What helped you get through labour and have a natural birth?

Hi Ladies,

I'm currently reading Juju's book 'Birth Skills'.
While all the skills make sense and sound great I would really like to hear your own experiences.
Did learning particular skills make labour easier for you?
I really want a natural/drug free labour.
It seems alot of women don't give birth these days without epidurals etc, is labour that unbearable that I won't cope without drugs? Whenever ppl ask and I say I don't want drugs etc they look at me like i'm mad, i've had ppl tell me i'm stupid because if I can have a relatively pain free labour over a very painful one why wouldn't I? And DH sister even told me I should consider an elective c-section, because it is better for me and baby.
I'm scared of having interventions/c - sections or an epidural etc, if I can I want to labour and give birth naturally.
Do you have any advice on what helped you prepare for labour?
What got you through?
Did you ever feel pressured to hurry up? I'm afraid that if I am progressing slowly that I will be told I need a c-section or forceps/vacuum etc.
Are hospitals likely to try and make you hurry up or are they happy for your body to do things in it's own time?
Basically I want to birth my baby naturally, in my body's own time & without drugs unless my baby or I are in distress or danger.
I'm a first time mum & pretty nervous about the unknown, I don't know how painful it will be, if my body is capable and guess i'd like to know how you managed to get into the mindset that you could do it?
And what skills really did work and what didn't?
Thankyou Ladies, sorry for the ramble :D

-stalks thread-

I could have written this myself. I have family support, my mother and aunt all had natural births (my mother 5, my aunt 4) and told me "Pssssh you dont need drugs!" haha. I'm also going to try and labour at home as long as possible, I too am scared the hospital will try and pressure me to hurry things along.

Sorry I'm not much help at all, but I am really eager to see the responses :)

You know what you cant prepare for it 100% ...
I would suggest you stop worrying about it and enjoy the pregnancy right this minute or else you will go mad with worry lol
I have had two baby's and the two were totally different but vaginal births.... first one i had epi and vaccuum (long long labour) and second one i had one shot of peth and sucked on the gas (4 hr labour)
I honestlt would suggest to you to have a open mind about how your baby comes into the world ok ...... yes you can try a drug free labour/birth or if it gets too much you can ask for some pain relieve...... we live in a time that drugs are there to be used in childbirth if you want to use them.
Enjoy that growing bub and have an open mind :)

Hey Babyluv,

I had a think about this and here is what I think helped me get through 2 drug free (if you don't count gas) labours and births. Both babies were not in the right position so they were 'difficult' with about 3 hours of pushing. But hey I don't really know any different

I think not getting weighed down in the detail of your plan is important. such as "I want to walk around, be in the pool"... just go with what feels right at the time
I expected it to hurt a lot! I secretly hoped I would be one of those women who woke up one morning with a cramp and had the baby before I got out of bed, but in reality I knew it would hurt. This is important too. When you read lovely birth stories take heart but I think expecting pain is important.
Like you I DID NOT want intervention, and I think it was this sheer determination that got me through, With DD1 I was induced after my waters broke and I decided to choose my battles. I let them monitor me and out in an IV but I would have fought an unnecessary Caeser. My midwife was awesome too, kept everyone out of the room. I would probably fight the induction more now, having had a natural labour but who knows.
Tell yourself, outloud if it works for you (does for me), that you can;t wait to meet your baby. I do this a lot in labour adn I think it helps me remember the baby and forget the labour...I say "comeon baby I can't wait to meet you" or look at my husband and say "We're having a baby". That sounds silly written but it changes the focus from whats happenning to the magic that is about to happen. And especially for my pushing marathons, it makes me keep going.

Believe in yourself and your body! This is what it was made for! YOU CAN DO IT!
And also remember, that necessary C-sections save lives. I thinks its important to not demonise intervention completely, because you could end up feeling awful after birth. Again focus on the fact that you have made another human. That is awesome. You will be holding your baby in your arms... YOU CAN DO IT!

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-stalks thread-

I could have written this myself. I have family support, my mother and aunt all had natural births (my mother 5, my aunt 4) and told me "Pssssh you dont need drugs!" haha. I'm also going to try and labour at home as long as possible, I too am scared the hospital will try and pressure me to hurry things along.

Sorry I'm not much help at all, but I am really eager to see the responses :)

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Forgot about logistics, Labouring at home is sooo much better. I was hoping for a home birth with DS and got to 9cm in the peace and quiet (apart from my noisiness) of my home. SOOO nice. You feel safe, your partner can eat, go to the loo whenever etc. you can play your own music, have candles. Excellent point!

I intend on staying home as long as I can also, hospy is only 5 mins down the road!

Hi Babyluv and shan23.
I'm just approaching my own first birth so can't speak from experience but I've also had people (some who haven't even had children) tell me to go straight for the drugs or epidural. This has really been getting on my nerves as I'm going through a birth centre which means those methods are not your first option.

DH and I attended a Calm Birth class to help us prepare as a couple. It was great in that it defined my DH's role and gave me information and techniques to manage through labor, such as relaxation and visualisation.

I think what's helped me is to understand the process of what the body actually does and to have faith my body can do it. The other factor for this is that as I understand it, fear of the process can increase pain, probably due to your resistance to the process. My main aim is to go with the flow, accept what happens and be surrounded by people who will support you and provide the loving environment you feel safe to birth in.

As for intervention, from what I've learnt it may depend on your choice of care. There are generally greater intervention rates in private care vs public etc. Perhaps if you are worried about that consider a doula, or ensure your partner is aware of your wishes so they can stand up for you when you may be in a state not to do so for yourself. If they are forcing something on you which you are not sure about ask what options there are, what are the outcomes of each treatment path etc.

Wishing you both well.

Three things helped me but thats not to say that the next time I will be able to birth DD with a natural delivery drug free. Lots of things can happen that can be out of your control, but what got me through was:

*Hot water!!!! It helped ease the pain on my back and belly so much. Those hand held shower heads are like gold!!!! Just make sure you have a hot water supply that doesnt run out. I was in the shower at hospital for at least 2hours!

*Positive self talk through labour (whch I feel allowed my body to progress). I can remember sitting in the shower at hossy saying to myself "I can do this" over and over again. It worked for long enough until it was too late to ask for an epi as I was at transition

and

*labour at home as long as possible.

Hi Babyluv

there is no simple answer to your question, but there are a number of things you can do to maximise your chances of a natural drug free birth.

1) believe in yourself. Believe in your body and your baby. Without confidence in your body's ability you will doubt and have fear, which will inhibit your birth journey.

2) trust your caregiver. If you do not trust the person who is caring for you in labour you will not relax. Trusting that intervention, if suggested, is necessary for you in your particular case is important as well as trusting that no uneccesary intervention will be mentioned so you don't have to stress and can get busy with the business of giving birth

3) stay at home as long as possible. Getting to hospital far too early is one of the most common mistakes first time mums make as it starts the official clock ticking on your labour.

4) don't be scared to try a couple of paracetamol and a bath, this simple technique can get you through a long latent stage and onto an empowering birth.

5) Have a plan. By this I don't mean a written in stone birth plan, but have some ideas about how you might cope. Some people find aromatherapy suits them, for me it was calmbirthing techniques. Others use deep breathing, positive birthing affirmations, or a combination of any of these.

6) Prepare your body as for a marathon. Eat well, do simple exercise (such as walking). Labour is a hard slog and if you are strong you will have a much better chance of doing it without drugs.

7) Have birth companions who believe in you. This may mean someone other than your partner, or someone in addition to your partner. Many women end up with an epidural because they feel bad for their partner who is unprepared for the pain they are in. Making sure the people who are supporting you in labour are supporting your labour ideals and prepared for them will maximise your chances.

Natural drug free birth is very possible, I have done it 3 times (4 if you count the twins as 2) but having supportive birth companions and having a coping mechanism in place were vital to my success. Hopefully you will have the same experience, you certainly sound very motivated which is so important

trav
xx

I've never been through it and done it, but i've been there with a number of women who have.

Keep and open mind. You never know what will happen until you get there. The key is to listen to your body, do what it is telling you to do.

I think support is the big key though. have people in the room with you who will be there for you and with you, who will talk through it with you, for you to hold on to, who will then offer you drink, rub your back, whatever you need. People who want what is best for you (not what worked for them, because basically it might not work for you what they did) 90% of my work is me standing with the woman and just telling her to remember to breathe, that she is doing an amazing job (because she is!) and getting her though one contraction at a time, and then a few minutes later doing the exact same thing. That and I always say try everything, if it works great, if it doesnt, we try something else, whether if that is just changing position, or changing the track in the cd player. then when it does work, and it stops working we try something else.

all the best with it. but also remember you still have a few months!! enjoy being pregnant for a while longer =)

I truely believe the decision re no drugs vs drugs can't really be made until the moemnt arrives. I have had an emergency CS where I had gas and laboured for 14 hours, failed epidural and ended up having a general anasthetic. This experience made me want a vaginal birth second time around.

I had a diff Dr as we changed states and I told her at my first appointment I wanted a VBAC (and was prepared to fight for it). She was totally supportive and said "of course you can birth vaginally"!

What helped me:

I read everything I could about empowered active births, I laboured at home for as long as possible as my waters were intact. I was focussed and had a fabulous Dr who stayed by my side for the entire birth. I arrrived at hosp at 7am and my DD was born at midday. I walked around and kept telling myself that I COULD do this, my body knew what to do, my baby girl was ready, I was safe, and I looked upon every contraction as a good thing despite the incredible pain (posterior labour) and surprisingly I was ready to push by 10am.

