TV and children

Okay I know i might be opening a can of worms here but I am interested in hearing other Mothers opinions on TV and babies/toddlers. My DS is 19 months old and to date hasn't watched very much TV not because of any deliberate decision by us because I think its wrong etc etc but it just never really happened. Over the last few weeks I have started to introduce some TV mainly so that I have some means distracting him and getting bits and pieces done if I need to and I also like the idea of him having something whether it be Wiggles, Yo Gabba Gabba, Hoot, whatever that he is interested in that has a little show that I can take him to. So far he's not been that interested though he will kinda hang round for the opening song - have a little dance and then he's off doing something else. I'm cool with that but I keep showing him bits and pieces and see what happens.

Now reason for my post. We have just been away for long weekend with one of my friends who has a DS too - he's just turned 1. Her comment to me before we went away was that her DS would show my DS how to watch TV! I laughed but didn't realise just how serious she actually was! I knew that she fed her DS in front of the TV - okay whatever works to get food into them I totally get that - but ............... seriously this weekend the TV was on literally 24/7. The minute they came into the living room on went the TV and on it stayed and literally didn't go off until . For the majority of the time the curtains also had to be closed so that the sunlight wouldn't shine on the TV.

For me, and I am not trying not to be judgemental here as ever parent to their own, but this appeared to be wrong and potentially harmful to the child? We were out of Sydney so wasn't as though weather was crap and you couldn't go outside - yes it was cooler but thats what coats and hats are for!

Am I wrong to be shocked - what do you think - and should I say something if it is harmful for her DS ??? (though I don't know if I am brave enough to try that).

Nope.don't say anything. It is her parenting choice. I believe a little tv is fine, as long as it is not all they are doing in a day. Although saying that, it was on all day here today as DD is sick and the Wiggles was all that would make her happy!

Ultimately I think if it's her choice to parent that way, then it's her choice regardless of how you, I or anyone else feels.
My DS1 wasn't interested in telly until he was probably 25 months or so. And now if I let him, he'd watch ABC2 all day. In fact, he's a bit addicted to Play School. My 16month old is like your son, likes a little dance to the music and that's it. I do use the tv to give me some "mummy time", so depending on what's happening, sometimes the TV will be on for several hours. Some days, it's only on for Play School. I dunno, I think everything in moderation. But that's just my opinion.

So to answer your question, I can understand why you may be shocked but I'm not sure it's your place to comment on her parenting approach.

When I had my 1st baby I was determined that he would never watch tv. He never did until I had my 2nd and I discovered that I could have a shower in peace while Hi5 was on!

I think it's good in moderation. Some of the shows on ABC in the mornings are fantastic for learning to count, abc's etc. As long as they're not dependant on it, I don't see an issue.

Our TV is turned on 24/7 as well, but not always on kids' shows/channels. My two are such busy little bees that they barely ever sit down and watch the TV at all, I think having it constantly on for background noise their whole lives has helped with taking away the novelty of it - they barely seem to notice that it's even there unless it's turned off lol ;)
I personally don't think it's the TV itself (as in, the watching of it) that's harmful, it's either the content of the programs (I mean, you're not really going to sit toddlers in front of an MA15+ rated movie, right?), or that the TV is not the cause of a problem, but a symptom. I guess what I'm trying to say is that watching 'lots' (and that's a very subjective term) of TV is harming your kids, it's because there's something else that they're lacking, kwim? My kids watch 'lots' of TV by a lot of people's standards but they also keep their minds and bodies engaged with colouring books, toys, outdoor play, social interaction with other grown-ups and children, I spend lots of my day talking to them and interacting with them so I don't think the few hours of TV they get every day (told you it was a lot! But really, they'll sit for about 10 minutes if their favourite show catches their attention, then buzz off and play in their rooms and come back later to watch a bit more itms) will 'harm' them because they have so much else going on as well, itms? The TV isn't raising them, DH and I are and I think we do a pretty decent job of it 99% of the time :)
I have actually found that TV for my kids can serve a couple of different purposes. Some shows they will watch because I need 20 minutes to myself (to shower or make a phone call or something) or to help them wind down in the evenings (I'm told TV overstimulates but it seems to have the opposite effect on my girls, they're regular couch potatoes after dinner and a bath and will watch the news or something with DH to 'zone out' and quiet themselves down), and then other times we will watch 'educational' stuff that we then go away and talk about or act upon afterwards (like learning to count and then we'll go count cans in the pantry or flowers on the shrubs outside with their new skills).

I think TV has its pros and cons, like anything, and it's up to individual parents/families to make the best decisions about what's 'good' viewing for their kids, or how much is 'too much'. :)

I wouldnt say anything every parent to themselves, if thats how she wants to parent then i dont think its your place to say something i dont see anything wrong with the child watching tv as long as its age appropriate and educational my son is now nearly three and he can count to 20, say his alphabet and read and talk very well from his age and he learn alot of that from watching wiggles,dora,ABC, Playschool etc Yes he watchs tv but he also plays indoors and outdoors as well i dont see the issue really either. In the end you have your choice she has hers. Again Each to there own.

