Segregated b/f area! GRR!

Been meaning to post this since I got back from the UK.

DH and I were in Edinburgh and we went to a large department store to find a parents room so that we could do a nappy change and give DD a feed in the warm (bbrrr, it was chilly in Edinburgh!).

Anyhoo, the parent room had 2 sections, one for nappy changes and then behind this huge wall there was a large seating area to feed. I sat myself down and got a bit comfy so that we could have a good feed and was alerted by another mother (who was bottle feeding her baby) that "the breast feeding section is round there". :o

I looked and indeed there was a sign pointing round a corner to the "breast feeding area". :o And stuck round this corner were 3 seats in front of this huge frosted glass window.

I felt like a second class citizen! DH was furious!
DD didn't care as long as she got boobie :)

*sigh*

I've never seen that! Seem strange to me, and sounds like there were less seats in the BF area?

:o :o :o

ETA: Maybe it's so the bottle-fed babies don't get jealous? :p

:o what the??

I've heard there is still a bit of stigma towards BF in the UK, I saw a show on foxtel about a group of women campaigning to change ppls views. It's sad :(

Ugh that's ridiculous!!
Err, what was with the other mother pointing it out to you also? Build a bridge and get over it!

In my experience people in the UK can tend to be a little conservative so perhaps the BF Mummys actually "like" to be segregated? Just a thought.

Seems odd, and a little sad, though that were less chairs in the BF section...

:o:o:o

Sorry Sue that's all i have!

With some mothers i know with bubs DD age, they are all bottle fed , when i feed DD, they look at me like i am weird,Makes me feel awful when it shouldn't ..I hate all this ,I dont look at anyone else weird so don't do it to me.

I would have been shocked if i were you to say the least

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:o :o :o

ETA: Maybe it's so the bottle-fed babies don't get jealous? :p

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Bahaha!!!

Where did you go if you were using EBM? In between?

That's too too weird!

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In my experience people in the UK can tend to be a little conservative so perhaps the BF Mummys actually "like" to be segregated? Just a thought.

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Exactly what I think actually. I met a few friends for coffee who also had babies and (sadly only) 2 of them are b/f and they were soooooo self aware when we were out. In fact, one only met me for an hour because she didn't want to b/f in public. There I was sitting with my boob out (haha, not quite but I wasn't scared to feed in public)!!

Wow that seems really weird :p

How odd.
Those with EBM maybe have to stand in the middle or something :D

wow. my reply would have been, (in a nice tone) sorry love, but im comfy and am not ashamed of how my baby feeds, so if you dont mind" and continued on. when my kids were little, i use to pop them on and throw a bunny rug over them and my shoulder while i was walking round the center or were ever we were when they got hungry. (mind you they were only fed untill 4 months at the most, so still small and light!)

Wow! I'm shocked. And saddened. The bottle feeding mum shouldn't have said anything either.

Hmm... I don't think the states are too big on BFing either- I'm looking forward to raising some eyebrows when we move there :lol:

I have seen a segregated BF/FF parents room like that in Scotland. I was really shocked at first but my pal said it was because a lot of BFing mums are nervous about feeding in public, especially if they have a very new baby, so in the BFing only area they feel more comfortable to feed because everyone is in the same posistion. I did like it more than the parents rooms in some malls here where the feeding area is a small cubicle with a curtain round it for privacy. At least in the segregated area I didn't feel like I was in a box :lol:

But overall I prefer a nice big feeding room where all parents can mingle regardless of how they are feeding their bubs. But then I am not nervous about feeding in public.

I actually had a conversation with a mum in the parent's room recently because of how the b/f mums are made to feel like we have to sit in the little cubicle behind a curtain. I always sit in the chairs where the curtains aren't, or I leave them open if I have to.
It is sad that b/f mums have to 'hide', it isn't like we are doing something wrong by feeding our babies... I don't have to get my boob in everyone's face to feed, and I don't feel the need to cover bub's head when doing it

Maybe it was more for the privacy of BF mothers. I know my mum always preferred to feed alone in a room away from everyone else. Not because she cared what everyone else thought (or saw) but because to her it was something very special and intimate that she wanted to share just with her child away from all the hustle and bustle. She also said we were very easily distracted and fed a lot better when we were focused on the boob and not everything else around us. And she wanted to only focus on us and not be disturbed or having to make conversation when all she wanted to do is spend time with us and watch us feed. It was her 'special time' when she could sit back and relax. I think there's nothing wrong with that! :D

:blink:

What if you're b/fing and then do bottle top-ups? are you supposed to relocate?

