Vaccinations of friends & family and Newborn cuddles

Hey all... I hope i'm in the right forum, sorry mods!

Having a baby soon, and I personally am going to have him vaccinated, I am up to date on all my vaccines.

Although I understand its a personal choice whether or not people vaccinate, do you think its reasonable to ask my family and friends who want newborn cuddles...that they:

a) are up to date on vaccines if they are comfortable with vaccinations , AND/OR...
b) don't come near my newborn if they are sick or have been exposed to someone who is sick (close friend or family), and advise me of same?

Whooping cough deaths in the news may have made me a little paranoid :(

I've asked my parents and brothers to get the whooping cough booster - I had it yesterday in the hospital and DH will have it in a couple of days :)


Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks ;)

My parents will have two grandsons by June, so they both got the booster. Also my partner's parents are getting it, and my partner's father is tricking my partner into getting it. lol.

There are additional benefits to people getting it in some ways - if they work outdoors or garden, they're getting a tetanus booster in the shot; and it's also recommended for older people to get this shot anyway.

Also I will have hand sanitiser around to give to people before a hold.

I think if it makes you feel better then ask them. Just make sure you research the vaccine and the disease. Don't be lulled into a false sense of security because you and your friends and family have been vaxed, it is still possible to have, eg whooping cough and pass it on. It's not as easy as passing by someone with whooping cough to contract it though, have a bit of a read up so you know how it's contracted etc.
Definitely people should be staying away from your bub if they're sick!! When it comes to Whooping cough it's contagious before a cough/whoop develops,that's if a whoop does. So they may think they only have a bit of a cold but could later show to be more. Common sense should tell people to stay home when they are sick so they don't pass anything on.

anyone who had close contact with DD for the first 3 months of her life was vaccinated/boostered. the exception was my younger sister who in anti vaxx, and she self-quarantined herself for 3 weeks before seeing DD.

Thanks for the replies, you would think people would be smart enough not to go near a newborn when sick , but unfortunetly a lot of ppl seem not to think! Already had woek colleagues come to work with nasty cough colds when I am pg! I tell them, either they go home or I will! Also ppl who light up a ciggerette right next to me on a bench....

Sent from my GT-I9000 using Tapatalk

:

---

Thanks for the replies, you would think people would be smart enough not to go near a newborn when sick , but unfortunetly a lot of ppl seem not to think! Already had woek colleagues come to work with nasty cough colds when I am pg! I tell them, either they go home or I will! Also ppl who light up a ciggerette right next to me on a bench....

Sent from my GT-I9000 using Tapatalk

---

I had a lady kiss my baby almost on thw mouth when she was a week old... Some random 50 yo feral lady!!!!!! I highly doubt that she was showered let alone vaccinated!!!

I didnt get my whooping couch vax till her 8 week needles, DH is still meant to be getting his at medical at his work but the army are slack, and my mum an dad were here when she was born and I doubt they had it. But we have no friends here so we never saw anyone or hung out with anyone to catch it from!

:

---

Don't be lulled into a false sense of security because you and your friends and family have been vaxed, it is still possible to have, eg whooping cough and pass it on.

---

^^Yeah that^^

There are plenty of threads on whooping cough vaccine that cover it's complete ineffectiveness in this section. If it gives you comfort, then it's up to you, just as it is up to those you ask to do it or not, but I know I would personally find it a bit rich for one of my family members to emotionally blackmail me into something I didn't want to do - if it was something I agreed with, that would be a different story. There's one thing you can be sure of, those who are immunised have the pathogen (even in synthetic form) in them.

:

---

Also my partner's parents are getting it, and my partner's father is tricking my partner into getting it. lol.

---

LOL, I find that as funny as tricking someone into a circumcision or prostitution. If your partner doesn't want to get it done, then that decision should be respected as much as your choice to want it done.

:

---

and my partner's father is tricking my partner into getting it. lol.

---

:o I only just read this properly, I don't think I agree with that. I personally would be pi**ed big time if it was me. I like to know what's going into my body. Not far off spiking someone's drink.:o

:

---

you would think people would be smart enough not to go near a newborn when sick , but unfortunetly a lot of ppl seem not to think!

---

Exactly - and trust me, people will still knowingly let their sick kids play with yours when they are older (someone brought their kid over the other day and they had school sores, for example!) - it never ends!

It is for this reason that you are well within your rights as the mother of your child to set the boundaries. If you intend vaccinating and want close family and friends to get the vaccine that is YOUR choice. It is THEIR choice if they choose not to and therefore don't get to visit / have cuddles!

I felt really strongly about this and made sure that anyone who was spending any length of time with DS had it done. In our case it was just the grandparents, which made it simpler. I did ask my OB and GP about the risks and they both said that it wasn't necessary to get it done unless the said individuals were actually spending days / nights in your home. I mean, realistically, you can't expect cousins and others who are popping in to visit for a half hour to get it done (though ideally they should!). Well, that is my opinion anyway. You kind of need to draw the line somewhere...

