In need of serious help re: unplanned pregnancy!

Hi all

I went to my GP and did a HPT and there was a faint second line, but a second line all the same. He sent me for bloods to confirm and will have the results back today.

I'm aware of my cycle and always document CD1 just to keep track as they have been wacky in the past. My last 2 cycles were 27 and 28 days, meaning it's most probable that I O'd on day 13 or 14 of my cycle...based on that theory, I BD'd without protection on CD12, with protection on CD17, CD21 & CD22. I'm currently on CD34 and the faint BFP was yesterday (not FMU).

The liklihood, I'm assuming, is that conception would have happened as a result of the unprotected sex on CD12. As far as I'm aware there were no breakages in the condoms used on CD17, CD21 or CD22.

My question is, based on your knowledge, would you say the unprotected BDing would be the likliest way I have fallen pregnant, as opposed to a break in a condom (which I can't even confirm, just giving scenario)? And what are the chances that I could have possibly O'd on CD21 or CD22 and then had a positive at the GP (In my experience the GP tests have a higher level needed to pick up then, say, a first response)???

TIA!!!

It's entirely possible for you to have O'ed on any of those days. Even of you had O'ed on cd22, you would have been 12dpo by your bfp date, which is definately possible to het a faint bfp, even at the doctors. Although, I would hazzard a guess at cd12, because of your previous cycle length. Do you know on average what cd you O on, or how long your LP is? Without one of those two bits of info it will be pretty hard to determine, but an early scan should give you some idea :hug: Oh, and congratulations :)

I would say conception would have been from cd12 bd, sperm can last up to 5days

Over 4 years ago I generally O'd on CD16 or 17, with a 31 day cycle, but that was obviously a few years ago and I have had a child, a medical abortion and a miscarriage since then.

I've never O'd as late as CD21 or 22 hence why I think that's a highly unlikely probability, and I have charted in the past. In the past 12 months or so the longest cycle I've had is 31 days, with them becoming progressively shorter, but for the last 5 cycles have been 27, 28 or 29 days.

Thank you :)

Hugs for you :( I have no idea about dates and things but I hope you get the outcome you want. And welcome to BB, the girls here will be able to help you i'm sure x

What PZ said.

If you assume, based on a cycle of 27-28 days, that you ovulated sometime between cd12 and cd17, then yes you most likely got pregnant from unprotected sex. That would seem to be the most logical explanation.

GL

I should explain why I am asking.

There were different partners involved. I'm a single mother, and whomever the father is isn't really the biggest of my concerns. I'm unsure of what I'm going to do. Try and raise another on my own, maybe the father will step up? Adoption is lingering in my mind, I don't think the other A word is an option for me after my past experiences and morals now.

Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated. Thanks PZ, jas, CQ & tashy for your contribution thus far.

If there were no breaks or leaks with the condoms then it is most likely that the unprotected bd is the one that is responsible for the BFP. Also with the BFP showing at CD34 not FMU I would also hazard that this is the likely one especially as you usually O'd on CD16 and there would still probably have been active sperm even if you O'd later than when you DTD.

:hug: Good luck and I hope you are able to come to an answer on what you are going to do. Do you think the father would step up at all?

There are a lot of women on BB who are single parents to one or more children, so you will find lots of support and advice here :hug:

I agree with what everyone has said. If you had unprotected sex on cd12, and sperm can last 5 days, you could have conceived anywhere from cd12 through to cd17, which is around the time you ovulate. So, I reckon the guy on cd12 was the one.

We're here to support you if you need any help. There are heaps of different areas in this forum that can help you with particular topics. You can find plenty of info there. Or just ask us any questions you might have. We might be able to answer them or at least point you in the direction where you can find some answers.

Good luck with whatever you decide. :hug:

Nai - If the father is CD12, he would defeinitely step up financially and would probably want 50% custody if we weren't together (we have a long history, and have been seeing each other obviously non-exclusively for a couple of months). That raises another question, he would want to know for sure. In utero paternity testing, or wait until the baby is born?

So many complications, I feel like the biggest idiot, especially when I am so educated on the subject.

PZ - I'll definitely utilise BB, thank you. Will wait till these HCG results come back today, I'm assuming they will be positive due to the BFP, and my GP has booked me in for a dating scan next Monday. No decisions will be made until after that.

ETA: Raupe - thank you so much, I really appreciate it, off to work now but I will certainly be back later with my blood results and then to do some more research.

The pregnancy was confirmed today.

I'm unsure of the next step, but did speak to the suspected father who said he will offer no support other than to take me to and help fund a termination, and would want me to go paternity testing if I decided to keep it if I wished to pursue child support.

Oh Hun, that all sounds very overwhelming and confusing. And poo to mr suspected-father (to put it as nicely as possible)... way to disrespect your choices and the incredibly difficult situation you find yourself in. Sending you huuuuuuuuuuge hugs and a virtual glass of wine (since the real thing may be off the cards for a while but you sooo deserve a drink!). xox

:hug: im sorry the maybe father is like that :( but BB is a wealth of knowledge and support, which ever road you chose to take :hug:

Take time to think it through. You're in a very difficult position so don't rush anything. Do you have friends you can talk to or maybe see a counsellor about how you'll manage, what ever you decide? Also, I imagine it's a shock to him finding out today. He may change his mind, or he may not. Firstly, you have to decide what you want to do and a counsellor may be the best way to start.

It's understandable he'll want a paternity test. I may be wrong, but that may be able to be done via amnio during pregnancy, which includes it's own range of risks. Otherwise anytime after birth.

GL

If it were only him I had been sleeping with, it wouldn't matter, he would step up (probably still request a paternity test but I'd know 100% he was, where in this case I can't). But because there is no 100% guarantee it's his he is being hostile...I guess I would too in the same situation.

I think it's important to take your time...rely on your friends and talk/think through all your options :hug:

:hug: Sorry to hear the potential Dad is being a douche. IMO you should just look after you for now and deal with the paternity issues after your baby arrives.

I don't know if I can look after another baby by myself. Financially, I definitely can't. I struggle with one.
So many decisions.

your dating scan should help out a bit more, and who knows once he sees you start growing and the shock wears off he might want to be more involved

Good luck sweet, hope things work out for you, and we're always on here either way!

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I'm unsure of the next step, but did speak to the suspected father who said he will offer no support other than to take me to and help fund a termination, and would want me to go paternity testing if I decided to keep it if I wished to pursue child support.

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:o So sorry to hear that. Big, squishy :hug: darl. Guys can be such jerks. :shakehead:

By the way, i would not recommend doing a paternity test whilst you are pregnant. I heard they are quite invasive and *could* harm the baby. That's what I've heard anyway. I would wait until after birth to confirm who's the father.

I guess now you have to think about what to do. Are you happy to raise the child without his support? Would you want to fight for child support or rather not have anything to do with him at all?

Good luck :hug:

Sorry, just saw your post above. If you really need his financial support, I reckon do the paternity test once the baby is there.

This is a tough situation to be in, and I don't have any good advice to top what the others have said, sorry!

Good luck and Big Hug.

Take care of yourself MsBertie and do what's best for you and your family. Worry about daddy later on :hug: