How did you do it? - 7pm(ish) bedtimes?

hey guys,

i have a 6 week old baby whos current bedtime is 11pm.
Everyone keeps telling me to get her into "routine" and get her bedtime earlier - but she is very strong willed, not to mention wide awake and wanting to play at 9pm.

How on earth do you enforce a 7pm bedtime on a baby? I refuse (repeat - REFUSE) to let her "cry it out", so how do we get her bedtime earlier - for her sake more than ours - I am more than happy to play and smile with her all day long :p

Is it true that she will "find her own routine"????
Thanks guys
Sue xxxx

Hon, i never, ever tried to get any routine happening until after 3 months...well and truly. I personally dont see how you can enforce a routine on a 6 wk old bub....she's been on this planet for 6 weeks and other people are expecting some routine out of her...its still all so new....

If your happy to smile at her all day long....why the heck shouldnt you ???

Seriously, you have ample time to get the routine happening...frankly, at 6 weeks old, i dont reckon it will happen....enjoy her, get to know her, and leave the routine for later.

ETA: i never used to let my babies sleep past 530-6pm when they your babies age...that way, by 7-9pm, they would be ready for another sleep....and this ended up being my bedtime too...;)
GL...

Agree. I don't enforce a routine before 3 months. I encourage, but don't enforce iykwim?

ALL my babies (ok, cept for the sensory one) fell into a loose routine themselves that I shaped gently around the 3-4 month mark.

xoxoxoxo

Gosh - I was hoping I'd find out how to get my 3-yr-old into a 7pm bedtime routine ... but in all seriousness, they will find their own routine, guided by you, in their own time. First 6 weeks for me was spent only able to get Pip to settle on my skin, so to even get her into bed at 11pm is better than what I achieved!!!!

:hug: and goodluck

OMG, some people need to get a grip. She's only 6weeks old for heaven's sake, you have months and years to get her into a routine (if that's what you want). My DS1 didn't have a bedtime until 2.5, and we all survived! And it's still not a strictly enforced bedtime either - if he has a late day sleep, he goes to bed later, if he has no day sleep he goes to bed earlier.

Hun, chill out, and follow your little girl's lead. You might find that in another 6 weeks she seems ready to settle into a routine, or you might find that it takes another 6 months (not that I mean she'll still be going to bed at 11pm in 6 months ;)). And stuff what everyone else says, you're her mum, you know her best :)

Thanks guys, that is all I needed to hear!!!!!

Sue xxxxx

DD didnt go to bed before midnight till she was about 6 months! i just started humming in my head when ever anyone started telling me to force her into a routine! slowly bed time got earlier and earlier. and it change DRAMATICALLY from month to month. sometimes she would be asleep at 5pm and awake for hours in the night. then the next she wouldnt go down till 9pm and would sleep till 5am. she got it in the end and now we bath at 7pm, feed, cuddle and she is asleep by 8pm 99% of the time! wakes once over night. she is 22 months.
to be honest the first year was pretty terrible when it came to sleeping, but only affected me if i worried i was doing the 'wrong thing' according to other peoples views.
A good friend of mine whos DD is now 5, got alot of stick from people about the way she parented, she fed to sleep, co slept, etc all the 'wrong' things (apparently :) ) and she was telling me the other day what and AMAZING sleeper her dd is now!!

I think the best thing a monther can do is listen to her instincts and her baby....and pick a good tune to hum in your head when people start telling you 'your making a rod for your back' :) hugs to you

Hehe, yeah I do all of the "wrong" things too (feed to sleep, co-sleep, cuddle her till she is "spoiled" etc).

I do worry about what other people say and take on too much from them - need to quit that hey? LOL

Thanks again people, you've just confirmed what I think in my own mind.

Sue xxx

Eeeekkk 6 WEEKS?!...The people IRL that I know that try and get their almost newborns to go to bed at a set time, are just trying to get back to their pre baby life..where they could have peaceful evenings to do whatever they wanted..Very selfish imo! Defeats the purpose of having children if you're going to 'lock them away' in their beds even if they aren't sleepy.

The opportunity for routines will come in time.

Sounds like you are a wonderful mummy :hug:

Sounds similar to how DD2 was, I'd attempt to put her down at 7:30 and she'd see it as a nap and be awake til 11ish. Eventually she caught on, we didn't push it, we just stuck to our bedtime routine of bath, cuddle and feed then bed. I can't remember what age she did start sleeping at good time but it did happen! In the meantime I just would sit up in bed, have her on my lap or next to me (she slept next to me anyway for months) and we'd just watch tv or dvd.

