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So, following on from Onyx's thread HERE I was wondering... I know there has been a thread about donated EBM, which I would most definitely be happy to use, but what about a fulltime wet nurse.. I'm not really sure. I think there is a difference between having someone do a fill in feeds for the short term, but I am not sure I would hire someone to feed my baby on a full time basis..
So, your thoughts :)
Yep, if I couldn't bf and the option was available and safe/professional. I strongly believe in the benefits of breastmilk and would do what was possible to give it too my baby. My mum has breastfed a friends child when she was stuck away with a broken down car and she was babysitting :)
if it was ebm then yes as I would still be the one feeding my child iykwim otherwise I would be jelous of their bond....
No i dont think i could. Its just too personal. I couldnt imagine breastfeeding another child and wouldnt feel right having someone else breastfeed my child
Thanks so far for the replies.. I think this is interesting, considering it used to be done all the time, back in the day.. Amaunet and New Dawn, - I would happily accept EBM, or let my friend feed my bub on a one off emergency, but full time?? Thats the part I'm not sure about??
I wouldn't use a wet nurse but I would use donated EBM, however I would feed someone elses baby if they wanted me to.
Me too, essentially I don't think I would have an issue with someone being a wet nurse to express milk for me and me then feeding my baby, or maybe some once in a while feeds like if I wanted to go out or something, but definately not full time. The bond of BFing and just even bottle feeding a baby is too strong to me and should only be done by me or my hubby full time.:
I would also happily breastfeed someone elses bub though if they needed/wanted me to.
Do you think that's strange though, that many of us have no issues with feeding a friend/family members bub (and hence forming a bond) but don't want our own bubs fed by another regularly?
I couldn't use a wet nurse...to personal...but I could and have used donated EBM.
If I was rich enough and I couldn't breastfeed my own baby I don't see any reason not to. If you're working long hours in a well paid job and want your baby breast-fed it seems like a great solution to me.
I would imagine that for a single Mum who is breast-feeding it could also be a great job. You could take your child to work with you which would be fantastic. If your responsibilities ended with feeding and didn't include nannying or house-keeping it could be pretty cruisey after a few months.
ETA - thinking about the benefits of breast-feeding.... are there also benefits in being held close to feed?
Also with the concerns about the close bond.... I think that many bottle feeding mothers would argue that the bond is from being a Mum and feeding with love not from using a breast to feed.
If I couldn't BF, I would use a wet nurse - and I don't have an issue with them BF directly - although I would like to feed the bub EBM myself sometimes. I think there are other ways to bond, plus my experience with DD is that she still loves my BB's but doesn't feed anymore, and I can see how happy she is just being able to snuggle into them, so I think the experience of a bub feeding from someone else may then lead to the bub getting the same pleasure and bond from just being close to my BB's even though not feeding with them. With my mum for example you can see how much DD likes to snuggle in, and I have seen her reach out to friends BB's for comfort and I believe there are benefits to the close contact from BF but I don't believe that BF'ing without anything else leads to the strongest bond so I wouldn't feel threatened by a wet nurse. In the animal kingdom bubs often feed from relatives but they still know who their mum is.
short term (if i had to take medication or something that was harmful to bub) then yes (as a young babe) - i think a toddler like mine could be persuaded to not have a BF for a couple of days, or to take EBM
long term, i don't think i could. we still feed overnight and she will attach and snuggle in of a morning - it is part of "our" time.
I wouldn't hire a wet nurse for full time breastfeeding because i believe that is a major commitment and should be done for love not money.
- i think the actual cost would be more than i could pay, and so paying an amount would cheapen it, and therefore it is better for no money to cross hands.
- Wet nursing has some links to slavery, and has abit of an ick factor for me.
- there is more to breastfeeding than just the breastmilk. the closeness, the looks, the sharing of antibodies etc, doing this for money would make it less enjoyable. And i want it to be enjoyable for my child.
- In saying this, i would like to have a close friend who was willing to breastfeed my child for times when i am unable to (my DD won't take EBM and so we are together or she has to wait) but i don't have someone who would be comfortable in filling that role (i wonder if she would feed from someone else?).
Same... EBM, sure, the occasional BF, yes but full time.. I don't know.:
happily except EBM and maybe let someone who is a close friend or family member feed my baby, but couldn't hire someone. I'd happily be a wet nurse for someone though and not be paid- not full time though as I have my family to think about but happy for there baby to come to me for feeds.
I'm a breastfeeding mum and I'd argue that. Feeding is just that - feeding. I don't feel any bond from it; the bond comes from our snuggles and play time. Not what I expected at all.:
ANd back on topic, if I could afford it, I would. I'd be happy for another mum to feed my baby if there was a reason for it too.
I couldn't.
Breastfeeding to me it's not just about the milk, its the touch, smell, hearing, tasting, its all those sensations that a baby feels, to know that I am their mother. I don't think I could allow someone to do that to my child. It would over step my personal boundaries.
I'm the same. Seeing someone nurse my baby would, well..... I don't think I could handle it.:
If i was bottlefeeding, i would still choose to do all, or the majority, of feeds. I really appreciate those hours and hours that i have spent feeding my LO. Watching her face or having her grab my fingers or top, or have her leg curl around and rest up on my other boob. I wouldn't want to give that up.:
I was just thinking about wet nurses this morning as I was feeding DS! I am not up to date with this sort of thing but I thought wet nurses were a thing of the past? Anyway there is no way I could see another woman breastfeed my baby :( It would be devestating on so many levels (for me). I would consider hireing someone to express though and I would bottle feed bub. This would also be a last resort. If couldn't BF due to supply then I would do everything to boost my own supply 1st and express my own milk.