Is there anyone else out there.....

who is happy to let their pre-schoolers play without structured activities? I keep seeing all these people who spend time on teaching their 15 month olds how to write and read and do all these things that I never knew a 15 month old needed to do. I know I am a good mother. My daughters are well behaved, they are in the 'normal' development range and have amazing imaginations. But my 2.5 year old doesn't hold a pencil the right way.....and I'm ok with that. I have no desire to teach her the right way to hold a pencil just yet. She doesn't need to hold one properly yet.....does she???? Does this attitude make me a below par mother in today's society? I don't have a problem with anyone who wants to do the structured activities, so please don't take offence. I guess I just want to know if I'm the only one who feels this way........

Um... yeah. You're not alone.
DS is too busy running around with his imaginary friends and stuff for me to do anything like that.

I didn't do structured activities either.

I dont do anything structured!!

DS1 brings me a book if he wants it, or if he is playing with blocks we will do it together etc but nothing set.

Times I have set him up to draw or play doh he is not at all interested and wants down 5 mins after I set him up.

nothing structured here either, and my kids are very happy little monsters.
sometimes we'll do craft activities etc, but only whilst they're interested, i don't push anything onto them.
we spend a lot of time outside, i'm the mum who takes her kids out to see floods, play in the rain and mud, go walking through riverbeds etc. to me those things are the free, natural things that sparks their desire to learn more about the environment that we live in, but mostly just to have a $hiteload of fun, get dirty etc.
we read lots of books, sing lots of songs, and have heaps of fun.
sometimes i wonder if i should be doing more to extend their learning, but hey, you're a kid for such a short time, i want my kids to enjoy it.

Our day is unstructured when we play at home, they play together and play with whatever they like (eg, dolls house, my little pony's, duplo, wooden toys, J (nearly 4) comes and asks me when she wants to do craft, or I suggest it or cooking for something different. They draw when they want to, they ask me to read to them whenever they want to. J has Kinder 2 days a week and a dance class on Thurs and swimming Fridays so I like it to be unstructured when shes at home.

:

---

sometimes i wonder if i should be doing more to extend their learning, but hey, you're a kid for such a short time, i want my kids to enjoy it.

---

exactly what I think boobaloo, but then sometimes some people make me feel like I'm disadvantaging my girls by taking this road.....

:

---

, but then sometimes some people make me feel like I'm disadvantaging my girls by taking this road.....

---

everyone is always going to have an opinion on how you should properly raise a child, but as long as i know that my children are happy, healthy and know that they are the most important people in my world, then i know that i will produce happy, well balanced adults. you have a lifetime to act like you have a rod up your ass, right now, i want them to be free and natural.

Love it boobaloo. Exactly how I feel. Thanks x

:

---

Love it boobaloo. Exactly how I feel. Thanks x

---

anytime darl, you want bummy-mummy advice, you know where to come ;)

:

---

everyone is always going to have an opinion on how you should properly raise a child, but as long as i know that my children are happy, healthy and know that they are the most important people in my world, then i know that i will produce happy, well balanced adults. you have a lifetime to act like you have a rod up your ass, right now, i want them to be free and natural.

---

Hehe so true

i think there comes a time when they want to do more structured learning, but at 15 months and 2.5 i dont think it neccessary unless they are wanting. my 3.8 yr old just today came out and wrote her name all by herself, then spent another 30 mins or so writing etc.. for fun. we ve also introduced some basic maths, but again its fun and during playtime, its not structured

im the same i have tried sitting boy oldest down to do things but is happy to go off and do as he feels! we tried to teach him words, well he speaks alot and has learnt to sing and count to 12 and his abc from his tv channel nick jr, i was amazed at how we been trying to teach him, and yet he sits down watches a show repeats what they say! i try to take them to places of interest like last trip was the zoo they had a ball, next trip is to the aquarium. i read bedtime stories and get him to help me around the house like pick up washing and put in basket, i make alot of little games out of household chores lol. DS2 he's just over 1 no way is he ready for certain things and i dont push him he has taken great steps recently and he just like to do things aswell in his own time. kids grow up too quickly and i dont want to take their fun away they have a ball each and every day their never bored!

We definitely have no structured play and I do not believe stuctured play is appropriate at this young age. Play should be developmentally approrpriate for the age but defiitely not structured below the age of 4.

I expose DD to things like drawing (actually more like scribbling and she holds her crayon with a fist grip but you know what, I dont care! She is 16mths and is not going to write like this when she is older).I let her play with chalk (which she tends to put in her mouth and prefers to eat it). We sing songs (even if they are Beyonce and not the usual nursery rhymes although we do sing nursery rhymes when mummy can remember them). We dance like noboy's watching (because hey, nobody is watching). We watch tv (sometimes Play School, sometimes Bold and the Beautiful). We (DD) unpacks cupboards and drawers and then we pack them back up afterwards. We play with friends and run around at the park. We cuddle and play with the dogs.

