We had to let her cry :(

I feel so bad, DD1 has never been a great sleeper (I wrote a few threads about her sleeping before DD2 was born) and its just getting worse.

For the last 3 nights in a row - she has been awake from about 11pm to 4am. So DH and I are getting about 2 hours sleep.

Last night she came into our room around 11.30pm (after DH went to get us some towels from the linen cupboard, and knocked out two disc things that were sitting in there, they crashed to the floor and of course woke her up cos its right outside her bedroom) and we let her come into our bed, and she spent the next 4 hours whinging, grizzling, crawling around the pillows, headbutting us, complaining cos the sheets were on, complaining when they weren't, saying she was ouchie in her nappy area - it went on for hours.

At about 2am we were pretty sick of it, so I changed her nappy, put more nappy rash cream on (because she has an awful rash at the moment) gave her a bottle and put some nurofen in it (just incase she was in pain).

Come 3.30am and she is still doing the same old stuff, still whinging, still crawling around - arghh and we hadn't been asleep yet.

So I put her in her room - and she cried and cried and cried. I lay there in bed listening to her scream and it broke my heart :cry: I think I gave in after about 15 minutes, and went to her, she settled down and seemed to go to sleep. I went back to bed, 5 minutes later she started up again. So I went into her again. She resettled, seemed to go back to sleep.

I went back to bed and passed out because it was like 4am or something. Woke up suddenly at 4.30 with her SCREAMING - don't know how long she was going for because I was absolutely dead to the world. DH was too and he is more tuned into her crying than I am!! :cry:

So I tried to resettle, and it worked, then at around 4.45, DH had a turn and she finally FINALLY passed out at 5am. We then got up at 6.30.

Last night was by far the worst night because of the screaming, but I'm running out of ideas - and I need sleep. I've had 6 bloody hours sleep in the last 3 days!!

Help me find a gentle solution because nothing is working here. And I had visions last night of picking her up and chucking her against the wall so she would shut up - and that scares me :(

What if you keep settling her in her bed? It sounds like she settles better in there, or was that just last night? Maybe put a mattress on her floor, or sit for a bit longer after you think she's asleep?

We tried. Everytime we went to take her out of our bed she would scream bloody murder - it wasn't until we were totally friggin over it that we just said stuff it. We didn't want her to wake the other two up - they are in the next room from her and she screams so loud it makes your ears ring!

You poor thing. We've had nights like that where DD just won't settle, or she goes off to sleep and wakes up as you sneak out the door or something.. argh.

Can you put a mattress on the floor in your room or something?

One thing we've done and it seems to work, is give them a cup of chamomile tea, or maybe brauers calm? Think that is chamomile too.

If she's got a really sore bum at the moment, that might be making her restless. Hopefully she'll crash for you tonight.

*big hugs*

:hug: I can sympathisize completely but have no advice. I posted a similar thread about DS this morning. I have no idea what we can do either but we both feel absolutely exhausted as well. I know how you are feeling today though it probably doesn't help you much :hug:

I may not be much help but the mattress on the floor may work, or put her on a mattress on the floor in your room.

Also would a reward chart work, eg speak to her at bedtime about sleeping in her bed for the whole night etc and then set up a reward program. Its hard to know though whether she is waking due to being unwell or if it is night terrors etc. She wouldn't have earache or anything like that would she?

:hug: oh mel, no advice. just hugs.

sleep depreivation can really mess with your head. hang in there, I know youre doing a great job :hug:

Liz - that calm stuff we tried before, it helped get her to sleep of a night time (because she used to take up to 2 hours to get to sleep) but it doesn't help with the waking up in the middle of the night and staying awake.

Just Me - I read your thread and it got me thinking as to whether DD1 is suffering the same type of thing - she's nearly the same age, she will turn 2 in August.

Megs - we tried the mattress on the floor before. It was giving her too much attention and we would have the same results - no sleep. She would just play up more if DH was on a mattress next to the bed. Believe me, its been going on and off for MONTHS so I think we've tried just about everything. Oh, and I don't know if she would understand the concept of a reward chart yet, she might not connect her behaviour to the chart ITMS?

SS - thanks :hug:

Hugs Mel,

I dont have any advice as Bella is going through a "stage" at the moment as well where she will go to bed at h er normal 8 oclock then for the past 3 nights she has woken at 1am and will not go back to sleep in her cot - I have given bottles and pain relieve as she is cutting all 4 of her eye teeth. She will how ever go back to sleep in our bed or for the last 2 nights I have slept with her in the spare bed and she is out like a light. I thinks its a speration anxiety thing - could that be the same for DD1??

