How everything can change in a matter of minutes......RIP Keira 16/12/2010
I guess i thought i should share my story of my baby girl born still born with only 7 days till her due date, born on 16/12/2010. After a complete;y normal pregnancy, and a completely healthy baby girl, i thought nothing could go wrong.......
After 9 months of feedings, sleeping and feeling Keira move inside me, within a matter of ten minutes and a visit to the hospital, my worst fears were put infront of me, and my world came crashing down. On december 15th 2010, myself and my partner were visiting a friend when I was worried on the amount of movement Keira has move during the day. It was about 8pm and i had not felt her move in a couple of hours and I had told my partner I should just go into the hospital and check just incase something is wrong. Aswell i had been having pains for about a week or so previous and had also been in the hopspital twice in the last 5 days becuase of her movement and the pains i had. Me and my partner came home and he had called his mm to come with me to the hospital well he changed and got ready to come back into the hospital when i was there. My mother inlaw picked me up and we went into the hospital. We thought nothing, though me and my partner sensed something may be wrong, but i still said ' no im sure everything is fine'. It was just after 11pm when the nurse put me on the CTG and she could hear no heart, i thought maybe just a faulty machine, and then she returned with a ultrasound machine, then nothing.... icould see Keira's heart, move i said, please, nothing! The doctor then came in, tears filled my eyes and i screamed! The pain i felt and all i could see was Keira;s body, no heart and no movement! when 5 days before she was moving, heart beating strong and to now be told my baby girl was now not alive, crumbled me inside. The fear, pain and anxiety i wish upon no one. The next thing you knew I was with my family and partner and his family, realising i had to give birth. By 5am on the 16th of December, my water broke naturally and I went into labour. by 9:48am I had given birth to beautiful Keira 8pound 52cm and a full head of hair. Beautiful big healthy baby and still colour in her face. Once labour was over, the fantastic nurse i had cleaned her a little and still asked if i wanted her placed on my chest, realising I knew she wouldnt breathe, or cry, I took her in my arms and held her to my heart and closed my eyes, I prayed a miracle would happen, but i realised a miracle was still there in my arms, i cried and cried and held her tight....being the most painful and sad time, it was still the most precious moment in my life. Over the next few days me and my partner spent time with her had photos taken by the hospital and also by Gavin Blue from Heartfelt who was absolutely amazing and captured everything i wanted. We planned and had her funeral which was everything we wanted bright and colourful and represented everything i wanted for my little girl. I know she would realise the happiness and love i wanted for her. Now in the days after I just pray for her happiness and to be looked after. She is close to my heart and everyday i pray for hope in the future for my future child or children. I wish this upon no parent or human, for it is the hardest thing i have ever gone through or had to deal with, but this will only make me stronger.
RIP Keira born forever sleeping 16/12/2010 9:48am
