The birth of my beautiful baby boy
Background...
DD was born at 39+5wks, a healthy 3.7kg, after I endured some 30 hrs of labour. It was all very slowly slowly with her, everything continued to progress but just at a slower rate. There was never any talk of assistance until it appeared she was a bit stuck - an episiotomy and vacuum extraction followed. At the time she was born I seriously thought I was going to be in labour forever - she was born at 5.45am on a Wednesday and the period-backache had started 10pm Monday!
This was at a private hospital with an Obs in Melbourne, couldn't fault it. They didn't offer me any pain relief (had to ask to try the gas) and they were pro-active birth and suggested different positions for me to try etc. As I said above I was able to labour in relative peace and there was no pressure of being on a "clock" or anything.
Fast forward to Oct/Nov 2009...
New bubs is conceived and DH and I book in again with our Obs and obtain the forms for the private hospital.
Dec 2009 - we hear about the changes to the Medicare safety net and after lots of research (on our own, no one at Medicare could tell us what was changing, nor could my Obs) we uncover some info and work out it is going to cost us about 3k out of pocket to have our bubs at the private hospital. We cancel the Obs, tear up the hospital forms and ring the Family Birth Centre at the Mercy for Women Hospital in Heidelberg. Through some stroke of luck, they are not full yet for July and we are able to book in.
We start our care at the FBC and all goes well. We see a variety of midwives and some we love, some not so much! One in particular writes something very odd in my Maternity record (the copy that we take home) and DH and I decide that if she is on duty when I go into labour, we will politely request someone else.
I had assumed this bubs would arrive earlier than his sister - I had been feeling like things were happening around 37wks and my appointment with the MW seemed to indicate that it wouldn't be long. Of course, how can they know that? Bubs decides he is not going to come out early... my EDD approaches, I get cranky and decide to do something about it.
I start acupuncture and request a stretch and sweep at 39+4wks. The MW agrees but it does nothing. More acupuncture, more walking, more DTD (I wore poor DH out :lol: )... At 40+4wks I return for another S&S, the MW tells me to come in again in two days (a day before 41wks) for another S&S as two in 48hrs can really get things moving. I return two days later as instructed only to have a different MW, who tells me she is not going to do the S&S as there is no point, I've already had two and they were "clearly ineffective". She tells me to "just be patient". :wall:
At which I ask "Well then why did I bother to come in today?" and burst into tears. Felt so embarassed to be crying in front of mean MW, but couldn't help it. They checked me out (all fine, no real reason to be there except for the non-existent S&S), I pull it together, drive home, call DH in tears again, crash on the couch for a while. Tell DH that it was the same MW that we have already decided we don't like... of course! I jump on BB and have a big vent, everyone is fantastic (of course!) and a few tell me that a big emotional outpouring can sometimes trigger labour... this perks me up a bit but I am still down.
Tomorrow is one week past EDD and I am not a happy camper.
Pick up DD from IL's house, head home and flake in bed. Still feel like nothing is happening and I am going to be pg forever. Forgo DTD and cuddle with DH instead, feeling miserable.
3am - wake up to strange pain in front of my belly. Try to remember if this is what contractions feel like? Can't remember but assume it is pre-labour and go back to sleep.
3.20am - wake up to another pain in belly. Decide it is contractions but going to be here a while if they are only 20mins apart, so take some panadol and try to sleep.
3.25am - wake up to another pain. Interesting, I think. Try to go back to sleep but...
3.30am - another pain. Quite sore, quite bitey, can't stay lying down. Get up and walk a bit, which helps.
3.35am - another pain and need to empty bowels. Sit on loo for a bit. Have a few more pains.
4am ish - off the loo, trying to rest on couch but couch too uncomfortable. Put TV on for distraction, doesn't work. Try to time contractions on the iPhone but can't make sense of it - how can they be 4-5mins apart already? With DD, it took a whole 12hrs to work from 20mins apart up to 7mins apart, which is when we went to hospital. Start to get nervous, its happening too fast, should I wake DH?
5am ish - more sitting on loo, have nasty experience of having to jump off loo, flush, turn around and vomit all in one motion. Note to self - try not to repeat that if possible! Understand now that things are happening fast - the vomitting with DD didn't happen til we got to hospital.
