No sex drive in pregnancy

Hi guys,

Im 25 weeks pregnant and have absolutely no sex drive AT ALL!! Hubby has been so patient with me, but I know it gets him down badly as he has quite a high drive.
Before pregnancy the drive wasnt huge so I did expect a downwards spiral, but to end up with nothing??
I have a busy home life, I do shift work and have 4 kids already, along with the day to day stuff we do around the house anyway. Im noticing though that of a night time my groin feels quite stiff and achy just from the days work. This doesn't help our bedtime situation at all.
Last night I thought well I might not want to do it, but I can still pleasure hubby with small intimacies, but he took that as a sign of "lets get it on" and started to return the favour. It was more than I could handle and Seriously I must of had a Hormonal pregnancy moment because I burst into tears half way through with just the thought of having to do the act and feeling so achy. This cant be normal ....
Its really getting me down. I love my Hubby to bits, and want to be able to express this in the way that we do, but Im frightened because I just cant that its just going to cause more trouble than good.
I seriously need some advice or help if anyone can give it.
Thanks all.

I don't have much advice, but I am feeling the same. Lucky for me DH doesn't like DTD while I'm pg anyway, so I'm in a different situation. When I was pg with DS, I had a huge sex drive, but with DD and this bub, I have none. It is pretty normal, your hormones are going wild and from the sounds of things you have a really full plate at the mo. I think your DH needs to be really patient. Maybe you could organise a date night (even at home) when you have an intimate night at home. That way he has something to look forwards to and you are prepared for things to come so to speak, lol! Good luck.

Sounds pretty normal, I know it's frustrating and you want DH to be happy but he also needs to understand how you are feeling. I've got 4 kids and am not pregnant, no sex drive, when it comes to the evening I just want to sleep.

Regards,
Dianne

Thanks guys, Its just so frustrating. I must say though Hubby has been fantastic and so understanding, but it still gets me down knowing how he feels in this all :(
And yes Im the same, come bed time at night after running after 4 children and all I wanna do is sleep as well.
I guess whats more annoying is they say if your pregnant with a boy (which I am) then your drive is supposed to have you swinging off ceiling fan just about with all that extra testosterone in your body. Im guessing though thats just a myth, and if it is true its dependent on your hormones anyway. Who knows - the trials and tribulations of pregnancy I guess ...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has suffered a serious lack of sex drive.
I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant with my first and thats the last thing on my mind, the last month or so I haven't wanted it at all.

My sex drive went down early on because I had horrible morning sickness. (it should be called all day sickness!!), but then returned to normal. Now, its lower than its ever been.

My partner has been awesome through the whole thing, which helps.

But again, I'm so glad that there's others that feel like me!!

--Charlotte.

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I guess whats more annoying is they say if your pregnant with a boy (which I am) then your drive is supposed to have you swinging off ceiling fan just about with all that extra testosterone in your body. Im guessing though thats just a myth, and if it is true its dependent on your hormones anyway. Who knows - the trials and tribulations of pregnancy I guess ...

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Last pg, I had a boy and my sex drive was sky high, this pg, also pg with a boy it's non existent! So it must be a wives tale! Well in my case it is anyway!

Yes hormones are something else arent they?!?!?
I think they need an on off button that we can access somehow. :)

I couldn't DTD for months when i was pregnant. I had the worst MS i couldnt stop throwing up long enough to even do anything and then there was the incident of throwing up on him while we were mucking around.... so we maybe did it maybe 5 times the whole time i was pregnant..

I wouldn't worry too much as im sure like me after the babys born you will have the highest sex drive LOL

Having no sex drive is normal as hormones can make things very strange indeed. Also areas down there are more sensitive because of the blood flow and sometimes things that used to feel good feel awful!
I know that my "woohoo" feels really strange at the present moment. Sensitive to touch and sometimes sore for no reason.

My Sex Drive is pretty non-existant (i'm having a Boy) but I am also finding that DH's Sex Drive is also non existant. I think being kicked in the guts by your unborn baby when your mid stride is a really big turn off for him (that's happened on more than one occasion!) I think also the positioning has to be different when pregnant which can throw a spanner in the works. I'm too big to be underneath which is where I prefer and I feel weird being ontop as I think that I am crushing him :(

So to sum up, its perfectly normal to feel the way you feel! ;)

I'm feeling exactly the same way. I've found the couple of times we've DTD that it feels weird and I find it off-putting, not enjoyable. :( I'm also finding I'm ready for sleep by about 8pm, which doesn't help...