Before our next bub is born, we are seriously considering asking BIL and his girlfriend to get it done because, next to the grandparents, they spend the most time around our kids. Fortunately, most of our family is pro vac, so the the kids and parents have been done over the years.

There are also the financial considerations, though: my folks are off-shore and when they came for the birth, they had to pay full price for their booster shots - it came to about $70 each. To me it would be worth paying double or triple, but some people don't see it that way.

Just be diplomatic in your requesting them to get the boosters, because a) it is an expense b) can involve organising the script, going to the chemist to get it, then back to the GP for administration etc. and c) does involve some pain!

If you feel strongly enough about it - follow those instincts!

:

---

LOL, I find that as funny as tricking someone into a circumcision or prostitution. If your partner doesn't want to get it done, then that decision should be respected as much as your choice to want it done.

---

No I have very little respect for DP as it is. But his Dad can't hold him down, he is taking him to the appointment and the aim is to get it at the same time. DP is a smoker too and I tolerate that. Thanks for your comment but you're not living my life. It won't hurt DP to get it either as he works as a labourer, as the shot includes Tetanus, it won't go amiss at all. He's not the greatest soap+water hand washer either and he can't stand hand sanitizer without water.

But thanks for your comment I really must take that onboard..

(not!)

It has just become free in Queensland for families of babies in the past week or so. btw.

:

---

:o I only just read this properly, I don't think I agree with that. I personally would be pi**ed big time if it was me. I like to know what's going into my body. Not far off spiking someone's drink.:o

---

I suppose it was a bit like him NOT HOLDING THE CONDOM.

Now is that enough information for you.

I just find this such a silly remark, because I've had my drink spiked as well, years ago.

Don't worry the Doctor will tell him his rights.

I didn't get any rights in either of those two scenarios.

:

---

No I have very little respect for DP as it is. But his Dad can't hold him down, he is taking him to the appointment and the aim is to get it at the same time. DP is a smoker too and I tolerate that. Thanks for your comment but you're not living my life. It won't hurt DP to get it either as he works as a labourer, as the shot includes Tetanus, it won't go amiss at all. He's not the greatest soap+water hand washer either and he can't stand hand sanitizer without water.

But thanks for your comment I really must take that onboard..

(not!)

It has just become free in Queensland for families of babies in the past week or so. btw.

---

WOW... you've got issues. So it's okay to ignore someone's autonomy as long as you don't respect them, but then remark bitterly about having your own rights ignored - is that okay because they don't respect you?

That's twisted, kettles and pots, both are black, and I would say neither is okay.

And while I commented, it was generally to the idea of tricking someone into doing something with their body that they don't really want to; your comment however, is very personally directed and sarcastically rude. If you're not prepared for people to comment with opinions opposite to yours, perhaps you shouldn't post it. And if you have problems with your DP, perhaps you should nut that out with him, rather than having a go at strangers on a forum as some form of sacrificial anode.

:

---

WOW... you've got issues. So it's okay to ignore someone's autonomy as long as you don't respect them, but then remark bitterly about having your own rights ignored - is that okay because they don't respect you?

That's twisted, kettles and pots, both are black, and I would say neither is okay.

And while I commented, it was generally to the idea of tricking someone into doing something with their body that they don't really want to; your comment however, is very personally directed and sarcastically rude. If you're not prepared for people to comment with opinions opposite to yours, perhaps you shouldn't post it. And if you have problems with your DP, perhaps you should nut that out with him, rather than having a go at strangers on a forum as some form of sacrificial anode.

---

No Yeddi come and live my life.

I can have a shot at whomever I like to my knowledge.

I can't nut it out with him. He is a very odd man. He used to work for the CSA, and now works as a labourer. He is impossible to communicate with.

Perhaps you shouldn't post your comments either? Black kettles? Should be stainless, it is 2011 lol.

i dont find insisting that family be vaccinated to be emotional blackmail.

i wouldnt let my child travel in a car without an appropriate carseat/belt, regardless of the drivers person opinion towards seatbelts. i wouldnt let someone feed my child junk food.
i wont let potentially ill people near my child.
vaxx gives at least a 85% chance of not carrying/contracting pertussis. id buy a lotto ticket if there was an 85% chance of winning the jackpot.

Sorry to say this ladies, and I know I am not a mod, but it sounds like the OP is dealing with her own stressors at the moment, hence her original question regarding getting the booster. I really don't think that getting angry with each other in HER thread is being helpful to her at all.

:

---

I suppose it was a bit like him NOT HOLDING THE CONDOM.

---

That was wrong of him to do IMO.

:

---

I just find this such a silly remark, because I've had my drink spiked as well, years ago.

