Depression and the 6 Human Needs

Watch Me! YouTube - Tony Robbins on The Hour

This clip is a must listen. I have seen on one of his DVDs (Ultimate Relationship Program) which is better for people to see if they really want change... but in the DVD he works with a woman who is suffering from depression and has considered suicide... by the end of it, she's no longer depressed because she's learnt how to change her state. Some very important information and a way which may help to free yourself from depression. The more tools and skills we have, the better! :)

Of the millions of people he has worked with around the world, he says while we are all so very different, every single human has these six needs.

When our needs aren't met, we may seek that through food, sex, drugs, alcohol... and when something meets at least three of our needs, you become ADDICTED to it. Read on below to see what those needs are and how that works.

4 Needs of the Personality

1. Certainty/Comfort. We all want comfort. And much of this comfort comes from certainty. Of course there is no ABSOLUTE certainty, but we want certainty the car will start, the water will flow from the tap when we turn it on and the currency we use will hold its value.

Watch me! Clip on Certainty - (the clips are from the work he does with the depressed woman I mentioned above).

2. Variety. At the same time we want certainty, we also crave variety. Paradoxically, there needs to be enough UNcertainty to provide spice and adventure in our lives.

3. Significance. Deep down, we all want to be important. We want our life to have meaning and significance. I can imagine no worse a death than to think my life didn't matter.

4. Connection/Love. It would be hard to argue against the need for love. We want to feel part of a community. We want to be cared for and cared about.

Watch me! Clip on Variety, Significance, Connection & Love

2 Needs of the Spirit

5. Growth. To become better, to improve our skills, to stretch and excel may be more evident in some than others, but it's there. If you don't grow, what do you do? You die.

6. Contribution. The desire to contribute something of value - to help others, to make the world a better place than we found it is in all of us. Fulfilment only truly comes when you know you've done something for others.

Watch me! Clip on Growth and Contribution

You just have to google to find many comments like this one, from people who learn and apply what tools Tony teaches:

"I have been very depressed recently even so much that I was diagnosed as a Maniac Depression. Since I have been on Unleash the Giant within seminar I dont allow myself to get depressed again. I have also been on the 10-day Health Challenge more or less since Wednesday. Wednesday and Thursday I stuck to it completely and today and yesterday more or less as yesterday I had a date and went to Frankie & Bennies for the first time. The days I stuck to it completely I felt happier and more alive. I have just been to Tony s Unleash the Giant within seminar and it was absolutely out of this world. If you need any advice let me know."

About Anthony Robbins

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Innovator in Psychology and Intervention

As a recognized catalyst for developing systems and strategies for accelerated and lasting transformations in individuals worldwide, Robbins has been sought after by psychologists and psychiatrists for training. Robbins, along with his partner Cloe Madanes, created almost ten years ago the Robbins-Madanes Center for Strategic Intervention, which produces training materials and programs for the therapeutic community. Together they have trained more than 100,000 therapists. For more than 20 years, Madanes has served as world-renowned teacher of therapists. Two of her books are considered classic texts—Strategic Family Therapy and The Violence of Men. Robbins appeared as a featured author in one of her books—Relationship Breakthrough: How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life. Robbins and Madanes are actively involved in the Council for Human Rights of Children at the University of San Francisco, a prestigious international think tank created to develop and codify methods to ensure the rights of children are maintained and championed. Robbins was among the speakers featured at the Council's 2005 meeting at the University of Oxford, where he addressed "Alternatives to Institutionalization of Children and Youth in Crisis." He also has been a featured speaker at The Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference, the world's largest psychotherapy conference that brings together more than 10,000 industry leaders from around the world every five years

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For more than three decades, Anthony Robbins has served as an advisor to leaders around the world.

A recognized authority on the psychology of leadership, negotiations, organizational turnaround and peak performance, he has impacted the lives of more than 50 million people from over 100 nations.

One of the most sought-after speakers in the world, more than 3.5 million people from over 100 countries have attended Anthony Robbins' live seminars or speaking engagements. Robbins has spoken for such distinguished audiences as the British Parliament, Harvard Business School, and the World Economic Forum.

Robbins was recognized by Accenture as one of the Top 50 Business Intellectuals in the World, by American Express as one of the Top 6 Business Leaders in the World to coach their entrepreneurial clients and by the Harvard Business School Press as one of the Top 200 Business Gurus.

Mr. Robbins is also credited with initiating the Life Coaching industry over three decades ago. His bestselling books Unlimited Power and Unleash The Giant Within introduced a philosophy of personal action that combined individual responsibility, emotional resourcefulness, and strategic intelligence based on recent breakthroughs in linguistics, strategic studies, neuroscience and peak performance.

Robbins' unique experience of working with millions of people live and in person led him to develop a series of principles and tools called Human Needs Psychology. It is in applying these principles one-on-one that he is able to lead people to extraordinary results, even in the face of dire challenges.

Robbins' one-on-one intervention work with individuals from all walks of life, whether onstage at seminars or in his private consultations, formed the template for modern one-on-one coaching practices. Robbins' audio recordings of these concepts, strategies, and exercises led to producing the #1-selling audio coaching system of all time, which has transformed many millions of lives.
Since 2002, Anthony Robbins has partnered with renown teacher Cloe Madanes to form the Robbins-Madanes Center for Strategic Intervention, which is dedicated innovating cutting-edge strategic solutions to the most pervasive and difficult problems.

But I did find that psychotherapy with an experienced psychiatrist ultimately left me strong, well and depression-free. I'm pretty sure that this path has proven, replicable results

Thats great charliebear! Different things work for different people - some people try things and they don't work, so it's great to have alternatives out there. Some people also can't afford ongoing psychology or psychotherapy... and some people spend years and years working with someone to get to that place and want quicker results. So some free information can mean a big difference, in conjunction with therapy or without.

Kelly - isn't Anthony Robbins work amazing? Also his work with Chloe Madanes...I started looking into his stuff about 2 years ago and I find it so inspirational and intriguing!

One thing I find in our path of growth though is that sometimes people aren't ready to open themselves up to the information that could free/heal them...everyone is on a different journey and some people seem to get further along than others...

Absolutely... I just got to a point in my life where I didn't want to live like that anymore. I would look at people like Robbins, Byron Katie... and want nothing more than to be able to be as free as they were. A life of emotional freedom, is bloody amazing. To be able to have a huge smile on your face and feel a genuine love of your life.... so far from where I was before. So many do not know Robbins work for what it is.... he's not a motivational speaker. He's AMAZING. :)

I have seen a lady that does this hypnosis/nlp stuff that is absolutely amazing. Basically she takes away any negative associations linked with beliefs from our childhood. I've seen her a couple of times and it's amazing how in an hour she takes away so much emotion from your childhood/past. Even just the other day I had a negative emotion come up - you know that yucky feeling in your chest - and so I know it's time to go back and see her again and deal with it...She is just AMAZING! My mum has had a lot of emotional issues and the change in her is really fantastic...pm me if you want her details!!

Yup Robbins does NLP, we did timeline therapy too, it was incredible. He'll be back in Sydney next year, for Unleash the Power Within. I'm going back, and taking my daughter :) It's full on, but blew me away, and I walked on fire!!!

I would have LOVED to go...great that he's coming back next year - wont' be bfing then!! Might have to start saving!! LOL!

I would if I were you - it will change your life - no matter what you know now. I dealt with stuff I never knew existed before. Even before I went, I thought I was in a really good headspace... but it got rid of all this clutter I didnt know was still holding me back. Love love love Anthony Robbins. He's such a gift to this world.

NLP in the wrong hands can be as dangerous as it is good. I hope he talks about it in a way thats responsible.

A person needs just 3 things to be happy in this world

Someone to love
Something to do
and Something to hope for

Tony Robbins has just copied Buddhas teachings and expanded... Shame Tony...Shame...

Really? I have all those three things and still choose depression because it clearly meets a need for me. I think that's why the original post had so many people so worked up - not that you'd know it now.

I've now watched the first clip in its entirety and am bemused about why it's a must see. In a 12-minute clip, there's only a snippet about depression. Namely, the story about the 61-year-old woman who was depressed because she hadn't had the 3 children she felt she should, hence life wasn't meeting her expectations.

I agree about this stuff being derivative of Buddhism. I'd rather read a book about that rather than watch over-hyped, commercial stuff done for profit.

Hi all,

Apparently the posts were removed accidentally as the mod thought it was now a private forum. Astrolady will replace your posts is you request - but she's having difficulty doing so at the moment.

