Feeling Detatched =[

wasnt sure where to put this

i feel so unattached to this baby growing inside me and it just makes me wanna cry i just want the baby to be here so ican feel something i dont know wat to do :crying:

:hug::comfort: i hope you feel better soon, once you have bub and can hold your bundle, it will make the world melt arround you. take care and rest up.

Honey Im the same. Sadly Im very blurgh to this little baby that was sorta planned (we wanted to TTC in 2011 but were doing nothing to stop getting preg) where as I never had an issue bonding with my unborn surprise babies. Its hard to feel ok talking about and I have a hard time remembering that this is normal.

I don't know what to say to make you feel better JwithJ. :hug::grouphug:

Sarah is right

I've felt the same on & off through this pregnancy. It was planned, but happened quite quickly and then I questioned whether it was the best 'plan' to make. I've got an almost 2yo & am dreading some aspects of having 2 in 2 years. But I remember it was a process of bonding with the first. And for all the stress caused (she has always been a really, really, really bad sleeper), I now can say whole-heartedly that even if I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing with her. I assume the same will happen with this one...

TBH, there will probably be days through the pregnancy, & then even after the bub is born, that you'll feel detached from them. But there will be more days when you love them. A lot of it has to do with how much energy you have - so take care of yourself & I think you'll find that the better you feel yourself, the better you'll feel in relation to the bub :)

I'm so sorry you're feeling so down. I hope you start feeling better soon, or at least the baby is not far off, so you can look forward to holding your little one. Pregnancy is really such a hard thing to go through, you have no idea how it will make you feel, what emotions you will endure. Maybe take the last few weeks to focus on yourself, get some really good rest, get your haircut, etc, pamper yourself, and then hopefully it will cheer you up, and get you prepared for your little bubba. all the best :D

i just had a thought to, could it be as you are so close to the end the reality of it is all sinking in, or not hitting yet? i remember with dd i wasnt sure i would know how to love a girl (as if its realy diffrent to boys:shakehead:) hope its just a case of it all feeling to surreal like its not realy happening, after all it is a hard concept to get your head arround, one day you have a big belly, the next you have a bub.:o

i think that might be wat it is sarah also i think since i havent been able to find out the sex ive found it hard to connect with the baby KWIM?

your great for having made it this far not knowing!!! i wouldnt be able to cope i would have gone nuts, i was paranoid at the end with dd they got the pic wrong on the scan and she was a third boy, it got to the point i ended up with 2 hospy bags, one girls and one boy! once you know and can get the definate coulors im sure you will have a great bond. xxx

:hug: No advice sorry :hug:

:hug:

thanks guys even just hugs help :hug: for everyone

sorry, to hear, hun :hug:

it can be pretty surreal until they're out.

take heart, take five, spend time out for yourself, if it makes you happy, spend some time daydreaming about what it will be like when they're here ... :)

but don't beat yourself up about it, because it's easy to feel this way.

hope you're feeling better soon!

Hun, I feel a bit the same.

With number 1 there was so much focus on organising a nursery etc; and even same for number 2 as they have their own rooms.

Until I find out the gender of this baby I can't really do much but look at my growing belly and feel the butterflies ;).

Don't feel bad hun, I bet you'll be overwhelmed with love when you first set eyes on your precious bundle

xoxo

:( JwithJ :hugs:

It seems just from the replies here that you're certainly not alone.. chin up chicky.. it's good to talk about the difficult things.. get it off your chest.

many :hugs: for you

Just another thought....

First baby you kinda feel really bonded and so in love with your baby and that is the only kind of love you have ever known as a mum with a child and then that baby is born and you find out what love really is and your heart has to stretch to fit in the love you feel so then when you are preg with number 2 you feel like you are less in love with that baby than you were the first but really its just the same as you had with your first before they were born, you just dont realise it....I really hope I've written that so it makes sense!

The love will come, maybe at birth or it might take a while, either way is ok and there is no need to feel any guilt, just keep sharing and talking and you will get there.

I think maybe spend some time in your babies room and I can understand that it would be hard not knowing your babies gender but just sit and relax, shut your eyes and imagine doing things with your baby, sitting and breast or bottlefeeding, which ever you will do, bathing your baby and maybe just sit and massage your belly with some cream and sing and talk to your belly. Maybe go and have a pregnancy massage and even have a little baby shower, I know its your 2nd so you mightnot want to go the whole way but maybe just a morning tea and girly movie as a last chicks thing before baby comes and just say no gifts, maybe make a belly cast or go for a 3d scan, all of these things might help you bond :hug: I hope something I've said has helped!

thanks jas i didnt think about it that way but that makes sense

Hun, I felt like that. I still kinda do & she's on her way! Its only been the last week or so I've actually thought about the tiny baby cuteness. Before that it was 'what am I doing to myself??'
It is scary, but you will feel better xx

:hug:

Tbh I hate to say it but I feel the same. I just think I'm waiting for something bad to happen and I cant feel it so I'm feeling detached.

I'm sure once your bubby is here it will be completely different :)

Ah, you're having such a rough run atm, what with lack of sleep, I'd be surprised if you felt even vaguely human!

Be kind to yourself and don't put pressure on yourself to feel anything. TBH even though I had no distractions and an easy run, it wasn't until DD was born that I felt love for her truly. :hug:

No real advice but there will be so much love when bubby comes out :D hugs til then

Massively big hugs JwithJ, :hug: I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, but I am not sure what to say. I couldn't read and not let you know my heart goes out to you. You have come so far, I can't believe Bubs is nearly here, seems like yesterday we were in the TTC group lol.
I think from myself having a loss before this pregnancy I refused to believe it would result in an actual baby. So I spent the entire 1st trimester not letting myself get too excited, or bond, even at the 12 week scan. My DH would rub my belly and talk to bubs telling him to grow "big and strong, big and strong" and I would just look at him like "don't be silly, there may not be a baby yet". Well, I have managed to get past that, only as I had to, but still feel nervous that I may not get my baby in the end. But I figure once Bubs is here I will feel completely different, as I am sure you will too.

Hang in there you are right at the very end. All the best, and I look forward to seeing your Birth announcement xxx

I haven't bonded with either of my bubs before they were born. It takes a couple of months of getting to know them for me to feel attached to them. I think there is a strong expectation in society to feel instant love for our unborn/newborn babies but I see it as unrealistic to love someone you have yet to meet, especially when you don't even know what gender it is iykwim. But maybe I am just a cold hearted biatch lol