None of it is structured but DD is learning all the time. I am a teacher and I know that the best thing for my 16mth old to do is to play and have freedom to explore cause and affect (with supervision of course).

Let them be children. They have 13 years of formal schooling ahead of them where they will have PLENTY of structure!.

By the way I do want to add that I think it is important to begin to develop structured activities in the year before starting school but in small ways so as to prepare the for a very structured environment.

No structure here either, mostly we play, i make playdough, we paint, make cubby houses, dress up, swing in the hammock, jump on the tramp, walk to the pool or the market, or sit on the couch and watch the TV! (When DD1 draws, which she loves to do, i do show her how to hold the pencil. :p ) We do read a lot of books, but only becasue they love it, it's not like i tie them down and make them. :lol: It's great to read there are others out there just letting their kids play. We are very isolated and don't have access to structured activities like dancing, swimming or whatever. I sometimes wonder if i am giving them the best start by not having access to those kinds of things and it is reassuring to know other kids are doing just the same as us.

Meh, they've got a whole life full of structured activities to look forward to.
When I look back at my childhood my happiest memories aren't the times my mother tried teaching me Latin. It's mucking around at the dam, making mud pies and so on. I think that too many people underestimate the value of time spent doing 'nothing'. Children learn all sorts of stuff through unstructured play and it's possibly stuff that we wouldn't even think of teaching them. Not only are they learning but the value of happy memories is pretty much impossible to quantify.
If anyone bugs you just tell them that you're unschooling and slow parenting your children :p

Slow parenting, love it.

Living in a developing nation, the national kids here don't have toys. A toy is a nut or and old wheel on the end of a long stick. That is something that has definitely changed since we got here, the kids don't play with toys much. Probably because i am embarrassed that we have so much compared to most people so have given most of their toys away. :lol:. We do have a play kitchen i got made, and a tricycle and a tramp, but other than that not a lot of toy box kind of toys.

:

---

Meh, they've got a whole life full of structured activities to look forward to.
When I look back at my childhood my happiest memories aren't the times my mother tried teaching me Latin. It's mucking around at the dam, making mud pies and so on. I think that too many people underestimate the value of time spent doing 'nothing'. Children learn all sorts of stuff through unstructured play and it's possibly stuff that we wouldn't even think of teaching them. Not only are they learning but the value of happy memories is pretty much impossible to quantify.
If anyone bugs you just tell them that you're unschooling and slow parenting your children :p

---

Thanks onyx. My fav memories are of playing with my sisters in the backyard and cooking with my mum. I don't remember her teaching me as such, just loving me and giving me lots of cuddles. All my formal learning was done at school and I didn't turn out below average in intelligence. I want my girls to appreciate being a kid.
It's so nice to hear other people are thinking the along the same lines as me. Thanks :)

I wouldn't say we have any structure to our days at home - we go to gymnastics, playgroup, the library and Zumba lol. But there are times when i initiate activities with her. For instance, i'll note that she is taking an interest in saying the days of the week - i'll choose a story that focuses on days of the week - or shapes - we'll do a shape matching puzzle. She's starting to talk about numbers, so we build with blocks and count them, or again read stories with numbers in them. So they're not structured as such, but i have initiated them, and we always have fun.

I don't do structure either. We do playdough, craft, art and read a million books if DD asks but mostly we just play, dance and sing. I never plan ahead of time. I have never bothered to teach counting (on purpose) but DD1 has picked it up and she sings the alphabet though I am sure she has no idea what she is singing. I also talk to her a lot because it is giving her the vocabulary to express herself. Last week she came out with 'Mummy, I am going to make faces' and she made a sad, happy, angry, surprised, excited, sleepy and sick face. I never taught her that, but we do talk a lot about feelings.

I find it funny going to playgroup - they do craft there and I let my kids do whatever they want. They stick things down however they land so their pictures and collages are always a bit overlapping, disorientated and look like they were made by a toddler (which I loooove by the way). The other mums sit with their toddlers and basically do their craft for them. Everything gets stuck down perfectly and all the craft end up looking like perfect replicas of the example. I don't even bother labelling the ones my kids do, it is pretty obvious compared to the others because my kids do it themselves. DH has them stuck all over his office wall at work and I think that's what being a kid is about.