---

Also wrong no one should have that happen. But my remark was not silly you had something put in to your body that you didn't want and weren't aware of, there is no difference between that and tricking your DP into the vax. However if the "trick" is getting him to the GP in the hope he will get it then that is a little different. I assumed he would be led to believe he was getting something different, but really getting the Pertussis vac. I guess that's why you don't make assumptions.

:

---

I didn't get any rights in either of those two scenarios.

---

No you didn't, and that is wrong too! I'm getting the idea that it's not a relationship made in heaven, it sounds like there are huge trust and respect, issues and I would be wondering why you're even still together, good luck with it I hope it can be sorted out for the sake of your baby and you. But I think this is a whole other issue and this thread might be being hijacked, so I'm signing out of the thread now.

if you have to trick him to get him to the GP, then i say do it. lol

its hard to get men to go see a dr. when i took my bub for his 1 week check, DP came with me and i asked if we could make an appointment for him to get whooping cough vax sometime that week. the dr said "oh i can do that now". hehe.

and i agree, dont let people near your newborn if they are sick.

:

---

That was wrong of him to do IMO.



Also wrong no one should have that happen. But my remark was not silly you had something put in to your body that you didn't want and weren't aware of, there is no difference between that and tricking your DP into the vax. However if the "trick" is getting him to the GP in the hope he will get it then that is a little different. I assumed he would be led to believe he was getting something different, but really getting the Pertussis vac. I guess that's why you don't make assumptions.



No you didn't, and that is wrong too! I'm getting the idea that it's not a relationship made in heaven, it sounds like there are huge trust and respect, issues and I would be wondering why you're even still together, good luck with it I hope it can be sorted out for the sake of your baby and you. But I think this is a whole other issue and this thread might be being hijacked, so I'm signing out of the thread now.

---

I don't like hijacking threads.

However there are issues, I call him DP online, but he's really my baby's father, whom I'm trying to have some sort of amicable "relationship" with. We don't live together, because I fell pregnant 4 months after meeting him, after being told that I was infertile and then being vomiting upon using hormonal contraceptives and numerous visits to the Family Planning clinic (together), and then in the process of again trying to break it off, that was when I fell pregnant.

Also my brother and SIL have gone through years of TTC, and I couldn't tell my family that I was pregnant but then terminate because it would break everyone's heart.

We visit each other at the moment, and in my mind I treat it as an access visit, and also because he is still sort of my "boyfriend" I have got to know his lovely family - he has a massive family on both sides of his family.

But when it gets down to any practical issues, we can't work them out, daily living issues, any time I endeavour to have a discussion, he feels he has to "win" an argument, rather than discuss things. In fact he is oddly being verbally and financially abusive towards me, when it doesn't match his personal values, because he is quite into human rights and was once a union representative.

He has been through a lot in the past few years, and I like to think of him as being "ill" or having some kind of breakdown at this time, as I am pregnant, I couldn't handle breaking it off with him again at this point in the pregnancy. I do have some support from my family but not enough to go through the situation as it would play out.

We all make assumptions on internet forums. People don't have time and neither should they have to explain their decisions to one and all. For example I commented on another forum about someone who'd moved into a dodgy rental, as to why they signed the lease but I then also commented that it was not to have a shot at them in the same post.

Personally I would only feel comfortable with asking about b, definately not a.

Vaccination is an extremely personal and private matter. And I dont think it fair to ask someone to put aside their beliefs and point of view to settle your own worries. I would on the other hand, stress that I would not want anyone to coming in contact into either bub or mum and dad, or anyone other primary carer for the bub, if they are sick, have been sick recently, or being in contact with sick people.

We asked my parents and DH's parents before DS was born.

My parents are very pro vax and agreed. My FIL did, however MIL didn't. DH was very concerned about her being around DS as she has a low immunity and picks up everything. As it worked out, DS stayed very close to me in a carrier, or with DH, and MIL had very minimal contact with him. She helped to look after DD a lot..

So, while you can't force anyone to have it, you never know what they will agree to.

We will be asking our close family to have it. I don't see it as emotional blackmail at all. I just think it's a matter of saying that we feel more comfortable if people having close contact with the baby be vaccinated. If people choose not to be vaccinated then we won't be judging or angry at them - we will respect their wishes. But the flipside of that is that they will/should respect our wishes that they not have cuddles with bub until it is older and can be vaccinated itself.

I know that there is a lot of info out there saying that the pertussis vaccine is less effective, but I think it's a stretch to say it's completely ineffective. I am going to do anything to protect my child and even if it was only 50% effective I prefer that to nothing. as someone said earlier, if there was an 85% chance of winning the lottery we'd all be buying tickets.

And emc2 hun your situation sounds very tough I hope things get a bit easier for you.

Regarding a) I was only going to ask ppl who are pro-vax to get vax or booster. Such as my parents, and grandparents.

Regarding b) good to know I have the right to tell people to keep away when sick and refuse cuddles