Contraception - do you bother? (for LTTTCers)

Hi girls,

For those of you who have completed their families or who are in between babies, do you use contraception? Or is the thought of a 'miracle/surprise' bub ok for you and you would be happy if you had a natural pregnancy?

I ask because my DS2 is now 16 months. I always wanted more than 2 kids, but i also didn't think i'd be having babies in my mid-30's. DH and I both have fertility issues, but we aren't completely infertile (i.e. there could be one in a gazillion chance that a sperm and an egg might just do what nature intended).

I'm not sure what to do contraception-wise. I loathe the OCP and it does awful things to me. I don't think we are ready for DH to have a vasectomy.

Any stories/advice welcome. I want to know what everyone else is thinking or doing.

Hi Lenny,

After DD was born I went on the contraceptive pill for a few months (maybe 4?) then stopped. Up until DD turned 1, we were 'careful' not to fall pg but after then we have been TTC # 2 ever since and haven't been using contraceptive. I guess atm we are considered as not trying/not preventing b/c we are waiting to start IVF in a couple of months. If we are fortunate enough to fall pg without AC I'd be very surprised/shocked since I haven't been able to fall pg since last year in July and that is doing Clomid and IUI. Our infertility is classed as 'secondary' infertility.

I guess you need to weigh up if you were to have a 'surprise' whether that would be an issue & if not then I wouldn't bother with contraception until the time you know for sure that you don't want to add anymore children to your family.

I think we're so infertile that natural conception is absolutely, completely impossible. But I'm still on the pill.

So many reasons for it - scary arthritis meds where pregnancy is strongly advised against, and termination is recommended if you do fall pregnant. The fact that my PCOS is so wonky that I have absolutely no cycle what so ever, so having the control and knowledge of AF's arrival really does make life easier.

That said... if you take my health issues out of the equation, I likely wouldn't bother. Then again, I suspect that the thoughts of "am I pregnant?" coupled with no idea of when AF *should* arrive would likely do my head in!

When I was having issues with the pill, it was suggested that I try the mirena IUD, would something like that be more appealing than the OCP?

BW

We have been given a 1 in about 5 million chance of becoming pregnant naturally, I haven't been on any contraception since I was 19.

We TTC #1 for 5 years and were given a 1% chance of conceiving naturally. We did twice. Going back on the pill was not an option for me, however we do use contraceptives. I had an awful pregnancy and am terrified to have another. Had I been well during pregnancy I dont think we would be as 'careful' as we are now.

Lenny luv you have to ask yourself the question, If I fell pregnant how would I feel.

For me the answer would be OMG this is the worst thing that could happen. So the answer to my question is no matter the likelyhood that it is impossible we still use contraception every time. For me the OCP is not an option so it is condoms all the way.

DH is going to get the snip, but has been a little busy to fit it in at the moment.

So think about your answer to the question and take the contraception issue from there.

Although I'm still pregnant, I guess I can speak for later. We TTC'ed for two years and had a 3% chance of conceiving naturally. We had a few miscarriages, so we did conceive, but due to DF's sperm condition none of those pregnancies ever had a chance of taking. So yes, we will use contraception, something non hormone based, tbh it will probably just be condoms as I don't want to hormonally mess with my already fragile reproductive system. Although there is a small chance we may fall, there is a large chance the pregnancy will not be viable and I can't go through that again.

We don't bother, but we would still like more. I wouldn't like to have a small age gap, but breastfeeding seems to be a fairly effective contraceptive anyway, so I'm not worrying out it. And a natural pregnancy would be awesome.

We don't bother, we want more children anyway (I had a really easy pregnancy and we have no health concerns, it's just the getting pregnant that's the problem) so a natural pregnancy would be a very welcome surprise, not to mention an added boost to our finances!

Given there is no chance we will fall pregnant naturally, no I don't bother with contraception. And, ridiculously, my cycle is better than it has ever been (although AF is heavier). Ironic huh?

We don't bother. My tubes are so blocked that they might as well not be there. The chances of anything happening are very slim.

We're not sure we'll be having any more, but if it happened naturally and I was one of "those women" (haha, you know the ones we hear about falling pregnant after IVF) then we'd be quite happy :)

Thanks everyone for your contributions and ideas.

We both aren't sure where we stand on more kids. I think we both would feel incredibly lucky and happy if we got a surprise baby.

I might go to the doc and discuss options that aren't OCP.

Lenny could you try natural fertility management? You know, like charting and stuff so that you don't conceive? I mean, I know it isn't fool proof but it might be better than horrible OCP or whatever other things the Dr might offer you? And again, if a natural pregnancy happened, then it's meant to be? I think that this is the way that we'll go with things when (and IF) I ever get my period back (no sign of AF yet!!)

