Do you kids have to be on you/with you/ near you ALL the time??

My kids are driving me insane. They both have to be near me at all times. They can't be in a different room playing while I am doing something like washing dishes or whatever. They have to be there with me. I could have been playing with them for ages and then get up to do something while they're occupied, and they will drop whatever they're doing and follow me. DD is especially bad for this. It's making me crazy. I can't be anywhere without them.
This morning I lost it and yelled at them not to follow me after I left them playing with their trains. They were so occupied together, playing nicely, building tracks ect...but as soon as I got up to leave the room, DD dropped the trains she had ans got up to follow me, so DS did too. So I yelled...she burst into tears, but I just can't handle them on me, in my space, nattering at me...24/7. I need a bit of space. I cuddle them alot, I do things with them every day but still they are in my armpit no matter what I do. I'm going bananas. I seriously count down from Wednesday to Wednesday which is when they go to childcare for the day. Just so I can breathe, pee without an audience, walk around the house without them trailing behind me, no matter where I'm going or what I am doing.
So do you kids do this too?? Follow you EVERYWHERE!? DD is 3 1/2 and DS is 26mths. What can I do to stop them??

DS is 23 months and follows me too......

I hear you!!!

I was just complaining about this exact same thing to my husband last night. Mine are good sometimes, like now they are playing together and leaving me alone but it won't last for long and they will be back climbing all over me again. For me its more that when they are on me, especialy the 3 y/o its really painful. She wiggles, pushes back, digs her elbows in places they shouldn't go, pulls on my clothes etc. I feel like I am being beaten up all day!! It makes me a little sad at the moment cause I am finding it hard to enjoy her company :cry:

I don't really have any tips for you, i will be watching to see if someone else does though.

Add a 10 month old to those ages and you've got my house too. I love Wednesdays and Fridays when DS is at care. And now DD goes on Friday's as well so I just have DD2. Its lovely.

Yup.... she's on to me sneaking off too LOL.

My two are no different - DS1 particularly, cos he can run.
Mostly it's cool, but there are days where I will close the door or gate (we have internal stairs) after explaining that mummy just needs a moment and "you'll be ok" and just block out the howling protest. It's usually only for a minute or two anyway, but you'd think I was going on a month-long holiday.
And now DS2 is on the move, so he can track me down too.

:

---

I hear you!!!

For me its more that when they are on me, especialy the 3 y/o its really painful. She wiggles, pushes back, digs her elbows in places they shouldn't go, pulls on my clothes etc. I feel like I am being beaten up all day!! It makes me a little sad at the moment cause I am finding it hard to enjoy her company :cry:

---

Ditto. DD is really pushing my buttons right now. I tell her the same things day in day out yet she still does it...I love her to death but she's making me crazy. Being 6 1/2mths pg isn't helping...my lap isn't a big as it used to be!

:

---

Add a 10 month old to those ages and you've got my house too. I love Wednesdays and Fridays when DS is at care. And now DD goes on Friday's as well so I just have DD2. Its lovely.

---

That's what I'm worried about...when I have this bub, I'm going to have him strapped to me all day (which I totally expect being a tiny baby) but I will also have the other two on me following me....I'm going to go around the bend. I just don't understand how they can be totally absorbed by what they're doing but when I leave the room the stop instantly and follow me to do the most inane things like wee...:rolleyes: I don't get it.

Yep, I've got a 9 month old who is permanently attached to my boob, hip or leg. And on the odd chance she is sleeping in her own cot, DS is right behind me watching me pee, shower, or wanting my cup of tea.

Not really, I mean yeah sure sometimes they wont leave me alone but also they go and play together in their rooms or are happy watching cartoons.. Just depends on the day :P

my 2 are constantly with me too DD2 is worse as DD1 is at school during the day but like you i cant even do simple things like the dishes or shes there 2 with a chair right next me putting the clean bowls in the water ive just washed them in and getting water everywhere! I havent pee'd alone except at night for as long as i can remember or had more than a 2 min shower due to an audience or her emptying all bottle in the bathroom whilst im trying to shower!

I have no tips on how to get kids to play alone for a while happily but if you find out let me know!

Miffy, you're a lucky lady if your kids give you a few free minutes. It's not like I wnt half an hour alone or anything...gosh I would give my left leg to be able to just pee without an audience. I only ask for 15mins here and there through the day....I lost it at them again today when I was trying to sit on the lounge and read a magazine for a few mins. They had been outside eating their arvo tea and I went in to relax for 10mins while the load of washing finished, but as soon as she had finished her last 1/4 of her sandwich, DD was inside on the lounge rest on me with her elbows digging into my belly. I lost it cause she hurt my tummy, then told her to get outside until I came out and finished hanging the washing...ARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

lilias my DD is exactly the same. The minute I sit down she wants to climb and sit on me. Once she does that she is all sharp angles digging in. :) You are lucky that you only have an audience at the loo. My DD has started trying to help with toilet paper :lol: It's a little disconcerting trying to fend off little hands

Oh yes!! I was just commenting on this today when I'm home dd is with me constantly but with dh she is different, she can play quite independently when it's just him with her. I'd love to go to the toilet on my own!! Lol Donna Emily thinks she can help with toilet paper too!!

My 4 are constantly following me. Its a competition to spend time with mummy I guess and its constant fighting for my attention. Luckily Sienna and Aiden will go and do their independent things from time to time. Bella and Ruby are real mummys girls. Sienna loves DF and follows him all day saying dadada. Hes definitely her favourite.

im the opposite situation...mine sometimes leave me alone for an hr or so and i get bored and go looking for them LOL...the girls(7,4 and 3) can play barbies in their rooms for up to 1.5 hrs (ive timed it....). The little man will follow me around from time to time, but then a bit of fluff on the floor, or something becomes more interesting.....:)
I think with age they may grow out of it...and who knows, you maybe become like me and start following them......

DD (4yo) wants to be near me or DH constantly, if I put her movie on in the lounge and DH and I watch something in our room see either ends up in there with us or at least coming in for cuddles and "love you" 's every 5 mins lol She always asked to have a shower with me when I'm about to have one, she always has to come with me if I go out, she checks on me when I'm on the toilet, she has to come get the washing out of the machine with me. I don't really mind but it does get a little too much at times and I'm also worried about how she's going to handle school next year, oh well we'll find out soon!

:hug: I snap some times to, nothing worse then when you need just 5mins to yourself and you can't get away. Not even the shower/toilet is safe in our house and if I say go play or watch your movie I get "aww", personally I hate that sound now, it's my nails on a chalk board!

Ahhhh yup!!! I did find that Iggle Piggle or Yo Gabba Gabba can sometimes buy me maybe half an hour if the timing is right lol. That and some toast or a sandwich, hands and eyes are both occupied then. Mind you, mostly, I don't get anything done really other than cleaning up from making toast/sandwich and maybe making a cuppa before the calling out starts!

yes yes and yes.

DS is the worst but DD is loud and in your face and I'm well not. Though mbear's right it is an age thing. DD has started to go off and shut her door and do her own thing for a bit now, or take herself outside and play so I get a bit of reprise, but that's usually when the tag teaming starts.

yes... DD always seems to be sitting on one of us or following us everywhere. The boys aren't as bad but if we are all watching tv or something then they are right on top of us...

:

---

I think with age they may grow out of it...and who knows, you maybe become like me and start following them......

---

I'm still waiting for mine to grow out of a whole list of stuff. Some she has, some she hasn't.

I have one of each kind of kid. My toddler is extraordinarily good at keeping herself entertained, and since she worked out how to open the fridge, the back door and the car she barely needs us at all. Her catchcry at the moment is "NO. I doing it by MYSELF" and you know about it if you invade her personal space or worse, try and help her with something. Miss Independant eat your heart out.

Other one (who is almost TEN) is constantly bored and alarmingly bad at keeping herself entertained. She needs to be around people all the time. If she does play alone she has to show you what she's doing every few minutes (yes, I timed, she's better now but she used to not be able to stick with anything without talking for more than 7 minutes), or at the very least she has to be within shouting distance of you so she can shout what she's doing. It drives me completely bonkers that she can't even watch TV by herself without yelling about it constantly. She can't even read a book without telling us what is happening in it. Fortunately she has discovered we live about a block from several of her friends so she visits them a lot, and of course she's in school most of the time. I'm really looking forward to her hitting puberty and starting to keep secrets, although with her past track record I have a feeling I'm going to get the blow by blow minutea of everything she does with boys.

The baby doesn't count in this discussion, he's a 3 months old velcro baby and he's only happy if the milk bar is within his sight :)

DS 10 months is definitely permanently attached to me! I can relate to the helping with toilet paper, or hanging off my legs while I try to make something to eat in the kitchen, sometimes if I put him in his high chair so he can see what I'm doing he'll be happy but usually that's not good enough he has to be on me. I still haven't mastered buttering bread/toast with one hand, any tips??
He is now asleep in his cot:hooray::jawdrop: the first time in ages he has let me put him down to sleep, so I am writing this post with out him grabbing at the keyboard and mouse or shutting the computer down lol
I nearly dropped him into the washing machine yesterday trying to reach the last of the washing, I guess I really should have had him in the ergo :p
Yes it is driving me INSANE! But I have to go back to work in 5 weeks and I'm dreading it!!!! :( As much as I want 10mins to myself, I really don't want to leave him for that long, so I feel a bit pathetic being so nuts about him being on me 24/7 I feel like I should be enjoying it, but it's still making me crazy:confused:

Oh yes, I often have 'help' with going to the toilet too....four little eyes watching me pee, four little hands trying to help me wipe....four little hands trying to close the toilet lid the moment my butt is off it...twenty little fingers trying to push the soap dispenser for me to wash my hands....you get the picture. DS almost shut the toilet lid on DH the other day as he was peeing....lol, that was a rather funny moment! Made me glad I have to sit until I finish peeing, lol!!
I expect babies to be pretty well attached to me all day, up until about 18ish months or so, then they should be able to play for 5ish mins on their own I think! In increasing blocks of time!! At least be in the same room and be doing something other than what you're doing, like building or something while you are making the bed or tidying up or what ever, but my kids have to be 'helping' or sitting on me or nattering at me. Or they just stand there and watch. Especially DD.
But you know what the upside is, today is Wednesday....for me that is the most wonderful marvellous magnificent day of the week.....my kids go to childcare and I can do as I please for 7glorious hours!!!

