please help me before i kill my dogs!

hi everyone....

ok so here it goes....

i love my dogs, i really do, but today they have pushed me to the edge and to be honest if they ran away i dont think id bother chasing them!!!

so im 29w with complications so im fragile atm.

my dogs have always been number one in the house and we havnt changed anything to do with what they are and arnt allowed to do in regards to babies room, what not because we are hoping to incorperate baby into our world with them...

we let them in her room, they are used to her funriture because we have had it since last year due to our angel baby, they get to sniff and look at everything brand new that comes into the house for baby, there is nothing for this baby they havnt seen or smelt.

come about 4 weeks ago they started to take things from say the bedroom when we are out. if its raining we keep them inside so that we dont have to bath them everytime we get home. so things like my slippers, shoes, bed cushions, empty boxes in the kitchen get bought into the lounge room and played with...
now they know this is not on, they are 4yrs old and were taught from puppies what was and wasnt toys.
they have toys everywhere so its not like they have nothing to play with either!

so the final straw came today when i went out for half an hour and they took a bear my best friend had made for us with baby's name on the shirt and ripped they eye out.
after everything we have been through this baby and her stuff are so precious and for them to take something of hers has sent me wild. im ao angry i cant stop crying, yep over a bear with a eye thats been ripped off.

good news is its fixable but its not the point.

i didnt think it was a jealousy issue considering we have made them part of everything that has been happening but now im not so sure...

if anyone has any tips or advice id love to hear it!!!

id rather not kill them today from the anger :shakehead:

Aw Crumpet

As you know I'm a major furbaby lover. I know you love your pooches.

Maybe the dogs can notice that you are putting more effort into these things and the things specificallly in Wormettes room? I truly don't think that they know the difference between one soft toy (ie your babies bear) or their soft toy (a squeaky carrot!).

Sometimes the best option is 'prevention is better than cure'. If it were me....I would just not allow them access to the babies room where the things in there are precious to you. Perhaps also get them a couple of new toys so they can have something new and interesting to them to play with.

Don't be angry...you don't need it. Just relax...enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and enjoy your pooches.

I know it is hard sometimes but do try. Give them a pat and an ear scratch, forgive them, then shut that door!

xx

In relation to babies stuff, my pups have to learn that they need to be invited to touch/smell/be near. Yes i want baby to play with them when she is older and to grow up with them BUT they need to know child is above them in pack order and this includes babies stuff. If they wanna check out babies cot while you are there fine, but you don't want them thinking they can do that whenever they feel like it.

Have you thought of putting a gate on the bedroom door, they will be able to see in but not get in.

My beagle became different when I was pregnant. More attentive, would follow me around, when she's always been more loyal to DH than to me. I wasn't treating her any differently than before (she was 3 when DD was born) but she knew something was up. I'd say your dogs can sense something too and that could be why they're being naughty. Maybe if its raining and you want to keep them inside, maybe in the laundry or bathroom instead of free reign of the house? Or close the doors to rooms that might be becoming a problem. I'd also get into the practice now of teaching your dogs what you plan to do when the baby is born - ie, I'm assuming the dogs won't be allowed in the baby's room if baby is in there and you're not, etc. They need to learn all of that now because no matter what your intentions are, their world is going to be flipped on its head when baby comes home in just learning about the pecking order with this new little person in their life.

So sorry to hear that your furbabies took it upon themselves to play with something so precious. I can totally understand how upset you must be. I think with regards to Baby's room especially, there needs to be some boundaries. I love what Rivlas suggested about putting a gate on the door (unless they are big enough to jump over it). Otherwise I would suggest that the door needs to remain closed. Dogs aren't like people, if they have always been allowed to go wherever they like in the house they will not know that it's not O.K. to go into Baby's room and take the cool new 'toy'. So if all else fails - just shut the door on them. Good luck and try to stay calm and relax.

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In relation to babies stuff, my pups have to learn that they need to be invited to touch/smell/be near. Yes i want baby to play with them when she is older and to grow up with them BUT they need to know child is above them in pack order and this includes babies stuff. If they wanna check out babies cot while you are there fine, but you don't want them thinking they can do that whenever they feel like it.

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I agree!

Hun, I'm so sorry your dogs almost ruined your precious bear. We have two jack russells that were the most spoiled creatures on the face of the earth until our DSs were born. They still have a good life, but nothing like the luxuries they enjoyed BEFORE babies.

All I can suggest is close bub's door, or use a gate. The pups just don't "get" that the bear was precious to you. I guess from their perspective, it's just another toy and is fair game to them.

I'd agree that you're better to create some boundaries for your dogs now, rather than after the bub arrives because that's more likely when any jealousy will set in. About three months before DS1 arrived, we kicked the dogs out of our bedroom and started limiting their access in and around the house. I felt like a terrible "mother" to start with, but it was in our and our bub's best interests. And the dogs too - they needed continuity before and after the baby, so it was best to make changes well in advance of bringing bub home.

Hope you get your bear fixed and things work out ok with your dogs. We love ours to death, but some days ...... !!!

