First swimming lesson - traumatic!!

We had our first swimming lesson today. And it was horrible.

DD loves the water, I've been taking her swimming since she was 4 months old. She's suffering from horrible separation anxiety at the moment and we got off to a bad start in the lesson with the instructor taking her from me (to show me what to do) and dunking her under the water.

The rest of the lesson was spent screaming. She clung to me for dear life, the poor wee sausage.

And she's now asleep - and wasn't even due a nap!!!!

What the???????

Oh hun, how traumatic for you! (and your DD).

Hopefully it's just a one off... But I did find with my DS that our swimming lessons went down hill when he turned one. We started at 6 months and he loved it, but then when the separation anxiety kicked in at 12 months it became exactly as you described. After 5 or 6 lessons of him pretty much screaming through the whole thing and clinging onto me for dear life we decided to give them a break for awhile because he was developing a fear of water (completely counterproductive to the purpose of the lessons). We haven't done any lessons since last year and have gradually been getting him to enjoy the water again, so will be starting again next term (fingers crossed he likes them better now).

I also found that quite a few mums in our group had the same experience with their LO's at that age. It could just be an age thing... If it was me I'd give it a couple more goes, but if it's not enjoyable for her maybe take a break and try again when she's a bit older. HTH

Aww poor poppet - I know that in most lessons that is what they do but could you tell the teacher that you would prefer her not to take her from you from now on until she is used to the lessons? I would find it traumatic to have someone I don't know take me from my mum and dunk me under water too!! My DS is a bit the same, but he is getting used to it now and he is 2.5!

The instructor should not have done that! We have a 3 lesson policy before we submerge them and I never take a child if they dont seem comfortable. I would be making a complaint if I were you.

In my experience some swimming teachers seem to be very hard on the young ones. I refuse to push DS with swimming. Firstly I don't want him to panic when he sees water as I think that counteracts what you are trying to achieve. Secondly I want him to want to swim. Thirdly I want him to trust me and make choices for himself when he can. Although DS is older than your little one I believe that learning principals are similar (in fact across most animals!). I would take them as far as they seem to want to go. I definitely would not be pushing them to the point where they are panicking no matter what the teacher wants. The more stressful the experience the less well they will learn. The more you can make it fun and exciting while picking up their cues on how they are feeling, the faster they will progress. :hug:

I took DD for her first swimming lessons at 6months. They took her away for a spin around the pool and to duck under the water. She hated. Every kid did the first few lessons. Stick with it, it does get better. They have to get used to you not being in the water for the older classes anyway so I think it is great. They then learn to swim under the water to you and grab your shirt which is a great life saving technique.

I think DD cried for about 3 weeks, then only cried when she was taken away from me, then only cried when the normal instructor was away and it was someone else lol.

It does get better - the swim schools know what they are doing, so stick with it and good on your for starting the lessons so early! It's a life skill everyone needs imo

We only started proper lessons recently too and Nate was very similar. It's taken a few weeks, but he seems much happier now. I hated the forced wetting of the head even if they aren't ready, as I wouldn't force my children to do anything else to make them used to something, so it really grated with me, but practising in the bath has helped (even though he will happily put his own head under the shower or jump in the water)...it was the cues that made him scream.

I started swim lessons with my DD at 6 months and the instructor did the same thing - took her off me and dunked her - and my DD was so unhappy and cried the whole lesson. After that every lesson was a nightmare because the instructor was always trying to force my DD to do things, which just made her cling to me ever more and cry. I tried talking to him about the fact that my DD wasn't ready for dunking and being apart from me and he told me that she just had to get used to it and that she'd be afraid forever of the water if she didn't get used to it at that age.

After that I stopped swim lessons but then decided to try another swim school when my DD was 18 months and it is so much better!! The first lesson my DD was afraid to get in the water but at the end of her first lesson she didn't want to get out of the pool! The instructors don't dunk kids or take kids off parents. The whole lesson is centred around having fun in the water and learning skills along the way. She loves the lessons and so do I. It's much more relaxed and fun. As it should be at this age I reckon!