Mine have all gone through this. I have a theory that it's worse the more stressed out i am. You would think that a child that you have just yelled at to PLEASE GET OFF ME FOR A FEW MINUTES!!! would cower away and want to leave mummy alone. They don't. They do the opposite.

From what i have read it's a primitive survival instinct to stay close to mumma if mumma is agitated. Ok so picture Mumma CaveWoman out gathering nuts and berries in the forest... Mumma Cavewoman senses danger and is agitated. No words need to be spoken... CaveChild knows from past experience that danger usually follows soon after Mumma is agitated. So they learn to stay close. If Mumma is relaxed, calm and content then the Cavekids know from past experience that all is well and they should be able to roam freely and explore. This is the law of nature.... humans are animals so why wouldn't it follow that our kids have the same survival instincts as other animals? Like said, just my theory.

A few years ago my chronic thyroid condition was bad... it affected my moods and i felt the heat sooo bad... the last thing i wanted was a child clinging onto me all the time... my youngest, i think, responded to my agitation by being clingy. He is getting better though now that i am am more relaxed and feeling the cold! I wouldn't mind a child to get some extra warmth from these days! LOL

I could be totally wrong... this just outlines my sitch and my theory... i have lots of theories though LOL

Good luck! Maybe act like everything is ok in your forest (even though you might still feel a bit stressed about other stuff) and they might feel ok about scampering off to play :)

ETA: I read your post and i hear you that they also seem to stop what they are doing when they are playing and everything is ok... until you leave the room. Have you tried leaving for a very short stint then returning? Doing it for increasingly long periods a bit like controlled crying (hesitant to give that as an example because i don't do it personally)... but YKWIM? just nip out for a sec... return... nip out for two secs... return etc... until they couldn't be bothered following and trust that you'll return?

Bathsheba, I have tried everything, from sneaking off out of the room, to saying 'I'm just going to....(whatever/wherever)'. DD will up and follow me without hesitation, even if she is playing with her most prized possession, even if they are happily doing something together or eating or.....anything!!! She is in my armpit alllll day. DS does it only because she does. The other day DD fell asleep late for her day nap(about 3pm) and DS was up and about on his own with me. He was quite happy to be in the toy room building with the wooden blocks, he had a snack without me sitting next to him. I just checked in on him occaisionally, he saw I was there, would say 'Look I build!' and that was that he was fine on his own. It made me feel more like actually sitting with him and playing because he wasn't depending on me to be there to interact with him, kwim? With DD I have to make an effort to do it because she's so dependant on it, like she can't do it without me and she aaalllways ends up ON me. Touching me, in my space, in my face. Makes me reluctant to want to be with her. But at day care the teachers tell me she's so independant. She will run from me when we get there, she's not overly attached, we don't have separation anxiety or anything. That's why I struggle with it at home. She drives me bonkers!!!!!
I don't understand it either because she has never really had separation anxiety for me. She is confident and happy when we go out, she makes friends with strangers in the park (kids, lol!) she is an independant child. I give both of my kids lots of cuddles and kisses in the day, DD and I snuggle on the lounge together of a night, we read stories, I talk to her about her day....she gets lots of attention otherwise. I try to reason with her, tell her I need space or I just want to go to the toilet or whatever it is and I won't be long, I will be back in a few mins. She still follows...arrrgggh!! She probably just does it to annoy me....I can't think of another reason!

I must be hard :hug: But she isn't doing it to annoy you. I'm fairly certain of that. It just seems that way. Please try to eliminate that reason otherwise you'll really start to resent her and not her actions. Does she have any other behavioural issues that you think are unusual for her age? Are you the only person whose space she constantly invades? I'm no expert but I'm sure there are strategies to help children of her age to respect your physical boundaries. Maybe ask her day care teachers for some ideas? Rest assured she will grow out of this and within 10 years you'll be lucky to get a hug from her if she follows the path of most teenagers. In the meantime look for some strategies. And remember to "catch her being good!" the minute you catch her sitting by herself say "Thankyou darling for not sitting on me today... sometimes it's uncomfortable. I'll let you know when I need a hug though". what you need to achieve is to get her seeking your approval instead of demanding a connection that is invading your space.

I think that its a normal part of development for some kids, although infuriating!
My nieces are 4.5 and only now becoming more independant.