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Mine, actually :p and I'm a bit embarrassed about posting, but wondering if other people had the same issue...
I'm pretty sure the doc stitched me up too tight! Sex is very painful... actually, we haven't ben able to get to that part, because I'm in tears before he's even close to being 'in'. It was never a problem before, so it's obviously a post-birth issue.
Please tell me 1. I'm not the only one 2. What helped???
How old is your baby? We didn't dtd until about 6 weeks post partum because attempts beforehand were too painful. We also had to use ALOT of lube and go very slow! Things went back to normal quickly after that, but it takes a while!
Bubs is 4 1/2 months! We've tried a number of times, and it's still not working :(
Good to know things are back for you and you have another on the way!!
after a 3rd degree tear i had the same problem and i thought they had stitched me up to much to :doh: lol but bubs was about 10 weeks and we used pretty much a whole bottle of lube and went EXTREMELY slow to start with and it took a few attempts for it to feel even remotely normal, and even now it hurts so so bad to begin with, buuut seen as ur bub is 4.5 months and ur still having trouble i would go and see a gp or ob JIC. couldnt hurt to ask huh?
Are you still breastfeeding? If you are, that can sometimes interfere with the vagina's natural lubrication, so it may not be a case of being too tight, but that there isn't enough lubrication kwim? If you think you need help, go and see your Dr about it and see if there is a problem with it being stitched too tight.
Hi Trillian,
Yup, still BFing...I don't think lubrication is the problem though- I think you're right, should go see the doc :)
Thanks
Krystals - my thoughts would be to go and see your gp or ob. Don't be embarrassed as I'd imagine many women with tears and stitches have encountered this problem after their VB.
With both my kids I had the same minor tear with minimal stitching - and yes, sex the first time after both kids was a little uncomfortable but I didn't have ongoing pain. It was a matter of taking it slowly and feeling comfortable at all times. I think most of us have felt a little anxious about sex the first time post-birth, let alone when it's physically as painful as what you've said. All the best, xx
I ended up with a 2 1/2 inch cut after a very difficult labour and eventual forceps delivery- the stitching goes right up into my bum cheek! LOL I thought it'd healed ok, but I think you're right... will get it checked out :) Thanks x
Same issue here. My Gynacologist said she will do a small procedure (I assume cut) in her rooms if I want it - I assume under a localised anaestetic. Doesn't sound terribly invasive and will probably help a lot with my confidence around DTD.
:) Good info Dusty, Thanks! Will check it out, like you, I would love to be more confident, I feel like a teenager, like it's my first time or something! I'm not used to feeling like this, and it's having an effect on my overall relationship confidence. Hubby is great though, it's all in my own mind *rolls eyes*
With my first episiotomy, it was 7 months before it was totally comfortable and we could complete the deed.
This one is even longer and taking longer to heal, so who knows...
I had the same after both vbac's one with a tear and stitching and nothing after the second. What I finally realized is that a lot of it was me holding my pelvic floor muscles tight. I guess when we dtd I tightened up even more. Lots of lubricant, condoms and trying to release my muscles beforehand eventually worked for us.
Relaxing during sex is the key as well as lube. Having said that, I had a small tear which required stitching and it took almost a year for me to relax and for sex to feel "normal" again. You'll get there hun :hug:
I had issues relaxing my pelvic fkoor post bub as well. Sometimes if I am tense still I can get some discomfort but I am pretty sure it's because i'm tense. I would go see your dr about it though hun, it might look healed but stuff is still knitting back underneath iykwim.
HTH
Although I didn't have stitches, sex was pretty painful for me for many months. It just gradually got better and more comfortable. I don't think it completely went away until DS weaned!
So you're definitely not alone! I hope it gets better for you soon :hug:
You are NOT the only one!!!
I literally tear myself a new one every time DH even tried to get close to it, and it's 19 months post birth!
Here's the insane thing - I literally tore myself trying to get the swab for the Strep test up there!!!
I have no vagina (well, not much of one, anyway)! :-(
Yeah mine is very similar (and a similar delivery). Thick, painful scar tissue from literally vagina to bum. Know how you feel babe!:
You're not alone. I had my little boy 20 months ago, and I have just had surgery to correct it. I did try creams etc first but nothing worked. It would tear every time.
One of the doctors told me to have another baby and let it tear again! I asked him if he knew how babies are made, don't know what he was thinking. Anyway, I asked to see someone else and she said this was really my only option. From what I understand the scar tissue is usually what is causing the problem.
I hope you can get it sorted out soon, I know exactly what you're going through!
Know what you mean re the scar tissue. I'm very aware of mine, I can feel it there (internal and external), but of course scar tissue has no nerve endings, so can't feel it being touched directly, again, internal or external. Last time DH tried something I just curled up and cried! I was bleeding and hurting - felt like a brand new episiotomy again!:
REALLY don't want another Episiotomy this time around - as this one split open again @ 6 weeks post birth and was agonising! - but I seriously don't know how I'm going to get a baby out of there!
Am really thankful for this thread, btw. I am so ashamed by it that I haven't talked to a Dr about it yet, I thought I was a freak!
im having trouble with mine too this time and i had a smaller tear with less stitches then last time :o
I had vaginal wall tearing with DD and had stitching pretty much all the way around. It felt like you described for a loooong time. It's taken about 9 months for DTD to not be painful and only recently to be completely comfortable again, so 12 months for me. At times, I can still feel the scar at the start of DTD but once we get going I don't notice it :)
definately not the only one, we are still having issues here, got a refferal to a gyno and off to see him nxt month.
fingers crossed for u!!!
Just checking to see how everything is??
Hoping the Dr was able to fix it or let you know what was going on!!!
I took some of the advice on here MrsB- I went and saw the doc and the doc that stitched me up aparently did a beautiful job. We tried a couple more times without success, tried the massage, and then the products, and then all three with the addition of wine. We've DTD once painfully, but successfully. Then I got a bit confident and we tried again, but it was too soon I think. Slowly, slowly and I think we'll get there. Once every six months is enough isn't it??????? :O
Thanks for caring :)
Oh that's good the Dr did a good job!!! You definitely don't want a messed up nani!
Yay for being able to do it even if it hurt and took a while! Slow and steady wins the race! Just keep trying, and remember you don't have to go the whole way everytime, just playing around will help stretch you and won't be as painful..
xx
Glad u had some success hun and yr doc did a gd stitching job.
Me however, I'm booked in for day surgery to fix my poor veejay. Turns out the consultant did a pretty average job stitching the episiotomy and I also have some exposed nerve endings *sigh* its bn 8months since successfully dtd...
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Omg ladies!!! I cannot begin to understand that pain.
For once I am glad I had a c-section.
Great to hear your stitches were done well though Krystals.
Yup...that happened to me after my son, we're pretty sure I only needed 2 stitches and I got 3....we eventually got there.
Then after number 2, the Dr "Fixed me" up the right way and I'm back to normal!!
Ouch!! It scares me that someone else can ruin my nani by stitching it up too tight!!! Luckily my tear was on the labia not the actual hole... So I couldn't be stitched too tight.:
You girls are so brave!!!
Sorry, I haven't had a chance to read all the other posts, so hope I'm not repeating anything...
I has a CS and had/have the same problem. I went to the GP who checked me out at around the 4 month mark. She told me that the skin felt very thin, but that was normal due to the breastfeeding hormones (don't quite get it myself) and to use lots and lots of lube.
We've been using lube since (never needed it before) and over time it has gotten better, mind you it has correlated with dropping bf's. DS is now 19 months and down to one feed a day, it's still a little tender down there, but nothing like it was in the beginning... Now I can actually enjoy DTD and not be stressing about doing something that will inflict a lot of pain. HTH
Similar to Miss E I had a few issues, along with the dryness and thinness due to breastfeeding, I also have a minor vaginal prolapse. I was prescribed oestrogen pessaries and told to see a physio for pelvic floor work (both of which I was slack with due to time and money). Despite that I have had major improvement since I stopped breastfeeding (I fed for over a 2 1/2 years) and went off the mini pill. I am amazed at how much feeding and the mini affected it all. Was also told lots of lube and my gyno even suggested veg oil. I may still need surgery at a later date as I still have the prolapse, but hoping if I get the money (I know have some time) that I can get to that special physio.
Your not alone. My bub is 7mths now and it still hurts to DTD. When we (occasionally) do, its very slow and the same posy cos that's the bearable one.
I'm booked in for day surgery on the 25th March to have this corrected.
Just a quick question to you all who have this issue - did anyone deliver at Maitland Hospital?
Like Miss E I had a c/s (for both of my births) and since DD's birth we have not yet managed penetration due to thinness/dryness. She's close to 8 months old, and still almost exclusively breastfed - she hasn't really taken to solids much yet. Because of the skin thinness lube doesn't really help. Some doctors will prescribe oestrogen pessaries, which does help, but is likely to reduce supply. So it's not just those with vaginal births who have problems, I'm sorry to say.
I'm on the mini pill too, I'd never thought that would be a factor... Thanks astride!:
Suse, it's good to know I'm not alone, I thought having the CS would've meant everything down there would've been the same (my midwife even joked that I'd still have the vagina of an 18 year old), so imagine my surprise when it wasn't.
2 c/s's here as well (sorry not in my first post). First was an almost vaginal birth, that cause the minor prolapse, but second time there was none of that.
I think going off the mini pill helped as it meant my sex drive came back and therefore natural lubrication.