A couple of threads have gotten me wondering if people have other rules for mealtimes and what they are?
For example: Do you say grace or give thanks for a meal? What do you expect of your kids and at what kinds of ages? Do they have to sit at the table for the duration of a meal if they eat or not? Do you eat at a set time? Do you stop your kids from eating (for example you eat dinner at 6pm, so the kids don't eat after 4.30pm)?
Do you have any other rules or traditions?
We mostly have dinner around 6-6:30pm
no one leaves the table till everyones finished
no snacks after 4pm
DS sets the table with DDs help :lol:
We simply have a motto "A family that eats together, stays together." Not always possible, but it's a lovely thought all the same I think :)
DP is never here for dinner (he works late shifts) which makes it a bit trickier. At the moment, golden rule is TV OFF, everyone sits at the table NO MATTER WHAT and no-one leaves until everyone has finished.
I am a bit relaxed on DD1 leaving if she's had a particularly tiring day and she's about to have a meltdown.
I try to make sure dinner is on the table around 6pm. Sometimes, it's earlier. DD1 rarely snacks so I don't really have a rule about the latest she can eat.
She does sometimes refuse dinner, in which case all the rules stay the same - must turn off TV, must come to table and must stay and talk until I've finished.
dinner time we all sit at table, well luke sits beside table in high chair...we have no tv in dining room, we have taken to having music playing though which is nice...
there is no slouching or leaning on the table thats about the only rule
we sometimes give jack a time limit on how long it takes to eat dinner cause he can take over a hr to eat a smaller meal than his 16mth old brother *sigh*
but yeah other than food is eaten at the table
We eat dinner at the table. Dinner is usually ready by 6:30pm (I sometimes work until 10pm, so I prepare dh and ds dinner before work so they can eat it when dh gets home). we turn off the tv and no one leaves the table until we have all finished eating, (plates do not have to be emptied, just eat until we are full).
DS usually has a snack when dh gets home because thats what dh does when he gets home, they will share an apple or if they are lucky and I have been baking, they will have a cookie or something.
Weekends are more relaxed, we eat on the lounge in front of the tv :) ds has a special toy story tray he uses at these times.
Dinner is usually 5.30-6pm.
No food after 3.30-4pm.
We all sit at the table.
Everyone stays until everyones finished.. unless DS is taking his time.. which happens often.
No talking because then they spend the whole time talking and not eating.
They dont have to finish their plate but they wont get dessert to anything else to eat until breakfast the next day if they dont.
We have a few rules:-
We eat at the table and the table only for meals (im a bit more relaxed about this with snacks etc through the day)
No snacks after 4
The kids are to clear there plates and put plates in the sink afterwards
And a new rule no drinks until at least half the meal is eaten otherwise DD2 would just fill herself up on her drink
And as I'm dishing up DD1 MUST go to the toilet otherwise we will get 5 mins in and she'll need to go
Dinner is usually around 5.30-6
Family dinner every night at 6:30-7pm
Because it is late, I do let DD snack in the late arvo, but try and limit them after 5pm (its hard though because she's a grazer)
DD helps set the table
DD can get down after she has had a good attempt at eating, but we don't leave the kitchen until everyone's finished (sometimes that means dd draws at the table etc until we're finished)
Whoever cooks gets to relax after dinner (which usually involves playing blocks or stories with DD) while the other parent cleans up
For us, dinner was a family affair (kids all grown up now), everybody sat down together, at the table, no outside noise (so tv off, but stereo usually on in the background, but there was always music on in our house, so it was like white noise). Even now when the family gets together, everybody at the table, even the kids in their highchairs for the duration, it is a social affair, we talk about our day. Prayer before (what type depended on who's turn, mix of Catholic and Pagan in the family).
I will be keeping up the tradition as much as possible.
We have dinner around 5.30-6pm.
Telly goes off at tea time and doesn't go on again until DS is in bed.
DS has to ask to leave the table. He doesn't have to empty his plate but sometimes has to have 3 more bites of xyz before he can go if he hasn't eaten enough.
He has to take his plate up to the bench when he is finished.
We eat around 4-4:30pm as DD goes to bed around 5-5:30pm. No real rules, we don't say grace and it is just me and her but we eat together.
we dont have rules at the moment coz DS eats at 5:30 and we eat later he has to sit in his high chair though he put himself in coz it a low one
Oooh, this is a great thread! I'm interested in hearing what everybody else does.
Well, I usually have dinner on the table between 5:30 and 6:00pm. Alan unfortunately hasn't been home to have dinner with us the past 3 weeks (NOT impressed). My kids have a strict bedtime of NO later than 7:30. If they are mega tired & grumpy, it's 7pm, but most nights it's in bed at 7pm & story time until 7:20 or so - so eating at 6pm is good, because they go straight from the dinner table to the bath to bed.
