Printable View
Today i finally got confirmation that i had been accepted into the birth centre at my local hospital. I would really love to have a natural birth with no drugs but to be honest i am absolutely scared about how i can do this. I have no pain threshold and im not exactly fit so please tell me how do i do it? How do i get over the fear? What do i read, what do i do? HELP!
Not sure if you've heard of them, but the TENS machines are non-drug and they distract you from any pain. I used one with Pip and it rocked. The best thing about natural birth, without any induction etc, is that the contractions start small and then work their way up in intensity - unlike inductions, when it's suddenly *wham* at huge nasty ones. So it's your body doing natural pain relief. Have a look at hypnobirthing and breathing techniques, as it really does work.
:cheer: yay on birth centre!!!!!
I spent ages preparing myself mentally telling myself that I was strong enough to do this, that my body is made to give birth etc. I'm someone who passes out if I slam my finger in the door so can totally relate to the pain threshold. I spent my labour in the bath and found a crack in a tile and that is what I focused on the WHOLE time. I didn't take my eyes off it. DH, mum and MW kept saying how fixated I was and it didn't matter that they were talking to me, that crack in the tile gave me something physical to focus on during the contractions and gave me a chance to tell myself how well I was doing and how much I wanted this.
I didn't do any read TBH, just had a sheer determination that I was going to do this and prove myself and everyone wrong.
HTH. GL hun and you get the birth that you want. :hug:
I'm sure that there'll be others along with great advice, but I just wantd to let you know that I cope really, really well with natural childbirth, and I am a complete wuss when it comes to pain. When it comes to labour, it's just... well, different.:
Congratulations hun. That is great news.
The first step is to stop being scared about the pain being too much. It isn't too much. It is pain, sure, but it is manageable and you can cope. I think for most of us, the fear of the pain is actually worse than the pain itself. Knowing that each contraction comes and goes can help. If you can focus through one, you can focus through the next. The crack on the bath is a great anecdote. For me it was the breathing. Concentrating on breathing in until the peak, and then out, kept me focused.
I highly recommend that you read New Active Birth by Janet Balaskas. This helped me to have a great birth second time around. It talks about how keeping active during labour (as opposed to lying on your back which is the absolute worst thing you can do - it slows things down and also contractions hurt way more!!) really helps the process, and also about positions and breathing to speed labour up, and help you get through it.
I really hope you have the drug-free birth you are hoping for. I can tell you from my experience of having one of each, that you will feel a million times better after a natural birth than if you have drugs. And you will recover much more quickly. It is so worth it to resist the fear, and the temptation of pain relief. Best of luck hun.
Pretty sure there is a list of books round here that will help you, check on the main page.
You could look at doing a calm birth course or something similar. I did a great course with Rhea Dempsy called 'Transforming pain in labour' But that was in Melbourne. .... Perhaps there is something similar in SA?
A couple of great books i read were.... oh crap. What were they??? hmmmmmmm................ Janet Balaskas, "New active birth" is one i read. Will come back if i remember the others! (ETA- if i only i had of refreshed i wouldn't have had to think so hard. :lol:)
Here, found this for you.... Birth - BellyBelly Pty Ltd
But i really think the most important thing is being comfortable in your surrounds and confident in your body's ability to birth your baby. Read all you can until you get to that point. Of course there is always a few nerves and a little fear of the unknown, but that is only natural too. ;)
TBH when it all started I wasn't thinking about it, it was all happening so quick.
I agree that it is a different pain, there is a huge reward at the end of if and one thing you can do is focus on that and once each contraction is over, yes I have done that one and I don't need to do it again, one step closer..
The shower and bath are great natural forms of pain relief, I wanted to try the shower but didn't have the time, but I think it would heave really helped with the back pain (posterior bubs).
Maybe look into Calm Birth, as I think there will be some really valuable things in there that help you :hug:
Take care, and once it is over you won't remember the pain, it is an amazing thing that out bodies do, you can't emulate the pain so it will become a memory as such xxoo
Thanks everyone for your replies and advice. I guess because ds is only 18 months old the memories of what i went through with him is still very fresh. I remember very clearly after i had a shot of pethidine when i was in labour with him i felt like i was sort of locked in my own mind iykwim. I couldn't speak and express myself however my body was in so much pain and my brain was screaming but i couldn't express myself in words. I saw the epidural as my lifeline as after i had that i finally felt normal and human again. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. I hope my next labour is very different and i guess with an induced labour being hooked up to machines i really had no way of being as active as i needed to be. I think that is where most of my fear comes from and my way of breaking through that barrier is to have as much information up my sleeve as i possibly can have.
