Thinking about sending DS to daycare 1 day a week

I'm heading down to our local daycare tomorrow to see about getting ds in one day a week and taking ds to have a look. I always said I'm never going to sent any of my kids to daycare. I had them I will care for them. But I just really need a break. I have the kids 24/7. It's just me and dh, we have no family who can or will look after the kids or help with anything. I told dh on Friday night he is not happy about it but I'm hoping if ds likes it he will change his mind. Ds gets so bored at home, he needs more to do. I take him to the indoor play centre once a week, which he loves, he always finds kids to play with. Its my 1 on 1 time with ds cause dh stays at home with dd. One day a week would make it so I don't have to take him shopping, taking him shopping is a nightmare I end up in tears every time and give me a little bit of 1 on 1 time with dd before the baby comes. If he hates it and cries and doesn't want to go, then I know I won't be able to leave him so I'm praying he loves it.
I feel like a crappy mum for not coping. Am I doing the wrong thing?

I don't think you are doing the wrong thing :hug:

However, every centre that I've sent my kids to, usually require 2 days minimum, so its not as long for the kids to be away from the centre - I usually do a mon/wed or wed/fri type thing.

I've found once the kids get to 2.5 - 3, they really need the extra stimulation that I can't provide, I'm not a child care worker, I'm not a teacher, I'm just me! So I have no ideas of what to do with them for the most part.

So I think its a great idea :) Its always nice to have some alone time too :)

Yowie - my little boy has been going to daycare 2 days a week since february and he wasnt sure at first but now he loves it

i dont think ur being a bad mother for putting your DS in daycare its great for their development and social interactions

i didnt want to put my DS in either but it got to the point going shopping yes is a nightmare, cleaning anything even as you say just a days break is lovely
Im pg with number two and its going to give me a great break away when this one comes along, even being pg its awesome having those 2 days of not having to chase a little one!

Enjoy it and please dont feel bad for doing this, it is what daycare is for afterall not just working mums!!!! And at first DS might not like it but he is use to being around you stay strong and keep going he will eventually love it!

Goodluck!

I have had all my kids in some form of daycare. Eldest DD was in Family Day Care from 11 months as I had to go back to work and she loved it. You get to pick the lady that looks after your l/o and if you are not happy with her then you can choose someone else. My others went through FDC as well and preschool. My youngest 2 are in preschool and love going. They thrive on the attention of the other kids and it helps intergrate them for school (some time off yet :) ). I love my 1 day off a week and tend to do absolutely nothing if I can help it lol.

I think quite the opposite, by giving yourself some time out, you are doing the right thing. You can be a better Mum if you have som you time and therefore cope better for the rest of the week.

There are other options apart from creche/daycare/family daycare. There are short term (a few hours) of care around where I live & it is called 'Take a Break'. My gf uses it to have a few hrs to herself & her son loves it. She never put any of her other children into any sort of care in the past. It might help to look into that sort of care before going a full day into creche etc.... I know that the creche DD goes to that you have to go in for a full day but it can be only 1 day per week, whereas the one another gf sends her son does half days. BTW my DD loves creche & she goes two days in a row. GL with your decision.

I used to think the same, but when I started working from home, I ended up putting her in a daycare centre 1 day to do stuff like phone calls, paperwork, deliveries and I found that it meant on the days she was at home, I had more time to spend with her rather than having to juggle doing it all with her at home. Towards the end of my pg with DS, when I stopped working, I said to DH that I couldn't really justify having her there, but he said to leave her in because she loves going, and also it gave me time for myself, and also to do housework, the shopping etc. And now i think it probably is the best thing. She really does love going, she has her friends there now, and when I tell her its wednesday and childcare day, she yells out "yay, childcare"! She's been known to be dressed and stood by the door at half 7, when I don't tend to take her till 9!

Like a pp said, it will probably make you a better mum, because you've had that time out and not had to drag them out to the shops etc.

(although a tip with the shopping - see if you can get home delivery and shop online - that's my sanity saver! I tried shopping once with a toddler and a newborn - and I was almost in tears in the car park too!)

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although a tip with the shopping - see if you can get home delivery and shop online - that's my sanity saver!

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Totally agreed, we use Coles online and god it makes life easier

Re Daycare though, 1 day a week might be a bit difficult if he has trouble getting used to it, as a week is SUCH a long time for little ones, by the time the next week comes around it may be almost like starting over again, so be prepared for that.

My DS (only 15 months) started care about 6 weeks ago, its really only the last 3 weeks that he is totally into it, loves it now, and is developing in leaps and bounds, he is a pretty social kid and really connects with the carers, there are great benefits to care.

Regarding needing some time though for you to get things done though - I totally get it - you know what they say - Happy Wife, Happy Life :)

Oskar started going one day a week this year, he was almost 3. He goes on a Wednesday and ooooh I LIVE for that day some weeks lol. It is tough having them 24/7 and no family help. I'm the same and he does love going. He's learnt so many new skills, new songs (ones I remember but didn't remember I remembered lol) and learning more socialising skills. Just recently though he's been having some separation anxiety at drop off time and in the morning before going, however I've been told by one of his teachers that this is VERY normal at his age (he's now almost 3 1/2). At first we didn't have any problems but it then just happened. She said they get past it, it's just they're a lot more aware of things at his age. Having said that, within a few mins of me leaving they tell me he's fine and has a wonderful day. This is the day I do go to the shops to do what I need to do ... with just one kiddie lol. Elijah will go when he's 3 too.

I also saw it as starting to get him ready for prep etc... next year he'll go into the "kindy" program which is (I think) 5 day fortnight, then it's prep the year after, so that's 5 days a week! It will be good for him and he'll learn a lot of new things and do things we just don't have time to do too often when we have other kiddies too.

I have Sam in day care one day per week. It started when I went back to work and DH continued to work one day per week, but then I had to stop working and DH has gone back full time - we've kept that one day, even though it really stretches the budget some times!

I spend the first half of the week feeling guilty and wondering if we can really justify the expense - and the rest of the week desperately hanging out for Friday so I can get a break! Like you I have no family locally who can watch him for even a couple of hours. On Fridays I tend to book all the appointments I need - went to the optometrist just recently and it would have been impossible with an active, curious toddler there!

One thing - I would suggest judging whether he enjoys it or not by how he is at the end of the day. Sam cries when I drop him off... He didn't the first few weeks but does now. Six months later still does... but he has an absolutely fantastic time while there, and I know when I've been able to hide around the corner so he can't see me that the tears settle very quickly and he's keen to just get on and enjoy his day.

BW

Thank you ladies for you replies. I will go down in the morning to talk to them. I wish we had shopping online but its not in our area. I will let you know how it goes. Thank you.

I never wanted to send ours to care either. But I found that it really was driving me insane being with them ALL THE TIME and so from the beginning of last year they both started one day a week, then this year when I went back to work we put them in for two days. I work Wednesdays and then I have Fridays "off" (although I can go in to work if I need to). It's saved my sanity, they love it, the carers seem to love them, and with the childcare rebate it's fairly affordable. Don't feel guilty... by having the time off, you'll find you're more balanced and able to cope better with all the tantrums and challenges toddlers can throw at you!!

Hi Yowie
you can tell them that you want to try your DS one day a week first to see how he gets use to it. Most childcare centres will let you do that (well most in my areas allowed us to put 1 day a week).

At first DD was crying too but she's very much use to it now. It only took her 2 weeks (2 days) to settle in the new one and she doesnt cry at all now.

I must warn you though the first few weeks will be hard because they will be clinging and crying like theres no tomorrow but they usually settle once you leave, but they will get use to it and grow to like it.

:hug: I think you definitely need that time off and rest up.

I put my DS into daycare three days a week when I went back to work then after 6 months I had to cut back my work days to one day a week due to my health. The centre was fine with that. So now he goes once a week and he really likes it. It did take him about 6 weeks to get used to it though. He gets to do lots of things there, art and craft, play with toys that are different to home, socialise etc. The only problem that we've had is the sickness!! He has had so many colds, gastro, conjunctivitis, hand, foot and mouth...ugh! That part I find really hard but I guess he's building his immune system.
I think you're doing the right thing by giving yourself a bit of time to yourself. That way you won't get resentful and exhausted and the time you spend with your DS will be so much better for the both of you.

Thank you ladies. DS and I went down to the daycare. I have booked him in once a week starting Friday next week. They let you do just 1 day. I think 1 day is enough cause he will be doing swimming lessons Monday, we go to the play centre Wednesday then daycare on Friday. We went to the toddler room and ds ran off and played. He loved it. Didn't care about me at all. The only problem I had was trying to get him to come home. I had to carry him out of the centre kicking and screaming. I thought it would have been the other way around lol. The teachers think he is going to fit right in.
I feel alot better about sending him now. Thank you for all the reassurance.

That's awesome to hear! :) He will love it, it's good for them to be exposed to different activities too. I do love it as it gives me time to recharge my batteries a bit too.

Thought I would just update. DS went to daycare yesterday. I took him in about 10am, sat with him for a little bit, after I walked out the door I could hear him crying for me. I burst into tear and ran to the car. I cried all the way to town, it broke my heart leaving him. When I got into town I rang the daycare and he was happy. About 1.30 the daycare called me asking me to pick him up, at nap time he totally lost it, they couldn't calm him down, he was crying for me and was so upset he was vomiting. She put him on the phone and he just screamed Mummy. When we got there one of the teachers had him sitting on her lap out the front reading a book. He looked at me and burst into tears. The teacher said he loved it until nap time, I told her next week I will pick him up before nap time. He doesn't go to sleep without me, I am there when he goes to sleep, when he wakes up during the night he comes into my bed. I was worried how he would go at nap time, I should have when with my gut and got him beforehand. He still says he had fun and wants to go next week. I cry just thinking about leaving him again, he is more keen than I am lol.

Aww, that's so hard :hug:
No reason you can't do half days to start with and give him a chance to settle in.
Two things I'd suggest. Before starting DS at daycare I went with him for a few hours in the morning 1-2 a week to give him a chance to get used to it with me nearby.
The other thing is if you're leaving, leave right away. It's hard (worse for you even) but better for them in the long run. You say goodbye and go and they learn that it's ok, you will come back.
All the best - it's good that he's keen.

Yowie - that sounds hard! But you know now that the carers will call you if they need to and won't try to stick it out and not let you know that there's a problem.

In time, you may find that he gets better with nap times...

For us, for day sleeps, ever since he was about 8 weeks old, I have wrapped Sam and cuddled him to sleep... in a quiet room with soft music... I was really worried about how he'd go with getting to sleep at day care, but the carers were happy to wrap him and do what ever it took to get him to sleep without distress. They haven't needed to wrap him for a while, but have at times rocked him in a pram...

Just recently I started getting reports that he wouldn't sleep at rest time, but he was happy and would sit quietly and read a book with one of the carers or something. I'd have an extremely tired little boy when I picked him up, but he'd do things like sleep from 3-7, have dinner and be back in bed asleep at 9pm (his normal bed time).

It was only yesterday that it happened - I was delayed getting to pick him up so was around an hour later than normal collecting him... panicking that if he'd not slept again he would just be over tired and completely beyond it... But I arrived and got told he'd slept really well. He slept in a "big bed" with the older kids (they get little stretcher beds on the floor), just laid down and put himself to sleep without any interaction or help from anyone else. I'm a bit sad that my boy is growing up and won't be wanting or needing cuddles to go to sleep for too much longer, but it is a relief to know that he's found a way to sleep at day care. I'm sure in time that your son will find a way as well.

BW

Hi Yowie

Does he have a little comfort toy he can take along for nap time? But, yeah in the meantime, half days might be the way to go until he gets used to the carers, etc. My DD did one day a week from 20 months on, she settled in well, but the first few times, I went through a range of emotions, tears, guilt, etc. He will get there hun, it just takes time for him to build up to feeling comfortable especially around naptime. Good luck with it all. x

I'm exactly the same. I would love to put DS in daycare (we have my ILs that can watch him, but I feel he needs to interact with other children) for 1 day a week, but feel horrible.
I hope things go well for you

Thanks Ladies. I wasn't expecting it to be so hard. He doesn't have a day sleep at home. He does have a comfort toy (a wotwot) which he took with him, he also took his blanky. Thank you for the replies.