BUT, I pushed for 2 hours with no joy. I became exhausted, my baby girl became exhausted and my Dr spoke with me about options - forceps or another CS. Again she gave me the confidence to choose the forceps. So I went with an epidural and a forceps delivery.

Despite the intervention I ended up having I achieved my dream.

My baby girl arrived with me awake, no CS and was immediately placed on my chest. She BF while I was stitched and we were left to bond as a family for several hours in the delivery room before I was moved. She was beautiful, I have photos of her and sharing her first BF when she was minutes old and it was blissful...

The power of a determined woman is a force to be reckoned with!

Good luck, stay calm, stay focussed and anything/everything is possible! xx

Lots of reading, and thinking why i wanted the things i wanted and why i didn't want other things.

"The thinking woman's guide to a better birth" is a great book. Books by Ina May Gaskin inspired me and let me know that birth can be done without intervention.

I don't think being scared of an epidural is enough. You need to be mentally aware and prepared. The thing that helped me the most was knowing that is was the best thing for me and my baby. Sure you can have a painfree labour, but at what cost? I made sure i knew all the risks of the pain relief options, so if i requested them i knew what could possibly happen. I have had two births, the first i was induced due to PE and had to have an epidural. I really didn't want one but i was at risk of having a stroke as my BP was very high so i agreed. My second was a drug free birth. I would, in a heartbeat, choose the drug free one. For many reasons it was a much more enjoyable and satisfying labour. I hope my next labour will be another drug free one.

My way of dealing with the negative comments was not to tell anyone of my intentions! ;-)

And what Polly says is spot on.....

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Believe in yourself and your body! This is what it was made for! YOU CAN DO IT!
And also remember, that necessary C-sections save lives. I thinks its important to not demonise intervention completely, because you could end up feeling awful after birth. Again focus on the fact that you have made another human. That is awesome. You will be holding your baby in your arms... YOU CAN DO IT!

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I forgot to add, i labored for a long time in hospital with my second birth and i was not pressured at all. I just made it clear i wanted a drug free birth and not to offer my anything at any stage. When i asked for gas at transition mid-contraction the midwife said to me "are you sure?" And i said- post contraction "no, no i don't want it" This conversation continued for a few contractions, but having her question me helped me, as soon as the cx finished i didn't want it anymore! :lol:

i had midwives that were pro drug free labours so I didn't have a problem with being pushed to hurry up etc.
However I was induced (I was 9 to 14 days overde... I had 2 due dates :rolleyes:) and constantly monitored with a CTG - i would have opted to be monitored weither i'd been induced or not so this didn't phase me the slightest.

From what I have heard from other woman, it is very disapointing when you go in with this amazing birth plan and it all goes to pot. Your baby hasn't read your birth plan, and may have plans of their own. So I opted out on writing a schedule for how Jacksons birth was going to go.

My advice would be to go in with an open mind, the difference between a drug free birth or a c/s could be the life of your baby. Go in not affraid of what your body is going to go thru, because it can handle it! Welcome each contraction as it's a step closer to your LO, and do what you need to do to get thru it. I found moaning to myself helpful & calming... even if it made me sounds like i was a cow XD

Also, take a comb with you and during contractions dig the teeth of it into the fleshy part just below your fingers as hard as you can ROFL. It's a pressure point for pain ;)

GL! xx

Thankyou so much for your responses ladies.
I am determined to birth my baby naturally (so long as bub isn't in danger), I guess I just need to work on my confidence & start telling myself my body can do this. I need to sit down with my OB and discuss my hopes. I don't feel like I really know him as the appointments i've had so far have been quick check the HB and off you go sort of appointments. It's hard to have confidence in someone when you haven't really had a chance to talk to them about your concerns and how they feel about natural birth/interventions/drugs/c-sections etc.
As for interventions like vaccuum/forceps I need to be a little more open minded, if it was medically necessary then I would still get to hold my baby straight away and enjoy that skin/skin contact & immediate BF etc.
So much to think about & consider but at the end of the day I guess I need to continue to prepare myself, expect pain, knowing it's good pain because it means bub is coming & also believe that this is what my body was made to do and that I can do it.
Thanks for the encouragement and advice ladies :D

Traveller and Polly have some great points, among others.

I have had 2 induced labours (both ARM and Synto) for medical reasons, and laboured drug free through both. BTW, I consider gas as a drug, but I know some don't.

You totally have to believe that your body is built for birthing and that millions before have done what you are doing, even though you feel like you are the only one at the time. Keep telling yourself that you are strong, healthy, willing to do this.

My midwives offered me drugs during both births, and my DH jumped in for me both times supporting my wishes and telling them that I wanted to do this by myself. Support is crucial. During my second labour (36 hour induction) I was starting to doubt my ability at the 33hr mark and nearly caved in. My DH was my rock and dealt with the midwives questions.

