Would this be wrong to use this girls name?

DH and I absolutely love a girl's name and I've always loved it and when my older sister had her daughter 3yrs ago I was 'quietly' disappointed that she chose that name for her daughter's middle name!! (she never knew I loved it). It's such a beautiful name and she used it for a middle name!!! :lol: anyway... each to their own.

The point of this thread is.... would it be wrong for DH and I to ever consider using that name for a first name if we have another girl? And if we did have it on our list, would we need to ask her permission first? I just think it's wrong to have to 'ask' permission to use a name.... I think if I did ask her, she'd say "no way" LOL!!

We have loved that name for ages. I would be worried she'd think I had copied her :rolleyes: we're not that close as sisters..... I'm closer to my friends than I am to my own sister.

What do you think? we have plenty of other gorgeous girls names we love so it doesn't matter if we never use it but I often think about it, if we could?

TIA :D

I don't see any reason why not hun. If you love the name use it. It isn't like it is the first name and they are cousins who will have the same name iykwim. When do people even use middle names other than on a birth certificate?? (Says she who gave her son 2 of them :rofl:) Anyhoo after all that waffle I say yep just do it and don't even ask them!

Go for it Shanti, you don't need any one's permission to use a name. Later on, if your sister gets upset over it, you can frame it as a compliment.

I don't see why you couldn't use it. It's her daughter's middle name and only she and you will know because most people forget baby's middle names once they aren't babies anymore. I also don't think you would need to ask permission. If you love it, go for it. If your sister doesn't like it, she'll just have to get over it especially if you don't tell her what you are naming your baby until he or she is born. Once you've announced what you are calling your baby to all your family and friends, it will be much harder for your sister to argue with it.

Out of courtesy to your sister I would tell her what you are doing so she doesn't get surprised, but I certainly wouldn't be asking her permission. Unless the name has never been used by anyone else in the world, and she has made up the name from scratch and owns the intellectual property over it - I would say its free for ANYONE to use ;)

I just say the out of courtesy thing cos I gave DS the same middle name as my sister gave her son (middle name also) and she cracked it big time because I didn't tell her I was going to use it. Meh - Michael is a common middle name, and DH likes Michael Jordan and thats why we picked it - not cos my sister gave it to her son.. LOL

I dont think there is anything wrong with using it. If she has used it as a middle name surely she would be unlikely to use it as a first name in the future?

I see no reason why not, my sister and I were once pregnant at the same time and loved the same boys name so we agreed that if we both had boys I would use it as a first name and she would use it as a middle name. It never happened but it was no drama.

Hmm, I'm on the other side, having had this done to me. I chose the name I wanted for my daughter years ago. Everyone was aware of it, but it was then picked by a close family member as their child's middle name. They were pregnant first, but I was already pregnant when they announced the name. I was pretty upset. I know its only a middle name, but if it wasn't important, then why give it at all? For me, these people often did as I did and it was driving me batty as it was, so I couldn't sit back and not tell them I wasn't upset by something that really mattered to me. So they changed their middle name - and then someone they knew heard their new name, liked it and used it, and my family members were upset so they totally got where I was coming from then.

I'd probably be open and talk to your sister. If you aren't close, then maybe it won't be an issue, but in my case, the whole family is close and we've always made sure that each name is unique from each other.

Just as another aside I wanted to use my sisters DD's name for a middle name for our DD, in the end DH didn't like it and want it for that reason by my sister was quite upset that we didn't - a bit different because we are close but she may not mind at all.

We had a boys name picked for ages, before we were even pregnant, and one of DH's cousins used it. We were annoyed but given we hadn't told anyone we couldn't really complain. Made finding a boys name we liked hard, but we did.
The name we both love for a girl is a cousins' middle name, and we mentioned that we liked it and would like to use it. The mother said we were silly for thinking we had to run it past her, and the little girl thought it was awesome the baby could have her name

I say go for it! My DS has my nephew's middle name as his first name. It was my Dad's name originally and very special to both of us. I didn't tell her or ask her permission, but I did feel a bit nervous announcing the name! She didn't care, loved it in fact. My nephew is 11 and thinks it's just awesome his cousin is named after him lol!

My niece has the same middle name as DD2 and both DD2 and I were delighted. DD2 thinks its so special that they share a middle name particularly as mum, DD1 and I share a middle name.

I'd probably let her know before you used it. But you shouldn't have to ask her, she doesn't 'own' it!!

Id just do it :)

I dont see a problem with it but i would let her know before hand

Definitely consider using it :) If you wanna use it, then go for it

I have said it many times before here in bb. No one owns a name
If you want to use then do.

Me and my sister will both be using Claire, My sis as a middle name if she ever has a daughter and we may use it as a first name but more likely as a middle name...

I honestly don't think it matters that much if it is her DD's middle name, first name might be a bit weird but if it's a name you love then use it!! No point changing it when it might not even matter!
I would maybe just say "Hey I am using this name as the first name of our DD as I have always wanted to, just wanted to let you know first." so she isn't shocked or something

I think it would be different if it were a first name... not middle name.
I also agree with what some of the others have said, maybe just let her know that you like it and may use it :)

Yeah if you love it so much, then definitely consider using it. If you decide on it, just mention it to your sister so she doesn't get surprised. You never know, she might feel flattered that you're using it!

My next door neighbour loved my DD1's middle name and just asked if I minded if she used it for her DD2. I was fine with it - I see them just about every day, the girls are all in CC together so I think we are closer than cousins in terms of the amount of contact the girls have. Funnily enough I don't see her DD2 as having the same middle name as my DD1 - they are individuals so give a different spin to the name if that makes sense :dunno:

Thanks so much everyone for all of your input and different views on this!

Certainly given me lots of thought! :D