How did you stop breastfeeding your baby/toddler to sleep?

How did you stop breastfeeding your baby/toddler to sleep? I'm looking for methods and success stories here :)

DD has just turned 1 & is still BFed to sleep. I am almost ready to stop - but I don't know if she is.
There is also an extra issue with us, as DD is very fidgety so still has to be swaddled at night, or she wakes herself up. Not sure if the swaddling issue has to be resolved first. ???

She is very squirmy at her 6.30pm feed (done in the dark in her bedroom)
- arching her back, stretching her legs so it is hard to hold her.
But if I put her in her cot awake, she screams. I can't deal with that sort of cry.

I dream of the day I can put her in her cot awake, say goodnight, and let her fall asleep without tears!

I have just started putting DS in the cot after feeding to sleep and co-sleeping for the past 11 months! It's not easy but I think it's working!
I feed him until he is sleepy, but not asleep, then I put him in his cot which is next to our bed and I pat his bum until he is asleep. He does cry for a bit but he knows I am there and he is safe.
The first time took an hour of crying and patting, this morning's nap took ten minutes! I was so happy! It has only been a few days too! I am planning continuing the patting then just placing my hand on him then just sitting beside the cot then gradually moving out the door!
I, too, can't wait for the day I can put him down, say goodnight and voilÃ*!!

Had another baby! LOL

When DS was 2 months old she'd become sick of having to wait for him to finish feeds before she could have one. We had dummies in the toy box because she never used them so we kept them for her baby dolls & one day she picked one up & started using it. She now puts herself to sleep with her dummy.

I'm going to crash this thread with the hope of getting some guidance too :) Still feeding my 17 month old to sleep for both nap & bedtime and each waking at night LOL (Which is pretty darn frequent right now!!)

Maybe another baby in the answer ;) hahah

I fed both my girls to sleep for a long time. When I had enough and it wasn't that effective anymore I started feeding until they were sleepy and then cuddling, rocking to sleep. Once I got them used to being cuddled to sleep I started putting them in the cot almost asleep but still awake and rubbed their tummy or patting their back, then I slowly stopped that and now they both go to sleep beautifully on their own. sometimes they need an extra cuddle or like me to sit with them, but not regularly.
You can and will get there! One thing I read in a book, was it doesn't matter if one night it's not working , it's ok to go back to cuddling or feeding to sleep, and then start again the next sleep. It's not failing or going backwards, it's all progress. :hug:

I was thinking about posting a similar thread as im working on this with DD. She is 27 months old, and i have always fed her to sleep. for her day sleep she falls asleep on me and i put her in her bed asleep. For the night sleep i lay next to her in her bed (she is in a big bed) and feed her but she rarly falls asleep while she is feeding anymore, i normally just lay next to her till she falls asleep.
Im 23 pregnant and starting to find it hard to lay on the bed and get up quietly after she is asleep as im getting quite big so im trying to change it a bit. Last night i fed her in her chair and put her in her bed and just sat next to the bed holding her hand till she was asleep, took ages though!! Il keep doing this till she goes to sleep better then il start sitting in the chair and slowly get closer to the door. im sure it will take months...hence whyi started now, so hopfully by the time the next baby arrives she will be doing it on her own. Il start to work on the day sleep when the night sleep is better.
She no longer feeds thought the night, i just told her that she was a big girl and didnt need booby in the night, for a week or two she would still wake up and id just give her a water and lay with her, we had a few bad nights but lastnight was the first night she woke up over night for about three weeks. And she told me its becasue she woke up and i wasnt sitting by the bed anymore so its just the change in the night routine thats makeing her wake up.

Like a PP said, i think you just have to decided on a way, like patting etc and stick with it, it will probably get worse before it gets better. good luck

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I'm going to crash this thread with the hope of getting some guidance too :) Still feeding my 17 month old to sleep for both nap & bedtime and each waking at night LOL (Which is pretty darn frequent right now!!)

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This is me too, so I don't have any advice sorry! Still feeding my 20 month old to sleep for day and night sleeps + he wakes often during the night and I give him boob then too (we co-sleep). Would love to get him to fall asleep without a feed and then sleep through!