Hot water is wonderful - for my short period without being connected to an IV - the shower was bliss. I hate to think how much water I wasted in that blissful hour.

Try not to be scared. Being nervous is normal as you haven't experienced it before, but use this to your advantage and channel your energy into positive thoughts for you and your baby.

GL with it all.

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I made sure i knew all the risks of the pain relief options, so if i requested them i knew what could possibly happen. I have had two births, the first i was induced due to PE and had to have an epidural. I really didn't want one but i was at risk of having a stroke as my BP was very high so i agreed. My second was a drug free birth. I would, in a heartbeat, choose the drug free one. For many reasons it was a much more enjoyable and satisfying labour.

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Wow Junglemum that must have been scary for you & of course like you I would do what was medically necessary for myself and bub at the time. It's great that 2nd time round you got to have a drug free birth, was your BP high for that preg also? What does PE stand for?

Nellnell 36 hrs Wow well done! Did you feel at all like you were being pressured to hurry up? Was a CS ever suggested because you were labouring for such a long time? I want to be allowed to labour for as long as my body takes without feeling pressured to have a CS so long as bubs and I are not in danger & I guess I worry about wether or not the hospy might get tired of waiting if it takes a long time.

I'm subscribing so I can come back later and reply properly when I have more time...
Did i get a vaginal birth? yes.
Was it induced and assisted? Yes, induced, gas, epi, failed suction & forceps. So certainly not un-assisted nor drug-free
Would I do it again? in a heartbeat
What helped me not become a c-section? doula, doula, doula, doula, a million times over I cannot say it enough - words cannot express how truly brilliant she was in a team with my DH.

Back later with more!

pre-eclampsia, and nope no sign of it second time around. :) I was pretty disappointed first time around, but knowing that it was necessary to ensure the safety of my and bub i was at peace with it all, but the second labour was by far better. :)

i noticed you're in melbourne, i did a fantastic workshop with Rhea Dempsy called transforming pain in labour. It was fantastic, more-so for DH than i. I was pretty well informed, but it really helped bring DH onto the same page and understand my desire for a drug free birth. It made him a rock solid support person.

For me, the two main things that got me through my labour, were the skills i put to use after reading Birth Skills (this book was my BIBLE :)!) - and the 2nd most important thing was that i had Doula. she kept me focused and kept reminding that my body could do this and that all the pain i was feeling was bringing me closer to meeting my DD. I cannot recommend enough that if you can afford it, a Doula makes a huge difference.

I had a 7 hour induced labour (with gels only) no drugs, no tearing, no further assistance. I pushed for nearly 2 hrs and not once did my ob or any other person in the room mention a CS or assisted delivery and i ASKED about it! - my ob said there was no need for a cs as i was doing well and DD would be here before i knew it :)

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i noticed you're in melbourne, i did a fantastic workshop with Rhea Dempsy called transforming pain in labour. It was fantastic, more-so for DH than i. I was pretty well informed, but it really helped bring DH onto the same page and understand my desire for a drug free birth. It made him a rock solid support person.

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Yes I am in Melbourne :D Thanks Junglemum I will google her, thankyou again for your responses today :D

I can also HIGHLY recommend attending a calmbirth course. DH and I have done one this pregnancy and we BOTH said how much we wished we had of done one the first time around. it explains the origins of the pain we feel in labour, what the sensations are and how we can work with the contractions, use them as our 'friend' (as opposed to something to anticipate with fear) that is helping to bring our baby into the world.

the techniques they teach you are amazing for reducing stress and maintaining healthy breathing (= oxygen = minimisation of stress = lessening of pain as muscles are open and working to full capacity itms). went to a great one here in Melb if you are interested.

simple little things that i used last time that helped me were to have 'reminders' around the room of why i was there...sometimes in the heat of the moment you can really lose focus, so i would fix my gaze on her little nightie during intense moments and on the bassinette that she would soon be lying in. this helped heaps in giving my mind something to think about while my body got on with the job and reminded me of why i was there.

if it's possible, like the others have mentioned try to labour at home for as long as possible. hospitals are very vigilant about dialation and if you can get there with good dialation (ie already in established labour) you are well on the way to getting less intervention that seeks to 'hurry' the process up.

also a good idea is to read up on optimal fetal positioning. many long labours that end up with intervention are due to bubby being in an awkward position (ie posterior). it is also something that many hospitals dont place much emphasis on in antenatal classes but is important as it can impact on the way labour progresses. for example it can make labour a more intense experience and also means that dialation is generally slower as bubby doesnt engage as 'neatly' on the cervix. also generally posterior labours (especially in first time labours) have a 'latent' phase around the time one would expect transition (so around the 7-9cm mark). this means that dialation really really slows down as the baby attempts to turn around and come out in a more traditional face down position. this is where hospitals can get a bit worried as you suddenly arent progressing at the same rate so they may offer to break your waters or, give pitocin to speed things back up again. not great when bubby is not in a good position. sometimes just being aware of what position bubby is in is enough of a helping hand to help you cope during labour. There are also some great strategies to help a posterior baby move to a LOA position before birth that i reckon are good to check out when the time comes (they recommend taking notice of posture and lying and sitting positions for this reason from 30 weeks onwards). I *think* spinning babies has some info, but google should come up with some good strategies...basically slouching back with your pelvis tilted back is a no no LOL!

sorry i have blabbered! but found this all so fascinating when i was doing my calmbirth course and attended an OFP session (i am planning a homebirth so really wanna avoid any extra hours and intense labour pains :rofl:)

HTH

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but having an OB as your main carer is probably the biggest thing in your way of having anatural birth. I am probably going to be shot down in flames for saying this, but I am only speaking from my experience here, and my journey has certainly been one of discovery.

When pregnant with my first, I saw an OB because I initially considered birth a life-and-death thing, and thought "If I am prepared to spend $2000 on wine in a year, then I am certainly not going to spend less on mine and my baby's life!" My DH thought I was insane - "Women have been having babies without OBs for years, we wouldn't have made it as a species if it was so dangerous", he said. But he went along with it. Then I read more and more about natural birth and got to know about the stuff on Bellybelly. And I went to a presentation by Rhea Dempsey on natural birth, and how the entire hospital system actually works against women in their quest for a natural birth. So I read and read and thought and thought and prepared myself for doing battle with the "system". At the back of my mind I was still terrified of birth and what it might bring.

My waters broke the day before my due date. My OB wanted to admit me right away with the promise of an induction in the morning. It took me saying, three times, that I wanted to labour at home, before he "let me" go home. That was a critical moment, because I am convinced if I had've stayed I would have ended up with a c-section. As it was, I laboured at home and didn't come to hospital til I was 9cm dilated (quite an achievement, in hindsight, as my son was in persistent posterior position right to the end). Luckily for me my OB was relatively hands off - after a synto drip after transition, an episiotomy and a managed third stage I pushed out my 3.9kg boy (while lying on my back!) without forceps or vaccum assistance. Sure I had stitches but I felt on top of the world - I could do anything! I dropped my private health insurance within a month - my next birth would be in a birth centre, because I could do it!

When I was pregnant with my second, I began reassessing my first birth. I distinctly recall getting quite annoyed with our own Bellbelly Kelly for daring to suggest that my first birth was not a "natural" one, but over time I came to see that it wasn't, and that there was a better way to do things. Like in the laxative ads, there is a "better kind of normal" LOL! I did a hypnobirth class and spent a lot of time delaing with my fear around birth, and my developing guilt - how could I have denied my first son good birth? How was it fair that my second child would be born in such a different way? Well, my second was born in a birth centre, with nary a vaginal exam in sight, completely au naturale. THAT was a good birth.

And now on the precipice of my third birth, I am booked in to the Sunshine Hospital homebirth program. I am planning on this being the "best" in a "good, better, best" progression of births. Sure there are still fears, concerns, worries - but it is oh so different now.

So after that great long ramble, what am I trying to say? I am not saying ditch your OB and run for the hills, as some would, because I think that a woman needs to approach and accept each birth with whatever is in her heart at that moment. Learn, read, worry, fret, rejoice, and do what you can to make this birth what you want it to be. But do not fear what it will become. It may be the first of many or your one and only. It may be your perfect birth or like my first, only the start of your journey of self discovery as a mother and life-giving goddess. As someone said "birth is about more than having a baby – it is about becoming a mother."

Here are my thoughts, based on my own first experience, and as I face my second birth.
My first I went private, with an OB. I was induced (unnecessarily I believe) at 42 weeks. Ended up with a forceps delivery as my DS was in distress. I was incredibly lucky to avoid a caesar.

While we cannot plan for everything, and sometimes life throws us curve balls that no amount of preparation can get us past, I do believe that the choices we make are important.
I chose an OB. I didn't need one. I agreed to an induction. I didn't need it. I didnt' get the natural birth I wanted, but I pretty much got the birth I chose because nothing really came up to force these choices. If I'd had some complication that necessitated an induction, for example, and my labour & birth had been exactly the same, I don't think I'd feel so disappointed. In fact I'd probably feel pretty good about it all!

So all I can do now is look forward and make different choices. I'm going through midwifery care this time and plannign for a homebirth. I'm choosing a natural birth this time. I know it still might not happen, but it's probably far more likely this time round.