5.45am - have lasted as long as I can, wake DH, tell him I'm jumping in the shower and he needs to look after DD, as the shower always wakes her up. He asks why I'm showering, I tell him I got chuck in my hair because I'm in labour. He says "Ok cool". Jump in shower. DH wanders in and says "You're in labour? Woo!" and goes to the loo. Opens loo door, looks out and says "Are you having contractions?", which I can't reply to as I'm rocking and groaning in the shower. He goes "Oh right, that's one now...", closes loo door. Opens it a few mins later (morning ablutions :rofl: ) and says "Have you had any more? ... Oh right, you're having another one... that was fast!" Finishes on loo and wanders out to tend to DD.
6am - DH wanders back in, DD still sleeping (unheard of...) and asks if he can have a shower. I tell him I'll be out soon but ask him to gets the TENS ready.
Out of shower, TENS on, DH has a quick shower and calls his parents to come and collect DD. I am pacing the corridor but hear him tell them he will bring her down soon. I yell that he will do no such thing, they can come and get her. He quickly tells them to come up, they say they'll be here soon. At this point DH thinks I am being a panicky pregnant woman who wants her partner near by at all times, he doesn't realise how close it is. We open DD's door to try and wake her up gently. I continue pacing...
6.30am - I tell DH its happening fast, a lot faster than DD and he needs to call the birth centre, I need to get in there - contractions are about 3-4mins apart and very painful. I start to freak out that its too painful too quickly - its going to get much more painful, I don't remember it being this painful with DD! How am I going to cope? Tell myself I have done it once before, I can do it again. Continue walking, breathing, swaying, TENS-ing.
DH calls the hospital, nice MW who we know answers the phone. He tells them the situation, while on the phone I have two or three contractions. Can hear DH telling MW that we will leave some time in the next hour. MW hears me in the background, asks how I am handling the contractions, DH tells her there is lots of breathing and groaning and I'm giving the TENs a red hot go. I have another contractions soon after and nice MW suggests to DH that we come in sooner rather than later. DH agrees, saying that it'd be best as we will beat the peak hour traffic :o
ILs arrive to pick up DD. DD still asleep, poor poppet. Grandma goes in to wake her - all of a sudden I realise we have no bag packed for her. Try to direct DH and MIL where to find everything for DD. Panic that we have forgotten something critical, too much pain to think straight. DD leaves with ILs.
DH asks about our hospital bags - panic again realising our bags aren't quite packed and I'm getting very antsy to be leaving. Bark orders at DH - "Black top, on the chair, no not that one, ooo ooo oooo contraction ooooo, no not that one, yes that's the one!" Tell DH to throw some things in for himself. Don't care what he throws in. Need to get to hospital!
7am - get in the car and have the un-fun drive to the hosp. Thank goodness it is only 20mins... thank goodness we are arriving at 7.30am and there are plenty of car parks... have been known to spend half an hour looking for a car park at this hosp! Out of car, into birth centre, have a fleeting moment of "Wow, here we go!" but this is quickly banished by a contraction...
7.30am - Past the MW station, nice MW is still there and tells me to go into room 2. Another Mw follows me in and asks if I mind having a student MW? I say no, student MW joins us. I ask which MW will be attending me as 7.30am is shift change, we have arrived just at the change. MW tells me which two MWs are rostered on and thankfully mean MW from previous day is not working. MW Andrea arrives, she will be looking after me for the day. I am holding onto a birth bar, breathing and swaying. DH is out at reception filling in paperwork, I tell MW Andrea I might need the gas or the shower maybe, it is getting painful. Andrea helps me with some visualisation ("find your spot, look at your spot!" ) and tells me to try the shower first and see how I go. DH arrives in room and I notice for the first time that he is wearing jeans. My DH, who wears shorts when it is 10 degrees outside, chooses today to wear jeans. I tell him I hope he packed shorts as we're getting in the shower. He says no - looks inside his jeans - says its ok, he's wearing boxers :lol:
Into the shower we go... I face into the wall and let one shower head run on my tummy, DH holds the other on my back. Andrea also shows DH some acupressure points in my back he can massage for pain relief - this combined with the hot water feels lovely. I try the fit ball but it feels like I am sitting on a bowling ball (baby had definitely dropped) so we forgo this. Andrea finds a birth mat so at least I am standing on something soft. Andrea stays mostly in the background, leaves us alone for a lot of the time for us to "do our thing". Student MW (can't remember her name :redface: ) stays in the room but also in the background. She checks bubs' heartrate with a doppler every now and then and also has a quick feel of my belly, but apart from that there has been no mention of an internal or anything else. I don't actually notice this until it is all over...
