Do you think this is over the top?

Someone I know has a daughter graduating grade 6 tonight. She's commented on FB that her DD is in tears because she broke a nail this morning and that it's going to cost her money to have it fixed, then said she had her first leg wax last night for graduation.

I can't believe the lengths people go to for a grade 6 graduation! They're 12 yo girls for goodness sake! Why can't people let their girls be girls? They're only young and innocent for such a short time.

I searched high and low for an age appropriate dress for DD's graduation (there aren't many around) and she looked beautiful. I styled her hair and let her wear some of my jewellery. She loved it and felt very grown up while still looking her age. Actually this year's girls all looked lovely, none of them were 'overdone'. Last year when DS graduated was a different story, I didn't see any fake nails but there were high heels, make up and elaborate hairdos on some of the girls from the other campus.

I personally think it's a bit over the top, yep.

I think its so wrong.
The tarting up of little girls today is just gross!!

I only just let my DD, (12) shave under her arms, she had lots of dark hair and we were in Fiji. She WILL not be getting nails for her grad!! :o

A leg wax???

My mum is getting DD an battery shaver for chrissy, for her underarms and legs. Even then she had to talk me into it!!! :lol:

Yep. Way over the top. Let kids be kids. They have plenty of time ahead of them to be grown ups.

At my daughters Yr6 graduation last year, some girls went all out! Some turned up in stretch hummers and almost all of them had fake tans, fake nails and their hair upstyled at the hair dressers. My DD went in a gorgeous dress, heels and I did her hair and she was (I think) much more beautiful than the other OTT girls.

A leg wax :o !!!

What the??

That is just completely scary... She is 12!

OMG, a leg wax and fake nails, that's crazy...

Umm.....yes, over the top!! WTF??
I wasn't allowed to shave my legs until highschool, never would have been allowed fake nails! Couldn't dye my hair until year 12!! And I'll be doing the same for my DD, it is just so unnecessary and wrong IMO!!

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Yep. Way over the top. Let kids be kids. They have plenty of time ahead of them to be grown ups.

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we had to wear our school uniform for my grade 6 graduation :lol:

i can't believe what it's like now. makes me sad to see them growing up so fast :(

wrong wrong wrong

I understand the leg wax - I am of european decent and shaving was the worst thing my mum could have let me do - she should have let me wax IMO. I also started developing at that age (11/12) - so bbies started to develop and dark facial, leg, arm hair etc....I didn't actually wax my top lip until I was way into high school & everyone noticed the hair - so embarassing.

The nails - umm, no I don't agree with fake nails but polish would be ok.

Agreed let kids be kids. they are growing up too fast these days...

My year 6 i had a lovely dress,simple ..my sister did my hair and mum let me out powder on my face..

It's just silly the lengthd ppl go to these days

I was so excited for my grade 6 graduation that mum painted my nails and did my makeup! lol
No way would I have been allowed to get fake nails and no way will DD, the leg wax, I think it depends entirely on the individual, but unless there is thick dark hair I don't get it.

Whoa!! That's crazy!! I hate to think what will be the 'norm' (for want of a better word!) when my DD reaches Grade 6!!

I remember my Grade 6 graduation clearly... I wore a floral skort (remember those things, shorts and skirt combined?!), a white frilly top (delightful), flat shoes with white frilly socks (am I painting a pretty picture?) and my mum blow dried my bobbed hair for me. No nails (or polish) and no makeup. Oh, we also did some bush dancing.

OK, so I did graduate from Grade 6 in the late 80's but at least we were allowed to be 'kids'

yeah that is way way OTT!!

I didn't even have a year 6 graduation! But then, I went to a small school and there was only one other kid in my year :lol:

I wore a pink tartan drop waisted dress lol

I remember being teased mercilessly in grade 5 because of my hairy legs and armpits, but my mum would not let me shave them. So if my daughter wants a leg wax in grade 6 (and has the hair to need it) then yes, she can have it.

Fake nails and tans I am not so keep on, because it is not something I do myself. But if these girls are just trying to recreate the look their mum has then I think it's fair enough. kids love to imitate their parents and feel grown up, I don't see the harm.

Revealing dresses I would draw the line at though, I prefer modesty on children whilst they are still young and innocent.

Along with tweens looking like overdone hookers, (most fake tans look crap, imagine it on a small body? and why on earth does a 12 yr old need fake nails!!??)) I would also worry about what was left for later???

For the yr 10/12 fromal? First date?

