Have to get an AVO put on a 15yr old

As some of you may know we've had problems with a 15yr old boy vandalising our home and other various things. We had another episode last night, it started with prank phone calls, he said he was going to kill DS (this is the second threat). I notified the police about the threat and the officer advised me to go to the Court House on Monday and apply for an AVO against him. Whenever we have had these prank calls something else has always happened later on during the night. I said to DH that I would stay up all night, just had a feeling. Around midnight it started pouring down so thought he's not going to come out in this weather so I went to bed. At 2.00a.m DS15 comes and tells me that he got up to get a drink and heard voices, looked out the front window and saw the boy who also saw DS and took off. He had a backpack, so was thinking he's obviously got something in there and was up to no good. DH who has had bad asthma went down the street while I called the police back. They came straight away, took down details and once again advised me to get the AVO. They went to the boys house around the corner but nobody answered. I had no idea an AVO could be placed on a child. I feel bad doing it but I honestly think it's the only thing that will stop all this.

Regards,
Dianne

Oh Dianne, I hope you guys get a suitable end to this soon.
I'm not too sure of the finer points of law in Vic, but here in the NT and in NSW a civilian cannot just take out an PVO (personal violence order) against a juvenile - the police must do it. Maybe just give the court house a call on Monday before you make the effort to go down there to check?

Could you first maybe drop a letter to the house stating that unless this crap stops you will be forced to place the avo? It might make you feel a bit better if this kid has a choice iykwim?

On the other hand, could you maybe set up a camera, or even a dummy camera at the front of the house so this little bugger can think twice.

I'd feel a bit bad too - but not if the kid had been warned and I was losing sleep and worrying about protecting my home/children.

Thanks Kim, I will call them first. Lulu after the police rang and told me that nobody answered the door I went myself to his house. The doorbell wasn't working, so knocked on the door and spoke to his mum. This time she was very appologetic and I told her that the police advised me to apply for the AVO and she said "do it". I felt so sorry for her but it came across that she is having problems with him. I honestly thought the same thing, was going to go back this morning and ask her if I could speak to her son to see if he could promise me this would all stop but DH is in hospital. Still not too sure what to do.

Regards,
Dianne

You CAN apply for an Intervention Order against a child in Victoria, and don't need the police involved. The application will be heard in the Childrens Court.

Good luck!

OH how sad that he's own mum said to do it :(

I hope nothing happens tonight hon

Big hugs to you and your family, Dianne. It's so unfair that you're being terrorised by a bleeding child, it's just awful :( How terrible that his mum either doesn't care or doesn't feel she has the power to control her son, I kind of feel sorry for the kid in a way, if he's got issues that are leading him to act out like this - just a real shame that he's picked your son and family to pick on :(
I know taking out an AVO on a child seems really harsh, but I have read what he's done to you, your kids and your house over the last few months and I have to say that if I were in your shoes, I'd probably do it. What other option do you have, really? If the safety and wellbeing of your kids is at stake, forget that he's a 15-year-old - he's definitely old enough to know better and NEEDS to know that he cannot continue behaving in this manner. Taking out an AVO may be what the authorities need to be able to handle him, their hands are usually tied when it comes to minors but if there is an AVO in place they can take action if he disobeys the conditions of the order.
Big hugs to you, I'm really sorry you are going through this and are being forced into a corner :( I hope the matter is sorted out soon and you get some peace.

I would definiently do it, i think? Youve spoken to the mum numerous times about rocking your roof and such, so i think there has been sufficent enough warning. You, your son, your family comes first. Maybe this will make him stop, hopefully and just see what he is doing.... dont know if you can lift the AVO once its been placed but maybe if he stops, you could lift it, so its not there for life for prospective job opportunities? How old is he? Same age as your DS? What a horrible situation, hope you DH gets better!

Ring the GEelong Courthouse first thing Monday morning and make an appointment. Is it you that the boy is annoying, or your son? If it's your son, he needs to go down with you and you (as his mother) can make the application on his behalf.

The Children's Court sits at Geelong - same magistrates etc as the Magistrates' Court, same building - they just announce "Children's Court" at the start of the case rather than "Magistrates' Court".

The Police Officer told me to place the order so that he can't come near our property again and also have it placed on DS as the threats to kill were against him. So not sure if it's the one AVO or two seperate ones..

Regards,
Dianne

You poor thing, I hope you get AVO all sorted out asap. Hugs your poor DS.

Sad that the mother encourages you to do it, she must have no options left herself.

Hugs Dianne, I hope it all gets sorted & you get some peace :hug: it must be horrible for you right now.

I understand feeling bad about it but you have to put your family first. It might be that this is what this kid needs to make him sit up & take notice? and it does sound like his mum is ate her wits end too.

:hug: best of luck.

It seems the generations are just getting more reckless as the years go by.. How a 15 yr old could even think to threaten and kill another 15 yr old is beyond me, my mum says that her days were no where near what todays days are like.. im 26 yrs old with 3 boys of my own my eldest is 9 and if my son ever mentions a word containing a threat and the boot will be up his backside...

His mum has probably been fed up with it for a while to tell you to "just do it"... i feel for her but i feel for your family MORE.. to live in that sort of situation is unthinkable.. your son must be terrified of the possibilities... Its just NOT tolerable... you have tried your hardest to fix the situation but my advise is maybe you really should do the AVO and let this kid know this is not a joke and threats are just NOT on... Prevent the preventable i say... Show this kid who is the BOSS...

GOODLUCK

You apply for it on behalf of yourself, with your son (husband and other children) as associated people. This is one option.

Or you apply for it on behalf of your son (if the main complaints are assaults on him), with yourself and the rest of your family as associated people.

It needs to be a Victims of Stalking complaint. Make sure you can show a pattern of abusive behaviour that is likely to occur again.

Thanks Divvy, I'm a bit confused on how it works though as up until now the police havn't been able to do anything because we've never been able to prove it was him. So if the AVO was granted and say something happened again, we still can't prove it was him, if that makes sense. Would the police be able to arrest him if he broke the AVO but we can't prove he did it?

Regards,
Dianne

He wouldn't be allowed to come within a certain distance of you, your son, your house. If you saw him within that distance, then you would need to report it to the police and they may charge him.

Go see the worker at Court and they should be able to assist you. Certainly the threats against your son (provided you have evidence of them) should be enough.

Get some cameras, cheapo's :-) so you will know if he comes near your house and can report him.. might also further scare him

The threats to kill were made via phone and from a private number. The first call I answered and I recognised his voice the second DH answered. We don't really have evidence as such.

Regards,
Dianne

Yes you do. You heard the threat. Your DH heard another threat. That's evidence.

Good luck tomorrow.

Hugs Dianne, you need to do this for you and your family's safety. Unfortunately, it may be the only way this kid will stop his behaviour and if it works then in the long run it has done him a favour and hopefully made himself get his life back on track. His poor mum obviously doesn't have any other options left in regards to disciplining him. I hope things improve for you. Good luck x

Went in this morning and applied for the Intervention Order, need to go back this afternoon to see the Magistrate so he can order an interim order to be put in place. Thanks again for all your support and advice.

Regards,
Dianne

:hug: Dianne - you are having such a bad run at the moment. I don't have any advice, but I really hope that things are sorted out quickly. Sounds scary!

The interim order was granted yesterday and the police served it this evening. I just received a phone call from the boys mother, she's changed her tune somewhat now. She said her boy said it was so and so who through the rocks and stole the bikes and someone else made the threatening phone calls. She wanted to give me names and addresses of these boys, I told her to give the details to the police if she wishes. She also said that my DS has been throwing rocks on her roof, I didn't want to get into an argument with her, so I said I don't think it's appropriate for us to talk about this as the order has already been made.

Regards,
Dianne

Sorry I didn't see this earlier DS ... I'm sorry you've had to go down this path.

FWIW, if you have the days the calls were made, the police are able to put a request into the telecommunications carrier for any call details made to your house - even from a private number. The call details are held in the exchanges for a number of months, I've seen them pulled about 4 months after the calls were made. As long as there is the permission of one of the parties, they can do it, otherwise it's a warrant that's served and all that entails.

:hug:
kaz

:hug: glad it has been served. Don't bother to speak to the boys mum, you don't want a 'he said, she said' argument going on. You have done the right thing and if anything else happens then you have the law on your side. GL

Oh my gosh hon. Be extremly proud that you said what you did to her on the phone...I dont think I could have been so mature ;) about it.
I hope that it solves the problems that yourves been having with this boy...lets hope that he's mother does step into his shoes now

Dianne all i can say i can't express how much i truly hope you get some peace soon, you certainly have had a rough run for sometime !!

Love & hugs to you lovely lady, all i ever see through your posts & threads is your one darn amazing Mum :thumbsup:

I'm glad you got the Interim Order, good luck for the next hearing.

FWIW, if his mother does call her again, it would be best to stop the phone call - she really shouldn't be calling you when her son has an Intervention Order which stops him from contacting you, IYKWIM. The Intervention Order stops him from asking someone else to contact you on his behalf, so he could get in trouble if his mother is seen to be passing messages or trying to mediate the situation. Perhaps tell her to get a lawyer (for her son) if she doesn't understand the Order.

Definately won't accept another call from her if she tries to ring again. You are absolutely right, he cannot ask anyone else to contact us on his behalf.

Regards,
Dianne