Name dilemma. WWYD?

First off, I have no announcement to make :lol:

It's been on my mind for a while and starting to bug me. I've known what I wanted to name my babies for years. DD was given the name I had for a girl, but the boys name has now become a little tricky.

I was always going to name a boy after my grandfather. I like the name, and I wanted to honour him, he was very important to not only me but the entire family. Unfortunately, he didn't live to know my plans, but my nan did.

Only recently has it come to my attention that my grandfather didn't like his name. He didn't want any of his kids/grandkids to have children and name them after him. But my nan loved the idea that we would name a boy after him and now she isn't here either for me to ask her opinion.

So what would you do? Would you go with your original thoughts, regardless of how your grandfather felt, or honour his wishes?

TIA

I think if it is something that you have always wanted to do than you should. Your GF may not have liked his name, but if you do then go for it.

Also, does he have a middle name or a nick name that you could use instead.

I'd use it as a middle name, that way you are not going against his wishes by having it as a first name and also respecting your Nan by having his name in your childs name even if it's not first name.

Kazzo - he didn't have a middle name, and his nickname is just the normal name shortened - ie Nicholas to Nick.

Heather - I've been thinking about that idea too. Thanks.

I would go with heathers suggestion that way everyones happy and respected :D

It's tricky! FWIW I dislike my name but would still be proud if someone named their child after me :D If you're unsure you could use his name as your future DS' middle name. Or is there different spelling or some kind of variation you could use?

In that case I would go with what heather said too.

But it makes me wonder, surely if your GF did not like his name then your Nana would have known this and yet she was so happy for you to want to use it.

maybe you could find an alternate for the name, like a german or russian equivlent if possible?

i have only just found out that my grandma was realy p*ssed at my mum for giving me her first name as my middle name, my aunts wont tell me why tho, just she wasnt a very happy lady with the decission. im not a fan of it, but i liked that it was hers and also mine as she passed when i was 5, but now im not so sure.
i dont why mum went ahead and gave me her name when she knew grandma wasnt happy for her to do it.
sorry im not much help.

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In that case I would go with what heather said too.

But it makes me wonder, surely if your GF did not like his name then your Nana would have known this and yet she was so happy for you to want to use it.

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Yeah, I know! I couldn't believe it when I found out he didn't like his name and nan had said nothing! If we had done it when he was alive though, he wouldn't have said anything either! They were very "whatever makes you happy" genuine people. Which is why I've struggled with this one because I know if they were still here and I asked them, that's what they'd say :)

Sarah - the alternate is a good idea too, might see what we can come up with.

Thanks for all the ideas everyone. You know what'll happen though. When the time comes for #2, we'll agonize over this and we'll have another girl :lol:

Well if that happens you could always use the female version of it.

Nicole
Nicola

I'd still use it... I'm assuming you'd be using the name because it represents the qualities you loved in your grandfather rather than the sound of the name itself. I like heather's idea of using it as a middle name as well. I challenge anyone, living or not, not to be at least a little bit chuffed that someone named their son after them, regardless of what that name is =), it's the ultimate toast!

what heather said - as a mdidle name. I think that a first name should be unique to the baby, but middle names can be 'for' someone. I also especcially like using maternal family names for the middle names. Given The paternal name is usually the last name.

We used my maiden name for my daughters middle name, and my grandfathers name for my sons middle name (which is also one of my dads middles names)...my dad hates it...but he was chuffed that we used it. My dad was only 3 when his dad dies, so has no memories of him, and by total coincidence my son was born within 2 hours of my granddads birthday! So that was kind of nice.

And since middle names are rarely used, your granddad probably wouldn't mind so much...chuffed is a good word!

Hope you have a son one day! xo

I would use the name. Its a lovely name and I'm sure he would still be honored, even if he didn't like it himself.

I've had a think about this myself, because I'd love to name a baby after my Nana, but I know she hated her name - a lot of people actually didn't know what her real name was! But she loved Berenice, which was close to her name (Bernice) but far enough away that it wasn't the same thing y'know? So I'd go with Berenice.

Maybe your Nan was happy at the motive behind it, rather than the actual name?

If Amelia was a boy, she was going to have the male version of my nan's middle name as her middle name. Then I remembered how much Nan hated her middle name, so then it would've been Nan's favourite brother's name instead :)


Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks ;)

I wouldnt use it more for your sons reason, imagine you telling him when older " You were named after your Great-Grandfather but ah he didnt like his name " !

I think the suggestion of his middle name if he had one or something similar to your Grandfather's first name !

You might change your mind anyway by the time comes babe. The girls name I had all ready had DS been a girl, I had planned to use next time (assuming we have a girl), but now two years on, the name (Zara Evelyn) just doesn't hold the same appeal to me (even though it has special meaning as Zara is the middle name of DS's godmother, and the Evelyn was DH's favourite (but deceased) Auntys name

However if the name is still special to you when the time comes, I say use it, you've talk to your Nan about it and have her blessing, and I think your grandfather would be chuffed. While I wouldn't particularly want any poor child to have the name Naomi (everyone spells it wrong), I'd burst with pride if someone named their child for me...

Speaking of which, Have you thought of a girls name should you have DD#2? :rofl:

You've all given me more to think about! With each reply, I've thought, oh yeah, great point there! I think I'm leaning towards having the middle name as my grandfather's name and the first name something else.

Nay - No idea on a girl's name either. Oh it's going to be a challenge when the time comes! I had DD's name and the boy's name picked and set in cement for, oh I dunno, maybe 8 years or so! Takes me a long time to get settled on one, to say the least!

I changed my name a few years back so I had my great-grandmother's middle name as my middle name. I have always loved the name and I suddenly realised I may not ever have a daughter to give it to, and a granddaughter... well, she's not mine to name really... so changed my name.

My grandma was happy about it, but I then found out great-grandma hated her middle name LOL. I still love it. (Grandma hates her name too, but much as I love Grandma I wouldn't use the name for one of my children, I think she decided to nip that thought in the bud if it was there though!)