WDYT of TTC 6 months after birth

Hi all,

Just looking for some opinions. DH and I are eager to TTC #2. We both have been wanting a big family.

When I suggested to my mum we were going to start TTC in January, my mum suggested it was a selfish thing to do as DD would be 16 months old (or there abouts if we got BFP straight away). Surprisingly my dad and some friends feels the same way :o

I have always imagined having kids close together, so they grow up together and can share similar interest, play and ofcourse fight (LOL).

What do you think? For those that have had babies close together- did it work out for you and did you body handle it ok?

TIA :)

Hey? Selfish?

I always say the best gift we gave our girls, was eachother:)

I say if both you and DH and ready, go for it! A lot of women have a massive fear for the 1st while ttc #2 or being pg with #2, I was one of these women;)

But how silly I was! The most AMAZING thing is watching them together:)

:hug:

I loved having my first two kids 15 months apart, and would have been delighted if we had them closer together but it took me a few months to concieve (we were trying from 6 weeks postnatal). It was great when they were babies as we were already in the swing of restless nights, nappies, etc. Now they are older they are best friends. Yes it is tiring but if it feels right for you, then go for it :D

I wouldn't call it selfish, just your choice.

It's not my idea of a good time, but hey, that's my choice :)

Go for it if that is what you want

My sister and I are 18 months apart and so are my brother and I, we loved it growing up, we were always together, having adventures and my sister and I became best friends as teenagers. We are planning on ttc number 2 when this bub is about 6 months old, saying that though I may change my mind depending on how the birth goes!
I say go for it, it's not selfish at all.

Go for it! It isn't selfish at all. Actually I loved having a sister around my age (13 months apart). Good luck with TTC!

if thats wat u and ur hubby want to do then do it! stuff everyone else.
We have and we're so glad we did

Tell them that's 16 months of one-on-one time that baby number 2 will never get! I think the benefits of having a sibling WAY outweigh any negatives.

Everyone has an opinion, wish some would learn to keep it to themselves! Do whatever makes you happy!

My nieces are 12months apart and they are so close....she said it was hard at the start because they were both in nappies, both on bottles and said it was double of everything...but now she loves it...

Dont worry about others...you just do what suits you and you're partner and what you're happy with because at the end of the day its you're lives....

My 2 are almost 19 months apart. I didn't once consider it selfish - how very odd! I considered it a gift, to give to my child a sibling. My DD will be 3 in a few weeks and I'll have a 3 year old and a 4 year old - until DS turns 5 in March..LOL!

If it's right for you then Woo Hoo bring on bubba number 2 :D

We have 4 years between ours but that worked for us.

If your DH and yourself want it, go for it! It's not selfish and you will know what's best for your family

I don't think it is selfish at all! It sounds like you and your DH have had a good chat about it and are happy with your decision, so go for it!
We do things for us, not anyone else. So don't let anyone try and tell you that you are doing the wrong thing.
Listen and take on board what you want but discard the rest :hug:

I can't really talk about how the kids interact (one being "gone" and the other still gestating) but on the physical side, my body seems to be handling this pregnancy quite well. There was about four months between me giving birth to Ianto and getting pregnant with Cookie, so less than you've said. My muscles in my belly are a touch sore (all the time!), but that might just be normal pregnancy pains rather than related to the closeness of my pregnancies. I say if you want it, go for it!

I had hoped to start TTC when DS was around the same age, but as I didn't get AF back til his first birthday it was somewhat out of my hands! I really want my kids close too, I thought they could play together and while I'm used to interrupted nights and nappies I may as well continue with it lol.
At the end of the day it's YOUR choice. If that's what you and your DH want to do, don't worry about anyone else :)

i don't think it's selfish at all. but i'm not going to lie, it's hard work, especially in the toddler years. but the relationship the kids has is really beautiful to watch.
my body didn't handle it very well, i suffered very bad depression and anxiety as a result of no iron after dd was born, and have yet to lose any weight. but i'm still happy we did it the way we did.
good luck xo

Wow everyone! Thankyou soo much for all your posts. I can't reply individually but I have read them all so thankyou.

Thankyou for those that commented regarding the relationships between siblings when they are close together in age being enhanced as they grow up toegether. That is what DH and I expected...

And those that commented on it being hard work- we totally expect that too and figure while we are up changing nappies, juggling feeds etc we might as well keep going.

Also on the physical side of giving birth- thanks Tenibear for your comments and Boobaloo- just wondering if you knew you had an iron issue during or after birth?

Oh, and Chessel monster- I have had 2 AF's out of the 4 months- I completely forgot one needs AF back before TTC :rofl: whoops...LOL..

Thanks everyone, your thoughts are appreciated :)

completely up to you and what suits your family, i would have thought! i'm the eldest of 6 kids in 9 years, 13 mths between myself and next brother, then all pretty close. we were close growing up, and all very close as adults. I had hoped for my chn to be around 18mths apart but didn't work out that way. i'm not sure why bringing a new life into the world is selfish, but i get that sometimes when i talk about ttc #3

Agreed with everyone else! Mine are 17 mths apart, love each other dearly and I can see already how close they will be as they get older and what great friends they are. Do what is right for you and stuff what everyone else thinks :hug:

my iron was in the low end of the normal range during pregnancy, i had taked iron tablets but they made me vomit even more so i stopped. about 10 weeks after dd was born, i noticed i was really tired, then started having panic attacks / getting depressed, when they did blood tests they found that my iron level was 8 (the lowest you can be and 'survive' is 50), so mine dropped very significantly, very quickly. i did have c/s though, and my period started straight away as i couldn't bf dd. but it is something that you can easily keep on top of during your pregnancy, and request that it gets checked at your 6 week post-birth appt.

I did have probs with my iron during my pregnancy- something I am trying to keep up on now..Its amazing how much it impacts on our physical/mental wellbeing well something soo small is out of wack!

I have been thinking about the 'selfish' comment that people like to make in regards to having babies, but really, when does anyone ever have babies for unselfish reasons? You have a baby because you want one. Full stop! So, therefore, everyone is selfish for having babies so go right ahead! Haha!
I fell pregnant again when DS was 4 months old. Unfortunately we lost that baby but I would have loved to have two so close together after having a ten year age gap between #1 and #2! We are TTC again and I really hope it happens soon :)

Goodluck!

Best of luck with TTC Stoked:crossfingers:

My mum felt that I was being selfish because I wouldn't be able to focus and love DD as much:o

I would never ever stopped loving my DD...EVER!!!

I think mum has some issues she isn't telling me about as she really has an opinion on it. I said to her last night "you know mum, you have had 4 kids and there is only 6 years between the oldest and me (being the youngest), does that mean you love Louise less? "(Lou being the oldest)..Stumped mum abit but she is still passionate about me waiting for 5 years before TTC again... :dunno:

Anyways, I have been having AF monthly since gumnut has been born but have missed the last 2 so it looks like it may be awhile before I can TTC :(

I must be the most selfish person on earth then :) My first two are 12 months apart, my 2nd and 3rd are 15 months apart and my 3rd and this baby will be 16 months apart. I think my kids love having each other and they play so well. It has it's more difficult moments but I don't know what it would be like otherwise. There are some great advantages to having them so close - I don't have a school run in the mornings and afternoons, they all get on really really well, I've done some toilet training with them all together and they seem to benefit from doing it together. The only disadvantage that I can think of is that it has taken a slight toll on my body - I have done back to back pregnancy and breastfeeding for 4 years now (sometimes even overlapping) and I do have to have an iron supplement because I just don't make enough and somedays I do clean up an awful lot of poo but apart from that, I really enjoy having them so close together.

It's really about what you want and what you think you can handle. I know people who have much bigger age gaps and love that too. DH and I just decided what would be better for us and mother nature agreed so I was able to get pregnant quite quickly each time (part of the reason we didn't wait with DS - my 2nd - is because it took me 15 months of TTC for DD1 and we wanted to start sooner rather than later in case it took a while again).

Sometimes the hardest thing to do in parenting is decide what is best for you, your family and your kids and tune out to everyone else's opinions especially if they are the opinions of people that you really respect. I didn't think that having DS took anything away from my relationship with DD1 though I did worry about whether I was doing the right thing while I was pregnant a lot. I think that is normal no matter what age gap you have.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do and I hope that everyone will be happy for you and respect your choice :)

Our bubs are exactly the same age and I feel EXACTLY the same way you do, though my DP doesnt feel the same way :(

I originally wanted to TTC #2 in Feb but the other half wasnt convinced he wants to wait 2-3 years :o but he says if it is to happen sooner than its meant to be.
I haven't told anyone in my family only my SIL and she at first was like dont worry what others think do what you want to do and then when i thought i was pregnant it was "it will be alot of hard work..blah blah blah" and i understand that but being a mum is all i see in my life at the moment. I LOVE every moment i am with my DD and yes there are times where i have a hard time but they are VERY rare and thats usually when i am already stressed and it just builds up.

FWIW, i have pcos and my cycles are very irregular and i only got one AF and then O'd that month and had one accident and fell pregnant lol

But yes do what you and your DH want to do dont let anybody tell you otherwise, no one can tell you how long to wait.

GL :)

Delph just saw this thread... My two are 16mths, so the same as what you would have if you are successful with ttc.

They are already great friends - I think you have already read a bit about what we have struggled with in our BB group!

But the way DS smiles at my DD, it is too precious for words!

As for how my body handled it, I'm fine! I had to take more supplements as I continued to BF DD up til I was 32wks, so I was on elevit plus extra iron, calcium and vitamin d tablets.

DS was also pretty big as you know and as a result of his size and the closeness to my first pg, my pelvic floor muscles are a bit slack, but it's getting better with exercise.

Apart from that, all good!

I think it's a bit strange that your mum wants you to wait 5yrs!!

5 years seems a bit long to wait if she knows you want them close together, I wonder why she picked that period of time and whether she is trying to change decisions she made through your actions :dunno:. Anyway it sounds like her issue, not yours, so if you want yours close together then do it. And if you want to wait 5 or more years then do it. But do it for you, your baby and your partner, not your mum.

I think 5 years is way too long too, it does sound like she is trying to deal with her own issues through you.

I have been thinking about the age gap with my kids, 22 months between dd1 and dd2 and 17 months for Ds and dd2. I would rather have them this age than a bigger gap it just seems to make more sense to me. The nappies, bottle feeds and toilet training will all be over sooner rather than later rather than having to adjust again.

The hardest thing for us is getting dd2 to be gentle with Ds, I can't leave the room with him on the floor. She is getting better though, and everything she does is out of love she is just a bit rough

Like everyone has said if it feels right for you then go for it!

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Anyways, I have been having AF monthly since gumnut has been born but have missed the last 2 so it looks like it may be awhile before I can TTC :(

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Is there a possibility you could already be pg?

:yeahthat:

I had the exact same thought!!!

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The hardest thing for us is getting dd2 to be gentle with Ds, I can't leave the room with him on the floor. She is getting better though, and everything she does is out of love she is just a bit rough

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I hear ya!!! We are in the same boat but DD is slowly getting better. I learned the hard way to always make sure DS was strapped into the bouncer (after she tried to lift him out :o ) and also to make sure he is far away from where she is playing! Toys sometimes inadvertently get a bit to close for comfort otherwise!

theres almost 18 months between my 2 and so far so good like they said u'll be out of nappies etc way earlier we dont have bottles DS uses a sippy cup and im BFing DD
DS is acting out a little but i think that might be his teeth rather than his sister coz she doesnt really do much or get in the way of me and him unless im feeding cant wait till shes old enough for them to play together i can actually seeing it going very well

Do wat u want not wat others say its ur body and ur life :)

Totally your choice and I think a small gap is great! When bub no.2 arrives for us, DS will be 21 months old and I think, had I had some help from family (they all live far away), we would probably have had an even smaller age gap!

Just one consideration however, which I am not sure if anyone has mentioned previously - just be aware of morning sickness: fortunately this time around it wasn't that bad for me and DH has been working from home and could help. First time, however, it was acute and I still don't know how I would have managed with a tiny baby all by myself, being that sick (I know many women have before, but I am just talking about me!). I probably just need to toughen up, but nonetheless, I thought it may be something worth mentioning and considering :)

Good luck - I wish you well on your TTC journey :)

In regards to the pregnancies while looking after toddlers. Medication was my friend for ms. With dd2 I had spd and then threatened pre term labour so I was on bed rest for two weeks. With ds it was easy until 34 weeks ctx started and then bed rest for 6 weeks so I did need a lot of help from family and friends. I had kind of forgotten that so it's a good point to raise! I have recovered pretty well just no to time to excercise this time so the weight is hard to shift this time around my tummy.

there is 19 months between ds1 & ds2, i was roughly a few weeks pregnate on his first birthday, if df had it his way we would have been trying when ds1 was 2 weeks old (thats when he asked for another!) there will be 13 months between dd and bub no4, she was 5 months old when we found out we were having another. if everything worked out to the "plan" we had, we would only just be thinking of trying for no 3! my dads family are all for it, more the merrier is most of there view points! my grandparents had 12, so big family and grandma never shows favourites towards any of them, nor dose she to any of the now 30+grand and great grand kids!
my mum on the other hand still hasnt warmed to the idea of new bub, she was trying to convince me to get rid of, but didnt mention it once i told her were to stick that thought!!
the boys do have there days, like today were they cant be in the same room, but generaly get along great, now ds2 seems to be getting out of the "horrible 2's & 3's" they have alot more sit down and play times then they have had so im hoping that it keeps up!!
ive got bad iron aswell, apparently my body has trouble absorbing it, but with the right supliments you can always keep on top of it best you can!

good luck with it all, and if you both want another, then poo to your mum! she had her kids, the least she can do is let you have yours!

gees some people need to keep their opinions to themselves don't they?
Selfish or not, it matters none to anyone except you and DH. :hug: babe, sometimes our families don't think about the full effects of what they say.

We started TTC our #2 when DD was 6months old.....sadly after a loss at 12 weeks some 18months later it then took another 2 cycles to get DS.

Go for it, if thats what you want!!
My little man is only 5 weeks old, and we want to start TTC at 6 months, anyone who i have told this to thinks we are crazy, but DH & I have always wanted them close together, it took us 6 months to fall pregnant(lost baby at 12 weeks), then another 6 months to fall again. In saying this though, i know we could fall straight away this time but i am more than happy if this is the case, they still would 16 months apart or so!!
I get excited thinking about another child as i am so in love with this one, i can't wait to meet another little human that DH & I create!!
Good luck TTC!!

I agree that it's a great thing, for all of the positive reasons mentioned above!

My two boys are 4 years and 18 mths and its great watching them grow and my eldest loves helping out with his brother....but i wouldnt have had them any closer together..