Going away without my babies :( Advice?

Hi ladies, thought I'd just get some thoughts/opinions/advice on my plans for when I go away next week!

I'm going overseas for 12 days to do some charity work - and my girls are staying home with DH :(

I am rarely away from my girls - EVER (we dont get babysitters, they dont go to childcare or kindy) - DD#1 has only been away from me a couple of nights and DD#2 has never been away from me overnight! I'm freaking out!!!!

Anyway, Ive only mentioned to them in passing that I'm going, I thought I'd leave it till Tuesday, that way its only a few days before I go.

I want to make a giant calendar with them - with all the days I'll be away, and fill it in with all the things they are going to do - days with Daddy, days with Grandmama, playgroup etc etc

I'm also putting together some presents for them - we will mark the days on the calendar when they are allowed to open a present.

Now - with saying goodbye - its a bit tricky, because I have to be at the airport at about 11:30pm! I have decided to still take them to the airport - I feel like a definite goodbye (with them actually seeing me go) will be less tramatic than just waking up to find me gone. What do you think?

Have I forgotten something? Has anyone had to do this before? Any other thoughts/suggestions?

TIA :)

:hug: I totally understand why your scared, the thought of leaving my baby even for an hour is enough to nearly bring me to tears.
I haven't been through this so don't have any experience but thought I'd give my ideas anyway, just in case they're useful... (Probably not though). Lol

depending on how old they are (sorry I forgot to check your sig)

I think the calendar idea is great! As well as the presents.
I'm not sure leaving it until a few days before you go is a good idea, it might be a bit sudden and hard to digest, but obviously you know your children better than me. :)

i think your right to take them to the airport too as not only will they be able to wave goodbye and see you leave, but it will make it a bit exciting too, it might put a bit of a positive spin on a sad event.

Are you going to have access to a computer with the internet? Could you skyp(sp?) with them every few days?

Postcards/ letters with photo's of where you are?

Show them a map and point out where you live and where your going? You could get a big world map or print a smaller one and stick it to the wall.

Are there any childrens books about when mummy/ daddy goes away? Surely there is? If not maybe you or I should write one lol

a special new toy to take to bed with them, it could be like your goodnight to them each night.

HTH, that's all I can think of for now, I'll come back if I come up with anything else. :)

They are 3, and 19mths.
My ticker is a bit out - I'm not actually going till Sunday night.
DD#1 is the type to over-think and get stressed about things, so I didn't want to tell her too far in advance. She does know I'm going away, but we haven't spoken about it in detail yet.
I thought I could talk about it properly the day we start to make the calendar.

The map idea is great! Will def use that :)

Unfortunately I probably wont have computer, but will have my phone on a few of the days. I was also thinking of making a few pre-recorded video messages?

Ooh watch out for the phone bill. Lol my sil and mil just got 2000+ bill for using thier phones overseas! Not saying dont do it, just be careful lol. You could buy a cheap phone from wherever your going, it might be cheaper that way. Not sure though.
The pre-recorded videos sound really great!
it sounds like discussing it with them when you do the calendar is the best option for you :) or maybe with the map? That way you can show them at the same time.
ETA- I know some airlines have online flight trackers so you can see when the flight has landed/ it's status. Your DP could show them/ tell them what it says, I'm not sure how detailed they are though.
Btw, good on you for being so selfless and going out of your way to help others. You deserve a medal :clap:

For you - take lots of photos of them with you if you have space, maybe show them that you are packing them that way they know that you will be thinking about them too. What about getting them to choose something of theirs that you can take o/s with you (again space permitting) like a small stuffed toy that you can say goodnight to everynight (I know that probably sounds dumb) and then they can pick one that they can say goodnight to every night so it's like you're saying goodnight to each other...if that makes sense. same with the pre recorded messages, maybe you could do one that they can watch before they go to bed.

Love the map idea, could you do a basic itinerary with them and mark on the map where you will be on certain days so they can kind of travel with you. I think the calendar is great too, gives them a specific timeframe that they can see how long you will be away for, and also gives them things to look forward to before you get back.

Enjoy your trip, try not to miss them too much!

I don't have any ideas, but just wanted to say that I want you to have a fantastic time, and not worry about your babies, I'm sure they will be very well looked after.

Just think of the joy on their face when they see you when you return home - heck I'm even tearing up thinking of it, and they're not even my babies!

Have a great time my sweet.

I don't have any advice either but wanted to give you hugs!! I was away just one day and missed my bubba lots!!
Have a great trip!! What a wonderful thing to do :)

Big squishy :hug: to you hun. I love your calendar idea, that is fantastic! When DH goes away (usually it's only 1 or 2 nights) he tells Oskar the night before. However, the first time we did let him know a few days ahead and then just gave him little reminders about it. Andy usually does bath/bed so it was me who had to "learn" their little rituals. He was actually fine with it all which did surprise me. I find that I have more issues with the mornings (this is all the time, every weekday lol) that he wants to call out to daddy to come and get him out of bed. Andy tries to bring him a new book each time too.

With DD1 being a thinker, maybe she could have the special task of marking off the calendar each day and maybe she could think up some things she might like to do/make etc for you for when you get home? Like little pictures or things about what they've been doing?

As for the airport, I think you need to do what you feel is best there for you all.

Oh my gosh.. I just want to send you a big squishy hug :hug:
I can only imagine how hard this will be for you.. My babies are much the same.. never been away from mummy
I totally agree on taking them to the airport - make sure they see you leave, much better then them waking up and mummy is missing!
:hug: :hug: :hug:

Try and enjoy your time away though.. charity work, sounds like you're an incredible woman ;)

:grouphug: thanks guys :)

ozzie - great idea! maybe they could take a photo everyday?

Yep, they could take pics every day. She could make a little book for you?? With some pics, drawings or different things like that? She's quite creative and she seems to like doing those things from what I've seen.

oh a book is even better! cool - she'd love that :)

well today didnt go great, we attempted the calendar but then we all just got too grumpy lol
When we had our little chat DD#1 said "But I dont WANT you to go!!" :( it was awful. Now I'm feeling like the worst mum in the world. *sigh*

:hug: your not the worst mummy in the world, your a wonderful mum, a bad mum wouldn't bother doing all this for her kids.
I'm sure she'll be fine. :hug::hug:

:hug: hun. We were grumpy today also lol. Must've been the day... get the cobwebs all out. Ok... when Oskar tells me he doesn't want me to do something and it's me doing something for someone I just tell him that it's nice to share and sometimes he might need to share his mummy too. Or another one is sometimes mummy needs to do some things for other people. I know this is hugely different for you guys as you are actually going to be in another place and country. Might help a little though? Maybe you could draw a picture for her of her helping daddy to look after little Miss E whilst you are helping some other people? Would that help? Make her feel like she has a special task to do and that daddy really needs her to help him? She will be ok hun, she will. I think it's going to be harder on you than her.

There is a chance that they will have a great time while you're away, and all your worrying will be for nothing.
We lived in a remote area and both parents used to go away from time to time. We LOVED it, even though saying goodbye often involved some tears. I don't know if both were aware, but we would always get some kind of treat after the airport dropoff. It was probably the only times we had takeaway or junk food. We also got to go on lots of sleepovers to friends places, which also invovled food that was banned at home.
As we got older, the only downside of mum going away was getting to school and realising we weren't dressed properly or we'd forgotten to brush our hair. I think I wore my slippers to school one day. Another day I had my pjyama bottoms on under my uniform -- some boy took great delight in pointing this out when I turned upside down on the jungle gym. Dad never noticed these things but unfortunately our teachers did. My sister had a note sent home once telling Dad to make sure we brushed our hair before we left home. Hehehe. Dad used so many bobby pins on us after that note.

So once you are away, try to enjoy your amazing experience rather than worrying about what your darling babies are doing.

Thanks so much GTBBIA :)

I'm feeling much better about it today. I think DD#1 is feeling better about it all too, yesterday she said to my mum "There are some other children that need helping, so Mummy is going to help them. So you will help Daddy look after me, Grandmama!"
Made me cry! She's so precious :)

Our calendar is looking good too! And Ive got some presents to wrap tonight, all ready for their present box. I'm getting there...

Your DD sounds so cute! I'm so glad your both feeling better about it :)
I would love to see a pic of the calendar if you want to put one up, if not that's cool, I'm just being nosey :lol:.

How did it all go?

Heather - it was amazing! The girls were absolute gems, DH said the calendar was a lifesaver - and the presents were a hit too :)

:clap: that's awesome hun, I'm so glad it went well. :) :hug: