Ppl think pregnancy is a free for all!!

Hey Ladies,
Just having a rant!
Anyone else feel like the min you're preg ppl think they can say whatever they like to you?
I caught up with a friend the other day & the first thing she said to me was "oh my gosh your so fat", her mum was there & put her two bobs worth in too, saying "your having a boy because you've put on weight in your bum, def a boy" :o so sick of ppl telling me how huge I am, I've put on weight in my belly, that's it, my bum is always this big haha. Anyone else sick of ppls comments?
I've had ppl hassle me about wanting a drug free labour, wanting to find out the sex, ppl recommending elective c/s, telling me I'm mad for choosing mcn over sposies & the list goes on :(
Ppl are busy bodies!
What have ppl said to you that you're not happy about?
I'm at the point I don't want to talk about our preg with ppl because most ppl seem so opinionated!
What do you say to these comments?
:)

Ok so Omg recommending an elective c/s??!!!

Hun you'll get it non stop, it's people's 'advice' :lol:

What it is, is their experiences;)

Just go with it, giggle at it and move on;) You experience will be totally different;)

For the guessing the sex part, omg the old wives tales are soooooooooooooo funny!!!! With me, always wronge!!!! haha

2 ppl recommending an elective c/s actually hehe, they made me feel stupid for wanting to do it all naturally, no drugs, interventions if I can avoid them etc.

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2 ppl recommending an elective c/s actually hehe, they made me feel stupid for wanting to do it all naturally, no drugs, interventions if I can avoid them etc.

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Do it baby!!! Thats what our bodies are made for, in most cases;)

Thanks dedicatedmum, I'll try my best :)

big :hug:'s I'm sure you look gorgeous. There is nothing more beautiful than a pregnant mummy. And even if you have put on a little weight who cares! Your supposed to, your growing a beautiful little baby for goodness sake!

You'll probably have someone next week asking if everythings ok because you look "too small". Everyone has their stupid opinions and apparently you being a mum means they have every right to give them. :rolleyes:

as for what have people said to me- a "friend" upon learning I was pregnant said "what did you go and ruin your life like that for?" :o I cant remember exactly what I said but after I got over the initial shock, I let him have it. His defence? "I just didn't think you were that kind of person". Ha! I'd been desperate for a baby since I was 16 years old you *******.

It's *thier* insecurities and lack of knowledge not a reflection on you. :hug:

The one peice of 'advice' i hated and got from so many people was "go for the drugs".. :rolleyes:

And then when i tell people about my 23.5 hour labour, and that she was born posterior and the fact i did it all drug free i get called a crazy woman and that i should have "gone for the drugs"

I'm proud of the fact i did it and proved to myself i am alot stronger than what i thought i was.

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The one peice of 'advice' i hated and got from so many people was "go for the drugs".. :rolleyes:

And then when i tell people about my 23.5 hour labour, and that she was born posterior and the fact i did it all drug free i get called a crazy woman and that i should have "gone for the drugs"

I'm proud of the fact i did it and proved to myself i am alot stronger than what i thought i was.

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You showed what we can do;) You should be proud:)

Drugs, no drugs, c/s or natural, as long as you try is all that matters:)

Unfortunately when we become pregnant and become parents, people who have been there before us, then feel they have the right to give you their opinions etc!! I remember always getting "you're crazy for wanting to do mcn's over disposables!!" and "your going to take all the drugs they offer aren't you??" I would get so annoyed but quickly learnt to ignore their 'advice' and just smile and nod and close my ears :lol:

Alot of people have negativity around pregnancy, birth and babies but only because they haven't deal with their past, bad experiences perhaps ;)

Don't let them bother you, enjoy this time. Just turn it around on them and start talking about them because people love talking about themselves :lol: (well, it's true yeah?) so say something like "so what you have been up to lately and how is work??? I wanna talk about YOU!" or something!!!

It is incredibly annoying. I get asked if I own a TV all the time because I am having my fourth baby ... people actually laugh so hard at themselves when they say ridiculous things and it drives me nuts. It is soooo rude.

Here is a thread I posted a couple of years ago - it is good for a laugh and I almost copied it and sent it out to all my friends when I was pg.

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...ant-woman.html

MIL was continually telling me how fat i was... to the point where she would tell me with her pregnancies, the doctors begged her to put weight on, she refused, and as a result, when her DD was born half of the cord had died... so yeah, i got fat, i got lazy, i ate an abundance of chocolate but who really gives a cr*p? Not me :-) Im sure your beatiful hun, just their experiences.

Next time someone says "go for the drugs" look shocked and say that you're planning a freebirth in your backyard under a full moon :p

"You look fat"? Say "At least I have a reason" while patting their tummy :rofl:

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Next time someone says "go for the drugs" look shocked and say that you're planning a freebirth in your backyard under a full moon :p

"You look fat"? Say "At least I have a reason" while patting their tummy :rofl:

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:rofl::rofl:

Love that Tenibear, def the way to approach it i think. I kept having people tell me how small i was. Then got to 36weeks and the ob had a new receptionist who said it with the ob overhearing, can't believe it he made me have a scan to check that bub was big enough. I thought everything was fine, i'm very tall ffs and have a long torso, of course i wasn't going to be huge!! But being my first preg i went along and did the scan, got all stressed out over nothing. Grrr, its nice how everyone is a professional when it comes to YOUR body!!

One of the mum's at school, a couple of weeks ago, greeted me with "Hey, fatso"... I responded with "How ya going, chubby?"

She hasn't called me a name since.

Most of the time I responded with "Ive done a lot of research on xyz & what Ive found says its better than xyz because......"

My sister constantly told me I was fat, so I said to her "how much do you weigh?" & she said 55kg, to which I replied with "I put on 14kgs in total with DS & only got to 57kg" Then yesterday she called me fatty again & I turned round to her & told her I weigh less than her now& she didnt like that

Unfortunately it gets worse when you've had the baby.

When someone called me fat I would say "Yeah? What's your excuse?" It shocked a few people into silence.

On my choices for baby names I got "That's a stupid name!"

On drug free labour - "Ha! Good luck! You'll ask for the drugs."

On my Birth Plan I got "Why do you need a Birth Plan? You'll just do what your Obstetrician tells you to." :rolleyes:

On breastfeeding I got "My baby was formula fed, and there's nothing wrong with her." (This same person told me she smoked during her pregnancy too).

On parenting:
"Don't cuddle him too much, he won't ever want to be put down."
"Let him cry, sometimes babies just cry to get attention."
"You're letting him sleep in your bed?You'll regret that."
"You're making a rod for your back of you respond to every cry."
"You don't need to breastfeed after 6 months cause your milk goes bad."
"You're using cloth? That won't last."

Just remember - it's their stuff. Some people feel inadequate about their own pregnancy/birth/parenting experiences and have to alleviate their anger/guilt/sadness by criticising you. Just smile, nod and laugh at them behind their backs. Or challenge them on their behaviour of you have the energy.

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One of the mum's at school, a couple of weeks ago, greeted me with "Hey, fatso"... I responded with "How ya going, chubby?"

She hasn't called me a name since.

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:o how rude! but :rofl: at what you said back! good on you.

Yeah the C/S comments used to bug me too...I used to say C/S has a higher morbidity rate than vaginal birth and people would mutter something under their breath.

As for drugs, I used to ask...would you drug your baby? Most people don't even touch panadol in their pregnancy (and people would comment if you DID use painkillers whilst pg) but their happy to advocate strong drugs to a labouring woman.

Seriously most people know NOTHING about normal physiological labour and our hospital system makes it worse!

And just for the record...whats wrong with being a freebirthing hippy labouring under the full moon? :p Its a fantasy of mine!

and unfortunately, it doesn't stop in pregnancy, it goes on and on through parenthood...people just cannot help themselves.

I don't even talk about my choices my because I don't want to hear other peoples opinions, if I need information I will research myself or ask here on BB. What people say to me now goes in one ear and out the other so they really shouldn't even waste their breath.

I am sure you are looking fab and you will have a fantastic birth exactly the way YOU want it.

L x

I can't believe how many people are encouraging me to get on the booze! "Not even a small glass of wine?" or SIL "You can just have a teaspoon of Southern, in some Coke just for the taste." while discouraging me from drinking coffee! :wtf:

Same with Panadol. I have to be just about fainting in pain to ake it when I'm not UTD, so why is it really all that surprising that I won't take it while pg?

And, yeah, had someone tell me "Don't feel pressured into having a natural birth." Ummmm, wrong way round, kiddo.

I was overweight for ages, and never got called fat then. Now, a few people do it (mostly folk who didn't know me when I was fat) but I love it. I signed a colleague's birthday card "Love from Fat Mumma" I embraced it - it's the one time in your life where it's fun to be fat.
Alternatively, when people ask how I'm feeling, I reply with "FAT." It gets a laugh and beats them to their stupid comments.

Heva&Zacky: Can't believe your friend said that to you :o I've had so many ppl tell me i'm crazy, I work with kids so get lot's of parents telling me what i'm in for now, goodbye sleep, hello tantrums etc I find it funny that ppl seem more likely to be negative about having kids than positive, haven't had one person yet tell me it's the best thing we will ever experience, but I don't need to be told, I know it will be :D

1sttimemumma88: Just wanted to say Well done for birthing drug free, that's my goal, I've had quite a few ppl roll eyes, raise eyebrows and laugh at me & say we'll see when I say i'm going to try doing it drug free.

Just Me: Thanks for the link i'm going to have a squiz now.

TeniBear: Love your responses, I'm going to try them next time someone comments on me being a fatty!

Nickle730: I got the exact same greeting only yesterday by my neighbour "Hey Fatso" but gosh I wish I'd responded with "How ya going chubby" haha :lol: I'm going to try that next time!

Persephone1: Thanks I think you may be right, one person who has been criticising me for wanting a natural birth and told me how much better for your body and baby a c/s is has chosen 3 elective c/s, maybe she is disappointed she never tried doing it naturally. I'm all for c/s if it's for the health of bubs but I want to at least do my best at trying to have my baby the way nature intended.

Arcadia: I need to do a bit more research on c/s so that I can come back with factual responses, thanks good to know :D

Boo boo: I'm only half way and already learning to just keep my mouth shut when ppl ask questions. I'm tired of hearing ppl's opinions.

Audax: I'm the same as you, I've had one panadol this whole preg so far for a major headache, but def not a fan on putting things into my body. I don't want to drug my baby in labour, will be trying my best, the only way i see myself having an epidural is if I need a c/s.

Thankyou so much for your responses and advice ladies, I've got some good comebacks now :) and will also be less likely to share our plans with ppl from now on.

Some lovely person told me that I was "as wide as I am tall" when I was pregnant.

When it comes to TTC, pregnancy and babies, people are experts.

When I was TTC I got - "just relax and it will happen" or "you're trying too hard" (WTF?).

When I was pregnant I got - "wow, you're huge" or "wow, you're tiny" (yes, those two comments were on the SAME DAY!!)

Now that bubby is here, everyone is an expert on what she "should" be doing by now eg, not sleeping in our bed, sleeping through the night etc.

I just smile and nod now.
Sue x

The smile n nod seems to be the key, I'll be trying that from now on :)

it will never end, it's been going on for centries, and for many more to come, you may find yourself doing it one day.
But don't give a toss about anyone else, focus on what you want, what is best for you and bubs. I know I always feel fantastic when I'm preggers, weather people think I'm huge or tiny, i'm fat for an actual reason not just because I eat too much bad food and that feels awesome.

Without even seeing you I know that you are dead sexy right now and that any decision you make about you and your bub is the right one for you.

Thanks kungfubecca :) i love my big belly :)