Incessant toddler demands & whinging- normal or have I created a monster?

DS is 2.5 and has gone from being the sweetest child to being an autocrat with a cute smile. His demands are CONSTANT- more peanut butter, more trampoline, read the book, juice, juice in a different cup, outside, inside, mama, mama, mama, mama.... He is also quite whingy, but most especially around me. He whines and gets grumpy like a little thundercloud if I so much as look at him in a way he doesn't like- evidently he doesn't do this so much around DH, and not at all around my parents.

DH keeps asking me if something is wrong with him, and implying that he whinges around me so much because I pay attention to it. I say he is just a normal toddler, and that kids just tend to act up around their mum a bit more.

But the constancy of it is wearing me and my confidence thin, and I am suddenly wondering if I am A Bad Parent and have somehow created my very own evil dictator. It doesn't help at all that we just went away with a family who's two young daughters are self-entertaining and eat whatever is put in front of them.

Does this sound like a normal toddler or have I gone wrong somewhere? I should add that DH and I are both fairly consistent and firm on boundaries for DS, so I don't *think* its a discipline/ boundaries issue, but at the end of a long day of feeling like a marionette, its pretty hard to think clearly!

Nope - my 2.5year old is the same. I was only saying tonight to someone - tell me this gets better because i'll scream. I'm sure my heighbours think i'm trying to kill her. She has spent allot of time sitting on the back lawn and screaming fits of late all because I said no. Ah the joys!

Hmm, I swear I could have written your post almost word or word. I am in the exact same position and today I have been constantly questioning my efforts as a mother but feel a bit better now that I am not along. So sorry no words of advice only a hug and to tell you that you are not alone. I am probably the most strict with DS than anyone yet I am the one that cops the whinging, the pushing (my buttons.... doing things he knows that he shouldn't).

I have an evil dictator too :D But he does it with everyone close to him, not just me.

I was wondering if I caused it too. Some days it just too much to handle. People tell me it gets better though?! Can't wait. Its hard to keep my temper sometimes it's just so constant.

:hug: definitely not alone, DS turned 2 on October and is very demanding right now to the point of cracking it if we put him in the wrong clothes :o fingers crossed they all grow out if it quickly. I read Toddler Tactics when DD was this age, might have to pull it out again. My trouble is I forget he isnt at the same stage as DD.

Dd1 goes through phases of it, she is 3.5 now, we can finally reason with her - no playing outside if you sook etc but with a 2.5 yo they don't understand it. Try ignoring it and only respond to the good behaviour, so the bad stuff isn't rewarded.

~sigh of relief~

So glad I am not alone. Yep, Sunshine, I'm sure our neighbours think we're killing DS too.

Re-reading Toddler Tactics is a brilliant idea. Library, here I come.

I feel so bad about how quickly I can reach the end of my tether with his constancy. Although I do have to laugh sometimes because the intricacy of his demands are so ridiculous- "no mama, no white straw, blue straw" [mama gets blue straw] "now mama drink" [mama drinks from blue straw] "noooooo (screaming) mama drink green straw!" [mama hides in corner rocking]

Yup DD1 is exactly the same, she's nearly 2.5... lol... and I remember DS being exactly the same way, he's 4 (well, tomorrow!) and he's nothing like that any more, so I can tell you without a doubt that it does get better.

I do say a lot in this house "its either this or nothing" because I get so sick of her changing her mind over things, I could be there all day just making sure its a cup that she wants to drink out of it that VERY SECOND, cos I'm sure it will change by the time the next second ticks over. So now I change it once, and thats it. End of story. Eat/drink it or nothing.

definitely normal - and in my experience it evolves as they get older. They begin to get more indepth and specific (if at all possible) with their demands and their moods. That's why I always smile at frazzled mothers down the street - until you have experienced it yourself, you have no idea how exhausting it can all be.

My DD is exactly the same. I was wondering the same thing about her. Glad to hear its not only me

definately normal.

Mel, glad to hear your DS has grown out of it.. Gives me some hope!

I have another one here although it pains me to think that my ds is only just 2 and doing the same thing so that means atleast another 6 months of this :o
Ds will go off on a tangent if i go to move his cup off the table (even though he hasnt touched it in hours). Its whingy whiney all day long!

oh the joys of two year olds huh??

I have done this three times before but I swear this one takes the cake.
If hes not screaming hes crying, if hes not whinging at me he is whinging at his brothers, if hes not asking for something to eat, hes complaining because he is not being offered what he wants!!!


AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

Give me strength!

i feel so much better im not alone.
told DD 1 who is 3 and a bit to make her own dinner tonight if mine wasn't good enough or on the table the second she decided she was "Starving" lol

its constant adn just sooky and high pitched

DD1 was a COMPLETE nightmare and I'm a very patient person.

Now, she is much better. I almost fell off my chair one day when she suddenly started saying "OK mama", "sorry mama" "you're welcome mama".

My middle daughter to the tee!

Everything is no and not that one. Most of the time I choose two items and she has to make a decision because the option of only one is absolute hell.
She whines all the time and is constantly hungry or thirsty but only for food she likes. I am trying to find healthy food which she thinks is lollies so she will eat them.

Tonight we had meltdown of the century over getting out of the shower after she was a prune. It took 30mins of trying every distraction in the book to calm her down.

I can't wait til she grows out of it.

:

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Tonight we had meltdown of the century over getting out of the shower after she was a prune. It took 30mins of trying every distraction in the book to calm her down.

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Our kids think we have a dodgy hot water system (it is a brand new house :lol: ) when we want them out we turn the hot water off and then tell them we have run out. Usually they jump out as soon as the water turns cold now. But you have to be sneaky about it and not let them catch onto what you are doing.

Yep another whinging and whining two 1/2 year old here, some days she drives me up the wall! :wall:

oh dear - i have a whingy 20mth DD - and I already struggle to cope with her! am hoping and praying she's done with her "terrible twos" (and i am completely in denial that it could possibly go on longer than this, so please don't ruin it for me! :P) by 2.5, because that's what my mum said I did. lol.
Isn't it nice to hear that other mothers are tearing their hair out too?

Nooo... so this is just the beginning?? :crying: I have a 19mth DD and sometimes I wonder if she'd ever grow out of it before she turns 21, coz it seems like it gets worse and worse everyday :(

She demands me from the sun is up till she goes to bed - and by that time I would have already been too tired to do anything. She follows me everywhere including the shower and cries her lungs out if I shut the shower screen. She wants a cuddle when I'm cooking and rolls on the floor crying until I pick her up. She prefers me instead of DH for EVERYTHING which makes it harder. The fun of having a toddler! :D

So glad that you have psosted this, MJ has been going through the same thing on and off for the lst 6 months.
Its really really frustrating and sometimes i feel like i must have done something terribly wrong to make her turn out like this.
Several times DH has asked who the spolit brat is in our house and when is our lovely girl coming back.
I dont know whether giving her options has created this, or allowing her to request things.

I have started saying NO to anything that starts with "i want", this has created a few issues too, but it is slowly getting better... actually thats not true, is she 'wants water, i am not going deny that, so she has to ask nicely before getting it.

Being very pregnant is not helping me either, some days i feel completely intolerant.

Sorry, so no advice, just wanted to share my experience and from the PP, i am guessing that this is totally normal!

OMG i could have written this myself

DS1 is almost 3 and ive been pulling my hair out questioning where we went wrong as parents because i cant take him nowhere he doesnt listen then its a screaming match when he doesnt get his own way

ALL DAY EVERYDAY he just whinges/crys over anything, im pretty patient with him too but i just cant bare it anymore id like to be able to take him shopping and stuff WITHOUT the tantrums and the not listening to what hes being asked to do

I thought he was only getting worse with this due to DS2 being born but clearly not because what everyone else has been saying

I feel a little bit better knowing its just not my child, but i really wish he would hurry up and grow out of this its driving me mental and you cant reason with him cause he just doesnt understand yet

just as typing this he went to get cold water bottle out of the fridge and is crying because its too heavy to carry :wall::shakehead:

Sammiejane: i totally understand being very heavily pregnant and they want to run off on you when out shopping OR exspect you to move instantly in a flash for something (considering you cant just jump up and down) also it doesnt make things any easier when your tryin to BF and you have a whingy/nagging child at your feet wanting everything and doesnt want to understand when you say 'wait till im finished feeding ------' nope we want it NOW!

Oh yes know exactly what you mean...Wrong bowl, wrong plate, wrong spoon, wrong jeans, wrong shirt, wrong straw, wrong cup, wrong MILK, wrong juice, wrong shoes, I'm hungry, I'm hungry, I'm hungry... ..and that's just in 5 MINUTES!!! ARRRGGGHHH

I need to show this to dh. He's convinced ds is like this with me because of breastfeeding still *rollseyes*

Tbh, I started questioning if it was something I'd done too. I'm glad you posted.

It drives me mad, all day long.
I call him pumpkin another pet name and he yells that he's not a pumpkin but a big boy named sam...No, I want a big plate, I don't want that jumper, not that cup, not those socks. I want a ice cream, I want chocolate. Stop talking mummy..... On and on and on...

Gets me down.

My dd's fav word is no, it's all we hear all day long. Sometimes she has tanty over something, the wrong cup or food. I ignore her she eventually calms down and eats or drinks.

I've been desperately trying to get a copy of 'Toddler Tactics' at the library, but its always out!

DS has been having massive tanties first thing in the morning. Yesterday he was screaming about wanting honey, so I got some for him and then he freaked out because I put the honey on the spoon and not him. It was seriously like the end of the world had come.

Lately when we're home, I've been taking him into his room and closing the door and either holding him (if he will let me), or just sitting in there with him and telling him he needs to calm down before we go out again and that there is no need for all the tears, in a "firm but kind" voice. If we go back out and he starts again, we go back into his room. I guess I'm trying to teach him some coping skills. I know that the tanties are all about having 'big feelings' they don't know how to deal with, and I'm really trying to show him a way of processing them. Nice in theory, right?! It's kind of been working....