Same, no sex drive at all. I am 23 weeks and all I want to do is sleep all the time.
It's ok at the moment as DH is working really long hours and is too tired himself...

22 weeks here (first baby) and my sex drive has been non existant for pretty much the whole pregnancy. I've had a couple of moments, but nothing much. Thing is, DH has a super high sex drive and isn't so quiet about his urges :( hes not particularly understanding and it has led to tears on my part on more than one occasion!

Even me almost throwing up on him when I had ms (and I agree, it should be called all day sickness!) only very temporarily dampened his interest!

Tbh I think it's perfectly normal.

I completely lost my sex drive in my last pregnancy, and tbh I only got it back recently. It's hard when sex is such a pivotal part of a relationship but you need to explain to him how you feel and that it is a hormonal thing and not a reflection of your love for him.

Aww you guys are so awesome.
Its so great to hear that others are also going through this. I think what bites more is our drive is basically also based on our emotions (which are usually all over the place in pregnancy) whereas our mens drive are a physical thing. (Lol I cant think of the right word so thing will do)
I can relate on so many levels with you ladies (except the "all day or ms" sickness). Im lucky I dont have that. But I too am ready for bed by 8, and because I cant sleep on my stomach anymore i have to sleep on my side which leave my hips aching all day long. Not to mention the groin constantly aching (that I think I should probably get checked by doc or midwife) and so on. Im not sure if I have ever moaned this much in my life until this this pregnancy.
Hopefully things pick up soon for us all!!!

Oh I hate not sleeping on my tummy too :-( Just cannot get comfy any other way :-(

WIth my first pregnancy I had the urge, but DH was too scared to dtd, he thought it would hurt the baby.
Second pregnancy, wow!!!! I couldn't get enough of it until about 7 months, then I just got too big & uncomfortable.
It took 7 months for my urge to come back - doesn't happend that often though because DH works away for a minimum of 10 days, then is only home for 4.
Sam must have a sixth sense - he pretty much always wakes up for a feed when we are in the middle of dtd.

Just a thought for you leekee - if you're feeling so exhausted by night time, is there any chance your kids could have a sleep over with grandparents or someone while you have a relaxing night's sleep. If you're like me you might be more up for it in the mornings or even afternoons as opposed to evenings. Hard to organise, really, though.

I have zero desire too- the thought of mucking around down there is not enticing at all when my pelvis hurts and the sexy hormones are on holiday. I didn't get my libido back till my period returned last time... my son was 14 months old by then! :lol:

most of the preg i have not wanted it but gave in a few times because i felt so bad. in last time we DTD down there throbbed for teh rest of the night and i was in so much pain, but in saying that i O'd like 3 times and normally its hard to get it just once. so the swolleness and sensitivity really helped in that way lol.
the last 2 weeks everytime i sleep its all i think about but when it comes time to doing it my heart burn is so bad i wanna spew or i just think about the after pain and it puts me off so much.
DH says he understands and hasnt pushed at all but i can tell its killing him lol.

Oh thank god there is a thread like this. I've been feeling TOTALLY guilty because I'm just not that up for it anymore! It's been 6 weeks since we DTD, and even before that I just kind of.... got on with it because I felt like once every 2 weeks wasn't very much action for DP. Luckily for me though it was still enjoyable, I just had trouble building an appetite to get started.. hehe. Anyway, now the heartburn has kicked in, and my belly is starting to get kind of round, I just don't feel sexy anymore! It's not that I'm not interested, I just feel so.................................. chunky. I find it hard to feel sexy with this pot belly. DP hasn't said a word though, he never really had a super high drive anyway so that helps, but I still feel guilty for not being intimate with him. i wonder if he's picking up on my un-sexy vibe or simply finds me chunky also and isn't that interested. Oh man that's a whole other sad story though!

I just keep thinking about when the baby comes and we can't really DTD for quite a while, I'll look back and wish we did all this time!

So, no you're definitely not alone. Anyone got any 'get randy' tips? hehehe