Do you have a spare bed that you could sleep in with her - then maybe get some sleep with her? Or a mattress on the lounge floor??

Hugs babe

Kate

DD1 did this for about a month before DD2 came along it was horrible so im sending some :hug:
I would get her up and sit on the lounge with her until she calmed down and then put her in bed but then she would wake up and expect to go onto the lounge everynight.
so I just gave up on sleep for a few nights and just kept going back in to resettle her in bed i think she just realised after a few nights play time was over.
She still wakes once or twice a night but we just have to put her dummy back in and lay her down again.
it was hard because her room is right next to DS so he was getting woken all the time.
Im sorry I dont have any helpful advice its so hard to function with no sleep :hug:
I really hope things improve soon

I don't have any advice to give but is there ANYONE who can mind your LOs today for a couple of hours while YOU get some sleep? It's sooooo hard making any sort of gameplan when you're in such terrible sleep deprivation!
:hug: I sure hope your family can find a solution soon.

Kate - I dont' think its separation anxiety otherwise I would have thought she would settle in our bed? But she's just crazy in our bed and its even worse when DS is in there as well (like he was the other night, and she would annoy him and he'd be like... all I wanna do is go to sleep.. and me and DH were going - ME TOO!!! lol)

Plus she went through separation anxiety at 14 months, and she's sorta grown out of that phase, well she doesn't have the same things as she used to when I left her, she is really independent and stuff now.

PO5 - yeah she did it too before DD2 came along, it was shocking then too. And even though I'm not pregnant, its definitely just as bad!!!

Koru - Sterla has offered to come and watch the kids for me, but I don't really do naps in the day time unfortunately, its like my body just won't let me sleep or something until night time - no matter how much I want it.

:hug: mel. no advice, i know you've been going through this for ages & have tried almost everything. i often wonder with DS what it is that i'm missing, is there something simple that i've completely overlooked! somehow i don't think it is that simple though :lol:

hang in there, i really hope things improve for you soon

Hugs hun DS1 has been like this for 1 week and I am ready to loose it!! Since 11 months he has gone to bed 2000 - 2100 and slept till 0730 - 0900, but since fri night he has had nights of screaming and carrying on till midnight or later or going down ok at 2000 ish and then waking at 2 or 3 screaming, put him in our bed and all he does is poke us climb on us and be down right annoying. Put him back in cot and he screams!!

I am of course feeding DS2 at times over night so that then means I need to put DS1 back in his bed, last night DH said just let him cry I did for a bit then lost it and told him my blood was boiling listening to him! so he went and folded out sofa bed in DS1 room and slept with him there.

On weekend he had some temps but otherwise well.

Hun you are not alone we can all go to mental asylum together!!

Hey hun,

Im not too up to speed on the gentle parenting stuff.. but have you tried a calm walm bath with maybe some lavender oils or something? If its an on going thing, maybe you can try that when she starts to worm around once the others have gone to sleep.. just to get everything calm and warm with her. Will help if she has a bit of nappy rash too. Im guessing its colder there than it is here, so maybe shes just getting uncomfortable with the cold.. not to mension her teeth coming through. DD is having a few nights here and there where her teeth are giving her hell. 1 in particular.

Hope shes better for you soon.
xx

Im sorry
definately not one for handing out sleep advice here but wanted to give you a :hug:

Sleep deprivation is torture isn't it. Poor you :hug:
I have found with DS1 that he does not settle in our bed at all, so we are better off leaving him in his, and sleeping on the floor in his room with him. He is much younger (only 2) and I can put DS2 in my room so that DS1 doesn't wake him. That's not so easy for you.

Look the other night I got so tired I bundled DS1 up on my lap on the couch at 2am and I fell asleep while he watched infomercials!!!! So I'm hardly an expert!!:redface:

:hug: Oh Mel, that sounds awful! How hard for you!!! :hug:

When I come out today, let me know if there's anything I can do. Even if you just have a lie down or a bath, or just time out from the kids to relax, and I can watch the kids. 6 hours sleep in 3 days is torture!!!

I wish I had a solution for you :hug:.

Mel, first of all hugs babe. I know how crappy it feels to have sleepless nights.

A few things occured to me which might be affecting miss m's sleep- have you had her checked out by a doctor? Maybe she has some sort of infection or something. DD has really bad ears for a while before I got them checked out and was sleeping terribly and when she was put on antibiotics and they cleared up, she slept better (not perfect, but better!). Could she be teething? DS is getting his big 2yr molars and we've had several up and down nights. Maybe try the brauers calm/sleep drops (whatever!) several times a night, not just the once. As in giver her some whenever she stirs and is awake enough to take some more. Burn relaxing oils in her room. Have some music/radio/noise in her room. Just quiet, but so it's not totally silent int here all night and it might help prevent her waking when she hears things outside her room? Or when she does wake would she listen to some CD stories or soemthing on headphones (it might help her concerntrate a bit and relax??). Have you thought about an allergy or sensitivity to foods?

That's it for now, lol. I know how desperate you can get. :hug: again. It totally sucks. I would take up the offer of some kids free time, even if you're just watching a movie on your own or sitting down to have a cup of tea or something, just relax for a bit without them at you all day. Wish I could help.

:hug: You've had some good advice that I've skimmed.

I was just going to add (the more you have to pick and choose from the better), sometimes if ours won't settle we give them a torch. We have wind up ones so we wind them up if they come out and send them back to bed with the torch. Is there something she can play with in bed? Where she can lie and be amused, and if we wakes up she can press a light show button or pick up the torch or something?

I've heard chiros and other such therapists can do good things too.

Hang in there. :hug: I hope something works soon. xo

Mel i would honestly be getting her checked out by a dr to make sure there's no underlying health issue bothering her.
sleep deprivation sux you poor thing, hope it's better tonight

:hug: babe. DD is doing the same things atm. And like you am doing everything I can think of...
Maybe there was something in the water around then... got to all our little ones then ;)

I hope something starts working for you soon. xx

Does she still have a daytime nap? What would happen if you cut it out completely?

My DS was a horrible sleeper till we cut his nap out, never slept through the night, not once. With him, he would happily go down for his nap at 11am, sleep for a couple of hours but then not go to bed till after 10 at night and still wake up through the night.

So we tried cutting out his nap altogether and yes, we had to treat him with kid gloves from about 4.00pm because he was very tired by then and if he got upset then he would cry until he was asleep...but when we cut out the nap (and put him in a big boy's bed) he started sleeping through the night finally. He was about 18 months which I know is young but he was getting 2 hours more sleep per day if he didn't have a nap...so based on the maths, it was the best thing for him. It does make for a long day having a toddler of that age up all day but he would crash at 6pm, sometimes earlier, and sleep for 12 hours. In the end, that was far preferable to him getting less sleep and that sleep being interrupted sleep.

It was transitional though, he needed to get used to it so to start with he would still have a nap every second day, then every third day (and we'd put up with the bad night but that was okay because it wasn't EVERY night now) and then once a week he'd have a nap...until it phased itself out completely.

Maybe your DD is another one that just doesn't need as much sleep as the average bear? I did feel I was doing it the wrong way around because DH and I were the ones that cut his nap out, I thought he would have to drop his nap himself...even now I could probably get him to have a nap in the middle of the day, but like I said, simple maths won out.

Oh sweetness!! :hug: to you, that's all I can offer. I have no ideas I'm so sorry. I do know that sleep deprivation truly is a form of torture! I'm waiting for Elijah to hopefully one day see that too!

:hug: Oh hun I dont have any advice just lots of hugs xxxx

Well I definitely think it is something in the water. My DS 26 months, has been waking up every morning at about 2-3am and crawling into our bed.

My DH tries to pick him up and carry him to bed but he wakes up and screams go way daddy and will only go to sleep when I lay next to him and I have to make sure he is totally passed out before I leave or he will just end up in our bed again. We just can't have him in our bed anymore as DS2 usually is in our bed as we co-sleep with him as he gets a bit of an upset tummy.

Maybe DD is overtired and she finds it hard to get back to sleep? I know the more tired my DS is before bed the longer it takes to get him to sleep and he seems not to sleep so well.

Do you think DD could be getting more teeth or is uncomfortable with the rash and that is unsettling her.
Sorry that I haven't been able to help. Fingers crossed you can find something to help soothe your lil one. I will be sure to post if we find a breakthrough!

Hi,

sorry to hear that!! My daughter sometimes has nights like that and it is really hard to cope with. Hugs to you and DH. I wonder if you know that you can give your bubba panadol as well as the neurofen. They are completely different drugs and work very differently and sometimes it works with my DH if I give her both. If your little princess has a sore bottom it may be that she is really sore and can't settle due to that. Our DD has had that with teething once. She has cut 6 teeth in 4 months so we have had a long few months.

Hope that helps.

Love Bella

mel - can you take her to the park and run her off her little legs in the afternoon so that by bedtime she is physically knackered as well as mentally worn out??
And maybe try daktozin for the nappy rash - it means hot water and detergent for the nappies but it really does kill off the rash!