I agree that it's each to their own. DD would've been around 2 when she started actually paying attention to TV shows rather than just having a little dance, watching a few seconds then nicking off to do something else. And even then it was only particular shows, mostly Hi-5, she hated Playschool and the Wiggles. But it never really was a big thing until she got hooked on Disney movies at about 4 or 5.

She mainly uses it to wind down before bed, and has a preference for quirky movies like Lemony Snicketts Series of Unfortunate Events or Corpse Bride these days (she's 9) and absolutely loves animal shows - we have just about the entire David Attenborough collection plus she likes Bondi Vet, RSPCA and that type of thing. Which I'm completely fine with and will often sit and watch with her. Heck even blood and guts doesn't bother her but she does get a little sad if an animal dies on the show.

So long as it's age appropriate and they still have all the other necessary interaction (outdoor play, social interaction etc) it's not really a bad thing. I don't think eating the main meal of the day in front of the TV is a good thing though - for us that's our chance to sit and talk about our day, teach DD proper table manners etc.

After a lot of delibation - TV is fine as one of your parenting tools. It lets you get some housework done (or even school work!). It can teach different concepts, or old concepts in a new way. It can cause a lot of laughter. Even as a baby, DS could stay up late for Dr Who, so there's family bonding going on (either that or I just love my Dr Who too much!). DS even has an exercise DVD that we do together, and our film nights are very much enjoyed by both of us.

I don't usually have TV all day (unless one of us is ill). We do other things too, outdoors and indoors. TV can go off. IMO, computer games are worse. But maybe because my 4yo DS likes them too much! What started off as an airport distraction (and restaurant distraction whilst waiting for food) is quickly demanded every day.

I wonder if her son has an ASD and she has just learnt to parent him this way because that's what works. I'd say the curtains closed and eating in front of the TV etc have been child led that she has gone with to get through the day.

My son became addicted to TV beyond what was "normal" for other children so we started curbing it. It's still a challenge and I let him watch too many clips sometimes just to have some peace. I worried I must have done something wrong at first then I realised it wasn't me, it was him IYKWIM.

DD didnt watch tv till she was about 20 months and i started doing a few shifts at work to help a friend and DH was looking after her, he put the tv on so he could clean the house, best intentions and all. and now she watches ABC1 for kids in the mornings, but only like certain shows so will turn it on and off, probably watches an hours worth all up, or less if she forgets to put it back on after thomas the tank engine...which she does quite often. then she watched playschool and octonaugts in the arvo,her two favorite shows. we normally only watch them if we arnt doing anything else thats fun/interesting, like if im breastfeeding and shes bored etc. we have a few dvds, bob the builder and playschool, mainly got them for the last few weeks of my pregnancy when i was so tired and needed a rest, but she still watched playschool and now knows SO much about dinosaurs :) we limit it but im sure we watch more than alot.

its a personal choice, and im sure her son will be ok, i wouldnt say anything, but i do belive its not good for them to watch it all the time, i certainly wouldnt let dd watch more than a few hours a day. but saying that, when DH is home the tv is normally on all the time, even if noone is watching, i think he just likes to have noise on, where i quite like quiet in the day. aslong as they do other things in the day, i think its a good tool to use to have five minutes peace or cook dinner etc.

TV tends to be one most of the day here. Mostly is it just in the background. The girls will watch what they feel like watching, or go off and play. We did go through a stage where DD1 would carry on if it was turned off even if she was playing in the other room.

As a parent I like that they are able to walk away from it. Yes, sometimes we often turn it off so they will do something we ask of them, like cleaning up their toys, so it can be useful like that. I honestly do prefer it to have a child that becomes a zombie the moment a TV is on. I know some families where TV is very restricted and those children will just stop and stare if they see one on. Very frustrating when they come for a visit and the parent asks me to turn the TV off, otherwise their child will not move. I don't care what goes on in their home, I would never go there and ask them to turn their TV on, so I don't like to be told to turn mine off.

DS 'watches' tele, about as much as a 10month old can pay attention. It's pretty much theme songs, and the occasional look at the tv (unless it's giggle and hoot for which he will drop everything!) but he is too busy playing with his toys or climbing over me to be sitting still for long periods of time.
Like others have said, in moderation things are fine. Just make sure that your little one isn't spending all their waking hours in front of the tv and not engaging in any other play and they will be fine.

I personally have a rule though of tv off at meal times

Our tv is on most of the day but my kids do not watch it all day they come and go from it depending on what is on. Both have shows they love and will sit quietly to watch (unfortunately not always same as each other) but if it allows me to have a shower in peace I dont mind. Both are active kids and play inside and out and interact well
With others.

Like others have said as long as kids not watching it all day everyday I dont see a problem, the kids who stare at tv and dont move unless tv off have a problem.

First, I think it's up to parents to make these decision for their own kids.
For my kids, I don't want them watching much TV, and definitely not under the age of 2 as I understand it can affect brain development detrimentally. However, DS did watch it under 2, though only very little, as I have found it a very useful way of getting things done. So compromise. Since I was pregnant with DD and even more so since she was born, DS has been watching more. He informed me recently that TV was his most favourite thing in the whole world :redface:
I dont' like having tv on all the time and we restrict our own viewing as well. I'd like to say that I do constructive things instead, but I'm not sure that BB etc really counts :redface:
So I have certain ideals and then there's the reality :D

I wouldn't say anything to her. She has the right to have the tv on all day without people judging her, just as you have the right to have yours off without people judging you. My tv is on all day from 7am to 11pm unless we have music on. I grew up with 8 sibling, always noisey, something always going. Now I can't stand it too quite, it makes me jumpy and uncomfortable so i have the tv on for background noise. My kids don't just sit there all day watching it, they play and they play well. If someone told me I shouldn't have the tv on, I wouldn't have them back in my house cause I wouldn't want someone coming over if they are going to question my choices. I'm not saying my choice is right but its my choice. If you say something to her just beware that she may not react to well. I hope I haven't sounded to catty but just giving you a different point of view.

DS barely saw any TV before he was 1 and it was limited between 1 and 2 and is still limited (by other people's standards) now. That was both a conscious decision (due to the research that too much TV watching before 2 can alter brain development and affect later concentration at school) but it's also how DP and I live. We are not big TV watchers and it usually doesn't go on until after dinner time and then it's 99% of the time me watching. Now DS watches TV most days but he can still go days without seeing it. It is not on all day. He is in the middle of a Shaun the Sheep obsession actually and often asks for it. He has only really been 'asking' since he turned two a couple of months ago.

I completely agree with the PP about every parent having the right to make choices without judgement from others but I wanted to share what I would do in this situation as it hasn't been mentioned already. I am assuming you are pretty good friends with this friend. And she has brought up the fact that her son "knows" how to watch TV. My interpretation of this is that on some level she knows her son watches more TV than most other kids his age. I would actually be quite curious about how this came about, whether it was her decision/influence or his preference. So rather than bringing up the subject with a view to be judgemental or point out the possible negative consequences, I would be genuinely curious about her son's TV watching, how she felt about it etc. If it came up again in discussion (and I wouldn't necessarily bring it up myself), I would be interested and onlyif she expressed any concerns herself would I get into it with her. So I would only be giving my own opinion or talk about my reasons for doing it differently if she expressed interest or showed she was worried about her choices. If she didn't show any concern, I would just listen to her reasons, try to understand her point of view and move on. I am someone who finds the motivations for others behaviour quite interesting though and I find it quite easy to listen without judging.

Thanks ladies for all the responses. Certainly hadn't wanted to sound judgemental as I totally believe that everyone should raise their children in the way that they see fit. Like everything to do with our children what will work for one doesn't necessarily work for another. I was interested in finding out how other mothers viewed children watching TV.

I guess over the weekend I was just a little shocked as to the amount that the TV was on and was a bit concerned as to whether it could be harmful or not given that like a few of you have mentioned it is not recommended when children are young. He has only just turned one so I guess as he gets older he will get more interested in doing other things too. Kaz to answer your question I understand the watching of TV originally came about as it was a way to be able to get him to eat his meals and then just expanded from there.

Oops double post

I remember hearing recently that NO tv viewing is recommended to children under two.

AFU - DS became obsessed with the Wiggles when I took him to their live concert at age 20 months, prior to that, he just wasn't interested in TV at all (not that I minded). These days he'll ask to watch the Wiggles a few times a day, and seems to love ITNG too. We only turn it on to watch specific things, otherwise I make an effort to turn it off so that he doesn't get distracted from active play by the TV.

However, I do work from home 1 day per week, DS gets to watch more TV on this day, just cos it works for both of us, I can get a decent amount of work done so my boss is happy for me to continue this arrangement, and DS gets to watch a little extra TV. However I balance this with setting up tents full of mega blocks, or roadways full of matchbox cars or his art kit out, I think as parents we just need to mix up the activities a bit.

I have been guilty of chucking the Wiggles on to give me 20 mins to throw dinner together or get some chores done, and I do let DS sit in front of it at lunch time if we are home, however dinner is always at the table with Mum and Dad, no ifs or butts.

I think everythings ok in moderation and if balanced with other activities

But as for telling your friend, it really is her choice