Around 8.30ish - Andrea asks how I am feeling, do I feel pushy? At all? I say no but that I feel like I need to do a poo. She tells me to have a sit on the loo and see what happens, its a good position to help open the pelvis anyway. So I have a sit... nothing happens but then I feel and hear a loud POP and a big gush of fluid. Ahhhh, so that's what a spontaneous membrane rupture feels like. Last time my membranes ruptured when I was on the bed having an internal... completely different experience!
DH says "Good girl!" thinking I'd had a bowel movement... I smile and tell him it was my waters breaking. I hop up off the loo and have a look and my stomach drops when I see the colour... definite brown/green murkiness. Student MW comes over and has a look - I ask if its meconium? She says could be, but calls Andrea to assess. Andrea checks it out - asks if I managed to use my bowels, I said I didn't think so... we all agree its meconium. Andrea says not to worry, happens often with post-dates babies, but she has to call the paediatrician anyway. DH is looking confused and worried but there's no time to explain as I'm working through more contractions. Contractions 2-3mins apart. Back in the shower...
Andrea again asks how I'm feeling and if I want to try pushing? I say I'll give it a go - same thing happened with my DD, I never got that "OMG I have to push now!" feeling, but once I started, all good. She tells me I have to come out of the shower, which I say doesn't sound very good, but I come out anyway.
Ask if I can have the gas now? Andrea tells me no, its too late and that I'm doing it all by myself!
She has set up more birth mats on the side of the bed and I kneel down with my arms resting on the bed. DH sits on the edge of the bed and I grab his hand with both my hands to give me some leverage to bear down on. Contraction - I push. Push push push push push... baby's head appears. Andrea and Student MW tell me how fantastic that was and I have to do it again - but push harder. Nice break between contractions, I rest rest rest. Sips of water. Close eyes and wait. Andrea checks bubs' heartrate.
Contraction - push push push push push. Feel the burning burning burning - ahhh yes, this part I remember. Andrea tells me to take a breath and keep going, get the head out if I can, keep going keep going! But the contraction eases and I stop, panting I can't do it anymore, hurts too much. Burns burns. Andrea tells me I've got the top of his head out - to keep it there if I can. I give little pushes to make sure his head stays. She asks if I want a mirror to look and see my baby's head, or to put my hand down and feel? I say no to the mirror but I put my hand down and feel his wet, soft head. Wow, freak out. That's my baby.
Andrea checks baby's heart rate and I hear some muttering then she says to me "Ok, here's what happening. Baby is getting a bit over it, he needs to come out now. Next contraction, you are going to get this baby's head out. Ok? I might need to help you, I might need to give you a little cut, but he needs to come out. He's over it. Ok?" I say ok and start to pray, asking God to give me the strength I need to birth my baby boy. DH says "Pardon?" and I tell him I'm praying and he says he's been praying furiously for the past half an hour - even more so when he saw the baby's heartrate had dropped down to 90 and he saw Andrea and Student MW exchanging glances...
Andrea suggests a change in position - I go onto one knee instead of two. Feels weird but she says it will help. Contraction - I grab DH's hand and PUSH with everyting I have. (DH tells me after that I almost broke his thumb - he had no idea I had that much strength in me!) I push - I don't stop - I don't breath - I push. I feel something give and with that I feel a massive relief and hear Andrea telling me to stop, I did it, his head is out. Hey - the leg being up did help! She tells me to stop and rest, well done. I assume she has cut me... I rest my head, DH rubs my back and tells me how well I am doing. I tell him to stop touching me :lol: (its my labour thing, I can't handle too much physical contact...)
I hear more muttering between Andrea and Student MW - something about not being able to find/see his shoulder? But before I can ask what's going on, another contraction and they are telling me to birth my baby. The rest of his body is easy and slides slithers slips out into Student MW's hands. I start to turn but they are passing him up between my legs to me. I hold him to my chest and stroke his soft, wet head. I say "Hello little man" over and over again. I ride the wave of euphoria that hits me.
Andrea asks if I'm sure its a boy? I say "Can someone check?" and she laughs and tells me to check myself. I pull him gently away and confirm its a boy - or as I say to DH - "Look, a penis!"
They ask about name - I look at DH and we have a mental communication (its all in the eyes!) and I tell everyone his name.
Next Andrea asks if I'd like a physiological third stage, I say yes and they help me up onto a birth stool. As I sit up, I feel and hear a big gush gush gush... I look at DH and say "Is that blood?" He's gone a bit white and nods yes. Andrea quickly says no physiological third stage, we need to get the bleeding to stop. Its at this point I notice we have been joined by another MW and also the paed. I remember the meconium in the waters when I see the paed. Second MW gives me the injection, then the paed takes my darling boy for a quick look and the MWs help me up onto the bed. Paed says baby is fine and he is quickly handed back to me. Second MW helps me try for a breastfeed while Andrea assess the business end. Placenta is birthed not long after, looking strangely grey. I ask if that's because I'm post-dates? But she says its the meconium. She says its a "good sized placenta"!
Andrea tells me I have torn, twice but not badly, she thinks second degree. One tear along my old episiotomy scar and one on the other side. I'd assumed she had cut me, but the "give" that I had felt was me tearing. This was actually not painful and the recovery from my tears has been much better, faster and less painful than my episiotomy.
I remember to ask what his official time of birth was? Andrea tells me it was 9.19am - less than 2hours after we arrived at the birth centre. I am amazed and tell Andrea how fantastic I am feeling. Apart from the physical soreness and muscle aches etc, I feel like I could run a marathon. Andrea smiles and tells me it is because I have no drugs in my system at all and I should be proud of myself. Even gas she tells me can have a bit of a lingering affect. I start to comprehend that I have birthed my beautiful baby all on my own, with my sensational DH by my side. Wow.
The stitching begins and I am still lying down attempting to feed my little man. He's not really getting it but giving it a good try. Second MW is helping but tells me lying down like I am isn't the best (baby is sort of across my belly, its a bit awkward). He's also quite sleepy. We make do with skin to skin contact until I can sit up again. Andrea does a fantastic job stitching me up (so DH tells me!) and then helps me to sit up and we manage to successfully attach my boy and he begins to feed.
DH has been busy calling our parents and by now it is 11.30am and my mum and sister arrive, with my niece and nephew in tow. They are a bit miffed they missed the actual birth but happy it was so fast and all went well. They ask if he's been weighed and I say no, not yet. Andrea comes back with the scales and he goes to get weighed... DH, mum and my sister are all looking at the scales when Andrea puts him on and I see all of their eyes open in shock. Andrea says "That can't be right" and takes him off the scales, resets them and puts him back on. Eyes widen again and I ask "What, what? What does he weigh?"
4.84kg.
"What's that in pounds?" They do the conversion... 10lbs 11oz. :o He is long, too, which is why no one thought he was that big when he was born - he's quite in proportion!
We are all in shock and slight disbelief. My DD weighed in at 3.73kg, 8lbs 3oz. There had been no indication at all that he would be over a kilo heavier!
Andrea gives me a hug and tells me again how proud she is, even more so now that we know how big he was. She thanks me for allowing her to share the experience with us. She helps me to have a blissful shower (how good is the first shower after giving birth!!) and then I get dressed and enjoy more cuddles and snuggles with my beautiful boy.
My big boy's stats:
Born: 9.19am, 8/7/10 at the Family Birth Centre at the Mercy Hospital for Women, Melbourne
Weight: 4.84kg or 10lbs 110z
Length: 56cm
Head circumference: 37cm
Apgars: 9 and 9
Labour stats:
1st stage: 6hrs
2nd stage: 19mins (but only 3 contractions, weird!)
3rd stage: 13mins
Having had some time to reflect on this experience and compare it with my first, there were a few things that made this labour and birth a more pleasurable experience. I was only in labour for 6.5hrs, unlike the some 30+ with my DD. It was early morning when labour started and he was born while it was still daylight, so I didn't have the night time exhaustion. I was gently guided away from artificial pain relief and drugs and instead utilised natural methods. I also had a higher degree of trust in my body, that I knew what I was doing. I was primarily left to labour on my own, with no interventions or intrusions and the MWs were able to gauge where I was in the labour without intervening or intruding.
I was not once told to do something I didn't feel able or didn't want to do - get up on the bed, on your back, lie still, etc. We were out of hospital the following day and home to start our new life as a family of four.
All in all, this was an amazing experience and if I could guarantee I'd get that again, I'd be signing up for a third with no hesitation.