Cheers


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If the thread is to remain then I think that all replies should remain, not just those that agree with the original poster.
I was in favour of removal of the thread due to the damaging effect it was having on people with depression with the suggestion that somehow they had chosen this living hell. But I think to keep the thread and just positive responses is even more offensive, so I would like to have my posts reinstated please.

ETA I would have probably kept my opinions to myself if it weren't a sticky. Making it a sticky makes it much harder to let it slide, particularly when it is obviously upsetting to so many. This is not simply a difference of opinion, it is leaving something that people have expressed great upset from, stuck on the board forever more, to keep picking at the scab. The average poster does not have the power to post their opinions as a sticky. With power comes responsibility.

Polly - I think they plan to reinstate all previous replies as per the PP, but Astrolady is currently having difficulty doing so.

I think the thread is now in a much better "home" too :)

My understanding us that your posts will be reinstated if you request them to be - request to Astrolady.


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I understood by the previous post that previous responses would be reinstated upon request, hence my request. I wasn't being inpatient re the technical difficulties, Rome wasn't built in a day

I wouldn't mind my posts to be put back either.

My final post answered Kelly's question very honestly. I never saw if there were any replies after this as it was all gone by the time I got back online.

I suspect that perhaps is was removed because it mentioned suicide.

Whoops! My bad - I misread the post. Sorry. :)

fionas - you missed the other clips that were in that original post, that go into detail on the different points/needs. You need to watch them all to understand it.

Initially the post was dissected because there was panic from members when we moved the post into here, then we got confused and realised it was not a private forum. However, people need to be logged in to see the D&A forum, but this one not.

The majority wanted it moved from depression, so I moved it - I am happy for the depression to be talk about depression and thats it. However if you don't want alternative options in there, then in this forum for alternatives, some of your posts would be redundant as this forum IS about alternatives and self-help, AND if the depression forum is only for posts about depression, then this should be a forum for those who only want to discuss alternatives and self help? There is cross over here when you don't want cross over there.... I thought you'd be happy that the post was moved as requested, and you dont want those posts over there, but you're happy to come in here and disagree with self help options which this forum is designed for?

Kelly, how is a post that talks of depression and a suicidal person receiving help not about depression?

It sounds as though you're suggesting those with mental illness are not welcome to have an opinion in other forums. I'm sure that is not what your intention was but once again the tone of this is reinforcing the stigma of mental health in society.

If you're not interested in self help then stay depressed??

These issues are extremely complex and sensitive, especially for those suffering now, discussion should reflect that.

Im not saying that people can't post here... but some people in depression didn't want it in there... so I moved it.

It kinda makes an alternative options forum pointless if it's going to be bombarded with people complaining about alternatives, especially when they have no interest in what's being posted and wont even look at the clips... it's why we have a c/s support forum, for people who want support for c/s without being bombarded with vaginal birth messages and comments... I think each area deserves its own respect and while you or others may not agree in alternatives to traditional depression remedies, I think its fair to respect some people do want to try these things, so flooding the thread with anti- messages is not helpful. I actually got rep points for posting that thread aside from the comments in the thread (thanking me for posting an alternative option), but when people see a thread so one sided, they tend not to post themselves. Where is the safe space for people who agree with it? This forum is for people who want to explore emotional growth and development but in the depression forum, this sort of thing is not whats wanted there.

I get what you're saying Kelly, but I didn't realise you had to agree to all forms of self help in order to post in here. Some I find helpful, others not. Because I haven't found these clips helpful, am I not allowed to post that?

I didn't say you have to agree to all forms of self help. But if you want ideas to help yourself, this is what its for. Many of the posts were not open to self help ideas for depression, and feel its best handled by a psych and drugs - which is fine... just two different options.

My issue is not with seeking self help. It is with promoting in any way the concept that people choose depression.
This is offensive, incorrect and a dangerous message to send to people who are already vulnerable

I'm pretty sure people with depression are interested in emotional growth too. This thread is searchable so where it exists isn't so important.


I think that it's great that some people can be 'fixed' so easily. I can't, that sucks. It's not because I'm not interested in emotional development or because I'm holding on to my depression or that I have no insight into my needs(I read the post and the information is pertinent if your not up to speed on that kind of thing).

I search, I saw this thread, I'm offended. The thread is offered as help for depressed people, to fix depressed people quickly and easily. No mention of different people or broken people like me, no mention that it's an alternative to mainstream therapy (which has helped many, many people) which can help some people with specific problems.

