Do you help or at least offer???

I have had MG here a few times now. The kids get all the toys out of the toybox and they are all over the house and backyard. Now - I have NO problem with this, I actually like that they play with the stuff but when it comes time to leave everyone just gets up and leaves. No one puts anything away or even offers to. Whenever i'm at others places I ALWAYS make Miss J help put away some toys and offer to help with dishes or whatever. I was always taught that was good manners.
It doesn't just happen here either, it happens at others houses too.

Is it just me who does this? Am I weird for doing this?? It kinda annoys me that I end up having to clean up everything at the end.

Ugh, that IS annoying.

I have a 6 month old who doesn't yet play with the toys that the others do - but I still help tidy up!! It's manners if you're at someone else's house!

Unless of course you guys have an agreement that the person who hosts does the tidying at the end - but if you had that agreement, then you wouldn't be posting here hey?

Maybe bring it up the next time you're at MG, but make it like an activity at the end for the kids to do?

Sue x

i always offer always..most times the mums say not to worry, as i do at my own house, but id rather offer than not offer at all

I go to MG, but at a hall, and it's expected that everyone helps out to pack away, kidlets included (if they're capable!). But if I go to someone's house with my kids and they make a mess, I always pack it up and help do dishes if necessary. Like you, I was taught that's just how it is! It's nice manners and a way to say thanks for your effort.

at playgroup it's a given that everyone helps tidy up at the end. It's not at anyone's house so I guess it's a bit different, but i still think it's rude of them to just leave without even asking if there's something they can do. Kind of teaches their kids that it's ok to go to other people's houses and leave your mess for the host to clean up...

Yep, I'd start packing things away / cleaning, unless they said it was okay, at which point I would double check
I would expect the same in return, or at least an offer (even if you are going to say no, it's still nice to know someone is willing to help)
From the belief that you treat others as you wish to be treated

I ALWAYS offer and ALWAYS make my kids at least attempt to pick up after themselves. I won't leave someone's house in such a mess if my kids helped make the mess.

I've never offered to do dishes though... lol

If you are hosting it, maybe you could try taking the initiative? When it is coming to an end and people are getting ready to start going, get up and say " OK everyone, lets all help tidy the toys away." You can direct this at the children, but loud enough and clear enough that the adults pick up on it too. If they still don't help, just say quietly to them "Oh, do you mind picking up x, y, z before you go?" Most adults wouldn't have any problem with that. :D

our MG we get all the kids to pack the toys up now that they are old enough, before that though all of us would pick them up and tidy...i would feel weird leaving a trail of toys that my DD had created and not clean it up iykwim.

hmmm great example they're setting for their kids....go to someone else's house run riot and leave....

nup, I'm a help pack up even when they say no thanks girl.

I think they should offer and try to make some kind of dent in the mess... but personally, i am a bit of a freak when it comes to sorting out DS's toys, so i would kind of actually rather do all the cleaning and sorting myself lol. Even if someone offered to help clean up i would either be a nazi and follow them telling exactly where each toy and bits peices go or i would smile and nod and as soon as they left i would re do it all anyway :p (which would be more work for me coz i would have to find all the bits to all the toys!! lol)

The offer is always nice though- and i would never refuse an offer for dishes (although i have a dishwasher now.. and yep- self confessed anal freak when it comes to packing and that too:shakehead:)

I think next time your at someone elses house, make a big thing about offering to help pack up and see how it goes- start up the clean up tradition and get everyone involved... on the other hand-if people run for the hills as soon as you mention helping.. it might be time to find new mums to hangout with!!

I've gotten to the point that it depends on where I am as to if I bother.

I've always been one to help out - we don't go to MG, but at family, etc. I do dishes, clear tables, tidy toys, etc. But when the people I help out don't bother, and leave me with a bomb of a household (we keep tidy over here) and a sink full of dishes, I stopped doing it when I went to their place.

It annoys me too because the people I'm talking about all know that I keep things tidy, yet they never even offer a hand. I have the same thing with bringing a plate. I never ever ask anyone to bring anything, but am always told what to bring, specifically, and it's usually an expensive dish too.

I always make the kids clean up what they have played with at someone else's house, the dr's, or anywhere!

It's utterly rude not to if you ask me, they should at least offer.

Hmm thats a hard one actually. Whenever I go to Sterla's place, sometimes I leave in a hurry cos I'm late, so I don't clean up, sometimes I do a half hearted attempt at cleaning up and she tells me to leave it, and then I'm distracted by the feat of getting 3 kids in the car.... but she never says anything other than - "don't worry about that"

STERLA - DO YOU WANT ME TO CLEAN UP?!?! LOL

But whenever people come to my house, I don't expect them to help clean up the toys cos the toys were already all over the place when they got there, and if its someone like Sterla - well she's only got 1 child, I have 3, so mine make triple the mess hers does anyway!! Plus, I have certain spots for all toys, so I kinda prefer doing it myself anyway. I remember someone coming around and cleaning it all up, and then I went through and put them all back in their correct spots anyway :lol:

Of course if its someone's place that I don't know that well, I would clean up, and I clean up at docs and stuff like that :)

I always help clean up, even if its only a small amount. Ds is at the age where he can put away his toys at home so why should it be any different anywhere else. Usually i dont say anything to the host, i just say to ds 'come on Byron, lets pack up a little before we say bye'.