If you've done it all by 12, what do you get at 16 for yr 10, a brazillian? A hummer limo?? Lipo and a boob job?

There is nothing left to make the "grown up" nights special.. and thats sad....:cry:
I would rather my DD acted 12 at 12, and was able to be 16 at 16, if she's acting 16 at 12, I'd dread to see what she'd expect to be allowed to do later on.... :o ....scary!!!!

That's ridiculous!!

We wore our school uniform lol but in WA we graduate primary in year 7

I would not do it to my daughter but I also believe each to their own. How would you like it if someone told you how to dress/parent your child because they did not agree with the way you did things

Definetly over the top - gosh I was only just allowed to start shaving my legs in grade 6! We didn't have a graduation for year 7 (in Qld) as we stayed at the same school. I was allowed to have my hair done for my year 10 one though (first time ever), but Mum made my dress and I did my own makeup. I didn't even get nails or makeup for year 12.

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Fake nails and tans I am not so keep on, because it is not something I do myself. But if these girls are just trying to recreate the look their mum has then I think it's fair enough. kids love to imitate their parents and feel grown up, I don't see the harm.

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I believe the harm to be the message that I feel this kind of thing at such a young age sends - the idea that the way you look, the colour of skin you have, etc isn't good enough, that to be accepted in society, or at least liked by everyone, you have to fake it up.
We all know that pressure comes on us all later in life, so why the need for it earlier.

I've got no issues with a leg wax. If they're old enough to want the hair removed and they want to wax then that's their choice.

Fake nails..... well looking at my mangled nails I think that maybe my mother would have been doing me a favour if she had placed more importance on my manicure.

I think it is over the top, and I hope that I can keep my daughter innocent and young looking at that age..

ausgirl, completly agree, great post.

Imagine having to "doll up" to be pretty or accepted, at 12!!! sad really.....

Frantelle, noone is saying anything to the parents, this is just our opinion. And I stand by mine. Its what i believe.

Onyx....:lol:

I worry that you cant stop making your kids "older" once you start.. if your treating a 12 like 16, how do you then slow it down?
Do you one day say, "Now we have to stop, go back to acting your age for a few years, then we'll get back on track"..?? You cant ask them to act much older, then expect them to stop going at that rate.. I've seen disasterous results...

I'm tying to slow mine down, not speed them up!!!

Pretty Buterfly - Your opinion is yours and mine is mine and I do not think that I disrespected you or your opinion but I am noticing a lot of hostility in your response.

I am reading a lot of tut tutting on this site recently. I think that a lot of these opinions are said in a holier than thou attitude. Just posted to see/confirm that their opinion is validated by others.

Frantelle, TBH, I see no hostility in PB's post. I dont know where that comes from...
"Do you think this is over the top?" is the title of the thread, nowhere do I see "All who agree with me post here"
I think you are being a little oversensitive.

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I would not do it to my daughter but I also believe each to their own. How would you like it if someone told you how to dress/parent your child because they did not agree with the way you did things

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I think you need to remember that no one has 'told' the mother how to dress or parent her child. The OP has simply questioned if us here on BB think it's a little over the top. Some agree, some don't - no one was posting to argue

Yep agreed, OTT.

I'm 24 and NEVER had a leg wax :lol: At 12 I was no where near shaving/waxing etc. For memory I was about 13 when I first shaved and only because all the other girls were, wish I had of waited LOL!

I would rather any daughter I had went for waxing over shaving - even at 12. It lasts more than 8 hours that way. And I would have had things a lot worse at school had I not started shaving at 11. Removal of hair isn't growing up too fast!

Having said that - graduating grade 6? To me, that's not graduating. Graduating is when you leave school for good, not when you go to another school.

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Pretty Buterfly - Your opinion is yours and mine is mine and I do not think that I disrespected you or your opinion but I am noticing a lot of hostility in your response.

I am reading a lot of tut tutting on this site recently. I think that a lot of these opinions are said in a holier than thou attitude. Just posted to see/confirm that their opinion is validated by others.

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I dont think your actually reading my posts then.
I have repeatedly said how sad it is, I dont understand at all where think I was hostile!!???
And I never said you disrespected me??
I dont understand your post at all to be honest....

Actually I posted this thread FOR opinions. The question was 'do you think this is over the top?' and I stated my own opinion in my thread. I expected people to reply with their opinions, I did not want them to validate my own opinion. I understand that everyone thinks differently on every topic, that doesn't phase me, I actually like hearing differing points of view. For example it didn't occur to me that the girl getting the leg wax may be having issues with her leg hair, once someone pointed it out I understood how it may be necessary for some girls of that age to wax.

While I do value opinions, it does annoy me when people go out of their way to cause an argument, calling others hostile and disrespectful when they themselves are being just that.

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I believe the harm to be the message that I feel this kind of thing at such a young age sends - the idea that the way you look, the colour of skin you have, etc isn't good enough, that to be accepted in society, or at least liked by everyone, you have to fake it up.
We all know that pressure comes on us all later in life, so why the need for it earlier.

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Whilst I get where you are coming from I must respectfully disagree. Children are inundated with messages that how they look, what they have, what they wear isn't good enough from the time we first let them watch TV. By grade 6 some girls will still be quite immature and will not care, but some will have reached puberty and will be very aware of themselves in context of the big wide world. Teaching a young girl that, if she wants a tan, it comes from a bottle and not from hours spent on the beach, is a healthy message. Helping them feel confident about their options with regards to beauty products is far from the worst thing a parent could do IMHO. I only wish my mother had done this for me.

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Whilst I get where you are coming from I must respectfully disagree. Children are inundated with messages that how they look, what they have, what they wear isn't good enough from the time we first let them watch TV. By grade 6 some girls will still be quite immature and will not care, but some will have reached puberty and will be very aware of themselves in context of the big wide world. Teaching a young girl that, if she wants a tan, it comes from a bottle and not from hours spent on the beach, is a healthy message. Helping them feel confident about their options with regards to beauty products is far from the worst thing a parent could do IMHO. I only wish my mother had done this for me.

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And I think differently again.... :p
I dont think my DD needs theses products at all..... yet.
My DD has just reached puberty, but I dont see that as a reason to make her up, get a tan and get fake nails. I want her to think shes just fine how she is, and she doesnt need to be all fake to be pretty/popular etc...

I do agree, its not high up on the "worst thing a parent can do".. but there are also a lot of bad points to doing up a 12 yr like a little adult and sending them off in to the world like that....unfortuantly it can end up quite dangerous, esp if the girl "feels" like she is older, and acts accordingly... it maybe cause DD has a friend like this (I have posted about her before) that I feel this way??? I really does scare me....

eta.. Tinks, I too love hearing others points of view, I dont have to agree, and neither do they, but I love all the different opinions!! I have learnt a lot, and changed my parenting, over these exact topics!! LOL

ahh Im all for it.. because to me it would be like my girls just wanting to be like their mum.

I use daily taning lotion (the moistuirser kind) I have my nails done and I often go to the hair dresser and get my hair done.. all of what they are doing isnt permanment minus the waxing but I wish i waxed instead of shaved so def think thats a plus if its needed, even then waxed hair grows back.

Its ONE night that they want to look all grown up and pretty, and well sorry to say unfort now days well my 12 yr old cousin is more developed then me LOL

my girls now 6,4 and 2 love to have their hair done all pretty and some polish on their nails..

It's not my cup of tea. I just think it's going right over the top unnecesarrily. I mean they just finished primary school, and I know everyone will think I suck but I just don't consider that to be a massive achievement :hiding:

It's worth a celebration for sure....and DD1 did have classmates attending in limos (!), (and in dresses waaay to revealing for a bunch of 12 year olds)......but Bea has a point. There were lots of girls with the full monty of treatments, but their mums were also the real 'glamazons' of the school, so they were just being like mummas!

My DD1 had her hair done (cos I'm crap at it, and my BF is a hairdresser) a sweet dress and lip gloss and we made a fuss of her transition into teenagerhood (I probably should have started taking the valium in preparation for teensland in retrospect :rofl: ) and High School....not adulthood.

I think sometimes people do go over the top (I know of mothers who stuffed bra's with tissues for their daughter's grade 6 formal... WTF?!). And just because they do themselves over the top doesn't mean their children need to. I can't judge on this situation though because well I don't know them ;)

Dressing up, hair done even waxing (which is often necessary) is one thing but acrylic nails I'm not sure about... and yes I'm a hypocrite because my daughter has pierced ears but this kind of thing reminds me of toddlers in tiaras and makes me want to scream and run for the hills.. I just hate fake bits, fake nails, fake boobs, fake hair colour on little girls it's just icky. But just because I like vodka doesn't mean I'm going to share with DD because she wants to be like mummy. What next matching vibes? Pfft. Please.

And I'm allowed to be sensational every once in a while... so there.