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People all react differently to the news that they are pregnant. As much as they know they will love their baby unconditionally, sometimes it takes a little while to bond with your baby, which is perfectly normal.
This might be the case when you have just given birth to your first baby. Newborn babies can look quite strange looking sometimes - he/she might have a cone-shaped head or be covered in blood.
This poll is to see how long it took our members to bond with their babies.
Straight after Kameron was born and I got to hold him in my arms. I never knew proper true love till I held him.
Love
I bonded with DD around the six week mark. She was such a high demand baby and was never happy. It was around the 6 week mark, that she became a tinnier bit settled and I could get to know her more.
We bonded while I was pregnant, but also as soon as we looked into each others eyes immediately after birth. We knew each other...
I bonded with Nicholas the second the ob pulled him out, after we spent some alone time together in the hospital, i knew i would die for my little man.
I never knew you could love something so little so much.
The bonding between mother and child is the most powerful emotion that i have ever felt.
i didnt bond with josh untill he was about 3 months old.. mainly because for the first week i was stuck in hospital coz he was too lazy to feed and lots lots of birht weight and was jaundice so he was just crying all the time.. then 2 days after i got home i was back in hospital for another week with an infection, they werent.. sure where it was but it was infected somewhere.. and then i finally got home but the baby blues and pnd started to creep in being so far away from family.. and then when i almost gave it all in at 2 and a half months old i couldnt because i just looked at him and he smiled and gave a chuckle and it just melted me i was soo into him and loved him so much it was then that i bonded
Lesley
I think "bonding" is a very hard word to define.
I bonded with Paris when she was in my tummy, but when she was out I didn't feel like she knew who I was until she was about 6 mths old...but that was my insecurities. I loved her more than anything so if thats the bond you are all referring to then that was instant. But I was so scared she didn't know who I was because of the c-sect & because bf'ing got stuffed up. People tell me now that I was very much borderline, if not a full sufferer of PND. But its so hard to know what your feelings mean at the time iykim. I loved Paris from the moment I saw her on that monitor at 11 weeks, if not before. I desperately wanted her to be ok (was terrified of mc) and I loved every kick and every gurgle until the day she was born. Having Paris helped me alot to realise my issues with bonding with *anyone*. And hopefully with #2 it will be more of a smooth process, but no matter what Paris will always be special...the bond we have now is unbreakable!
I worry for so many others who analyse the bonding process as I did, and think they *didn't* bond when actually they did. Just because it wasn't something out of hollywood, doesn't mean it didn't happen LOL! And don't let bonding be another thing to feel guilty about...as mothers we feel guilty enough without adding one more thing to the list!
*hugs*
Cailin
I loved Aidyn straight from the beginning, but I don't think I actually 'bonded' with him until he was about 8 weeks old. - That was when he began to sleep through the night, and because I was getting more sleep too I managed to get my sanity and emotions back in check, and thats when I was able to finally make/feel our special connection.
I loved Kimberley the moment i saw her.
hmmm... it took me ages to bond with Matilda... like 12 weeks or so, I was just amazed by her & loved her but had no idea...
I loved Lily from the moment she was put onto my stomach. But i didnt really bond with her til around one week after that. I was just so confused about it all, plus i had a pretty traumatic delivery, so that didnt help things.
I bonded with my babies while still pregnant. But the old cliche that you don't know REAL love until you hold them in your arms is so true. I was told this when I was pregnant with Joel and the moment he was born I thought he was the most beautiful little baby in the whole world. Realistically he looked like he'd been a few rounds in the boxing ring. The capilleries in his eyes were broken making it look like his eyes were full of blood, he was bruised and swollen, but he was MINE. Brandon had an easier delivery and was a prettier newborn (I can say that I'm his mum) being abit older I knew what to expect and was so protective of this little man.
Jump forward another 8 years to Noah, I so badly wanted him, especially after a threatened mc at 8 weeks, I felt like crap through my pg and ended up having a c section, he was born looking perfect, not a mark on him (the blessing of a section) but the weeks or should I say months to follow were a nightmare. I can honestly say now I didn't really enjoy him as a newborn, this baby screamed constantly and didn't sleep. I knew that I loved him but really didn't feel as close to him as I did the other boys. It had nothing to do with his sex, like some people tried to say it was the fact that he was such a hard baby. I was convinced thatafter already having 2 babies this one would be a breeze. How very wrong was I.
Hopefully after handling Noah as a baby I am ready to tackle this little one head on. I have so many different ideas in my head for this bub. Lets hope that I stick to them.....
Take care
Trish
Ashlea and I bonded the instant we saw each other. She was my little turtle (when she woke up from the first day she was born she's stretch her head out and looked like a wrinkly little turtle) I was on the biggest high after having her, i couldnt put her down. People would come to visit and i remember thinking, okay you've held her long enough, give her back to me now!
I felt bonded to my baby the minute I knew I was pregnant which was a huge thing for me, as I never wanted to be tied down to anyone or anything, or any place! I thought at age 21-22, that I never wanted kids & when my older sister had my nephew, I loved him but I can remember thinking that if someone stole him, I'd never recognise him, as I just didn't feel very clucky about him, or take much notice...
Then O/S I realised my period was non existant & figured it was from being O/S & partying really hard & not eatiung properly etc!!!! Until I did a preg test & got a +, I instantly gave up the alcohol & cigarettes & tried being healthier... I returned home a couple months later booked in to see an OB & have an Ultrasound & saw a baby, my baby on the screen & began crying, as I had not done the test til about 13-15 wks of preg! I had been partying really hard, I was now past half way in my preg & felt instant love & potection of this thing in my belly! BUt as I was alone back at Mum & Dads I used to talk to my baby all the time...
When she was born she was delivered straight into my arms & I was just in awe of her! I think what helped was I was in the hospital in a room by myself other than a lady that was there briefly, so I had her to myself & then when we got home Mum & Dad worked so it was her & I all day everyday, all my friends etc worked so it was all up to me!
I have never felt such emotion & love for anything in all of my life before like I felt & feel for my princess, she has truly taught me so much more than I could ever teach her! I now understand unconditional TRUE love!!!
Bonding is a very hard word to describe, I thought I had bonded with Matthew during pregnancy but what I felt for him then is very different to what I feel for him now.
Matthew is now 7.5 weeks old and we have BOTH bonded to each other, I`d say I didn`t really bond until 6 weeks when he started to recognise me, when I`d be given great big gummy smiles that makes your heart melt.
What I was experiencing during pregnancy and up to 6 weeks was great love for this little boy and just trying to get through the first 6 weeks was extremely difficult with lack of sleep, flus in the family and trying to get to know each other then the bonding has occured.
Take Care
Deeanne
As soon as Olivia was born I was on a total high. But I can remember a bit of a defining moment.......it was about 2 days after she was born and she woke up and squeaked and Nora Jones was playing and the sun was coming in the window and it was like a halo around Olivia and her red hair, and I can remember just balling my eyes out with happiness as I fed her...........
Nowadays, there are some times when she looks at me and just gives me a little smile and it is as if we are the only two people in the whole world.......jeez, I love her!
I bonded instantly with all three of my babies. For me the bonding began as soon as I found out I was pregnant. O:)
I bonded with my bub as soon as I saw her, I had a csection so I didn't see her properly until I was in the room with her, that's we we bonded, but it was love at first sight, with all 3 of my girls 8-)
Mary
*bump*
you know that feeling parents talk about where they would run in front of a bus to save their child? i remember feeling that way when DS was 2 months old, before that i used to feel guilty casue if i had to choose between DH or DS i would have chosen DH without a second thought. about a month ago i really fell head over heels for DS and there is no question i would choose him over anyone or anything. i think it is because his reflux is finally settling down.
Bonding with Emily took quite a few weeks. She was my first baby and we were separated for nearly two days after her birth as she was in the nursery. So basically I went down there when she had to be fed. When I brought her home she felt like a bit of a stranger for quite a while. I look back now and I don't remember feeling distressed that she was in the nursery without me...weird.
Toby was a different story altogether, the bond with him was instant. He was born by c/section so I couldn't hold him straight away (my BP dropped and I was really weak for a couple of hours) but even before I held him I remember ordering my DH and my mother to get him out of his crib and hold him because I was really upset that someone wasn't holding him....total opposite to my daughter's birth. I just felt very attached to him immediately....I think it's because he was born the day after my b'day and we're both Librans - we gotta stick together LOL.
I think i was still a bit scared of being a mum when jacob was delivered by emergancy C section.... they wrapped him up and I met him straight away but was still pretty WOWED out about the whole thing..... they wheeled me back to my room and I went to sleep and he was in the nursery.... about 1or 2ish in the morning they bought him in and she opened my gown and put him on my chest to nuzzle in.......... ooooohhhhhhhhhhhh and at that moment I met my new best friend!!!!!
It took another few weeks for me to get used to everything and then one day I had the most IMMENSE feeling of love and protectivness.... that was a very awesome feeling... I was very scared that I was going to be a terrible mother..... but I think i am doing GREAT now! :)
Yep... bonding is a hard thing to define... to me its just about what is in ones heart :)
xxoo
I'm not sure if it's because I had a caesar but I didn't feel like I could bond with my son straight away. They gave him to me a few hours after the birth and I felt really distant. Not what I was expecting at all, I felt so in love with bub during pregnancy but so unconnected after the birth. It took a while to believe that he was truely mine.
Charlie got flown to melbourne the day he was born so i never got to hold him or anything till i got to melbourne 36 hours later. I knew i loved him the minute i seen him - but the minute i held him everything hit home!
Couldn't live without him now!
Definately immediately after birth. I think because a) we'd been waiting so long for a baby and b) my labour was the best experience Ive ever had! If it had been awful then that probably would have made a big difference.
The second Maddy was placed up on my chest, I knew she would be mine forever & I loved every inch of her & she looked into my eyes & that was it, we have been best mates ever since & will be for life!
With Indah she was also delivered up onto my cest & she fed instantlky & I loved her little wrinkly , slimy body & for atleast 5 mins DH, Mum & I all stared lovingly at this pink baby on me then a nurse asked what sex the baby was & Dh lifted a leg & said we got another daughter! No matter boy or girl we were all instantly in love with her & later that night she looked at me whilst i fed her & I knew she was gonna be stubborn, but I was also so in love! OOOH cant wiat to do it again, & again! LOL...