Speaking more specifically, things that helped me during labour
-Understanding the process was critical. It helped me to understand why I didn't want drugs. Why I needed to move and stay upright. And so on.
-Hypnobirthing techniques to focus my mind and to relax between contractions.
-Moving and vocalising during contractions.
-Doula & partner on same page as me

Another great book that I highly recommend is New Active Birth. Well worth obtaining a copy :)

I think being informed was what helped me through my natural labour and birth the most. I recommend reading "Creating you birth plan" by Marsden Wagner. Learn about each intervention, why and how it's done and how it will affect you and the baby. Identify what is important to you and go from there. I didn't so much write a birth plan, but birth preferences. If induction was necessary, I decided under what circumstances I was happy to do so and also how I preferred it to be done. In educating myself, I made any decisions before hand rather than having to weigh up benefits and risks etc on the spot while in labour.

Birth attendants are also important. I gave birth in the delivery suite and got so lucky with the midwife I had (in the delivery suite you get whoever is on when you get there). She read my birth preferences and discussed any points of concern with me. She especially confirmed that I wished for a drug-free birth and warned me that she would hold me to it. If I asked for drugs, she was not going to go running for them straight away. I had a very quick labour (I went from 2cm to delivered in 2 hours 45 minutes) so there probably wasn't time for pain relief anyway. But everytime I said I couldn't do it, my midwife would just say 'yes you can, this is what your body is meant to do'. I kept repeating that to myself and that got me through the worst moments.

You won't know what it'll be like until it happens. Educating yourself and preparing for many possible scenarios will give you the best chance of having the birth you want. Just remember though that the aim is to walk out of hospital with your baby in your arms, not to have the 'perfect birth'.

Good luck.

Sounds like the best thing I can do is learn as much as I can, lot's of research, have my plan but also be open to changing it if an unexpected emergency arises.
Sticking to my guns when it comes to intervention if there is no medical necessity for it and having my husband well prepared also so that he can speak up during labour if i'm unable to.
I am going to do some more research on interventions, inductions etc as I really do want my body to be allowed to labour and birth naturally.
Can I be pressured by my OB or the Hospy to do something I don't want to do? Are they likely to tell you there is a risk to your baby just to get you to do something?

I think "Creating you birth plan" would be a good book for you. It discusses the reasons for interventions, both real and not so real. For example, a 'big baby' is sometimes a reason for a c-section, but it is possible to give birth to a big baby naturally once you understand how birth works and positions to optimise the pelvic outlet.

I highly doubt your OB and hospital would out and out lie about risks, but if you are well informed then they can't scare you into doing something you don't want to do. Having someone like a doula who can advocate for you might be a good idea too. Husbands aren't necessarily the best people to be doing that.

Another thing I forgot to mention earlier is to not be frightened of the pain. Pain is the body's way of telling you what is going on.

Unfortunately Babyluv, yes they can and do.

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Can I be pressured by my OB or the Hospy to do something I don't want to do? Are they likely to tell you there is a risk to your baby just to get you to do something?

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Yep! That is why it is important to read up and be confident in what you want, what you don't want and why you want these things, and where you are willing to compromise.

i agree, that can definitely happen (being pressured by the hosp/obs that is). I think the other thing that can't be underestimated and this is where a doula or caregiver (carer in an emotional sense, i.e. not your midwife) becomes really important - during labour you're very inwardly focussed, you have to be - amazing things are happening in your body. But this can be really disconcerting for partners. They've been planning and working with you and suddenly you're away (mentally) in this other place. When a hospital/doctor starts to pressure you, well you mightn't pay much attention but your partner sure does. And remember, they haven't been there before - they don't REALLY know what's going to happen/what's normal/what's not. For them, it can seem a very long time seeing their beloved in pain... and what do males often do in this situation? They try to solve (well mine does anyway :rofl:). So i'm not saying that your hubby won't stand up for what you want, I'm sure he will - but if he was faced by a dr saying your bub was at risk if he doesn't act? what then? that's a tough place to be. My doula was the one who would slow it down, ask the questions - is this urgent, can we discuss for 5 mins etc.

One phrase my doula said to me at one stage was "he just looked at me with these puppy dog eyes" - my DH had a moment(s) where he was lost. Yes we'd planned, asked questions, informed ourselves - but it is a huge experience. For us, the fact my doula was strong and positive for both of us was invaluable. a) she'd seen it before (and done it herself before), b) she was there 100% for me - our partners love us SO much that it can be difficult to sit back and let their loved one do all the work - someone who doesn't actually have the same emotional investment brings a different perspective and c) in a 12 hour labour I crossed 3 shifts of midwives (all of whom I'd never met before), we didn't want to have to educate every new one! Yes we had a birth plan, but having two folks there advocating for me was jolly handy - it's a long day in the office for DH and doula/caregiver no matter how long or short your labour, but to have consistent caregivers there who are emotionally engaged with you for you is best gift you can ever give yourself.

