Whats my 16month old doing? can we fix it?

I'm sad, so sad tonight that I cried and cried and cried. I really hope ds isnt weaning.

In the past 3 days we have had about 2 successful feeds (out of 9) :(

Its not that he doesnt want to feed, its how he is trying to feed that is the problem.

I have no idea what he is doing or how i can fix it (if i can). When we have been feeding lately he has been starting out good with the whole nipple in his mouth and having a few sucks, then he stops and slides my boob out (or his mouth down) until he is just sucking on the very tip of my nipple - kind of like he trying to drink out of a straw iykwim? It hurts as his teeth are grazing me and he is obviously not getting milk easily so is sucking harder. Its not working.

I have tried taking him off and re attatching him, talking to him and telling him to open his mouth wide etc etc etc. It always starts out good but after a few seconds its back the using my nipple like a straw. Its too painful and i just have to stop the feed.

Has anyone else had this problem? Can anyone suggest anything else to try. I dont want this to be end of our breatfeeding journey, not yet, not this way with me not enjoying it anyway.

Please help xxx

I dont have any answers but I wanted to give you a :hug:
Hope someone can shed some light and a solution for you xox

do you think he could be teething?

there's no way you could be pg could you? i'm just thinking that that may affect the taste and he's not liking it.

eta- oh i just noticed that you are pg! :) silly me.
well, my ds1 started mucking around a lot with bfing when i was pg. how many weeks are you?

Hey Kristy

I just wanted to send you some hugs too :hug:
I definitely wouldn't lose hope though..they go through phases so maybe it's just that. It also might be his way of adapting to your changing milk supply because of your pregnancy. Just try and stay relaxed when feeding and wait things out, otherwise he might sense you feeling uptight and get more fussy xx

(eta..Cr@appy/unhelpful response I know!!)

My DS does this too! Only one breast though, ts sooo painful! I know he isnt teething as he has them all now, and Im not PG, so its not that (for me at least)

I just keep trying to get him on properly when e does it, stop, start, stop, start its very tedious!
Hope someone can help you out, then I can benefit too! ;)

teething almost always caused problems here - as he got older they were the problem for any damage but it was mostly grazing. I went back to basics, making sure that I was holding him correctly and closely to my chest. I would unattach and reattach and while I don't necessarily recommend this but I mostly grinned and beared it, When it became too painful I would cut the feed short. I am lucky though cause DS mostly only ever teethed for a week or so and we are still feeding now :dunno: hopefully someone else will come in with some better answers for you.

:hug: though cause it can be really painful :hug:

It might be worth trying a drastic change in how you feed him. If you normally feed with you sitting then try lying down - maybe even lying on your back. Something so that he has to stop and think "how do i get to this boob".
You can exclude/verify the teething issue by giving him a dose of panadol half an hour before a feed and seeing if it makes him better behaved. If it does then you can't keep constantly dosing, but you know it should be better eventually!

Ladies, thank you for making me feel not so alone :grouphug:

Today wasnt any better - probably worse if anything. Both feeds lasted seconds :(
I must say too that we do feed alone in his room without any distractions. Both feeds today he asked for but tried and the same thing happened. He didnt seem upset though. I do have a feeling that my milk might be changing and he isnt liking it. I am 16 weeks pg. I'm going to keep persisting and offering at our usual times and see what happens. I sincerly hope he isnt weaning but i guess i should be happy if he is as i always wanted it to be his descision and not mine. I guess a part of me too really wanted to tandem feed. Its not over yet though.

Kmn THank you for your suggestion, we always feed the same so i might try tomorrow to lay down together for a feed instead of sitting up. I dont think he is teething but i'll try some panadol too.

kelebek I was too grinning and bearing it for a few days as i thought the pain was because i was pg and my nipples were getting alittle sensitive. I also think he wasnt doing it as sever then either. I'm still not 100% sure whether or not he is teething, i dont think he is but then when it comes to toddlers, are the parents the last to know lol??

Starrysky :hug: to you too and our sore boobies :) Its good to know that i'm not alone. I'm taking him on and off, on and off, on and off but same result. frustrating!

Lee, thanks for the hugs and non crappy response, lets both hope its a passing phase.

Ginger i'm 16 weeks pregnnat and i'm pretty sure thats got something to do with it but i'm suprised its happened now (if it is the problem) as he didnt seem to care when my supply dropped heaps suddenly - its back now - but i guess it might be the taste. Could be the new baby standing its ground already and refusing to share lol.

Jakabella - thankyou also for the lovely hugs xx

BFing was very sensitive for me for a while during pg and it resolved after about 5 or 6 weeks. He was over 2.5yo, and even though he dropped feeds during the pg he picked right up again after DD was born. I've had to scale him back now, though, because his attachment has become atrocious, too :( It's so hit and miss that I wish he'd take the hint and give it up! :hug:

I am no help, but you have some great advice here... My boys do/did this from time to time, and I think it is a flow thing... as in trying to get more flow... But it is not consistent for me, just the odd feed.

Also, I wanted to say, that even if DS has a little BF break now, there is no reason you cant get him feeding again when your new baby is born... :hug: xo

I remember reading that 15-17 weeks is when your milk changes and this is the time many toddlers therfore start to wean (40% from memory). But if you don't want him to wean, keep offering. It might be an acquired taste ;)

:hug: it always depends on the damage doesn't it, if it is severe maybe you need to cut out a feed or so until it heals properly and then can build your supply back up. I know even now that a few days before DS is sick he will feed almost constantly overnight and more often through the day so I know that even in toddlerdom they can rebuild your supply for you.

The pregnancy could be a contributing factor and I know of women who weaned while pregnant and then started feeding again once the new baby came.

Either way you are following his lead and that is all you can do. I hope this isn't the end for you and hope to read about your tandem feeding experiences.

:hug: It is so hard when babies wean before we are ready :hug:

You probably don't want to hear that my DS1 self-weaned at 14 months - when I was about 20 weeks pg. So it can happen that they feed through the pg at first, and then stop. However, it could also be a glitch in your case, and I certainly hope for you that this is what is happening. If you keep offering it, he might start taking it again. Otherwise, if he doesn't have any interest now, he might be interested again when the baby is born. This does sometimes happen and some mums unexpectedly tandem feeding a weaned toddler!

All the best hun :hug:

I'm pretty sure our breast feeding journey is over for now :(
Last night i didnt offer and he didnt ask and he was more than happy with a cuddle before bed. This morning he asked (well his way of asking is to stick his hand down my top and try to put my breast out lol) so i got it out and he smiled at it and giggled and gave it a little pat then kissed it and that was all. I guess he was just checking that it was still there.
We had some friends over today and 2 of them are breastfeeding. Byron was watching them feed and i asked if he wanted some and he flat out refused.
Oh well, i am happy that it was his choice but a part of me is also feeling like its my fault too. Mainly because i'm pregnant and i'm pretty sure that if i wasnt, he would still be feeding.
Its also hard to go from 3 feeds per day to absolutely nothing just like that iykwim? I kind of expected weaning to be a slower process of dropping a feed then another etc etc - a bit more gradual and not so sudden.
If he wants to feed when the new baby arrives i am more than happy to accomodate his wants. At this time though i'm just going to follow his lead and not offer unless he asks as its sad to see him refuse me.
We always joked that the new baby would end up on formula because he loved his boobies so much and wouldnt be willing to share ;)
THank you so much for all your support and suggestion, i never thought that weaning would be so emotional . Thank you also so listening to my rants, its been so lovely to have you kind of hold my hand through my tears :loveshower:

:hug: I was devastated when it happened to me too. You have done a wonderful job of feeding for 16 months, and allowing your DS to choose his own time to stop is a very special gift. It's ok to be sad, but don't be hard on yourself hun. This is the start of the next phase of your relationship with your DS, and this will continue to be a very special and rewarding time. The bond you have established already will never disappear :hug:

Thankyou MantaRay for saying such a lovely thing, you have made me cry again and yes, you are right that this is the start of our next phase.

:hug: oh hun, youve done such a good job.
Thats so cute about him just smiling at your bb and giving it a kiss!

:hug: It is sad when it happens, no matter when that is. It's wonderful that he's so comfortable with the idea, he doesn't know it's because your pg that your milk supply has lessened (in fact you've said it's back now!). His fiddling around and playing with the nipple is more likely his way of telling you he'd rather not drink from the bb anymore if he's done.

I think it's adorable that he's pulled your breast out and gave it a pat and a kiss though. ;) Kinda like, thanks Mum, I loved this while I needed it, but you can save it for the new baby now. :D

Well done to you both! :clap:

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This morning he asked (well his way of asking is to stick his hand down my top and try to put my breast out lol) so i got it out and he smiled at it and giggled and gave it a little pat then kissed it and that was all. I guess he was just checking that it was still there.

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aw, i got a bit teary reading that. It's like he was kissing his booby goodbye :( Hope you're going ok, chick! :hug:

Thanks guys, i'm slowly feeling better about it - i even wore a real bra yesterday :)
It was pretty cute they way he patted and kissed my boob, he tried to get it out again today so i showed him but instead of being all cute and nice he just laughed and shook his head no!

Again, your support had been invaluable and i thank each and every one of you :grouphug: