I have wedding envy :(

DH & I went to a wedding on Saturday, and it was seriously beautiful. Everything about it. The bride was stunning, her dress magnificent, and they had the most emotional vows - they both got teary! And the weather, wow what a day in Townsville! Later on the photographer hooked the camera up to a TV and we saw the photos - so stunning.

It was great, and I really am so happy for them. But I can't help feeling jealous. DH & I married in November last year, and it really was a great day. I am so happy to have married my best friend. But I just can't help focussing on the not-so-good things :(

- First, we were supposed to marry on the beach. But we had the worst November weather ever - freezing cold, raining, not really a beach to speak of in weather like that. So we changed it to the reception venue, which wasn't really ideal
- The celebrant decided to stand behind DH (so between him and his best man) rather than between me & DH. That meant we couldn't hear her very well with the weather, and during almost the entire ceremony DH was looking over his shoulder to hear her and read from her book. Not so romantic when he's saying his vows to her and I said mine to the side of his face
- I didn't manage to lose all the weight I wanted before the day. The dress fit and was nice, I just feel like I could have looked so much better. Looking back at the photos I'm not entirely happy
- The photos themselves. We hired this guy cos he did a friend's wedding and they were good. Dunno what happened with ours!! Because the weather was so horrible all the photos were taken inside the reception venue. And they're just not that great :(

I know I should focus on the good - there really were so many good things about that day, but just seeing this couple looking into each other's eyes and saying "I love you" brought it all back :(

I get that way too KTee, Ive been to some amazing wedding and I often think if only we waited a few more years we could have afforded that elaborate wedding with all the trimmings, i too was so glad to marry the love of my life, my best friend but I we had a small, intimate wedding when id have loved a massive one.

Thanks for letting me sook Raising Dancers, lol. I guess no-one's going to have everything go perfectly, we just need to look at the good points

I can totally understand!! My DH and I had a lovely wedding, done on a VERY tight budget and although I know it's the marriage that counts, not the wedding day, and we did enjoy ourselves very much, I can't help but get a bit jealous of friends who have the huge white weddings with all the trimmings :) DH and I married in a courthouse ceremony, only immediate family present, and I was 5 months pg with DD1 so I couldn't have a beautiful gown (nor could we afford one lol). I want to have a big white wedding and renew our vows on our 5th wedding anniversary to 'make up for' our wedding, maybe you and your DH could look at doing something similar to give you the wedding you deserve, that you missed out on because of the bad weather?
Big hugs to you - I can definitely sympathise with how you feel. I don't think it's 'ungrateful' or wrong to feel bad that your wedding didn't go to plan, it's our special day, our fantasy, it should be everything we dream of!! xx

Thanks Glamourcide. That kind of validates how I feel about it all. Originally I wanted to get new photos done on the beach for our first wedding anniversary this year, but we not likely to be available for that and have other things to spend our money on right now.

I think renewing your vows is a great idea! Then you can treat it just like your big day, and invite everyone who couldn't go last time. I might pinch that idea :)

:hug: Hun, Im sure you looked absolutly gorgeous!
I had a simular experience on the weekend and im feeling extremly horrible now for the comments i made.

Saturday was supposed to be my wedding day except me and XF split so i was out to lunch and i seen a bride having her pics taken in a beautiful park with a waterfall and jelousy over took me and i sat there for about 5mins saying how horrible her dress was :o now thats not me at all i didnt even know this poor woman! I still cant believe i said such horrible things. :( i guess what im trying to say is i understand to an extent.

Whats to stop you doing it again on your first anniversary. That way you can get a friend to take the photos and take as long as you want where you want.

I completely understand! There are so many things we'd change bout our wedding - one being one of the groomsmen. He rocked up for one vest fitting and didn't even rock up to the rehersal and knew nothing bout the place to stand and the other people in the bridal party.. He p***ed me off something chronic! DH said that he'd have chosen the person we got to do the video-ing that day if he knew the guy was going to stuff us around.

Oh Twinkletoes, I'm sorry :hug:

I think in your case it's completely understandable that Saturday would be a very emotional day for you, and I'm guessing you didn't actually say these things to the bride. There's nothing wrong with a little vent!

DarkDreamer, we have a similar situation! In September last year DH was best man for his childhood friend. He put so much effort into it, we travelled the day before so that he could be with the groom that night and all of the next day, and put so much thought into his speech. So then this guy was our best man too. He couldn't make it to our dinner the night before, rocked up at about 1 on the day (wedding was at 3, so DH was left on his own with just the page boy and occasionally his parents for most of the day), and his speech was "I've known *name* for years now, I'm pleased to be his best man, thanks for coming, congratulations guys". That hurt DH a bit, knowing how much he'd put into his speech for this guy :(

i can understand that hun - given your wedding didn't work out exactly as you'd planned, it makes sense that seeing someone else's come together perfectly, it would tug at you

with your photos, have you seen any "trash the dress" photos at all? if you have your dress still this could be an awesome way to get some fantastic photos (on the beach no less) and have a great time. you can lose the extra weight if you want and go and have a blast. we've just had family photos done by a photographer who does a lot of these, and the photos are amazing. it's not something i could do, but it's an idea if you want different photos and a positive, enjoyable photo session with your dress kwim?

Yeah I have seen those BG, I love them!! That was behind my original plan to re-do our photos this November - go down the beach and really have some fun with it, get in the water and sand :) Unfortunately we likely won't be anywhere near a beach this year, and won't have the money for it, but still definitely something I wanna do :)

My Mum heard about that and was totally against it - thought I should keep my dress all nice. But I'm never gonna wear it again, it's just hanging in the wardrobe, and hers is actually rolled up in a garbage bag in the closet, slowly going yellow!! Lol

it doesn't have to be for your first anni though - you could set it as a goal for your fifth or something... redo your vows yourself on the day, and then have the photos taken - and the best bit - a stormy day on the beach would make for divine trash photos!

Yeah... Thanks, I reckon I'll definitely put that down as something DH can do for me for an anniversary gift one year lol :)

Mine was 2 weeks ago and I feel the same way! I keep thinking of I should have done this or done that so rest assured I bet the bride you just saw will be feeling the same as you in the future! We are always a bit more critical of ourselves than other people are. So while you think her wedding was the most beautiful perfect thing I bet there are things she isn't happy with.
Why can't we just be happy with what we have! ha ha ha x

I'm sure a lot of people regret one thing or another. I regret my choice of hairdresser, and our music playlist could have been a bit better. But whatever.

As for the first anniversary, I wear my dress every anniversary, and take it out for a bit of a walk. We have photos. This year will be tricky - 4 weeks after my EDD! :lol: So, yeah, nothing to stop you celebrating again, or renewing your vows in 5 years or something. It's a lovely idea.

Congratulations Joeve!! I think you're right, there'll be things she wasn't impressed with (the caterer's were late and they didn't dance), but to me it was great. My wedding was probably the same to her!

Exactly! I walk away from most weddings going ohhhhhh woooooow and people probably did that at yours too!
Audax - i love that idea! Hmmmm maybe i should keep my dress and see if it fits me next year!

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Thanks for letting me sook Raising Dancers, lol. I guess no-one's going to have everything go perfectly, we just need to look at the good points

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NP, Im hoping we can renew our vowls next year at our 5yr anniversary & if not then maybe 10

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with your photos, have you seen any "trash the dress" photos at all? if you have your dress still this could be an awesome way to get some fantastic photos (on the beach no less) and have a great time. you can lose the extra weight if you want and go and have a blast. we've just had family photos done by a photographer who does a lot of these, and the photos are amazing. it's not something i could do, but it's an idea if you want different photos and a positive, enjoyable photo session with your dress kwim?

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I had these done 2 years ago, check me out ;)
it was a freezing 15 degrees but so worth it, I want some more with DH

Wow RD, your photos are beautiful! You looked great :D That's just like what I wanna do, down the beach

Can you take any solace in the fact that "big" weddings cost a silly amount of money, and that the magnificent dress was probably worth more than a month's mortgage payments?

My experience with wedding envy was a funny one. About 5 years ago I was bridesmaid and DH was best man in a friend's wedding. It was a big white one with 8 attendants, lovely flowers, rings, vows, and reception. I started thinking back to my wedding - we married at 20, had no money, our rings cost $67 for the pair (we made them ourselves out of 9ct gold cause we couldn't afford anything else), we catered for it ourselves in a local park and I wore a simple blue dress that BIL's girlfriend made. Very low key. I found myself pining for a big white wedding, and told my mum this. Fast forward to the day we went dress shopping for the bride - I found myself in Brides of Melbourne surrounded by Bridezillas (not my friend, though, she was cool) and lots of frothy white frou-frou rubbish and I could almost hear the music from "Psycho" playing in my head. I realised I had been suckered by the wedding industry and was SOOOOO not a white wedding girl. I got home and told DH about it, laughing, and he said seriously "well will you tell your mother?" Turns out she had been "at" DH for months trying to convince him we needed a big white wedding to renew our vows at our 10th anniversary :D

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Wow RD, your photos are beautiful! You looked great :D That's just like what I wanna do, down the beach

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Thank you :)