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DD is 1hour 40 minutes into a tantrum that NOTHING will stop..
it started when DH went to get her out of the car... since then it has been CONSTANT screaming.. currently she has shut herself in her room, but wants me to open the door(door knobs really high) but i open the door an inch and she screeches harder and tries slamming the door..
I am not coping with this it is a daily occurance im F***ing over it!
Hugs... I feel for you. My little foster sister is a tantrum thrower, she is 10 now and still throws some rippers. The only thing that works for us is ignoring her completely. She has even gone as far as to throw rocks at HERSELF during a tantrum. She has ran away into the bush at 10:30 at night, she has ran down a busy highway... The works. The fastest way to get her to stop is to ignore. I have talked to her after one of her tanties (we are very close) and she said that she honestly cannot help it and hates it about herself but cannot stop as she just feels soooo angry.
Hope your DD (and my sister!) grows out of it soon xx
No advice but I couldn't read and run. I hope it passes quickly for you!
Distraction is my only advice?
maybe ignore the screaming, bring her out and maybe get her to help with dinner? even if your just talking her through it
nope distraction doesnt work, not even chocolate works ;)
i had cooked dinner already for tonight luckily.. it finally stopped after 2.5 hours with a 15 minute break while she was in the shower.
if i talk to her or look at her im screamed at even more, but im still screamed at when "ignoring" her and letting her do what she feels the need to do. she pee'd all over the floor in the middle of it cos she "couldnt move"
arrgghh deep breaths its just a phase its just a phase its just a phase
who am i kidding!
How old is she??
almost 3
My four year old DD has been losing it with gusto recently, mostly when she's both tired and p'ed off, but really pushing it to the limits. I'm thinking it might be hormonal, it's come out of nowhere and she's normally so reasonable.
It has gotta be just a phase!! In the meantime, I'm using it as the perfect opportunity to really learn how to stay calm and patient. Which is fine most of the time, not so easy after half an hour of screaming at 5 am in the morning. :rolleyes: Because she didn't have enough room in our bed (when she squeezed her way in) and I wouldn't get out. *sigh*
hugs darl :hug:
Awww... big hugs hun :hug:
It WILL pass... I'm thinking that there's something she's not processing well and it's making her act up? But I'm no expert, just a guess!
Is there something new happening? Kindy or anything? Maybe she's a bit overstimulated (or understimulated) :dunno:
Food thing? Maybe she has an intolerance? Try taking out all artificial colours and flavours?
I'm just throwing in everything here in case I hit the mark accidentally! :doh:
*Huge Hugs* I too can sympathise as my DD does exactly the same thing. I have tried everything, holding her, trying to talk to her calmly, trying to sit with her, opening the door, closing the door etc.... but ignoring has worked the best. She eventually wants to be cuddled b/c she is so upset in the end. Once she is calm I try to talk to her about how she is feeling and hopefully she will be eventually able to express what she is feeling rather than throwing a tantrum. I hope it settles down soon. I don't have anything else to add but just wanted to let you know you are not alone.
Nothing new happening as she is a very routine based child and loses the plot more so if her routine is gone.
most foods she eats we make becasue she is allergic to a few different things..
communication wise she is VERY VERY fluent and has an awesome vocab ;) (even though she is painful I am Still a proud mum) so its not a lack of communication.
Ignoring her doesnt change the situation but neither does attending to her... we end up waiting for her to tire out which today was at 2.5 hours
thanks everyone.
Golly! I just took a deep breath for you LOL
Im sure you have already tried absolutely EVERYTHING with her knowing the awesome Mum that you are, you said she calmed down whilst in the shower? Maybe you could put her in the bath for half an hour? Its the only thing that calms Archie down no matter what. I just let him stay in there playing til he asks to get out, sometimes he will be in there close to an hour.
Hope you and her learn a way of helping her soon x
it took 45 minutes to get her clothes off and 3 tries for the shower.. honestly there is NOTHING that will calm her down, i swear the cops will come to us soon with the amount she is screaming atm
You poor thing!
Have you tried being ridiculous? I have often found that being really stupid and silly is a great circuit breaker for a child throwing wobblies. I might put on loud music and do a silly dance, or sing outrageous songs, or make up a silly game like, sitting outside a bedroom door and wailing, "Oh nooooo, I have to go and bake a cake but my legs have fallen off!"
omg, I might have to try that.
DD is 4 and is just impossible. The closing door thing is vevry familiar around here. It does my head in. TBH it seems the only thing that helps is to let her scream the house down and wait for her to eventually throw herself in my arms.....
I find going for a drive helps with DD2, she just loves a drive. Once all I did was back out the drive and back in, that seemed to be enough to break the stalemate. It is so hard though when they just scream and they wont let you touch them.
The silly thing is a good idea - I'll have to try that! Friday we had a half hour tantrum at the front door because I wouldn't let her bring in the boxes from the rubbish bin until after the cleaner had left. :rolleyes:
Have you tried breathing in & out with her, just keep going "in" and breath in through the nose loudly, then "out" through the mouth loudly. Just keep on ... it's sorta like giving instructions / ignoring / giving attention all at the same time. Sometimes it's the only thing that will stop Pip. He'll scream and eventually do one breath with me then scream, then 2 breaths etc until eventually he's breathing without my instruction ...
:hug: good luck hun, else how loud can you get your iPod to play? (That's DH's solution ;) )
I have a feisty 3yo too. the things that seem to work the best are:
Long warm baths. Water is soothing... let them play in there for was long as possible... keep topping up the warm water... put in bubbles. If it's at night use candle-light (out of reach) turning off the lights does wonders. Don't speak much. Just do. Keep 'em guessing. That's why being silly works: they have to stop and try to work out what the hell you are doing and going to do next! Turn off any unnecessary sounds like background TV. Basically use sensory deprivation LOL. If it's day time just sit in the corner and play with something like some plasticine... don't invite them to play... just sit and make little eggs and put them in a pinch pot "nest"... 9/10 the kid will swallow their pride and come over and join you. If they stay irritable move away and 'play' somewhere else until they place nice. Try not to talk about the tanty... talk about something completely different... if the child can particiapate in that then weave back to the tanty issue.
Miss almost 4 is excelling with similiar stuff here!
If we can get outside things get better quickly....I am trying to pre empt by doing laps around the washing line/back yard to burn off some energy. I also find too much background noise gets her worked up too. Regularly food and water too - as we have been busy and let things go to long.
Good luck!
You rock!!! :cheer: I just LOVE this option! :spit::
Being ridiculous is fantastic, we do that often, I have also at the very start of a tantie, thrown myself on the floor and kicked and screamed myself with gusto, it shut him up and we talked about how silly it is to do that because it doesnt make you feel good and nobody knows what you want.