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In relation to babies stuff, my pups have to learn that they need to be invited to touch/smell/be near. Yes i want baby to play with them when she is older and to grow up with them BUT they need to know child is above them in pack order and this includes babies stuff. If they wanna check out babies cot while you are there fine, but you don't want them thinking they can do that whenever they feel like it.

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Completely agree with this. As much as you love your doggies the baby must come first and the dogs need to understand this, so best to start now before the baby comes along. Springing it on them when the baby comes is a sure way to start the whole 'jealousy' thing.

Personally I think you need to set some boundaries. I think its really important for dogs (any pets really() to know their place in the family. ATM it sounds like they think they equals with you. Once baby comes they will think they are higher then her in the ranks. They need to be at the bottom of the pecking order.
I think its wonderful you treat your dogs so lovely & allow them so much but I think its time to make some changes & set some firm ground rules.
For example, I can understand having them inside while its raining. But if you are not going to be home I would restrict where they can go inside. (What breed are they?) If they are small I would just let them int he laundry. If they are bigger then maybe close all bedroom doors & only allow them access to the main living area's.

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I truly don't think that they know the difference between one soft toy (ie your babies bear) or their soft toy (a squeaky carrot!).

I know it is hard sometimes but do try. Give them a pat and an ear scratch, forgive them, then shut that door!

xx

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i agree hun i dont think they realise its not their toy, even though they had to get it out of a bag...

it took me till this morning to feel like i could pat them without causing them harm in the process! :lol: but im happy to say we are friends again, and they are being VERY well behaved so far today.

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Have you thought of putting a gate on the bedroom door, they will be able to see in but not get in.

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we had been thinking about that and that was as far as it had gone, but we decided that we will be definatly getting a gate becasue i dont want her door closed but dont want them in there when she is asleep so perfect solution for that problem!

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Personally I think you need to set some boundaries. I think its really important for dogs (any pets really() to know their place in the family. ATM it sounds like they think they equals with you. Once baby comes they will think they are higher then her in the ranks. They need to be at the bottom of the pecking order.
I think its wonderful you treat your dogs so lovely & allow them so much but I think its time to make some changes & set some firm ground rules.
For example, I can understand having them inside while its raining. But if you are not going to be home I would restrict where they can go inside. (What breed are they?) If they are small I would just let them int he laundry. If they are bigger then maybe close all bedroom doors & only allow them access to the main living area's.

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one is a boxer and the other one is a jack russell.....
we had been closing our bedroom door becasue of items being pulled out and i really didnt think they would get something out of a big bag, i know the boxer has to be the one who grabbed it becasue the jack russell is to small to be able to even see in the bag :rofl:.....

as of last night we have been a lot more on the ball with making them sit down in their bed at night not roaming like they usually do, and just in general making them do as they are told or they go outside for 5 mins, its slowly registering.


thank you all so much for ur tips and advice!!!

its greatly appreciated and im going to work really hard with making sure they realise they arnt as high up in the food chain as they think they are atm!
its going to be hard not to spoil them like we do now, but it has to happen so might as well get cracking on it now!

oh and i do love them again today! :lol:

Yep, time to start working on some pack order fundamentals.

I would first of all put a gate across baby's room so straight away there is a boundary there. Teach them not to dash through the gate when you're going through it.

When DD arrived, we had a rule that the dog was *never* allowed on the couch/lap when DD was on the couch/lap, and he was not allowed in the room when she was on the floor. This meant he spent a bit more time in his "doggy condo" in the laundry for a few months, but he came out when DD was sleeping, and he had lots of rawhide chews and kongs etc to keep him entertained.

Eat your dinner first and make your darlings "stay" or "wait" until you give the ok. Teach them the leave it/take it command and then train them to "leave it" against a few baby toys. Do it now before baby arrives.

You can still give your doggies love & attention while maintaining pack superiority for your offspring. Extra play time when bubs is asleep keeps your doggies amused and means there won't be "competition" for your affection.

Our lounge/kitchen is open plan so we would really long fence /gate to keep the dogs out of the lounge. We now have a playpen with the dog's beds inside it which keeps them away from baby's stuff if i have to move & can't monitor them. It will also give them some respite away from her when she is crawling & liable to bug them. Just thought i'd mention it.

we have trained them from puppies so they know that they dont eat until after us, if we hand feed them something we say "gentle" quite sternly and they nibble it out of our hands and they know when u are inside u sleep on ur bed.
sometimes the bed thing goes out the window if they want to lay in the sun, or if they decide to be silly, which if they carry on now i boot them out for 15 mins and they are then allowed back in.

i plan on getting a play pen for times where i need to leave the room and baby is in her swing or on the floor so they cant get near her, when she is moving ill be putting them out until i can supervise them all again....

ive been out today and they went outside so we are making small amounts of progress!
DH is letting me do the new routine as such because im the one home with them all day everyday, in the hope they respond to that, they do as he says straight away, it takes me 3 goes usually.

im determined and ill stick to it because i dont want hassels when she is born.


when u ladies had ur bubs, did u send clothes/blankets etc home with ur DH for the dogs to sniff??
did it make a difference?

i thought id get DH to place a few around the house, so on the couch, in her swing and bed, places where she will be so that they get used to her smell for when she does come home?

Curmpet - I didnt do the blanket thing but i conditioned charl to a babies cry by playing them on u-tube. I didnt fuss over max when charl was around so charl knew he was just like part of the furniture IYKWIM. I put up a gate at max's door and charl just ended up sleeping outside his room.... no gate.

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Curmpet - I didnt do the blanket thing but i conditioned charl to a babies cry by playing them on u-tube. I didnt fuss over max when charl was around so charl knew he was just like part of the furniture IYKWIM. I put up a gate at max's door and charl just ended up sleeping outside his room.... no gate.

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oh thats a good idea.... i might down load some noises like that and play them randomly as well....

ive got all these "plans" of what ill do, hopefully it works!

im happy for them to come into her room if im there and to be near her if she is awake to sniff and stuff so i have to work out the best way to introduce them all so there is no jealousy issues.

Crumpet - we didn't do the blanket thing, but when we brought DD home, we brought the dogs outside to the car so they could "meet" her on neutral territory. There are brochures you can get about bringing baby home when you have pets - we got our brochure from the midwife who ran our baby classes, or you could probably get one from your local MCHN clinic.

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Crumpet - we didn't do the blanket thing, but when we brought DD home, we brought the dogs outside to the car so they could "meet" her on neutral territory. There are brochures you can get about bringing baby home when you have pets - we got our brochure from the midwife who ran our baby classes, or you could probably get one from your local MCHN clinic.

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thats a good idea hun thank you!

ive got ante natal classes tomorrow so ill ask the middie about info on pets and babies while im there!

im really determined to make this as smooth as possible

Crumpet, the play pen might not be enough to keep them out. One of our JRs was completely fascinated by our newborn DD, not aggressive at all, but overly interested. She scratched her head and face at six weeks so we learnt the hard way that under no circumstances were the dogs to be in the room with the baby unless one of us was present. We put gates on all the major doorways where DD could be left, so bedroom, lounge room, dining room and kitchen. We only needed three gates because of the house set-up. We also had to get tall gates because our JR could jump over the normal sized ones. Turns out she can also jump over the tall one, but didn't bother.

DP did bring home something of DD's to smell, but I'm not sure it made any difference. We were very careful to implement any changes to the dogs' routine months before baby arrived, with the exception of the gates. We put them outside and shut them out a bit more often too, during the day. If baby is going to be sleeping in your room, for eg, I would start putting the dogs to sleep in a different area of the house where they cannot get into your room. We also played the baby crying, but again, I'm not sure it did anything. ;) We introduced them (on leads) outside the house (ie before we walked inside), walked DD inside first and put the dogs outside for a little while, with a bone.

Apart from the scratch at six weeks we haven't had any trouble with the dogs and DD. Once she could sit and crawl both dogs had settled down and DD could do anything to them. They have had a few incidents where her toys were taken, but not for long enough to cause unfixable damage. ;) DD LOVES the dogs to bits and they are both very attached to her now, at 4.5.

PS We asked our vet about tips on introducing our dogs to the new baby when I was pg, she gave us some info and all of the stuff above came from her.

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Crumpet, the play pen might not be enough to keep them out. One of our JRs was completely fascinated by our newborn DD, not aggressive at all, but overly interested. She scratched her head and face at six weeks so we learnt the hard way that under no circumstances were the dogs to be in the room with the baby unless one of us was present. We put gates on all the major doorways where DD could be left, so bedroom, lounge room, dining room and kitchen. We only needed three gates because of the house set-up. We also had to get all gates because our JR could jump over the normal sized ones. Turns out she can also jump over the tall one, but didn't bother.

DP did bring home something of DD's to smell, but I'm not sure it made any difference. We were very careful to implement any changes to the dogs' routine months before baby arrived, with the exception of the gates. We put them outside and shut them out a bit more often too, during the day. If baby is going to be sleeping in your room, for eg, I would start putting the dogs to sleep in a different area of the house where they cannot get into your room. We also played the baby crying, but again, I'm not sure it did anything. ;) We introduced them (on leads) outside the house (ie before we walked inside), walked DD inside first and put the dogs outside for a little while, with a bone.

Apart from the scratch at six weeks we haven't had any trouble with the dogs and DD. Once she could sit and crawl both dogs had settled down and DD could do anything to them. They have had a few incidents where her toys were taken, but not for long enough to cause unfixable damage. ;) DD LOVES the dogs to bits and they are both very attached to her now, at 4.5.

PS We asked our vet about tips on introducing our dogs to the new baby when I was pg, she gave us some info and all of the stuff above came from her.

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sounds like my jack, she has this obsession with babies, just loves to sniff and sit next ot them..... i see ur point she could fit through the rails in a play pen.
mind u i think she is small to jump very high its a struggle for her to jump on the couch( which she isnt allowed to do but has brain fades here and there!).


thanks for all of ur info!