I have focused more on self care and that is probably the only intentional teaching I do. I have been trying to teach DD1 how to pack her own bag when we go out, take her lid off her lunch box and put it back on, put on her own hat and shoes, pull up her undies after she uses the toilet and just basic skills I think will make life easier for her next year when she starts kindy. I figure that she goes to kindy and school to learn how to write, read and do maths and the teachers there are qualified to teach her so unless she wants to do it, I have just tried to focus on getting her independent to the point that she will cope away from me. I think if she can confidentally care for herself in those ways, it will be easier for her to go to kindy.

hehe as a child i had my kitty's! their lots of photos of me with a cat! i remember walking about feeding my animals out the backyard in my wellies! DS 1 is the same with wellies lol, and both boys loves their animals poor kitten gets her fur pulled all ways, my favourite toy when i was little was my collection of plastic animals i played with them for hours and days! DS 1 loves match box cars, spends hours making car noises and pushing them about, DS 2 well he loves his feet lol, their naughty feet get up to mischief alot specially with the surround sound amp lol. oh i love them dearly, they always make me laugh and smile everyday, i been told i should put oldest in a play group or day care but i would miss him too much! being a SAHM has been so rewarding, and kids themselves learn by themselves i love watching them trying to figure things out, like opening things, DS1 is very good at that lol!

Nothing structured with my 15 month old here either! She plays, eats, we read, and then she plays again. Lately she hasn't even wanted to play with me, crawls off, total attitude of "You're so not cool mum". Hehehe. We talk a lot and point out pictures in her books and say what each thing is.

When I was DD's age, my mum was pregnant with my brother and she said as her pregnancy went on, it got really hot (he was born 82, around Ash Wednesday time) and all she could do was sit with her feet in buckets of water and ice or lie on her bed. She said that I'd sit beside her with books and "read". I rekon I turned out okay, if I do say so myself!!

I think you're a good mum MS :)

I am the same.. I let my kids play pretty much what they want. If they want to do drawing I set them up with pencils and paper. Sometimes I will sit with them. If my Ds3 asks me to help write something I will help but generally he seems to work it out for himself..

Do you mean structured as in planned? What do they say... best laid plans always go astray! Most things we do at home (when I am home and not at work :( sigh...) are spontaneous and follow on with what she's doing... having a big colouring session... lets get the paint out and see if she's interested. She's spending loads of time playing pretend with her babies so we've got some 'props' and are sneakily teaching her some dressing skills by encouraging her to dress her baby (hehehehe) with zips, press-studs etc. Buttons are a bit beyond her at the moment but we'll get there hehe.

But if you mean do we wake up and say "today we'll do this this and this"... then no. Anything that seems 'teachy' happens incidentally, and at her initiation anyway. Hang on let me find the best poem ever...... I have it in my professional portfolio to remind me of the important things ;)

I tried to teach my child with books;
He gave me only puzzled looks.
I tried to teach my child with words;
They passed by him often unheard.
Despairingly, I turned aside
"How shall I teach this child," I cried?
Into my hand he put the key,
"Come," he said, "And play with me".
-Anon

:

---

I tried to teach my child with books;
He gave me only puzzled looks.
I tried to teach my child with words;
They passed by him often unheard.
Despairingly, I turned aside
"How shall I teach this child," I cried?
Into my hand he put the key,
"Come," he said, "And play with me".
-Anon

---

That is my parenting philosophy! Fantastic little poem!! Thank you for sharing Leasha :)

By structured, I mean teachy you must do this, you must do that. Now we will do this today, now we will do that. I just want my girls to play! They learn plenty. I think that by watching me at home, they are learning vital life skills, like cooking, washing clothes etc. They help me and I show them how to do things, but I don't make it an activity iykwim? It's nice to know I'm not the only one with this philosophy in this day and age :)

:

---

By structured, I mean teachy you must do this, you must do that. Now we will do this today, now we will do that. I just want my girls to play!

---

Wowsers! IMO if people are 'structuring' their 15 month olds like that, than I would be thinking they are either extremely competitive people and/or control freaks trying to live their lives through their children... Just my opinion ;)

We used to have a structured routine for dd1 when she was in a brace but that was because she needed the brace free time and it had to be used to strengthen her legs etc, this was from 8 weeks to 12 months and it took a little bit of time to break her free from the routines but now we follow her cues - cooking, play dough drawing or just cuddles.

OMG no you are not alone. (with my older kids) yes we read books, we did drawings & writing etc but at their pace, what they wanted to do, how they wanted to do it...

I think it teaches them independence & creativity too. The last thing I want is to teach my kid that they 'must' do it this way you know? Part of learning is being independent & indidvidual IMO.

:

---

everyone is always going to have an opinion on how you should properly raise a child, but as long as i know that my children are happy, healthy and know that they are the most important people in my world, then i know that i will produce happy, well balanced adults. you have a lifetime to act like you have a rod up your ass, right now, i want them to be free and natural.

---

:clap: AWESOME boobaloo!