If you are in Melbourne I can highly recommend them to you.

Gosh Ds has been swimming all term and only just gone under in the last two weeks! It's not on to do that in the first lesson when it's a new environment and person to get used to. Ds screamed the second half of his first lesson we had to pull him out but he loves them now.

Poor baby and poor you, it really does depend on the instructor and swim school. My DD's swim school says only to dunk "if they give you the cue", which they learn in time. Otherwise you only get their "chin" wet.

the others girls have great advice I just wanted to say I use to love swimming days because of the great day nap DS would take! Oh the bliss, he would sleep in the car on the way home and then easily for another 2 hours. Oh how I miss swimming days.

Thanks girls, I am going to ring them today and cancel our lessons. It seems that this isn't the norm and there are other better places that we can go to. DH is furious about it too. I don't want DD to be frightened.

I've paid for the first month up front so I hope that we get a refund. DD is a clingy little thing just now, I don't want some stupid swim instructor making that worse for us.

Thanks again
Sue x

OMG Sue, i can't believe they took poor little Evie off you and dunked her under on her very first day of swimming lesson's - that's not on at all.

I really hope it hasn't caused Evie to now have a fear of the water ;( Goodluck speaking to the swim school today and i hope you get a full refund too. (If it was from our local swimming pool, i hate to say it but i doubt they will refund you - i used to take the boys there but had a horrible instance with C at the time so cancelled, got no refund was just a case of too bad, someone missed out on that spot because you took it kind of attitude)

Big hugs to you both xx

Where are you based Mumma Sue? I am sure one of us can recommend a good place. They should let you have a trial too before you pay for the term.

Gah, don't go back

Westy, it IS our local one and I've just rang them and the woman has told me to basically suck it up and that it takes 4 weeks for them to settle into a swim class. Ugh. I'm so annoyed right now.

I'm in the Western Suburbs of Brisbane BTW :)

Thats crap. Sure it is a new experience & most kids probably do take that few weeks to settle in. BUT She took your DD & dunked her in with out letting her be comfy first. No way is DD going to go along next time & think, "OH I remember this, it was great fun"
I would post pone the lessons for a few months & just keep up with your own water play together.
You need to reintroduce her slowly at her own pace.

IMO professional Swimming lessons so young have no real benefit. You can build water confidence & safety through your own common sense & you can do it at a pace that suits both you & your child that way.

I can't believe they took DD off of you and just dunked her in her first lesson. WT??? I wouldn't go back either.

Our swim centre actually tells us NOT to put them under in their first lesson because all they'll remember is the trauma and it makes it harder to settle in. And the instructor never takes a child from their parent. DD's first lesson was her first time in a pool and she clung to me the whole time. The instructor went with it and we did the activities she felt comfortable with. By the end of the lesson she was quite happy to be in the water and I was satisfied with that for a first lesson. The instructor uses a doll to show us what to do and also tells us to watch other parents to see how to do it.

Actually, I'm really peeved on your behalf. It ****s me no end that its so accepted to treat babies as if they aren't people. Why are they any less deserving of our respect? If the instructor did that to an older child or another adult, it would be assault.

I hope your DD feels better after her nap. She must be exhausted.

I would be demanding to speak to the Centre Mgr. How dare they take the baby from you and dunk her that is SO bad - forcing little ones to do something and expect them just to get use to it.

If you have no luck then get Hubby to ring them I often find that dealing with a dad is far more intimidating. If they tell you to suck it up again I would say something about getting in contact with the local paper as they love stories like this ....... nothing like bad publicity for a business.

Mann I would be so livid I would be spitting vemon down the phone line :rofl:

BOL
Nae x

I rang DH and his simple no BS response was "F**k the money, you're not taking her back, no way, we'll do it ourselves".

I feel horrible for her being put through that when it doesn't seem to be the norm. Poor wee sausage. I'm going to take her swimming on Monday - just the two of us, to make sure she's not completely traumatised. I hope this hasn't done any damage. DD is very sensitive and aware of her surroundings so fingers crossed she'll be ok - she loves swimming with me!