I haven't done it yet, so can't give qualified advice until I have :lol: but my strategies in preparing for it have been:
Hiring a Doula (IMO, the most important thing)
Completing an independent birth class (in my case it was Rhea Dempsey's Embracing the Intensity class, also in Melbourne)
Reading widely, including Juju Sundin's Birth Skills, and Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering - both of which I would recommend
Hiring a TENS Machine
Preparing a labour "toolkit" with heat bags, massage oils, stress balls, etc
Hope that helps. Also, remind yourself that you CAN do it, because plenty of people doubt the birth process and will offer "advice" about accepting the drugs and suggest that you can't do it drug-free. This is bollocks (again, I haven't done it yet, but I am confident that labour and birth can happen without the drugs because, well, plenty of women have done it before). My Mum did it 4 times. And what's more, the question should not be "why would you do it without drugs?" It should be "Why would you take the drugs?" because those drugs and interventions come with their own set of consequences for you and baby that everyone should consider before they accept them during labour and birth.
GL!
I knew I wanted a natural birth, mainly because I had looked into the drug options and none of them appealed to me at ALL.
I'm a sook with pain though and I remember being sooky/crying after having a crampy arm for a couple of hours during pregnancy, caving in to panadol and wondering how on earth I would get through a natural labour :lol: But labour pain is different. It's not like a crampy arm where you're not sure why it's hurting, you know it's not normal and you don't know if/when it will end. Labour feels natural, painful sure, but natural. You know why it is happening and you know it will end (eventually ;) ).
Things that helped me were:
Reading about the drugs and their side effects- this helped so that even when I couldn't think in labour I still knew in my heart I didn't want any of them so they just weren't an option.
Reading birth stories and the articles on bellybelly- this helped me feel prepared for what can come up & what to expect so that when it was happening it wasn't all a huge unknown. Though I still remember saying to my H "I had no idea!" ;)
Reading birth books- I never settled on much that helped me 'deal with the pain'. I read Birth Skills a bit but didn't use any of what I read. I read Birthing from Within which you may like as it deals with fear of birth, but I personally wasn't scared so I didn't get anything out of it. I watched/read The Pink Kit and I really liked that for the understanding it gave me so I felt knowledgeable about what was happening.
I tried a TENS a machine and hated it so while I still recommend them based on other people loving them I wouldn't pin all your hopes on it. I moved around a lot and tried different things. Rocking/swaying, squatting and being in the shower were the best things for me. Oh, and I expected labour to take at LEAST 24 hours and I think that helped as I just tried to get into the zone and get on with it and not wish it would end soon as I didn't expect it to IYKWIM.
Congrats on getting into the birth centre - I hope you get the birthing experience you want!!
I knew I wanted a natural waterbirth, I did have alot of fear, as I simply had no idea what to expect, and I did alot of preparation that I think helped:
- I read Labour of Love by Gaby Targett, a very natural and easily read book about natural childbirth
- I kept visualising the birth I wanted to have, at one point I wrote out how I saw it all happening
- I wrote a list of affirmations that I hung up in our bathroom where I could see them from the shower (don't ask me why) and read them aloud every morning and night, always finishing with "I will have the birth I desire"
- I did an easy walk for half an hour nearly every day of my pregnancy - I am by no means a fit person but I do think this helped - along with regular chiro visits throughout my pregnancy due to sciatica
- I used rescue remedy during my labour, drops under my tongue and in every bottle of water I drank, and I drank alot, but I swear it helped keep me on a more even keel
Good luck!
I was so unfit during pg with DS and I was worreid about that stopping me from having an active birth - but it didn't.
Read that Juju book of yours - the visulation and stomping helped me, so there might be somehting in there that you can try.
The shower was fantastic - and get DH to take boardies with him so he can get in there with you and get the shower head on you where you really need it at the time.
Remember the mw's in the bc are more geared to an active birth so they should suggest things during the labour to help (didn't really help me this time as wasn't in the labour ward for long enough, but with DD, the mw kept suggesting things like a change of position, getting in the shower, etc and it really helped)
I've lent my copy of active birth to dan's cousin but she's due in Aug, so will get it back and then you can borrow it if you want.
Believe in yourself - when I did pg yoga with DD, we were given a list of affirmations and encouraged to take a few minutes of peace every day (if Lachlan will let you!) to repeat them to ourselves, so i did it this time too. I've lost the list, but one of my favourites was along the lines of "my body knows what it is doing to birth this baby safely and naturally" or "my body is able to birth this baby naturally"
I suggest you speak to a hypnobirthing or calmbirthing counsellor - fear plays a big part in how/whether and the extent to which you experience pain. Personally I found that reading about the link between fear and pain to be very useful.
everyone's given so many great suggestions.
I just wanted to agree with others that it's really important that you practice some positive affirmation. Tell yourself you can do it and you're not scared until you believe it!
I can remember chanting to myself (in my head) during every contraction 'this is my body being strong, this is my body being powerful. This is my body doing what it's meant to do' and that helped me to believe I COULD do it.