The other reason I take umbrage to this post is because as Bellybelly's creator you are well respected Kelly. People look up to you. When several people reported distress at the original post but you fiercely defended it, it gave the impression that their opinions and well-being were not as important as this message you so strongly believe in.

I feel like context has been lost as I was having a conversation on here
and that has been lost (until the posts are reinstated).

Once again, Kelly, the majority of posts and general sentiment was with the tone and introduction of the post. Even when you removed the posts, you once again started taking about power and choice. It's hard to deal with this issues adequately because the context has been lost with the removal of posts. I would like to have all the posts returned (unless someone requests their post NOT to be replaced) so that the conversation can continue.

I don't think it's particularly fair that our posts were removed without warning or explanation and then we have to request to have them back.

I hope we can continue this conversation.


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Exactly, although I thought it was in an inappropriate part of the forum, I also had a lot more to my posts. Why it offended me and I also answered the questions about how this post made me feel and why. 95% of my deleted posts would still be very relevant. I don't think it's all or none, I do believe in medication, it's helped me, but so have a lot of other things.

Some people believe in medication and others don't is what you said, Kelly. Does that mean you believe this to be the cure of depression? Does that mean you don't believe in it all or just for you? No malice, I'm just curious.

Again, for the record, I had NO issue with self help, AR or alternative therapies.
I did have issue with the tone, wording and how our posts were seemingly ignored.

"when you walk in the freedom of self worth, the opinions of others no longer shackle you"

Anyone watch the last season of Dexter? Rofl, I keep thinking of it.

P.s this is joke, I'm sure AR isn't a serial killer ;) that we know of, anyway.

Take it

So a post with an opinion that I understand to mean "you have depression because you love being depressed, choose it and need it, but some person thinks he can change your mind and cure you" isn't actually about depression, but curing it. The deprression forum isn't an appropriate place to talk about curing depression. Actually, it is - just not in such an abrasive way, IMO.

I don't care if people think I choose depression or not - that's their stupidity to live with, not mine. But opinions, especially sticky ones, need to be more carefully worded as to not cause offence.

They claim to be different ways to cure depression, everyones depression (who has it) is different, while he maybe able to cure some, others maybe more complicated. I do NOT believe we choose depression, there is no way I wanted to go through the last 6 years of this hell I have been though.

Im one who believes in meds, I have tried other things such as energy healing (Kinesiology), which didnt work, also because I was taking western medicine for asthma and they told me they cannot continue unless I stop taking it - to which my reply is no way I need it to breathe properly. I have tried hypnotherapy, which works for a while however, the root of the problem or trigger as you may call it comes back when another major event triggers the depression again. I have tried distance Reiki and this one I do believe in, it really helped get me back to a place of emotional being that I could be strong enough to move forward, however I am also taking the meds, I needed something extra to help me through a rough patch. Anyway that is just my opinion just wanted to show some other therapies do work (however for me just for a short period) and I need to take meds for the longer period to take the edge off the depression which I never seem to be "cured" from.

i think this man is brilliant. very motivational. i think it would take a bit more to pull someone from deep depression than just a motivational speech. in my experience,someone that is very depressed is not in a state of mind to even want to absorb anything like this. but in saying that, a lot of other issues that arise (we all have em) could possibly be solved or seen more clearly. i know i just watched the first clip and had a few "ah ha" moments.

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I don't care if people think I choose depression or not - that's their stupidity to live with, not mine. But opinions, especially sticky ones, need to be more carefully worded as to not cause offence.

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So far, I've yet to meet anyone with any type of depression who "chooses" to suffer from it. ;)

In the first video segment, Tony Robbins commented on how when someone is depressed you can tell! "When someone's depressed where's their head, where's their shoulders? Down!" Talk about over generalising depression!
There's a big difference between being depressed and "suffering from depression", and that video clip annoyed me so much that I stopped watching it after the 2 minute mark. I've "suffered" from depression for many years, and suggestions that a behavioral/motivational speaker or positive affirmist (what ever label he has) can alter that suggestively is insulting to my intelligence. I don't mope around or hang my head, and most people would have no idea. I wish my depth of depression was so simply overcome by re-evaluating key needs and creating a positive outlook, but this isn't a workplace presentation I'm having here, this is my life!
Every human being is unique, irrespective of our nervous system similarites. I have an I.Q. and and E.Q. along with a unique personality and don't like to be generalised. Body language is all well and good, but not when it's over simplified, and there's always more to the puzzle than what first appears.
Today people are to caught up in quick fixes. Everyone wants everything now! Why wait? Just do steps 1 to 8 and you're all fixed. Simple! ........... I wish!
Sorry if I've ranted here, but that video really got up my nose and I had to share my thoughts!

Um, Robbins has formed a working partnership with world renown Chloe Madanes, she is the president of his centre, so if you would like to make a more educated opinion, you can read about her here: Workshops with Cloé Madanes - she is the female voice talking over most of the intervention DVDs. Robbins is not a motivational speaker. Again, you're making a conclusion on work you haven't even learnt about or experienced. It's like trying to describe a country you've never even been to... taken one point and ridden it to death because you don't understand his work.

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Cloé Madanes is a world-renowned innovator and teacher of family and brief therapy and one of the originators of the strategic approach to family therapy. She has authored seven books that are classics in the field: Strategic Family Therapy; Behind the One-Way Mirror; Sex, Love, and Violence; The Secret Meaning of Money; The Violence of Men; The Therapist as Humanist, Social Activist, and Systemic Thinker; and Relationship Breakthrough.

She has presented her work at professional conferences all over the United States, Europe, and South America, and has given keynote addresses for The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, The National Association of Social Workers, The Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference, The Erickson Foundation, The California Psychological Association, and many other national and international organizations. She has won several awards for distinguished contribution to psychology and has counseled outstanding individuals from all walks of life.

She has been featured in Newsweek, Vogue magazine, The Washington Post, and the Boston Globe. Her books have been translated to more than ten languages.

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Her resume:

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ASSOCIATIONS

Clinical Member, Supervisor and Fellow of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy
EDUCATION

Licenciada in Psychology, Facultad de Filosofia y Letras, Buenos Aires, Argentina, 1965.
FORMER POSITIONS

Adjunct Associate Professor, Department of Psychiatry, University of Maryland, Baltimore, Maryland, 1980 to 1984.

Clinical Assistant Professor, Department of Psychiatry, University of Maryland Hospital, Baltimore, Maryland, 1974 to 1980.

Clinical Assistant Professor, Department of Psychiatry, Howard University Hospital, Washington, D.C., 1975 to 1979.

Director, Family Therapy Institute of Washington D.C. ,Rockville ,Maryland , 1975 to 2001.

Director, Family Therapy Center of Maryland ,Rockville ,Maryland , 1975 to 2001.

HONORS

Awarded the degree of Doctor of Humane Letters, honoris causa, by the Trustees of the University of San Francisco on the nomination of the faculty and by virtue of the authority vested in them by the Sovereign State of California, May 18, 2001.

Recognized as a Master Therapist by the American Psychotherapy Association, January, 2005.

Presented with a Certificate of Honor by Gavin Newsom, Mayor of the City and County of San Francisco, on behalf of the City and County, for her advocacy in international children’s concerns and as one of the foremost pioneers of strategic family therapy, May 5, 2005.

Award for Distinguished Contribution to Psychology, California Psychological Association, 2000.

1996 Egner Foundation Award for Distinguished Contribution in the fields of Psychology, Anthropology and Philosophy, University of Zurich ,Switzerland.

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CURRENT POSITIONS

President, The Robbins-Madanes Center for Strategic Intervention, 1295 Prospect, Suite 201, La Jolla, CA, 92037 Robbins Madanes Center

Speaker, Global Issues and Communications, International Information Programs, U.S. Department of State

President, The Madanes Institute, 1295 Prospect, Suite 201, La Jolla, CA 92037.

Director, Program for the Prevention of School and Family Violence, University of San Francisco Center for Child and Family Development.

Director, Council for Human Rights of Children, University of San Francisco Center for Child and Family Development.

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I think she knows a thing or two about psychology and psychiatry, and anyone of her well known status would not associate with a quack. She is very well known in psychology/psychiatric circles an their centre trains therapists and not just people, as well as working with governments etc. Again, you need to watch all the clips I posted, not just the first one.

Impressive reviews and recommendations from staff at Harvard medical school, and more: http://www.cloemadanes.com/pages/reviews.htm

That's pretty funny - a woman who deals with crazy people has the last name Madanes. Sorta like Madness, although I know it isn't pronounced the same.