Just a thought. :)

Once I get these 2 little buns out we know that we don't want any more babies - I'm just way too old to go there again. I was planning on having my tubes tied at my c/s, but can't have it done due to having the babies in a Catholic Hospital, so we have decided that once the boys are around 6 months old then DH will be getting the snip.

Our chances of falling pregnant naturally are so minimal - it took us 5 years to get DD - that it probably would never happen, but that 1 in a gazillion chance of it happening is just too scary for us to even consider.

We are in a similar position. Sub fertility. My fertility isn't very good, I only have 1 bad tube (the other is removed) The biggest risk for us is the risk of another ectopic pregnancy. So its condoms whilst we decide for sure. I'm like PZ I don't want the OCP to mess with my already fragile reproductive system. (The pill causes reduced tube movement which increases your risk of ectopic in the event you do get pregnant whilst taking it) Having a 5week old fully BF bub although it would be almost impossible its a risk we can't take just yet.

I have endo and tried for more than three years to fall pg. We where successful on our third Ivf attempt and had our beautiful twins. I laughed at the midwives in the hospital when they asked about contraception! Six months later I fell pg with ds3! What a shock! So after him I had an iud put in. We decided to use our last embryo September last year so I had the iud removed. The transfer was unsuccessful and after a couple of months of unprotected sex I decided to go back on the pill. I was waiting for my period to arrive and decided to use my last hpt just for old times sake. Low and behold BFP! I cried for about twenty minutes and am still wondering how I am going to do it with 4 under 4! Needless to say when the midwives discuss contraception this time I will be taking my options very seriously!!

Oh my goodness zap. You're pg! Wow. Congratulations!
The thought of an IUD scares me (just my own personal thing) and charting sounds WAY to difficult mummasue! So it looks like i'll be giving the mini-pill a try.

Kelly - you aren't old my dear, you're just pg with twins, which must be very exhausting :hug:

After this bub I will be getting a diaphragm fitted. I refuse to go on any hormonal contraceptives ever again, I don't need the extra screwing up of my hormones, and condoms just aren't as fun :D
We definitely want more still, but I don't want do chance an after pregnancy hormonal rebalance pregnancy. I'd like to enjoy this babe for a while. After a year or so I'll probably stop using it and see if a miracle happens, and if not we'll head back for more fert treatment after about 2-3 years depending on BF.

At this stage I imagine that when we are "done" having kids, we'll still only use the diaphragm. Chances are larger than some other methods but I don't think either of us would be the type of people for a surprise pregnancy to be the end of the world. Definitely no tube tying or snips though.

Oh, and why can't you get your tubes tied at the Catholic hospital? I know the Catholic belief around contraception, etc. but it's a hospital for goodness sakes! Surely not all of the staff or patients are Catholic?

Zap: congrats I didn't know you were expecting again. I can just imagine the shock you got..

Lenny: You are soooo nice, but really once these guys come out I realy don't think I could do another pregnancy when I'm pushing 40. My body just won't be able to handle it.

Brogey: I know a bit hypocritical about the tube tying thing. When I asked my Ob he told me if I went to the public hossy then no problem, but he is unable to do it at our Private hospital due to the Catholic view on contraception. Saying that though they are more than happy for me to have my IVF babies there and even though I refer to him as DH (we've been together 8 years) we aren't actually married, so they are also happy for an unmarried mother to give birth there as well.

we've not bothered - there is no way in hell i'm going on the OCP given the reaction i've had to it in the past, we're not AGAINST the idea of more, so meh, it will happen if it's meant to. given it took 3+years to get DD (and a multitude of intervention and surgery) it's not likely, and we won't be going back to AC unless some wealthy benefactor shows up - so we're leaving it up to nature. not trying, but not avoiding. almost two years and no pregnancies so i doubt it's gonna happen in a hurry.

i'm sure there will come a point for us as a couple where we decide that more children at this stage is just not viable, and we'll look at options (DH is an old fart lol) but until then, we run the "risk" of pregnancy every time we're together, and that's fine with us

This is an old thread but in one way fitting for our situation. We are in the "not totally infertile boat but would be a flipping miracle for a natural conception" and we decided to not try, not prevent. This was fine for the first few months, until the we-took-8-years-to-get-these-girls-how-can-i-ignore-my-cycle kicked in and I could feel myself getting overwhelmed each month in the lead up to my period. As we are so incredibly lucky to have our girls and I didn't want to be sacrificing them in any way by hankering after more and forgetting what I have, I got an iud put in. Now, 6 months later, I wonder if I've made a big mistake by taking away whatever minuscule chance we have when I would love another. So no, I am facing the dilemma of giving up on the dream of another baby or enabling it as much as possible but having to deal with the fallout every month. I really don't know what to do but I do know that the thought of never having another baby tears me in two.

Just read the thread and I replied back in May 2011. I ended up getting AF back late 2011 and we actively were ttc since then except a few months off. I worked out it did take 27cycles to get pregnant with our next bub.

After this bub I am sure DH will have a vasectomy. I want to end my ttc days on a good note and DH is adamant he does not want more children so this little miracle will be it for us.

I am still desperately clucky for another baby, but I accept my DHs desire to stop.
Contraception ( I didn't try the mini pill but got an iud) really just stopped me beating myself up every 28 days. Overanalysing things and getting excited if I was a few hours late, then mourning the 'what could have been'. It's over 4 years since ds2 came into the world, that's how long it took to conceive ds1. Maybe we would have been lucky and conceived the super surprise baby. But probably not. But I'll never know. I do think about it all still.

I often feel fortunate to 'know' you ladies. This jumble of feelings would hardly make sense to anyone else.

This thread came up at just the right time for me.

I am one of "those women" who had IVF (first two babies) and then fell pregnant naturally! We didn't use any form of contraception at all between pregnancies and we agreed that we would be delighted with a miracle bub. (And we were delighted but very very surprised to find myself pregnant naturally!) It did change our plans in terms of going back to work, having a significant overseas trip with extended family, etc.

Plus if we didn't fall pregnant naturally, we would have gone back to do IVF with the hope of having 2 more (total 4) children. However, now with 3 children (and no frosties), we don't want to do IVF to have one more baby (we believe that every frostie should be transferred as life begins at conception, so we wouldn't feel comfortable destroying a frostie)

So, we aren't using contraception but aren't expecting to fall pregnant either but at some point we'll have to decide that we wouldn't want a surprise miracle and think about birth control.... But I'm not sure if that will be when DD3 (our youngest) reaches Grade 1 or some other time... I think I'd prefer not to be pregnant after 35 (leaving me only 3 years or so) but I know that lots of people are successfully pregnant after 35 and I realised I'm very blessed to have had the chance to have 3 kids before 35!

Funny area that this whole thought process is impacting is buying a 7 seater car! We'd like to be able to take friend's kids and nieces and nephews places, but we'll need a bigger car. However, I think the car that we'd buy for occasionally using 7 seats would be different to the car we'll buy if we always need 6 seats (for a family of 6)... But we don't know which one will be us until we decide to stop trying or have a fourth!.

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This is an old thread but in one way fitting for our situation. We are in the "not totally infertile boat but would be a flipping miracle for a natural conception" and we decided to not try, not prevent. This was fine for the first few months, until the we-took-8-years-to-get-these-girls-how-can-i-ignore-my-cycle kicked in and I could feel myself getting overwhelmed each month in the lead up to my period. As we are so incredibly lucky to have our girls and I didn't want to be sacrificing them in any way by hankering after more and forgetting what I have, I got an iud put in. Now, 6 months later, I wonder if I've made a big mistake by taking away whatever minuscule chance we have when I would love another. So no, I am facing the dilemma of giving up on the dream of another baby or enabling it as much as possible but having to deal with the fallout every month. I really don't know what to do but I do know that the thought of never having another baby tears me in two.

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That is such a ****ty position. *Hugs* unfortunately its one only you and hubby can make. But if you dont feel right having the contraception then dont. You need to do what makes you feel most comfortable, both options wont be ideal, but one will feel better.
My dh and i haven't used one piece of contraception ever. Even when we first hooked up (which i know is bad, as we.werent offically an item first time we did it) but nearly 7 years and no natural, for me means it will never happen so i dont worry about cycles etc. Even tho im a crazy optimistic cause i still hope it might.

Yep, having the same dilemma here too. Fell naturally, took 3 years. Still a bit scarred from the early days with dd and losing my mind. That coupled with terrible morning sickness. I am unsure if I can do it all again so unsure what to do. We aren't using any contraception and I have pcos and crazy long cycles. So bcp actually helps my symptoms, but I'm afraid if I go back on it it will take another 3 years to conceive should we decide to have another.

I'll be unlikely to ever go on contraception again. I'm 37 and it took 4 years and 9 IVF transfers to get dd so if we get a natural miracle or two or more I will be ecstatic. Having said that if it does happen quickly we may change our mind. Hubby is happy to yo along with what I want for now though. We also gave been lucky to have a very good sleeper so it makes another feel like a possibility. :)

Didn't really know what I was missing out on last time round but now I do and the thought of no more baby is really hard. But is it worth risking my sanity in what will likely be a long and fruitless process