Thanks x

I found with DD that just by playing in the shallows of the toddler pool where she could sit was enough. Sing little songs like "wash your dirty hair, wash your dirty hair, rub and scrub and rub and scrub, wash your dirty hair" while flicking little bits of water onto her head from the top.

we sing ring a rosie and at the end I count 1 2 3 and make a big puffy face for DD and quickly dunk her but it has taken a while to get to that point.

We also sing humpty dumpty on the edge of the pool and I encourage her to jump in, not go under at first but its a trust thing. We also swim in the deep end of the toddler pool I hang on to her under the arms and go SWISSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH SWISSHHHHHHH and move her around, I try to make it as silly and as fun as I can.

Maybe start just bobbing in the water making a silly sound like bop bop bop and you bob along??

Just enjoy yourself don't be nervous or anxious as she will pick up on that and become more clingy.

Nae x x x

DD has almost finished her first term of lessons and we are yet to dunk or even put face in the water. She is nearly 8.5 mths. I know some swim schools do just dunk them in, first class, but I'm not comfy with that idea either.

In our class we are teaching them the cues for going under the water, so you say "DD, are you ready? 1, 2, 3!" and on the "3" you do things like pour water over their head/face, or if you are 'swimming' them along on their tummy you dip them down towards the water to chin depth and up again. So basically they get used to the cues and on the "3" they should start to close their eyes (and hopefully mouth!) in anticipation. You can also do this in the bath, and the washing hair thing is a good idea too. And lots of nursery rhymes/singing as Nae suggested :)

i had a similar experience when i tried to take dd to toddler gym. the lady grabbed dd without telling her what was going on....flipped her into t forward roll...something she had never done before and she screamed and begged to leave. she was about 18 months old. we never went back. we do our own games like they do in toddler gym and she loves it but its all about trust.

i would take her swimming on your own again before you go to another class, remind her its fun before she is in the class situation again. and maybe try a dif place

Honestly MummaSue, lessons conducted by properly qualified instructors are a very good investment, please dont let this one bad school taint your idea of lessons and instructors!! Teaching your own kid to do things only works to a point, and its not about knowing or not knowing the drills to do (although I had to do extensive training to be qualified to teach) but more that once your child is settled in with a teacher they love, that teacher will push their capabilities further than a parent would. Im a pretty strict parent on my kids, I have never pussyfooted when it comes to getting my kids to do things, but they STILL do it better for their swim instructors than they do me and I DO have the training to teach them properly.

That said, PLEASE call the school back, ask for the manager or even owner (if its owner managed) and tell them if they dont refund your money because of your justified complain about their shoddy service you will call fair trading and report them. If they still have that disgusting attitude and refuse to help, A) tell them you'll be ensuring you tell everyone you know that they should NOT utilise their services, and B) actually call fair trading and report them. You can also try calling Swim Australia (if they are a reputable qualified swim school they will be registered with Swim Australia) or ASCTA (Australian Swimming Coaches and Teachers Association) and ask them what you can do to make a complain to them about their clear disregard for childrens wellbeing.

All swim schools and teachers should be registered with Swim Australia and ASCTA. If they arent, walk away and find a service that is. If they are registered with them their training is undetaken by them, I had to do 30hrs training in the pool with a qualified instructor PLUS the SAT course PLUS a specific Aquababies training course. It has to be renewed every four years because obviously things can change the way we teach kids. My work actually keeps up with the latest research in swim teaching and adjusts it accordingly as needed. We have quarterly staff training and always have staff meetings before shift to get reminders about what we can and cant do as well as any other complaints or issues that have cropped up from parents or the bosses.

ETA - most swim schools Ive been to have a first lesson or two free policy so your not locked in incase the swim school does not suit your needs. I think its disgusting they charged you a full term, did not give you a free intro lesson and are now being horrible about your justified complaint. Shame on them.

Yeah, we sacked swimming lesson for exactly the same reason. Our DS is a water freak and lessons had him clinging to us screaming.

We come from a long line of water freaks, both DH and myself grew up in the pool, spent our summers on the beach and surfed.

We found our biggest issue with DS in the pool when we took him by ourselves was that his desire to be independant was causing him huge frustration. We caved and did something I really didnt want to do and bought him floaties.
This summer just gone, we spent most afternoons at the pool, DS (just turned 2) willingly jumps in the deep end, head under and all, can crawl on his tummy out of the pool, can jump in, head under and turn around to find the edge no worries, floats on his back, has me or hubby throw him in the air and dunk him ect.
Admittedly, he wears floaties the entire time, BUT,now we have a confident kid, who loves the water and TBH, without floatation devices, kids this young really struggle to be independant in water over their heads.
I would be more worried about having a child who is scared of water than going to formal lessons, especially if you or your hubby are happy to get in with them and play with them.
GL

We started DD at 4 months (we live near the beach and have a pool so wanted to start asap) and she hated it. She screamed for about 85% in the first lesson and it was only by lesson 4 that she was going okay. Thankfully DH took her because I don't think I could have coped. Anyway, he used to just get out of the pool and sit on the side and watch the other kids with her if she really chucked a spack. Anyway it all went fine until recently when she doesn't want to leave him again. It's seperation anxiety, I am 100% sure so he doesn't make her, he just gets the instructor to tell him what to do every second time or demonstrate with another child. So one time she goes to the instructor and one time she stays with DH. Apparently she is coping but not overly happy but recovers well so we're perservering.

FWIW - my DD was put under water in her first lesson too?

Just a note on floaties.

Im always in two minds about them, mostly because when we take our kids to the pool or beach there is always one kid more than the two of us (Dh and I) and for peace of mind I would rather they wear them (esp Ds2 being autistic he doesnt understand risks and consequences). My supervisors at work really hate floaties, they encourage us to encourage parents NOT to use them because they give kids a false sense of security and interferes with them learning to swim/float. And they honestly do.

BUT safety is also important. So we have our boys wear swim VESTS. Definately do not use arm floaties, gosh they are a nightmare (and I can always tell when I get a new kid who obviously thinks they can swim because they wear arm floaties!). It really worries me when I get new kids who tell me "Oh I can swim all by myself, my mum/dad/nanna/whoever says Im a great swimmer!" and I say "Ok then, show me your awesome swimming".............................and then the kid sinks to the bottom. Because they can swim WITH floaties. Its false security and mindsets like that that make them think they dont NEED to be safe around water because they can swim. We all know thats bullpoopy, even people who can swim can get into trouble (but it definately greatly lessens the risk of drowning).

So if your keen on a floatation device get a vest not arm floaties. And always spend equal time in AND out of the vest. We swim our 4 and 3yo's in the vest for 10min then the rest of the time out of it because they can swim well enough to get to the side of the pool safely and keep afloat. Our 2yo gets the vest for more time because he cannot swim well as yet but we do try to take him out of it towards the end and I run through his drills (and he jumps in and out of the pool lol).

Also another great idea for kids over 18mths who cant really swim is for them to use a noodle. We use them as part of our drills at work, the kids aged between 2-7 that cannot swim for extended periods on their own use them to practice kicking, paddle arms and bubbles. You sit their arms over the noodle so they can freely move them and get them to kick their legs, paddle their arms and blow bubbles. They get freedom of movement but they are supported in the water. Obviously you should never leave them unsupervised to do this because they can fall off but that goes without saying ;)

All kids scream esp if they are new to water/lessons. Even my youngest did (and still does sometimes). Alot of kids can be fine until they hit around 18mths then their stubborness kicks in and they decide they call the shots, so the screaming and fighting starts all over again. The key is consistency. Keep going, eventually they will settle (again). Most babies hate being on their back. But floating is an essential safety skill to learn. It can be the difference between life and death in a drowning indicent. Better a screaming kid on top of the pool during lessons than a not screaming kid on the bottom of a pool.

So keep going?

It just feels like controlled crying but in the swimming pool to me :o She needs lessons as neither my DH or I are very good swimmers - coming from Scotland it was never pushed on us to be good swimmers, oh how I wish it had been.

