January - April children: start kinder/school earlier or later??

Hi everyone, DS's birthday is Feb 25 2009 and I'm not sure whether the norm would be for him to start prep in 2014 - he'd be 4 years and 11 months, or the following year - and I'd assume he'd then be one of the eldest, if not the eldest.

I ask, because I've been calling around enquiring about enroling him into 3yo kinder next year and numerous places have told me I'd probably be better off deferring and waiting an extra year - but then he'd be turning 4 only a month after starting 3 yo kinder...does that matter?

Apparently it is becomming common for children born in the early months jan-april to wait an extra year before starting kinder/school, even though the cut-off is 5 years old by April 30. And then this would mean, while DS would be turning 6 at the beginning of prep, some kids will still be 4 years old!!

Advice please? :)

you know my thoughts ;)
fwiw in DD1 4 yr old kinder class this year (she will be 5 in november) shes one of the youngest !! we've had about 6 or so birthdays and they have allllll turned 5, not 4.
im all for giving them the bonus year at home...whats the rush, check out Kathy Walker, shes a big advocate for going later than earlier, i dont see any bebefit in going to school young

ETA DD also has a boy in his class this year turing 6 in october...they need to emotionally and socially ready for school

My ds2 was born feb 27 2009 and he will be starting 3yo kinder in 2013, 4yo in 2014 and prep 2015. He's just way too young to be starting next year so we have made the decision to keep him back and do lots of activities with him next year- eg. Playgroup, swimming, soccer.

DD1 is April 1st.... shes turning 4 on Friday. I am keeping her home this year (she does do occassional care 8 hours a week). Next year shes off to 4 year old kinder and she will be turning 5 at the start. Its been a long thought out decision.... I just thought whats the hurry? and if she started school next year it just seems to me she would be so young. Im glad I am keeping her home this year, she doesnt quiet seem ready. Good luck on your decision

I too am another one who thinks the extra year at home is more beneficial.

At lot of the children in my sons kinder group are all turning 5 around now. In fact one little girl turned 5 in December. She comes across as a very mature and social little girl, but the year prior she was anything but so her parents kept her back the year and I think it benfited her greatly as she certainly has a lot more confidence.

My other son started Prep this year and the teachers have actually acknowledge that they have had a fairly smooth transition with all of the prepies and they said that part of that was due to having so many kids turning 6. Socially it must have its benefits.

well im going to say hold him back....when he's at school, he'll be at school till he's nearly 18!! cherish that extra year at home. but i also say that because i do think that kids tend to go better at school when they're held back that little bit. if he's at a pre school with a good education program, he will be getting all he needs until he starts school. i held DS back a year (he will be turning 6 in may) he was soooo not ready last year, but this year, he is going so well at school. he's just picking everything up right away, and he is absolutely loving it. but i know that's just my son, every kid is different....if you're still undecided by the end of the year,take him to orientation at the local school and see what they say? :dunno:

My parents are both teachers, and my two brothers and I are all born in the first half of the year. We could have gone "early" but my parents, as educators, believe that the extra year at home is far far more beneficial than heading off to school early.

Good luck in making your decision!

My little guy started at 4 years and 11 months. He would have gone crazy if he had an extra year at home. He was so excited about going and he was so ready for it. He's settled in really well and he's pretty much the same age as all the other little folk in his class. He was in pre-school last year and when I asked his teacher about holding him back for a year she had a bit of a giggle at me and told me that he was ready so I went with her judgement since she's the professional. My other little guy was one of the youngest in his class because he started under a different system and he has had no trouble. On the contrary, his teachers have never had anything that wasn't positive to say about him, he's excelling in maths and public speaking and he takes a leadership role whenever he can. Another little girl that was in his class who is older than him has been held back to repeat kindy so really it comes down to the individual child.
I think that holding a child back who is school ready just because you want them to be the oldest is silly. There isn't much benefit in being the oldest and it would be a bit depressing being the same level as kids who are a year younger. That said I think sending a child who isn't ready just because they are eligible is silly too.

The NSW education department used to have a school readiness check-list. It was stuff like being able to put their shoes on and their own clothes and being able to raise their hand to ask a question if they needed to and cutting in a straight line and so on. IMO if they tick all the boxes on the school readiness then you send them and if they don't then you keep them back.

Thanks for all your replies!

I didn't realise how common it was to wait! It's good to hear that others are thinking the same things. I'm so glad I asked now, because I was actually in the process of looking at kinders and filling out applications for 3yo next year.

I am now convinced to hold him back. DP has wanted to anyway, but it was the other mums I know that have confused me. In my mothers group and playgroup, the kids are also feb babies and their mothers don't want to wait an extra year because they fear their children will be the eldest and stick out like a sore thumb - physically and intellectually. They are mostly girls though, so maybe it's different? It's a shame that DS's play mates are all going to go off to school before him though.

Onyx, your DS sounds like an independent and confident little boy! The complete opposite of mine! Haha. You're right though, that it really depends on the individual, and if he flourishes in the next year or 2, I'll reconsider.

DS is only 2, but I know that he is very shy and reserved (like me) and he is very soft spoken as well. He is super clingy and whiney and it's "mummy this, mummy that". We do playgroup and gymbaroo and I can tell from observing the others that are his age, that he is no where near as mature as them socially/emotionally. I wonder if he will change dramatically in the next year? But I doubt it. He has also never been away from me so I think 3 yo kinder next year would probably stress him out too much.

It's hard to imagine, but when DS is in year 12 he will be 18 at the beginning of the year so I hope he doesn't get carried away with being "legal" and forget about school!

:

---

It's hard to imagine, but when DS is in year 12 he will be 18 at the beginning of the year so I hope he doesn't get carried away with being "legal" and forget about school!

---

Would not worry too much, there are kids that do and kids that don't. I turned 18 in year 12 and it did not even cross my mind to go out drinking. Those that were drinking were already doing so when they were 17. So age does not stop them if they want to.

DD2's birthday is 28th April, so if she was born 3 days later, we would have no choice. I am leaning towards sending her to Kinder the year she turns 5.

I think it all depends on the child. Sounds like you've made your decision as to what feels right for L. For us I do think Emily (Feb 2009 baby) will be ready for kinder in 2013 and prep year after. I do worry at times about her then being the youngest cause so many kids now are staying home that extra year.
I'm planning to just keep eye the next 2 years and see how she goes. The kinder were hoping to get into is very good and kids have done an extra year if they have needed, they're not automatically just pushed into school. So we'll just see how she goes.
Its just annoying 3 year old kindy they have to be 3 by end Jan but 4yr old end april, should be more consistent.

After having wrestled with this decision myself this year, my best advice would be make up your mind closer to the time. Wait and see how he is.

I'm certainly in the school of hold them back the extra year, and here in the NT I have the luxury of publicly funded preschool so it certainly is an easier choice. But I'm glad I didn't go with my original gut instinct when I started deciding a couple of years ago.

DD1 turned 5 in Feb and she started school this year - there are a lot of kids who are Jan/Feb/March kids who have started this year so she is with her peer group. Also she was very ready and had been talking about school since she was 3 so there was no way she was going to be held back. She has been there nearly a term and is doing really well so I think it was the right decision for her.

DD2 thinks she is already going to "kinder" so I think she will be the same but I will wait and see how she goes closer to actually going to kinder/school. I think you know your child and you are the best judge of what he is like and what will be best for him.

DD is one month younger than your DS, and we will be holding her back that extra year.

:

---

DS is only 2, but I know that he is very shy and reserved (like me) and he is very soft spoken as well. He is super clingy and whiney and it's "mummy this, mummy that". We do playgroup and gymbaroo and I can tell from observing the others that are his age, that he is no where near as mature as them socially/emotionally. I wonder if he will change dramatically in the next year? But I doubt it. He has also never been away from me so I think 3 yo kinder next year would probably stress him out too much.

---

FWIW my March boy was exactly the same. In fact at the age of 2, he would refuse to have anything to do with other children his age LOL. He would wait until play equipment was clear of children before venturing in there. At music he would cling to me, not participate in singing etc.. he would play the big drum tho ;) Then at the age of 3 it was like a switch was turned on. And he started to open up socially. 2 days of 3yo preschool did him wonders. He started Kindergarten (big school) this year, and there is just no way he could have been held back (just like Onyx). I've had a chat to his teacher about various things, he was definitely very ready for school, so no issues there, he did say that we might hit a few bumps along the way socially because he's one of the youngest, one of those bumps at the moment is the tiredness that comes from the effort of school. There are 6 yr olds in his class and he's only just turned 5, but he's doing just fine :) Going by the birthdays at preschool, majority of the kids were turning 5 in the 2nd half of the year, so really were probably only 6mths older than him.. not all of them are going to be significantly older, if that makes sense. I completely agree that the decision needs to be made closer to the time rather than now at the age of 2. When you think about it, all the Nov/Dec babies won't have a choice of when to start.. that's only 2/3 months older than your DS. So I wouldn't go in believing that he'll be completely surrounded by 6 yr olds if he starts at 5 :)

I agree with waiting to decide. Most of my friends have boys my DS's age, & they will probably all start primary school the year after DS, even though they are only a month or 2 younger. But I haven't really made up my mind when DS will go yet.

DD1 was ready & has done really well. She did struggle in year one & two, but that was because of the school she was at in kindy, she's doing really well now.