Another story that always made me think was about a lady who went in with a birth plan which said no pain relief. The well-meaning midwife kept coming in and saying "oh I think you need something to help you with the pain". The doula kept saying "I think you're doing great, you can do this, how do you feel?". It makes a big difference the messages we're hearing and I think there are definitely cases where pressure can wear you down (and lets face it, in labour there's already plenty of pressure!).

I won't go into the details of my birth again (given above) but it's interesting, in reading other posts - i though oh gosh, i guess mine wasn't a natural birth then. But to me, considered/questioned/researched/EMPOWERED... it was the right birth for me. And at the end of the day I think that's the best possible birth to get. I have a friend who "technically" had a very similar birth - but hers was an unexpected induction, she didn't find herself able to use the skills from her hypnobirthing course and she is still very traumatised by it. Some of the other posts have said open yourself to all sorts of options, and I have to say I totally agree. Births are hard to plan, they're not always in your control - but I guess it's the good old change what you can change, accept what you can't change. That way, you will OWN your birth, and whatever that looks like, it will be wonderful.

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i agree, that can definitely happen (being pressured by the hosp/obs that is). I think the other thing that can't be underestimated and this is where a doula or caregiver (carer in an emotional sense, i.e. not your midwife) becomes really important - during labour you're very inwardly focussed, you have to be - amazing things are happening in your body. But this can be really disconcerting for partners. They've been planning and working with you and suddenly you're away (mentally) in this other place. When a hospital/doctor starts to pressure you, well you mightn't pay much attention but your partner sure does. And remember, they haven't been there before - they don't REALLY know what's going to happen/what's normal/what's not. For them, it can seem a very long time seeing their beloved in pain... and what do males often do in this situation? They try to solve (well mine does anyway :rofl:). So i'm not saying that your hubby won't stand up for what you want, I'm sure he will - but if he was faced by a dr saying your bub was at risk if he doesn't act? what then? that's a tough place to be. My doula was the one who would slow it down, ask the questions - is this urgent, can we discuss for 5 mins etc.

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:yeahthat:


And another thing, be sure to discuss any birth plans/options with your OB well in advance. You'll get a feel for how likely they'll be to push you to do something you don't want. If you can't reach agreement, perhaps he/she isn't the right caregiver for you.

Hi, :)

I guess before going in to labour I don't even think of drugs as an option for me, just because I feel better about not having them and we were set up to birth babies, so I try to just go with the flow. In saying that, I do have fairly short labours (under 3 hours) As far as I know, no-one can make you have pethadine or an epidural, so you should feel you have that much control at least.

If baby or myself were in danger and my Ob/carer said I needed a C-section or something else, I would trust her judgement, because I have complete faith in her. I did a bit of research before I went with her and she is very pro-natural delivery and active labour.

A calmbirth class is really helpful. I had midwife care first time and Ob 2nd and both have been positive experiences with no drugs or restriction on what positions I could deliver in etc.. Babies were both over 9lb and delivered without forceps or episiotomy etc..

Learn all that you can and write down any questions to ask your Ob before each appt. but also trust in yourself and be aware that you can get overloaded with info and other peoples negative experiences.

Hi there,

I was in a similar frame of mind to you when pregnant with DS1 ... I very much wanted a natural, drug-free birth free of intervention. I ultimately came to the conclusion that I had to educate myself about how I could achieve my aim. Fortunately I've had two drug-free, natural births free of intervention. My births weren't overly long and were without complication, with both boys head down, bum up. I'm possibly one of the "lucky" ones to achieve what I wanted, but I think my confidence in my abilities, my determination that I wouldn't have any drugs and my understanding of what my body was doing helped enormously. And TBH ... one of my best mates birthed her bubs drug-free and I thought "if she can do it, I can too :p).

How I did it ...
* Lots of reading up about the birth process, what happens to your body in all stages
* Hypnobirthing course - pure gold, as far as I'm concerned
* Ensured my DH understood totally what I wanted and was supportive (he was)
* Acupuncture weekly for 2-3 months prior to birth - I'm convinced this helped me during my birthings. DH also gave me pressure-point massage (albeit he's no masseuse - spl?) which complemented acupuncture.
* Made sure my Ob knew exactly what I wanted for my birth
* TRUSTED MYSELF and my body 110pc. I just knew I could and would do it. When other mothers pooh-poohed me for saying I wanted to do it drug-free (cos "that's what drugs are for"!!I) I wouldn't get ticked off - I just smiled nicely and said "well, whatever, but I'm going to do this MY way".

I agree that you have to be a realist about the birthing process though - sometimes there are hiccups and your birth may take a different turn to what you expected. Personally I came to an "understanding" with myself prior to my births that if I didn't have my drug-free, natural births - ie, an unexpected medical emergency - then that would be ok to. I didn't want to set myself up for a mental fall if my natural birth plans came to a spectacular end. Obviously your safety and that of your baby is paramount.