I don't FORCE them to eat dinner - sometimes we are just not hungry & given that I have battled with losing weight, I don't want them to feel they have to be full everytime they sit down to a meal. But, if they don't eat any dinner, they are not allowed ANYTHING afterwards. No fruit, no treats, nothing. If they do eat their dinner, they are usually allowed some fruit, rarely I make dessert (but last night I did). I generally find, they don't ask for anything after dinner. Yes, I do make them sit at the table, even if they are not eating. They are 4 & 6 years old though, no longer toddlers :(
I make both my girls take their plates & cutlery from the table to the sink afterwards & push their chairs in.
Um, what else..... the TV goes off. No more TV until the following day for the girls.
I don't really find snacking a problem after school. They get a big American buffet style cafeteria lunch & they have afternoon snack at 3pm, so snacking after school is pretty much non-existent for us.
xxx
I am trying to be more consistent with mealtimes in order to combat Nat's eating issues. So the plan is something like this (even though the reality some days is different):
Dinner @ 5:30-6pm
TV off
We sit at the table, hold hands and say grace (Natty usually says it - is very cute! And Phoebe is only now beginning to want to participate by holding our hands)
I choose what goes on the plate and what time we eat, the children choose whether they eat and how much
Natalie is to ask politely to leave the table once she is finished
Sometimes I cave in and allow them to watch TV during dinner (generally if I've had a shocking day/afternoon and want to be on BB while they are otherwise occupied) but I am trying not to do this too often.
I try to limit afternoon snacks from about 4pm (I often start cooking dinner around 4:30 anyway), the only exception to this is when Phoebe hangs off me while I'm trying to cook, I will generally fling her a few Sultana Bran Buds to carry her through the harrowing time of waiting for her dinner :rolleyes:
At least 4 nights out of 9 DH misses dinner as he is at work, but when he's home we like to eat all together. This means we eat at about 5:30 - 6pm. If we're going to have takeaway then we'll feed Moo at that time, then wait til he's in bed before we get our dinner.
Seeing Moo is only 19 months old we don't any rules as yet. I still give him snacks before dinner, otherwise he makes it very difficult for me to actually cook :lol: usually it's bread or some fruit.
Wo everyone, thanks for the replies!!
We are trying to start to instill some firmer rules at meal times. Mostly at dinnertime, though DH is often home for lunch too so we often eat lunch all together too. DH is not always home for dinner and I become a bit more lax with the rules when he's not as sometimes I'm feeding or tending to the baby, or sometimes I just soooo can't be bothered to make my life that little bit more stressful! Our big kids are nearly 4 and 2 1/2yrs the rules only apply to them, since bubs is too small! DH will eat anything and I don't cook what I won't eat, lol. Our rules are:
*Eat meals at the table, those being breaky, lunch and dinner. Snacks can be consumed on the run or in front of the TV, though if it's something that might be messy like yogurt, the kids must eat at the table (but our living/dining room is one room, so they can still watch tv if they want to)
*TV is off for dinner time. We often have quiet music on, though not always. Dinner is between 5.30 and 6pm.
*Children sit at the table until everyone is finished their meals at dinnertime. I don't mind if they're not eating but they sit and participate in the conversation or just wait until we finish.
*Children need to taste thier meals at dinner time. (A new rule for us!)
Dinner time is the only time of the day I don't give them SOME food I know they will eat. I give them the meal I have in our meal plan and what I have made. They have to at least try it, if they say they don't like it after that, then that's fine. This is a big deal for us because DS1 often wil not touch his food at dinner time. He often goes to bed without having had even a mouthful of food. I loathe dinner times with DS1! I try not to worry or take notice, but it irritates me no end that I cook good food and he turns his nose up at it EVERY DAY! Though I won't make him do it, just give him some over exaggerated praise and encouragement when he does (same for DD, though she will usually at least try anything). But I don't want to make mealtimes a battle or an unpleasant experience for them. I do often verbally express my frustration and feelings to them if they don't eat a meal I have prepared.
*Children must eat at least 3/4 (is, most of it!) of their meal to get anything after dinner, like fruit, bread or a carrot. They must eat all of it to get sweets like bickies, yogurt or custard. This is such a rare occurance in our house, that they might get sweets for dessert once a fortnight.
*When we have take away pizzas, chicken n chips, or toasties for dinner (once a month or so), we have a 'picmic' (as DS1 calls it) in front of the tv on a big sheet on the floor. The kids love this and it makes food fun at dinner time for a change!