I talked to DD2's preschool teacher & she said DD was ready, the only thing we were worried about was her speech. That has improved 100% since starting school last year.
I was just talking to the school councillor about her today & she agreed that it was the right thing for her after doing an assessment on her for other reasons.
She said as long as they are happy to go & not upset over it they should be fine. My DD hated daycare, but refuses to miss a day of school!
She wouldn't have been able to handle another year at home... neither would I!!

my DD turned 5 on the 18th feb, we decided to hold her back this year, it was a really hard decision but it was definitely the right one for her, she did have to say goodbye to a few of her friends from pre school but thats life, these things happen and she has other friends at pre school now. i know she will be more than ready to go next year

my DS is 10th march (he is 3) so we will face the same decision with him, especially being a boy but we will make a decision on how he is going closer to the time

i don't think i have seen a person say yet they regretted holding their child back

:

---

My little guy started at 4 years and 11 months. He would have gone crazy if he had an extra year at home. He was so excited about going and he was so ready for it. He's settled in really well and he's pretty much the same age as all the other little folk in his class. He was in pre-school last year and when I asked his teacher about holding him back for a year she had a bit of a giggle at me and told me that he was ready so I went with her judgement since she's the professional. My other little guy was one of the youngest in his class because he started under a different system and he has had no trouble. On the contrary, his teachers have never had anything that wasn't positive to say about him, he's excelling in maths and public speaking and he takes a leadership role whenever he can. Another little girl that was in his class who is older than him has been held back to repeat kindy so really it comes down to the individual child.
I think that holding a child back who is school ready just because you want them to be the oldest is silly. There isn't much benefit in being the oldest and it would be a bit depressing being the same level as kids who are a year younger. That said I think sending a child who isn't ready just because they are eligible is silly too.

The NSW education department used to have a school readiness check-list. It was stuff like being able to put their shoes on and their own clothes and being able to raise their hand to ask a question if they needed to and cutting in a straight line and so on. IMO if they tick all the boxes on the school readiness then you send them and if they don't then you keep them back.

---

Yep I agree with Onyx. I think it depends on your child and sometimes some boys aren't ready til another year later due to how they develop differently to girls too. I really think it's a very individual basis and decision only a parent can make and at the age of 2, we don't really know when our child is going to be ready just yet kwim?

i was talking to my cousin about it on the weekend and were she lives (ivanhoe) they seem to send younger where as out my way the norm seems to hold back, i find this interesting!

My Dd is an April baby. We were faced with the decision of starting her or holding her back. I spoke at great length to her kinder teacher who told me that my DD was very 'school ready'. She talked about emotional maturity, resilience and social skills. We did start my DD when she was 4 years 10 months and she has done very well. She is now in grade 3, excels in maths and is very much a leader within her peer group. We made the right decision for her. She is the youngest in her class, some of the kids are almost two years older then she is, but she socialises well and in some ways is more mature and more resilient than some of the oldest kids.

I would wait until the end of the year before deciding and look at your DS's independence and maturity at that time. I don't think there is a 'right' decision which will suit everyone as every kid is different!

This has made me think, DS is in prep this year (hes a november bub so we didnt really have to think about this) BUT he has been to 3 birthday parties so far, and all three have been 6th Birthdays.
The school he goes to, and a few schools near us have prep-reception, which is sort of like kinder crossed with prep. Most of the kids there are 4 turning 5 before May.

Thanks everyone, I have read each post with much interest and thought!!

I agree, having just turned 2 years old it's not completely reliable to be predicting how soon he will mature. I'm still going to defer 3yo kinder though and he can start in 2013. And if he does really well during that year and has that "switch" moment (I hope!!), then maybe we will forget about 4yo kinder altogether and he can go straight to big school, even though he will be one of the youngest. Either way he will be one of the oldest or one of the youngest!! Part and parcel of having an early year bub I guess??!

I'm glad all your decisions have worked out though - it's good that we go by school-readiness signs rather than strictly by the age cut-off.

Liz, I hope my DS has that moment and becomes more confident and independent! I know what it's like to be painfully shy and socially awkward throughout school, and it isn't fun! I wouldn't wish that for him at all.

Thanks again for all your replies. They have definitely reassured me :)

ETA, Olive - I think my area is similar to your cousin's in that most are sending their children earlier - well all the mums I know anyway! That's why I was confused in the first place! But a few of the kinders are recommending that extra year at home so, pfft, whatever goes I reckon!

the same cousin used to live in camberwell and when there, it was the norm to hold back!
im not sure about doing 3 yr old then straight to school, 4 year old is very important in teaching basic school readiness

Hmm well a few places I've enquired at (elcs and day cares with kinder programs) have a shared kinder room with multi-ages (3-5), and then off to school when they;re ready. So the 3 year olds are doing the same things as the 5 years olds, etc. I suppose it's different at each centre.

It would be good if there was consistency between them though??

Also, with the community/council-based kinders, I kinda just though 4yo was similar to 3yo but just more hours? Clearly I have no idea!! :p

We'll see how he settles in anyway - plenty of time to wait and see, although I'm pretty adament he'll be going to big school later rather than earlier :) And yes, I'd prefer for him to do 2 years of kinder before heading off to school too.