My best advice i got and now give in return... Is chilax and let it flow... as long as you are dealing with it then pfft to everyone else :-)

All my kids go to sleep by 730-800 but i have no idea how *i* did it... It just happened...

I wonder why it's so surprising that some babies are night-owls when so many adults are too! One of my DSs started used to like going to bed late as a young baby, and the other was an early to bed baby. Now that they are school/kindy they are both usually so exhausted at night that they go down easily by about 7:30pm. I really have found that life is much easier when you work with your child's natural patterns - some babies will sleep more than others etc. Otherwise it can just turn into a battle and no-one wins.

It sounds like you are easy going about it but feeling pressured. I think you are doing a great job - trust yourself hun. You know best.

I agree. Babies will do their own routine until their ready to slip into yours. However if you did want to encourage an earlier bedtime- maybe start a usual bed time 'routine' with her then- like thats when you do bath, put on her pyjamas, read, have cuddles, swaddle/grobag, and lastly feed and put to bed (whether this takes an hour or 2 or 3- doesn't matter). That's what i have always done from 7pm- do the get ready for bed thing. Even now we have a similar 'routine' for our 2 year old as our 4month old. I've always just done it this way to separate day sleeps to night sleeps (cause DS1 seemed opposite at the beginning) in the hope they learn to sleep longer- which they both started to do from about 6weeks. But then this might just be a coincidence.

Just do whatever feels right for you's and let all the info people are telling you that you feel you don't need go in one ear and out the other.

lol they're probably the people whose babies slept 12hours overnight at that age too ;)

I've had two night owls now and with DS I was despairing he'd ever go to bed at a decent hour....then right before (like 2 days :wall:) he turned one he decided that the 6pm routine we had done since birth finally suited him and that's when he goes to bed :dunno:

:hug: Sue.

It's best to follow your babys routine instead of trying to force them into your own at such a young age. As everyone else has said it's just about impossible for a 6 weeker to be down at 7 and if it did happen you would expect them to be awake about 11 for another feed. So just smile and nod and tell them how lucky they are if a friend says that is what they did.

I have cuddled and fed to sleep both my girls and these days they both go to bed around 8ish and self settle. It just happens naturally.

Totally agree with what others have said. We had a little night-owl too. I think by about 3 months she was fairly consistently going down at about 10 so then I gradually moved it back 10 mins every few days.
The other thing that may help - and you're prob already doing- is less stimulation in that last wakeful period. Low lights, avoiding flickering light or too much noise from TV etc.

You sound like you're doing a wonderful job. Bub will find her own rhythm and in the meanwhile will benefit so much from having such a gentle, responsive Mummy around, even at 11pm!!

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Is it true that she will "find her own routine"????

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Yes

We never worried too much about bed time when they were that age.. Just when they went down for an evening nap they went into their bedroom but most other naps were in the lounge..

for example.. If bub went down for a sleep around 5ish then we would pop them in their cot.. any other day time nap was out in the lounge with us. We didn't do it for any other reason except we liked them close..

Around 10-11 months all 4 of my kids have worked their own way into a 7pm bedtime and we still have that now..

When bub is awake at 11 do you have all the lights on ect? When my bubs were awake at that time I would still watch tv or play on the comp but I would turn out the lights so they knew it was bedtime.. Occasionally I would go lay down with them when I was really tired just so they would go to sleep..

I am sure soon enough your little one will be sleeping at that hour.. Does she sleep through from 11 and till what time?

Thank you so much again guys.

When we go to sleep at 11pm, she will wake at around 3am for a feed (usually for only 10 minutes) and then be back asleep until around 6.30am-7am, so you can see why I am more than happy with the way that things are!! I feel really lucky to have such a good little baby!! She sleeps really well overnight!

Thanks
Sue xxxx

My kids dont really get into a bedtime routine until their closer to 12mths! How can they when they are still having to fulfil their hunger needs on a regular basis? If she is fine to not go down for the night (assuming she sleeps in solid blocks) til 11pm then let her do it. I never used to really do the whole time to sleep thing til around 10pm with my kids right up until they hit 7 or 8mths. Esp with ds3 who was still breastfed and cosleeping til 11mths. Once they all started sleeping in longer blocks ie 5 or more hours then I would instigate an 9pm bedtime, then make it 8pm. Now Ds1 goes to bed at 8pm and Ds2 and 3 go at 7-7:30.

I feel your pain, and did not force a routine but once 7pm came, I treated her like it was night time.
So from 7pm I would cuddle/feed/change her in the room, no playing just plain old bored Mum, like a 3am feed. Does that make sense?
It took a few weeks but it worked. She now has her *own* bedtime of 6-6.30pm.

I'm so glad I came across this thread. DD is almost 6 months old and we have absolutely no routine. We don't even have a gentle rhythm. DD is very strong willed and knows what she wants (traits that are valued in adults yet not children, go figure :dunno:). She has her days and nights mixed up and it coincides with approaching wonder weeks. Things are much easier since I've stopped trying to get her to fit in with me and stopped listening to people telling me that I'm doing things wrong. I just stay up all night with her, feeding her as necessary and then sleep most of the day with her. Not sure how I'm going to go once I'm back at work...but I'll worry about that when it happens. It's just great to know that I'm not doing anything wrong by letting her do what she 'wants' (ie needs). And I have hope that she'll work it out eventually on her own. Thankyou

Sue, one thing I'm learning is to trust my instincts. As long as you and bub are happy there's no need to change anything.

Sue you have just said it yourself, you feel lucky to have such a happy baby and to have a good night routine once she goes to sleep so don't try and change things.

You are doing a fantastic job. She is sleeping EXTREMELY well overnight for a baby who is 6 weeks old! And like you said, you are happy, she's happy, so why fix something that isn't broken? I can't believe that people think that you can 'spoil' a six week old with cuddles! :o Both my girls were spoilt rotten then and still are! Keep up the good work hun xxx

Hi Sue,

Just wanted to say that your doing a absolutely wonderful job with your gorgeous litte girl Evie.
Please dont feel pressured by anyone. You just keep doing what your doing, there is no right or wrong time to establish a routine and just remember that what works for one bub wont always work for the next bub. As long as you and bub are happy thats all that matters, this is YOUR baby so dont worry about what anyone else might think.

Looking forward to catching up with you and Evie again soon. Take care x

By pure chance we have stumbled into a 7pm-ish bedtime (around 6wks), and every night I am amazed at how DD sleeps! I started noticing she would sleep really heavily around 6 - 8pm, and initially we were doing a bed/bath routine (using the word routine very loosely) from around 8pm, as she was really windy and unsettled and the bath helped. As the wind settled, and the temps here get colder, I decided to bath her around 6pm-ish and have a quieter routine before her first 'evening' nap. The first time we did it she slept from 7pm til 12.30am, woke, fed, slept til 4am, woke, fed, then slept til 7am! I was in shock - and I missed my evening cuddle and play time. DH and I agreed to stick to it (once again very loosely) for a few days and see what happened, as she had been so much happier and settled during the day after such a 'good' nights sleep. It's now been nearly 2 weeks and most nights are like it - asleep between 7 - 8pm, waking around 1am, then 4am then 7am, I snuggle her in with me to feed, she hardly wakes, then goes straight back to sleep in her bassinett next to the bed. I'll admit I think it's fantastic, but we didn't try to 'put' her into it, we just kinda fell into it! I guess she let us know it was what she needed, plus she pretty much only has long blinks during the day so she's probably pretty tired come the evening! With that said, I know it can all change in the blink of an eye, and if it does it does - whilst it's lovely to have a sleeping bub some mornings I lay there waiting for her to wake up because it feels like so long since I've had a cuddle and play! I say go with whatever works for you and bub :)

I do think they get into routine of their own. My little man turns into a feral pumpkin if he is not in bed by 6.30 pm. I would prefer a slightly later bedtime but alas, it's not to be. He normally wakes for the day around 6 am. We've tried to change the day so his bedtime was later so he could see Dad but that ended in tears so we just go with it.

The one thing I will say is that we decided to start doing a bedtime routine around 6 weeks. Even though our little man had no idea I found it gave us time to practice and by the time he wanted a routine we had one down pat.

Each child is different, and you've got to work with that particular child. With DD1, she was a night owl as a baby and at 6 weeks was going to bed at around 10pm for the night. DD2 was completely different, by 6 weeks she was in bed by 7pm and sleeping until 7am the next morning (and no, I don't let my children cry it out at all). We had a bed time routine with DD2 from day one, and I guess she just adjusted well to it. Didn't work with DD1 though!

DD is almost 14 months and her bedtime routine seems to be at around 10:30. If she goes at 7, she'll wake up an hour later to party for hours! She is slowly getting to bed earlier, but its not something I force, just watch for the signs and encourage her to drift away into her zzzz's when she's ready. Don't worry about what others say to you, do what works for you.

Corelly x