*Snacks stop by about 4.30pm, depending on what is for dinner, when it will be ready and what they want to eat. If they want to have fruit at 4pm and dinner won't be until 6, then they can have it (I would usually cut one whole peice in half and give them half each), but if they wanted a muesli bar at 4pm and dinner would be ready by 5.30, I wouldn't let them.
I am going to steal a few of your rules...the one about no drinks until the kids are half finished is a great one, DS1 will guzzle his drink and ask for more at dinner time, which fills him up. He often goes to bed with his tummy sounding like a water balloon!
This is a great thread! DS is only eight months but I'm definitely bookmarking this for when he's bigger :)
My kids are 5 and 7. We all eat together at the table, around 5.30-6pm. Miss P is usually awake and she sits at the corner of the table in her swing. The kids can choose how much they eat, but as a PP said sometimes they have to have 'three more mouthfuls of...' in order to get dessert. My kids like their vegies so usually they don't need to be encouraged. They have to stay at the table until everyone has finished eating and they have to put their napkin in their lap and their knife and fork together on the plate when they are finished. At the end of the meal they clear the table to the bench but DH or I load the dishwasher and do the rest of the cleaning up. I usually set the table but DD likes to help sometimes. The telly is turned off and we talk about the best and worst part of our days - it's a really good way to keep in touch with what is going on at school!
The kids have afternoon tea when they get home from school and then nothing until dinner. DS is a grazer and would be happy to fill up on rice crackers and cheese and never eat dinner! Dessert is usually yoghurt, ice cream, fruit or whatever I have been baking. Sometimes I make their favourite - pikelets with jam and cream - about once a month.
Friday and Saturday nights are more relaxed and we sometimes eat on trays in front of the telly while the kids sit at their kiddie table near us. Funny, they actually prefer the big table and no telly!
We sorta have traditions I guess. When I was a kid my dad was the dinner rules Nazi. Granted as a result my manners are excellent, but really has it influenced how my family interacts now we've all grown up....no. My siblings have eshewed all manner of dinner tradition/rules on purpose as a result, and TBH they are no different to me.
We generally have dinner around the same time, but are flexible.
We do sit at a table, but that might be the dinner table, the coffee table, the kids table (yes even me) or outside. Usually it's the big table though.
I do not ever use food as a reward. I wish DH would remember it sometimes, but both of us come from morbidly obese families and i really want food to be about pleasure, not stuffing yourself because you have to to get what you want.
My kids don't have to eat everything on their plates either. Usually they do, but I want them to recognise hungry, satiated, and full. I can't determine that for them so I don't feel qualified to force them to eat more than they feel necessary.
That said however, if a paultry effort is made at dinner on the guise of being full, nothing else is allowed afterwards.
No-one in this house is allowed to say 'I don't like it' and refuse a food unless they have actually tried it.
I want the kids to find food social as well so encourage them to chat. DH was one of those children not allowed to talk until all his food was gone and as a result he has no idea about full and empty, wolfs his food down so fast he doesn't taste it and feels like he needs to keep eating until it reaches his belly (ie so too much) and has no table or conversation skills. His siblings are the same.
I had to fight the Man and his Boy to get to the following:
*Dinner time is 6pm (as long as Mummy can do that!),
*No hats at the table,
*Nobody leaves the table until everyone is finished,
*Avoid feeding the kids after 4 or 4.30pm,
*Children (including the Boy) are encouraged to help: set the table, get drinks/drink bottles, and clear the table, (well, S&R are encouraged to help, the Boy is 'expected' to help)
*No television (turned off) but may be radio,
*If plates can't be emptied, then you need to have eaten at least a decent amount (that amount depends entirely on the situation at the time),
*No dessert (or anything else) if plates not emptied,
*If the first glass of drink is finished, then you need to eat more food before a refill.
*Ask to leave the table,
*Dinner conversation encouraged, as long as you still eat your dinner!
Before, it was eating at all hours of the evening (or early morning if it was just the Man and I!), tv ALWAYS on (still happens occasionally! grr!), bad manners, etc.
We don't say grace, but I have no doubt that as Steph gets a bit bigger, it will be something that she will do, at least from time to time. She has a genuine interest in religion and prayer, so I definitely won't quash that.
Lilias; I love your picnic dinners! I might just borrow that idea....
Just re-reading my post.... I feel a bit autocratic :hide: :redface:
We really have no rules out of the norm of sitting & eating, DS who is almost 2 eats at about 5pm as he is in bed at 6pm, DD's Eat at the table at about 6-630pm I sit at the table, DH isnt home for any meals & if he is its very rare, (except for his days off) they dont have to eat it all i dont force it, if they dont like what im making i generally make them something else!