Thank you for all the feedback. I am sure I will try one or more of those methods when I am ready, and when DD is ready. She is a bit of a firecracker :)
so if she isn't ready, she will make sure I know it!

I think I am going to really have to be serious before I start this -
all of you have had to put up with some level of crying and/or time-consuming methods like patting etc before you got some success.

BFing is a huge strain on me - BUT it is so quick at soothing DD and I don't have to deal with any crying.
But on the other hand, the squirminess at the bedtime feed is getting harder to control, and DD isn't getting any smaller!

I had a sudden moment of clarity, "no cry sleep solutions" is the book I read that was helpful. :)

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Thank you for all the feedback. I am sure I will try one or more of those methods when I am ready, and when DD is ready. She is a bit of a firecracker :)
so if she isn't ready, she will make sure I know it!

I think I am going to really have to be serious before I start this -
all of you have had to put up with some level of crying and/or time-consuming methods like patting etc before you got some success.

BFing is a huge strain on me - BUT it is so quick at soothing DD and I don't have to deal with any crying.
But on the other hand, the squirminess at the bedtime feed is getting harder to control, and DD isn't getting any smaller!

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Yes, you will have to wait til you are ready, I am at that point now! But I don't think our bubs will ever be 'ready' as such, but you'll know when the time is right!
It does take time and tears unfortunately, but it is a great feeling when you pop them down and it takes them two minutes to fall asleep while you are stroking their sweet little face! (that was my DS this arvo! I'm down to two minutes! Woooohhooooo!!)

Goodluck! X

OH also - If I stop BFing to sleep, that also means I can't BF when she wakes during the night either, doesn't it???..... That will be even tougher to deal with!!
When DD wakes at 5am, that's what puts her back to sleep until 7-7.30am....

EDIT: Sorry should also have said DD has her day naps on the boob too - so we are very firmly entrenched in feeding to sleep.

The more I think about it, the more I think we might have to wait until I can explain it to her & she can understand that BFing won't be happening anymore... so maybe another year! Not sure how I will go waiting that long though.

:hug:

Just go with the flow hun...it is perfectly normal for bubs to still be feeding to sleep at 2. By now though I can feed DD a bit and tell her its time to come off the boobie and she rolls over and goes to sleep. I HAVE to breast feed a bit though, because lying with her squirming for 45 mins does MY head in. I would rather a 10 min feed and off she goes.

i do remember a wriggly stage at about one. It did get better when DD dropped to just one day sleep...it meant she would be asleep in a few minutes flat by 7pm. (Now she is in bed at about 8:30 instead).

HTH

ETA: I night weaned DD a few months ago, but I still feed to sleep...so you can drop the 5am feed if you like, but I think that would just equal a 5am start to the day!! (We started keeping bananas by the bed, because for me, I prefer feeding to sleep than feeding at 3 or 5am...)

You can do whatever is easiest for you. At the moment I am putting DS to sleep in his cot for his night sleep then when he wakes during the night I bring him into my bed and he feeds as he pleases until morning. Sometimes I'll put him back into the cot after he feeds but he always ends up back in bed with us. I suppose once they get used to going to sleep without boob they won't be looking for it so much when they wake during the night. So eventually (I'm hoping!!) he will just go back to sleep on his own without needing to be fed back to sleep!

Your totally right, you have to wait till your really ready, its taken me months of talking it up in my head to be ready to stop feeding to sleep.
As for the night weening, it was quite simple for us, but like you said, DD is 2 and i just talked about it for a few days, then i just started offering her water and a cuddle, a few tears but i just kept telling her she was a big girl now and didnt have the booby over night, and now she doesnt even ask for it, it took a week.
I too remember a wiggly stage at about the same age as your DD, it passed, i dont know how quickly but i really enjoy our feeds to sleep now!

Thanks all. :)

We don't co-sleep so I think that makes our situation different again.
DD actually seems to be incapable of sleeping with us in our bed, funnily enough!
She doesn't want to lie down at all with us... wants her own space, I guess. :)

Beckoes - so does your DD wake during the night at all now?? Or does she still wake, but just doesn't ask for a BF?

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:hug:

Just go with the flow hun...it is perfectly normal for bubs to still be feeding to sleep at 2. By now though I can feed DD a bit and tell her its time to come off the boobie and she rolls over and goes to sleep. I HAVE to breast feed a bit though, because lying with her squirming for 45 mins does MY head in. I would rather a 10 min feed and off she goes.

i do remember a wriggly stage at about one. It did get better when DD dropped to just one day sleep...it meant she would be asleep in a few minutes flat by 7pm. (Now she is in bed at about 8:30 instead).

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LOL when I read that :) That squirming is sooo annoying - mine tosses and turns from one side to another! I'm leaning towards that the best time to try to stop the overnight feeds comes with the understanding of no more boobies at night - but I'd love to TTC again - and don't have my AF back because of nightfeeding - still at 17 months (oh and I've got mastitis right now too...grrr) did anyones AF wait for that long too? Sorry OT there...

I would actually be happy to still feed to sleep..just staying asleep is what I need!

with my DS2 who is almost 11months and wakes all the time at night...grrrrr....I've started feeding in his room as usual in the quiet etc and what I do is offer one side that gets him nice and sleepy then switching sides wakes him up a bit and whilst he is still sucking before he nods off on the next side I take the nipple out and then given him a little cuddle/pat then put him into bed. It does not always work, but is teaching him he doesn't go to sleep with the nipple in his mouth which I think is the prob not the food part. He won't take a dummy, think I am it!!!!

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don't have my AF back because of nightfeeding - still at 17 months (oh and I've got mastitis right now too...grrr) did anyones AF wait for that long too?

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Heda I believe that some people's AF doesn't come back until BFing stops completely.
I was hoping I'd be one of those people, because we aren't planning on having any more kids... unfortunately mine came back 2 months ago.

I've been keeping an eye on this thread as I started one myself recently to ask when people stopped feeding to sleep and how, so it's interesting to hear how people did it when they decided to stop it themselves. From reading this thread it really does sound like a hard slog... did it take a long time to achieve?

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The more I think about it, the more I think we might have to wait until I can explain it to her & she can understand that BFing won't be happening anymore... so maybe another year! Not sure how I will go waiting that long though.

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This is exactly my thinking with DS too. I don't want to traumatise and confuse him by suddenly refusing boobie - so I'm continuing to feed him until I think he is able to understand why he needs to cut down a bit! If that's another 6 months away then so be it. I do find it exhausting and annoying when he won't let me roll over and get comfy in the middle of the night, but oh well!

Oh and AF returned for me when DS was almost 18 months - had nothing to do with our breastfeeding patterns, as we haven't cut down at all.

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This is exactly my thinking with DS too. I don't want to traumatise and confuse him by suddenly refusing boobie - so I'm continuing to feed him until I think he is able to understand why he needs to cut down a bit! If that's another 6 months away then so be it. I do find it exhausting and annoying when he won't let me roll over and get comfy in the middle of the night, but oh well!

Oh and AF returned for me when DS was almost 18 months - had nothing to do with our breastfeeding patterns, as we haven't cut down at all.

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Yes, I have to agree - I'm hoping with a bit more age, will come some more understanding and we'll be able to get there as a pair, in comparision to me just saying 'no more boob!!!!'! LOL

I thought that when you reduced your overnight feeds that's when AF was likely to come back - but I am glad that I'm not the only one whose dear aunt hasn't visited for so long..I was really getting a bit worried..

UPDATE!

Just when I thought things couldn't get worse! In addition to all the problems I mentioned in the initial post, now she's started waking up every 2-4 hours... she hasn't done that since she was about 4 months old!
Who knows what's going on!
I was very happy with her 9-10 hour stretches of sleep - sure, I had to wake up between 4.30-5.30 to feed her back to sleep until 7ish, but I at least got 8 hours sleep in a row! (I go to bed early)....

I'm not sure if it is related to her currently fussy eating?
I really hope it isn't because she needs the boob to fall back to sleep whenever she wakes up at night?!! Well she's capable of sleeping through, because she has done it before, albeit briefly.
For a few nights before she turned 10 months old, she slept 11-11.5 hours a night... lovely!