I guess what I'm saying is it doesn't matter what your technique is, so long as it gives you the belief in yourself that you need.
good luck! :)
Believe in yourself, you can do it! :)
I read the Juju book as well as Labour of Love by Gaby Targett which was really good, she has great affirmations you can write down and repeat to yourself. I also borrowed a hypnobirthing CD from the library and copied onto my iPod and listened to it every single day. I attended physio-run classes about breathing and positioning in labour and birth which gave me some great coping tools. At the time I picked about two different positions that worked for me. I used the shower and the bath alot and I also had a tens machine which was a dream until I was in transition stage where I didn't believe it worked because I couldn't pump it up any higher ;)
But yep getting the right mindset beforehand helps ALOT, read lots of positive birth stories and books and affirmations. It's what we women are designed to do, trust your body, it knows what it is doing :)
Everyone has already given such good advice. For me, the breathing techniques really helped to relieve the pain, and I found the first 7cm to be such a breeze (in comparison to what I'd expected)
However, I got really tired after that, having not slept at all the night before, and didn't have the energy to breathe properly, and those last 3cm I just kept reminding myself why I didn't want pain relief. I kept imagining my darling DD being born all doped up from pethidine, or myself in 10yrs time with back pain (epidural) and that stalled me requesting any until suddenly it was time to push!
They say really working on your pelvic floor throughout pregnancy makes for an easier birth... I was way too lazy and didn't do any, and still managed to do it!
To wrap it up:
just take each contraction as it comes, think of it as not pain, but a natural body process.
Breathe in and out deeply with each contraction
When you feel like you just can't take it anymore, that's when you know you are almost there.
Try to get a good rest the night before, and eat well.
Oh also!! Request a catheter if you haven't peed in hours and can't do it yourself, this really made the contractions less painful for me.
#1 - DOULA!
Doulas - What Is a Doula And Why Do So Many Women Want One?
Need I say more?!?!?!?! She'll also teach you all of the above and more, and likely have on loan all of those books above and more ;):
There are many studies from around the world which have demonstrated very impressive benefits for the mother, father and baby, including:
50% less caesarean sections
Reduction in the use of forceps by 40%
60% less requests for epidurals
40% reduction in the use of synthetic oxytocin for inductions or augmentations
30% reduction in use of pain medication
25% reduction in labour length
Increased rates of breastfeeding at 6 weeks post-partum (51% vs 29%)
Higher self-esteem (74% vs 59%), less anxiety (28% vs 40%) and less depression (10% vs 23%) at 6 weeks post-partum
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth = an absolute MUST!!!
I had a traumatic first birth, and I give full credit to the power of this book. Absolutely incredible!
I had my drug free birth, and it was the best experience of my life :)
Hi there,
We all know that women who want to birth in the Birth Centre, are AIMING for a natural, drug-free birth. So with that in mind, when you applied to birth in a Birth Centre, some part of you must have felt that you could too. Please correct me if I am wrong.
The beauty of Birth Centres is that they are generally attatched to a hospital where there is a Birth Suite which has all the pain relief you want.
I think at this stage you should focus on educating yourself about natural birth and methods that can help you achieve one. The others have already suggested a truck load of great ideas. The best of all I guess is to have faith in yourself. And remember, there is always room for options.
I wish you all best!
x
I agree that faith in yourself is a huge factor!
I had gas & pethidine with DD1, because I had no idea what I was doing, or what to expect. I was terrified of the pain & thought it wasn't normal, so was fighting against it. Tencing my body up to fight the pain, rather than let the contractions do what they were meant to do.
Next time around I knew what I did wrong the first time, so I was able to focus on this. I tuned in to each contraction. Rather than freak out from the pain, I kinda hummed through them, while visualising what they were working towards - my cervix opening.
I think just the fact that this will be your second birth is a good start. You know what is happening, you have a good idea of what to expect & even though its still very scary, you know what is happening IS normal.
There are alot of great suggestions, but the first thing you need is belief in you :) You can do it xx
A non induced labour is SO much easier to deal with in my experience, so that may be a huge factor for you
I second reading Ina May. I read Spiritual midwifery. Loved it
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!
And also don't overthink things, just look after yourself, imagine a gentle meeting of you and your bub and soon you'll be holding them in your arms.
My second birth (a planned homebirth) didn't quite go to plan, with a 9cm transfer and 3 hours of pushing but it was still AWESOME to meet my son.
Good luck
:hug: it is natural to be wondering about all these things, i haven't checked all the replies but i def think a doula is worth looking into and also having a good chat with the birth centre about everything might help.
I too was far from fit with both my girls, i am 'technically' obese and was so so worried about the fact that i am normally the biggest sook in the world when it comes to pain.
I guess you just need to find something that makes you feel calm, surround yourself with people that understand your wishes and go from there.
Sorry i don't have much to offer except a big :hug: and the best of wishes, i had both of mine natural and without pain relief, it's the greatest feeling and i NEVER thought i would do it, DP and i joked that i am such a sook i would have every drug imaginable.... believe in yourself and your body and you will be fine!
Feel free to read my birth stories, they are in my sig...