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I have seen a segregated BF/FF parents room like that in Scotland. I was really shocked at first but my pal said it was because a lot of BFing mums are nervous about feeding in public, especially if they have a very new baby, so in the BFing only area they feel more comfortable to feed because everyone is in the same posistion. I did like it more than the parents rooms in some malls here where the feeding area is a small cubicle with a curtain round it for privacy. At least in the segregated area I didn't feel like I was in a box :lol:

But overall I prefer a nice big feeding room where all parents can mingle regardless of how they are feeding their bubs. But then I am not nervous about feeding in public.

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I think you have a valid point there but I think like you said at the end that it should be a everyone welcome area and not segregated. Maybe if it wasnt taboo in a PARENTS ROOM to breastfeed infront of those who dont then who knows; those mothers may go on to feel more comfortable with the idea of themselves, or others, breastfeeding.

I can remember breastfeeding DS3 at Taronga Zoo when he was nearly 10mths old on a park bench right at the giraffe pen. Some people gave me death stares and Dh loudly exclaimed that it was quite funny people were cooing over the baby giraffe BREASTFEEDING but giving dirties to a human being doing it. Its ridiculous.

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I've heard there is still a bit of stigma towards BF in the UK, I saw a show on foxtel about a group of women campaigning to change ppls views. It's sad :(

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Yeah, I saw an article on it. Apparently they're a bunch of prudes. My friend is glad she's having her baby here

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:o :o :o

ETA: Maybe it's so the bottle-fed babies don't get jealous? :p

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:rofl: funniest thing I have heard in a long time!

I don't think it's a bad idea to have the option of privacy for mums who prefer it. Some mums really don't like bfing in public, especially if they have more difficulty being discreet like mums with large breasts, feeding twins or using nipple shields. However I don't like the idea that mums aren't welcome to bf in the open area if they prefer it. I personally wouldn't have moved, but then I'm one of those "difficult people" who plopped myself down on the floor of shops to feed if DS didn't want to wait for the parents room (or if I couldn't be bothered taking the boys to the other end of the centre ;) ).

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I don't think it's a bad idea to have the option of privacy for mums who prefer it. Some mums really don't like bfing in public, especially if they have more difficulty being discreet like mums with large breasts, feeding twins or using nipple shields. However I don't like the idea that mums aren't welcome to bf in the open area if they prefer it.

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:yeahthat: I'd have said "Oh, thanks, but I'm fine here" and carried on with my business. I assume that the feeding areas are there for those that want them... not because that's the only place to feed, ITMS?

:hug: I totally get the need/want for privacy (when I first was learning to bf, I loved those curtained cubicles where I could let it all hang out while we figured out our groove), but then I suppose if attitudes were more accepting, maybe they wouldn't be needed anyway. I'm sorry you were asked to move though. That doesn't seem very inclusive or fair. I remember as I got better at fairly discretely feeding that I'd just plop myself on the comfiest looking couch in the parents room and shun the single armchairs with high arms (err?) in cubicles or hidden behind a curtain.

There's one thing to provide an option but another to say "go to this area". Whenever I have been in one they've always had screened areas or cubicles too.

I just don't agree with BF mothers not being allowed in a certain area
But i agree with everyone who said some woman do want privacy so it is great to have an area , that they can be comfortable in

When i first started to BF i wanted privacy coz it was all new and i was nervous around ppl when i was doing it , then i got over it and was ok with it, not i am at the stage where i will feed my DD anywhere BUT i find most times i do need a quiet place with minimal distractions coz DD wont feed properly will keep pulling off to look around etc

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I don't like the idea that mums aren't welcome to bf in the open area if they prefer it. I personally wouldn't have moved

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Yep- I agree. I was with my sister when she was feeding on seats in the middle of a shopping centre once and a cleaner told her where the parent's room was. I was rather peeved but she just said thanks and stayed where she was. I don't recall ever feeding in a parent's room (maybe a couple of times if I couldn't find anywhere else to sit?) but I was never told about somewhere else to feed so I must have looked too comfy for anyone to butt in ;) I always fed on seats in shopping centres etc, or generally in a cafe/food court so I could sit and enjoy a snack & drink at the same time.

Screw it altogether, I do it in the food court :lol:

I do understand that some mums want privacy, fact is, that screen isn't there for breastfeeding mothers to feel more comfortable;-)

I would do it in a food court IF my DD would let me :)
She just wont feed properly anymore ,when its loud ...Love a good cafe/coffee shop but :)

I definitely agree that it's for women who are a bit shy doing it in front of others - hell, I didn't do it in front of people for about 2 months till I got the hang of it!!

Was just a bit annoyed that it was pointed out to me to go and sit somewhere else. I was too shocked to be my usual mouthy self about it too LOL.

I definitely had a different experience breast feeding over there. Everyone was so keen for me to tell them when I was "going to stop". I also got some looks when b/f in public. Which were met with evil stares from me as if to say "come and have a go if you think you're hard enough". :ROFL:

most....no, all of my friends and family in the UK think i am wierd/gross for still BFing DD and cant even get thier heads around the possibility of feeding two kids at the same time! i just whipped 'em out and fed her where ever i wanted when i was staying there, mainly as i was so used to doing that here and didnt reallt thing anything of it, till it was pointed out to me by my 14 year old sister that i was getting funny looks!
A friend who i met up with while i was there was so worried about BFing her baby, who was only a few weeks old, in public, she had expressed and had a bottle with her to feed him! i was shocked....but sadly not as shocked as they were when i BF my 10 month old in public!
I dont remember the parent rooms, it wouldnt be SO bad if the two areas were the same but it sounds like th BF area was not as nice as the other area!

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I definitely agree that it's for women who are a bit shy doing it in front of others - hell, I didn't do it in front of people for about 2 months till I got the hang of it!!

Was just a bit annoyed that it was pointed out to me to go and sit somewhere else. I was too shocked to be my usual mouthy self about it too LOL.

I definitely had a different experience breast feeding over there. Everyone was so keen for me to tell them when I was "going to stop". I also got some looks when b/f in public. Which were met with evil stares from me as if to say "come and have a go if you think you're hard enough". :ROFL:

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I found in Australia it was assumed I was going to breastfeed. In Scotland (after succesfully BFing two babies) I was asked if I might, consider trying to breastfeed. I said no, I'm just going to do it :lol: There is definitely a huge difference in attitudes over there, everyone is so worried about offending people that nobody can relax when it comes to things like breastfeeding.

It truly IS a totally different culture.

And on another note, ALL of my friends there were raving Gina Ford fanatics :o I had many discussions on why I wouldn't be doing controlled crying - most of which were met with blank stares when I told them my reasons and statements like "well you'll have problems down the line". It would seem that her books are the only parenting books around, don't you know. *sigh*

Oh. so that's why they have curtains in those places? I actually didn't realise that. so hang on, why are the uncomfortable chairs behind the curtains and the comfy lounges on the outside...?

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When i first started to BF i wanted privacy coz it was all new and i was nervous around ppl when i was doing it , then i got over it and was ok with it, not i am at the stage where i will feed my DD anywhere BUT i find most times i do need a quiet place with minimal distractions coz DD wont feed properly will keep pulling off to look around etc

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I was thinking the same thing. I needed the curtained cubicles for a while as DS1 kept stopping to look around at everyone walking past if we were in public. It is one thing to feed when the baby is attached to you boob, but another to have your boob bared every couple of minutes, and feeding takes half an hour longer than it should.

I do agree that the separate rooms should be an option, not something that is forced on BFing mums. I certainly didn't use them for my own modesty or to avoid offending other people. :)

i live in the uk and can gladly say have never seen this sort of setup. i have seen dingy changing rooms with a chair in that is supposed to be for feeding but these were for bottle and breastfeeding. I have breastfed in London, Manchester, Birmingham and here in Somerset and have never seen this. Perhaps it is only in Scotland? ;) I have also never had a negative comment or evil look and I am not discrete! It is boobs all out with me! Lol! Breastfeeding is not the norm here and it is still sort of a hippy thing to do but if membership of our local breastfeeding group is anything to go by then things are getting better. Don't know for how much longer though since the government is going to make big cuts in the support women get which is already minimal. :( I agree with an earlier poster who said it is due to am attitude of breastfed being something you ' try' and a general belief that it is too hard, mixed in with a ton of incredible myths and misinformation. So pretty standard for the western world! My impression is that it is much worse in the US. Where women seem to be getting all sorts of grief for feeding in public etc.

@mummasue - yep Gina Ford is too popular here! Scary stuff! I have to keep my mouth shut so often here when they all start raving on about her!

EEKK!