I had a terrific Ob who supported my birthing intentions - particularly so when I was pg with DS2, I guess because I'd "proved myself". But I do agree that in the throws of birthing, medical staff can have a huge impact on you. For arguments sake, my DS1's heartbeat was dropping off - lower than normal - during the final phases of my contractions. Fortunately by that stage I was 9-10cm and ready to push, and within half an hour he was born. However I guess if I wasn't at that stage, or my pushing phase was considerably slower it could have ended differently. Who knows? Anyway, the midwife (not the best in the word unfortunately) started making comments that the cord could be around the baby's neck (it wasn't). If I wasn't so inward focused and certain that I WOULD have my natural birth (I wasn't in the mood to argue ;)) then I might've become anxious/afraid etc. Obviously fair comments for her to make, but I'm just highlighting that words etc during your labour can cause a reaction in the birthing parents. We felt she should have kept her remarks to herself, and later my DH actually told her and another midwife to take a conversation outside our birthing room when they started waffling on about another birth in front of us. Won him big brownie points!

Main thing for me - trust yourself and your body and have a good support partner during your birth. You can do it ... trust me. My boys' births were the most empowered moments of my life.

Sorry I haven't read through the whole thread (short of time tonight!), but I have two dot points...

• R..E..L..A..X
• The Pink Kit

If you can learn to consciously relax your muscles when a contractions starts, they are much less severe and easier to bear... that's how I got through (I only had gas that I wasn't sure was turned on!)

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Nellnell 36 hrs Wow well done! Did you feel at all like you were being pressured to hurry up? Was a CS ever suggested because you were labouring for such a long time? I want to be allowed to labour for as long as my body takes without feeling pressured to have a CS so long as bubs and I are not in danger & I guess I worry about wether or not the hospy might get tired of waiting if it takes a long time.

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Can't deny that I felt the pressure but I put the pressure on myself, not so much doctor imposed. I birthed in a wonderful country hospital which has an Active birth approach. My doc was a GP but very well trained in obstetrics. He wasn't concerned about the length of time, more so the pressure on bub, so I was constantly monitored (which I hated) but I'd rather be monitored than have a CS. He told me we would review things at the 48hr mark. I'm probably pretty lucky I was in that situation otherwise I might have ended up with a CS a lot sooner. I suppose the best thing you could do is stay home for the max time you can. That way the hospital won't even know that you are in labour (if you dont tell them you're in labour) and they won't pressure you with time constraints.

hun, i have some papers on accupunture pressure points during labour around here somewhere... i'm more than happy to send you a copy :)

I ended up with an emergency c/s but until that time that it became necessary (at full dilation, when baby's heart rate kept dipping and wouldn't come back up, which we later found out was due to a full knot in her cord) I laboured with a posterior bub entirely drug free and I found it easy.

Like the pp's we did the calmbirth course, and I think that was my main tool in my drug free labour. It helped to understand what would happen, but above all it helped a skeptical DH understand what I was aiming for, why, and gave him the confidence that I could achieve it too. Having this level of support made me much more confident in myself. The breathing techniques were great, I used them throughout, and even when intervention became necessary it was the breathing techniques along with a sense of calm that they brought which saw me through the spinal block.

I also used accupressure points - my fantastic acupuncturist put tiny studs in the main points for me as well as educating my DH, my mum (who was also attending the labour) and i which points to use for what.

Whilst I was at home (up until 7cm) I laboured on the fit ball and in the shower.

I hired a TENS machine which I was strapped up to throughout most of my labour, and I only realised how much it had been helping me when I had to take it off to go into theatre.

I have a homeopathic kit made up for me by a naturopath with instructions of what to use when. I can't remember which herbs I used in the end, but I know that 2 were particularly instrumental in my labour. I had an instruction sheet that my DH and mum were able to refer to to identify the correct treatment for my labour as it evolved.

Being my first child, and given I had some complications that required me to finish work early, I was able to dedicate plenty of time making sure I was relaxed when I went into labour. I was having regular massage, acupuncture, practicing calmbirth breathing daily, and I had my mum staying with me to help out which allowed me to focus on what I needed to be prepared.

I was so relaxed using the techniques I did that DH didn't actually believe I was in labour for the first 4 or 5 hours!

When the time came that the c/s was required, with all the preparation I'd done beforehand, I had full and total belief that the right thing was happening, whereas I think if I hadn't done all the prep I had I would've felt disappointed with the final outcome, not to mention petrified of having the c/s. I look back on my birth I feel proud of myself and my DH and satisfied that I achieved my wishes within the constrains of my situation.

GL with the rest of your pregnancy and with achieving the labour you desire. Have faith in yourself, you're amazing, and don't forget it!