I host my MG once a month and it irks me to no end when i'm left with a huge mess to deal with by myself as NO ONE in my group bothers to even offer. Last time they were all here i was 36 weeks pg and they still didnt offer, grrrrrr (sorry overdue pregnancy rant lol)

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STERLA - DO YOU WANT ME TO CLEAN UP?!?! LOL

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Nah Mel, she's cool. I don't mind tidying up.

We have playgroup at a local church so we all pitch in and pack up and take turns to vacc and sweep. It's done very fast when everyone pitches in.

And now to address the actual thread topic...

We have our MG at different houses, and sometimes people offer to help pack up (or start to anyway), and sometimes no one does. When they come to my place, I expect the mess, but I don't mind if they help pack up or not. I try and remember to offer to tidy up most times, but if DS has started getting crabby and it's clear he just wants to go, well then we just go. And you know, quite often when I offer to tidy up, or start doing it - I get told, "Oh don't worry about that".
When the mess is at my house, I don't mind - it doesn't take long to tidy up anyway, and it sure beats doing the dishes or scrubbing the toilet, lol.

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Yep, I'd start packing things away / cleaning, unless they said it was okay, at which point I would double check
I would expect the same in return, or at least an offer (even if you are going to say no, it's still nice to know someone is willing to help)
From the belief that you treat others as you wish to be treated

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I feel the same way... I like at least to have the option to say no.

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If you are hosting it, maybe you could try taking the initiative? When it is coming to an end and people are getting ready to start going, get up and say " OK everyone, lets all help tidy the toys away." You can direct this at the children, but loud enough and clear enough that the adults pick up on it too. If they still don't help, just say quietly to them "Oh, do you mind picking up x, y, z before you go?" Most adults wouldn't have any problem with that. :D

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I'll give it a go :)

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I've gotten to the point that it depends on where I am as to if I bother.

I've always been one to help out - we don't go to MG, but at family, etc. I do dishes, clear tables, tidy toys, etc. But when the people I help out don't bother, and leave me with a bomb of a household (we keep tidy over here) and a sink full of dishes, I stopped doing it when I went to their place.

It annoys me too because the people I'm talking about all know that I keep things tidy, yet they never even offer a hand. I have the same thing with bringing a plate. I never ever ask anyone to bring anything, but am always told what to bring, specifically, and it's usually an expensive dish too.

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Maybe I should try that at thier house. Then again..my conscience would get the better of me. I totally get you on the food thing too!

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We have playgroup at a local church so we all pitch in and pack up and take turns to vacc and sweep. It's done very fast when everyone pitches in.

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We do this at playgroup too! :)

I always try and pick up at least what my kids have played with - I usually give them one tidy up job to do too before we leave - like 'DD1 can you put all the dress ups away in that box?' and I find it works well for us.

I also try and sweep/wipe up after my kids have had something to eat, if they have made a huge mess on the floor. It is easier for me to clean it up after my kids have finished eating for the person whose home it is to have to have to clean it up once it is walked all over the house.

I have friends that come here and TBH, I would prefer some of them didn't 'help'. It is so half hearted, unenthusiastically and sloppily done that I just tell them not to bother. I don't really appreciate all the toys being thrown away wherever, especially by people who know that different toys belong in different boxes - like all the duplo goes together but they throw it in whatever box is just lying around the place so I end up with duplo in 10 different places. I would rather do it myself because it is less effort than having to go and sort all the bits later.

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Maybe I should try that at thier house. Then again..my conscience would get the better of me. I totally get you on the food thing too!

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It's tough when you do it the first time, but the next time they come and don't help you, it feels a lot better :hug:

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We have our MG at different houses, and sometimes people offer to help pack up (or start to anyway), and sometimes no one does. When they come to my place, I expect the mess, but I don't mind if they help pack up or not. I try and remember to offer to tidy up most times, but if DS has started getting crabby and it's clear he just wants to go, well then we just go. And you know, quite often when I offer to tidy up, or start doing it - I get told, "Oh don't worry about that".
When the mess is at my house, I don't mind - it doesn't take long to tidy up anyway, and it sure beats doing the dishes or scrubbing the toilet, lol.

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Yeah that's generally how ours work too... TBH I've never really been too fussed about it, often my DD makes the most mess anyway!

But I do go to two playgroups that are in halls and everyone is expected to help pack up - its a bit different.

i always make my kids pack up the toys before we leave someones house its just the right thing to do in my opinion. like my inlaws were fixing there paddocks fences which are right next door to us and mil brought over lunch for them used our plates and they all just left them everywhere that annoyed the hell out of me!
at my own house im a bit different with kids and toys i dont mind if others dont clean up toys that kids have played with coz my kids will more then likely empty the whole toy box again before the get out of the door

I make a game of packing up with DD and she likes to help so i ask her to pick up toys and I make sure she does put them away. At my playgroup we all pitch in at the end to make sure it's clean for the next group as we expect it to be for us. Although a bit peeved because someone *****ed about it