AAHHH. I don't know what to do for the best now. Maybe postpone the lessons for a month or so and take her myself for a bit? Practicing the things we did yesterday?

DONT take her back to that place. Please dont.

Do some research and find a well recommended swim school. Ask them if you could come and watch a lesson, even have one free lesson to see what they are like. Most decent schools will NOT have a problem with it at all. Only stay with a school your all comfortable with, but its definitely beneficial to keep taking her. Yes that lesson was traumatic, but they will be whether she goes now or in a years time when she is older. All kids new to lessons get upset and cry. Its completely normal. My 2yo did it today and he has been swimming since he was 6mths old. He was in a seahorse lesson with his brothers, he knew the teacher (she takes him for aquababies), everything was familiar to him yet he still cried and called out for me because for once I wasnt with him. Except for when I left to go pay at reception then he was fine lol I know its hard to listen to them cry about it but they honestly do stop after awhile and as long as its not "some stranger is shoving me under the water and I cant see my mum HELP!" screaming then its not going to harm them. Give her a couple of weeks, most certainly do some water play on your own with her, then find somewhere fabulous to take her back to.

Some drowning stats for those interested!

The 2010 Royal Life Saving Drowning Report says that 314 people drowned in a year (june09-july10), mostly in pools or rivers/lakes. Thats a 12% increase from 5 years ago. 56 children (0-17yo) drowned, and of those half were under 5yo. For every child that drowns, 3 children end up in hospital from near drowning related injuries.

I think take her somewhere else for all of these reasons plus the fact that when you called you were pretty much told to suck it up! Our swim school does seem quite harsh compared to some others but they will only do what DH says is okay for our DD and they are very respectful about it. Once DD got used to the water, she loved it and often now will go to the bath and try and climb in at any time of day hoping we fill it to "pool" level and let her in to splash around and practice her kicking legs. It's tooo cute. So I recommend perservering but at a school you have confidence in and are happy to go to. Your LO might not love swimming and I totally get the whole feeling like it is CC but in the pool but unfortunately she's going to have to get used to it. Maybe try what we did and get her out and sit on the side if she really becomes distressed. We agreed that being in the water and being comfortable with that was the most important thing in the early days and the teacher was really good about waving to her from the sides and smiling at her and keeping her involved in the lesson despite the fact DD was just hanging around on the edge.

Good Luck!!

Oh Sue, i had a feeling you would be back in saying that they didn't give you a refund - it sucks and i for one have never been back and quite frankly i dont plan on going back either.....well not ever for swimming lessons anyway,maybe just for a casual swim with the kids but that would be it. They aren't even fully qualified swimming instructors there either (well they never used to be, that might have changed now - i'd like to think it has)

Sorry you and Evie had such a horrible experience on the very first day, might be a good idea though if you do take her back to a pool for a little swim (not to that place though) just to be sure she is still ok with water etc.

I just wanted to return to this thread and let you all know that I took DD to another swim school to try swimming lessons again. She was so upset by our ordeal from the first time that it's taken me this long to take her again.

The new school are wonderful. The teacher is very gentle and just lovely. She cried a little for a few minutes at the start of the first lesson last week but really got into it and put her head in the water herself at the end of the lesson.

We had her second lesson this morning and she was so excited to be in the water, it was amazing! She even let the swim teacher take her for a bit and swam with her. SUCH an improvement on the first school we went to.

RESULT!!
Thanks all.

I just wanted to return to this thread and let you all know that I took DD to another swim school to try swimming lessons again. She was so upset by our ordeal from the first time that it's taken me this long to take her again.

The new school are wonderful. The teacher is very gentle and just lovely. She cried a little for a few minutes at the start of the first lesson last week but really got into it and put her head in the water herself at the end of the lesson.

We had her second lesson this morning and she was so excited to be in the water, it was amazing! She even let the swim teacher take her for a bit and swam with her. SUCH an improvement on the first school we went to.

RESULT!!
Thanks all.

Yay! that's what you want in classes for little ones.

That is awesome!