Just sad tonight and need a hug

Hi girls... I'm Bella, I had a m/c last month. I have been really pragmatic about the loss and tried to be reasonable, after all we got preg first month TTC same as we did with DD so it's not the same as for those people who have to wait and wish for so long. We have started TTC again straight away. I tested today and got a BFN. I am only 10DPO which is the same stage as I tested last cycle and got a positive then so figured it would be worth trying again. Anyway I am surprised at how melancholy I am about the BFN. Even tho I know that there is still a small chance I am UTD and it was too early to test I don't really feel preg and I predicted my last two preg based on how I felt. AGHH.. sorry I feel like I am just rambling here. I am very grateful for our apparent fertility and maybe that is why I didn't let myself get too sad at the m/c, cos I said to myself that it would be ok, cos we would be preg again very soon and now that I don't think I am, I am feeling really vulnerable and suddenly overcome with a sense of grief. It is hard to explain, especially since I know that so many of my friends have taken so much longer than me to concieve, I do feel ungrateful and should probably just shut up. But there you go that is how I am feeling. Sad and not quite coping atm...

xx Bella

sorry your having a hard time :( :hug: x

:hug: feel free to chew my ear on FB chat whenever im on xoxoxoxoxo

It's alright to grieve your loss hon, please don't compare yourself to others. You lost YOUR baby, your future is now different, everything's been affected. Whether someone loses a baby at 4 weeks or 4 months of 40 weeks, it's all the same. I'm sorry for your loss :hug:

:hug:

:hug: oh sweets! A loss is a big thing regardless of when you got pg and when you lost the bubs... don't feel guilty for hurting.

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Thanks girls... reading your responses made me cry. My sister had a chemical preg many years ago, didn't actually miss her period and when she told me about it said she just had one good cry and got on with it that I sorta felt that I should respond like that. Esp since it was so early and we have been so lucky. Anyway, I don't know but thanks everyone I just needed to have a cry tonight I think and hopefully will feel better soon.

xx Bella

hugs to you sweetie you grieve your loss however you like and take as much time as you need to do so
stay strong hun xxxxx

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hugs to you sweetie you grieve your loss however you like and take as much time as you need to do so
stay strong hun xxxxx

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Yeah that!!!
:hug: and another hug... cause you can never have too many.

Whether you are fertile or not, it doesn't make the hurt any less..
I'm so sorry for your loss :hug:

Im so sorry for your loss huni...Huge hugs xxxx

Sending a huge :hug:
I am so sorry for your loss :hug:

Hope your feeling better this morning. Like the others have said you lost your baby and you have every right to be sad. I think that you have been trying to stay strong about it and it finally got to much for you and you needed to give in to it. I am glad there were some lovely ladies here to give you some love last night.
I feel pregnant with DD1 after 3 cycles and got a BFP at 11DPO. With DD2 I got BFN at 14DPO and finally got a BFP at 19DPO. So you may not always get your BFP at the same time every pregnancy.

no words really, just massive :hug::hug: it's hard when you've had a loss, i know for me it leaves me feeling very confused....sorry you're feeling a bit down, hopefully you feel a bit better about things soon, don't give up hope for this month, it might just be to early? all the best with TTC in the future xxx

However you deal with your loss is right for you. Don't worry about how others have dealt with theirs - everyone is different. (I know my gf had moved on fairly quickly from her losses and it confused me & made me think about how I dealt with mine)

10 DPO may be still too early to test. It really depends on when you O - do you know when you did? Your cycle may be different after m/c. Maybe wait a few more days to test again.

((hugs))

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However you deal with your loss is right for you. Don't worry about how others have dealt with theirs - everyone is different.

((hugs))

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Couldn't of said it better, sorry for your loss and GL with the whole TTC!!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk xoxox

Awwww HUGEST of hugs beautiful lady. It's totally understandable that you're feeling it now... I know how much you were trying to 'rationalise' it, but a loss is a loss and it's ok to grieve it. I am crossing everything I have that you get your BFP very soon.

Now look out, or I'll just on a plane and fly up there to give you a big hug in person!!

Thank you Ladies. I am feeling better this morning. DH was away last night too and I think that made it harder, but he is back this morning and so is a better mood. I appreciate the validation from so many of you and the words of hope Kazzo. Rhichichi, I charted this cycle and the thermal shift was pretty clear and showed O as being 11days ago now. I had CM which was consistent with O. Had some spotting last night and a little this am so I will have to wait and see if AF rears her ugly head or if it is implantation spotting. Either way I am feeling better. Sometimes you do just need to have a little cry and a group hug.:grouphug:

Just switched to advanced mode and saw your post Santo, thanks babe, I appreciate the words. Made me tear up again. Remember you always have a place to stay in QLD. I would put on a whole theatrical, 'poor me' performance if I thought it would get you up here for that hug ;)

xx Bella

Please don't try and down play your own feelings in comparison to what anyone else is feeling. just because your journey is not the same as someone elses, doesn't mean your pain isn't as real. you are allowed to grieve however much you need to.

love to you babe. hoping you have a sticky bfp soon

ooh, and I understand the poor me performance to get Santo to visit - she's a bit spesh (just like you!)

:hug: I'm reading a great book at the moment called "Small Miracles" that's written in conjunction with the Bonnie Babes Foundation. It's about the grief that is felt at every stage of pregnancy loss. It might be a good read for you, it's certainly helped me see that how I'm feeling right now is completely normal. I hope that's implantation spotting though sweetheart :hug: