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I would like to have another baby but in the same breath I don’t want to commit to by saying when we will start trying.
I have been asked why do I want more children? I am not sure how to answer this.
Do you need a reason why?
I am very confused why can’t I make a simply YES or NO decision and stick by it.
I already have 2 kids DD9 and DS3.
Please help me to make sense out of this.
How about the simple fact that at this stage you do not think that your family is complete... that's how I feel... tomorrow I may feel differently ;-)
I'm very much the same Mumma Lion. Some days I can't wait to TTC # 3, other days I honestly think 2 is the perfect number.
In my heart I know I'm not finished, but I'm not ready to commit to "having one right now", iykwim.
It's a huge thing, and I think its great to take your time and make sure you and your other family members are ready.
:)
I didn't feel complete after #3.
I now feel my family is complete and I'm glad I took the chance to have another. I'll never have to wonder about "what if..." as I grow older :)
Yes this is a huge thing for me too :):
I know if I don't have another, it will be something I will regret later in life.
Whereas, you'll never regret having another child ;)
i dont feel my family is complete...i have 2 fantastic boys...but two just doesnt feel complete...im not getting younger and its something i dont wanna say i regret not having another child
I want ds to have a sibling
I love the baby stage with ds and want to experience having a baby again
To make our family more interesting in the future i guess, I also want more.... than this bub....
I love babies and would love as many as I physically can... so i guess im like octomum :ROFL: a little crazy
Because I've got a list of names that are special to me and need children to give them to - that's a good enough reason... right?
Oh wow, I could have written this thread myself. I am so stuck ATM. We've already been TTCing 12months now, and the longer it goes on, the less I want it. My babies aren't babies any more, I have a bit of independence. I almost have my body back (still have 1 feed a day). But there's still that little voice in there that says 'what if?'
Maybe I should start a thread instead that asks what made you stop lol. I just cannot decide whether the pro outweigh the cons or vice versa.
Probably the incomplete feeling more than anything... Which to me is different from cluckiness.. Think I'll always cluck over new babies ;) Definitely feels like this is the last tho. Going to enjoy babyhood one more time and then enjoy the family growing up.
Kim - I was starting to feel the same the longer it took to conceive. The age gap getting wider and wider was making me feel that I would no longer be gutted if it didn't happen.. But at the same time I had to keep trying. Not sure if I would have eventually stopped.. I guess I would have reached a point where I didn't want to be tied to a baby while the other kids were growing up. Who knows.
I just didn't feel as if we were done - that we had more love to give. I also looked at my two incredible, amazing DDs running around (4 and 3 next month) and realised how amazing it would be to have more little people like that around us.
We thought for a long, long, long time before committing to TTC again. I still have moments where I wonder if we're crazy, but I believe that we will never regret having another child but that in time I could regret NOT trying for another child.
I liked having siblings and I figure my kids will too. I also love the idea of having lots of kids around me as I get old... then hopefully lots of grandchildren. :)
I know exactly how you feel though. I haven't even had this bub yet and people are already asking if I will have another. I am not decided either way... love the idea of a 4th but don't know whether I like the idea enough to actually get pregnant and do the baby thing again. I knew for sure that I wanted number 3, just knew I wasn't finished. I really hope my decision becomes clear once I am officially a mum of 3, I don't like sitting on the fence. :p
Thanks for all the replies, I know what I want to do now. I am just worried about how "Am i going to handle it all" Hubby works 70 + hours a week, I have a business at home to run, 2 children (dd goes to school) (ds stays at home with me) I feel bad if I talk about putting him in child care even if it is for only a few hours. Also have the responsability for everything at home plus I have to crazy, dogs that if they don't get walked 2 times a day they go ferral.
How does everyone else juggle things and not lose their minds.
I think I'm addicted to pregnancy, babies and kidlets... I have three and would happily keep going back for more! I watch the Duggars' (you know, that family with 20-something kids) and I think, 'yeah... I could do that!' DH is not so sure!!
Life is a juggling act, but things have a way of sorting themselves out. Figure out what your priorities are, what they need to be, and work from there.
Good luck!
I'm completely undecided, basically because I have ROTTEN pregnancies. I've spent too much of the last three years housebound and in chronic pain because of my pregnancy-induced unstable pelvis.
I've just got my life back and can now walk without being in pain and man, does that feel good.
BUT, I was one of two siblings and I always wanted another sibling to play with. Two seems like a boring number to me, too neat and tidy. I like the idea of three so that DDs don't just have "each other".
And the sheer bloodyminded part of me wants to defy the odds (at my age) and the difficulties (stupid pelvis) and just go for it.
I often wonder how I'd feel if I was younger and didn't have to make a decision so urgently.
I dont want any more children. I love my DS and DD more then anything. But I dont want any more and I'm not just saying that because DD is only 9 weeks. We are complete. It's funny how when people ask me and I reply with what I have just said, somehow that makes me less of a caring loving mother. Seriously mothers just cant win. If you dont have that definate feeling of being complete maybe you're family hasnt finished growing yet. Is there any reason you would feel anxious about birth or pregnancy. Is that what could be what is stopping you sticking to a decision?
When I had DD I felt that our family was complete. It took 5 1/2 years for me to want another one. After DS was born it did not feel the same as with DD (like me family was complete don't get me wrong I love my DS heaps he's a mummy's boy) How will another children fit in DD is with DH and DS is with me. I am not worried about the pregnacy or the birth (maybe a little about the making the baby part - DH and I don't have much adult time he works alot, and the time he does have at home the kids are with him) - but we will work something out. The main thing I am worried about is the BFing I only BF DD at night just before we went to sleep, that only lasted 5 or 6 weeks. DS everything was going well till about day 3 and he just kept crying so I gave him a bottle. I would BF him first and then if he wanted more I would give him FF. Then we had BF refusal and only would take the bottle, so I just expressed and gave that to him plus FF I did this till he was about 7 months old.
It is very hard I feel gutted that I would not do it sucessfully. Maybe I should not even try BF this time around and just FF from birth. You don't realise what you are really worried about till you get it out, I can't talk to DH about BF because he is not really for BF, he says why bother just FF so how easier.
I want more children because i have always felt that one child wont be enough for our family. I want a sibling and play mate for my DD. Seeing how wonderful she is with other kids makes me excited at the idea of giving her a sibling but i have some issues to work through before i even begin to think about that.
To me this question is a personal private one and depending on the person who asks its nobodys business, why you want more children is up to you and your DH nobody else and no one should judge you for it.
i already asking dh to have another kidlet! his family are in shock and say i should be happy with what i've got and have no more. i am happy thats why i would love a 4th. i think dh and i make beautiful kids and we are doing a fantastic job raising them. my parents have 5 and they are happy with us. i dont want to say no as i dont want this to be the last time of holding one of our own kids this little, and newborn snuggles for hours late at night, all their firsts, and i could keep going on. dh has not ruled it out :D but wants to wait a few years. oh the wait will be hard. i told him i like the whole TTC and i am a POAS addict lmao!
Geez, I couldn't have written it better if I'd tried. That's EXACTLY how I feel. I wish I'd started having babies a bit younger though, cos I'm conscious that at 38 I will be very lucky to have another bub. Still ... it's what we're currently trying for.: