Newborn sleeping... Or lack of!

DS2 is 2 weeks old and in the last few days has decided that he will not sleep in his bassinet, it's on my chest or nothing.

Is this a common newborn thing? How long should I expect this to be happening for? Whilst I love the cuddles, the house is starting to look like a bomb site, but more importantly, I feel like a second rate mum to DS2, I miss spending one on one time with him :(

I'm trying to find the right sling for us so that may help a little but I'm really starting to struggle with this and I'm missing my bed at night too, the recliner appears to be the most comfortable choice for us while this is the go.

He also isn't sleeping for long periods either, maybe 1.5 hours max and then it'll take me 2 hours to get him to sleep again after feed, change and a small play time. That doesn't seem to be enough sleep for a newborn does it?

Please tell me I'm not alone and that this will get better!

Not alone Hun!!!! DS won't sleep anywhere but on me too and I feel I am neglecting my dd as well! Hugs

My DS1 was like that, we invested in a baby hammock and I had my arms free again :).

It will get easier :hug:.

you're not alone. when DS was born, he was generally a good sleeper. but i do remember nights where he would only fall asleep on my chest. so i would lay there uncomfortable for 3 hours at a time lol. all i kept thinking at those times was, "just make the most of these times,because before i know it,he's not gonna wanna cuddle his uncool mother" hehe. it got me through the tough times.

exactly the same here - my poor DD
i thought newborns were supposed to sleep - mine sure dosent. as soon as his head hits the bassinet he is awake :o
big hugs

If I put her down - she wakes up. Its driving me bananas. I don't care about the house work because I do it at night when DH is holding her, or when she eventually DOES friggin sleep - but my other 3 kids are suffering I think.

It's reassuring to know I'm not alone with this, I'm really hoping a sling will help with this, at least during the day, now I just have to find one that works for us!

i found DS slept so well in the hug a bub cos you can kinda pull a bit over to hold their head on ur chest. but its really fiddly to initially put on. but if you can get the hang of it, its really comfy for them.

Mummajj, I have a hug a bub but I just can't master it!

My little mans favorite place to sleep was on my chest but enough was enough and I decided to try tummy sleeping (same position as on my chest) and it seems to have worked (touch wood). But DS3 has amazing neck control.

3.30am and im sitting here with dd in my arms. she wouldnt settle in bed , we co-sleep, so here we are. sitting in the dark. shes asleep, but if i put her down she will wake.
i think its pretty normal, my sling helps me in the day, and i got one of those baby rockers, which is the best money ive spent in a looooong time. she will sleep for hours in the. and i can put her in awake and she will go to sllep. great to give me time with dd1.
also i have one of the big balls, like a birthing ball. and i bounce on the with her and shes asleep in ten minutes, saves me walking up and down the house all day/night.

mine tend to settle a bit once they get used to being out.

i do alot of reading with dd1 while im trying to get dd2 to sleep. hugs

If you're having trouble with the HAB, try a Close Carrier. They are similar, but MUCH easier to use. I loved mine :D

You're not alone. DD2 will only sleep if upright on my shoulder, for 20 mins at a time (before screaming and unsettled again)...not even in a wrap.

I have a Sleepy Wrap which is pretty good for newborns, just not mine apparently LOL.

Not alone at all. Ds2 was exactly like this and slowly got better. For the first 12 weeks he had most of his day sleeps in the hab. The secret with the hab is to do it up really tight and watch the DVD as it makes more sense when you see someone do it. We co slept at least part of the night till the last week as he was getting up at least 3 or 4 times a night and not settling after a feed. If I fed him in bed we would drift off and it was bliss. In the last week he has finally got the whole sleep thing and is only waking up around 4 or 5am for a feed and is going back to sleep. Its bliss but has taken us almost 7 months to get here which is probably not what you want to hear. It gets better, I think we forget how hard the newborn phase is.

as the others have said, soooooo not alone :lol:

With DD2 we had to use the close carrier almost full time for the first 6-8 weeks. i found that this really gave me some freedom as they are totally supported and i was able to do boring ol housework and play with DD1 at the park without too much balancing acts etc going on. at night she also would only want to sleep on my chest so there were nights where i propped myself up with a load of pillows on my bed and we did just that.

Also, this is a huge transition for everyone. i remember experiencing a period of almost grief (ITMS) about the change in relationship that the new baby meant for DD1 and I. that one took a good few weeks to work through. but you do get through it and before you know it that gorgeous newborn is just that bit bigger and you are all back in a new rythmn and you'll be wondering how it is that time has gone so fast! :hug:

My DS was not a great sleeper. During the day he would rarely sleep for longer than 45 minutes. He would wake after the first sleep cycle and refuse to go back to sleep. It was a different story if he was on me though. I'd suggest to keep practising with the hug a bub because it was amazing. DS would fall asleep in it and stay asleep for hours. I would even put it on before going out, drive wearing it in the car, so I could just pull him out of the car and into the hug a bub.

I wish I could tell you that he learnt to sleep better quickly, but his day naps stayed short (although he kept having two naps a day until he was well over 1 year old), and he would wake every 2-3 hours over night for breastfeeds until he was about 16 months. Then it went to 1-2 feeds during the night until the month before my DD was born. He was 19 months then, and has been sleeping perfectly through the night since then. He co-slept in our room (in a cot that had it's side off and was flush with my side of the bed) until he was about 14ish months. We only get the very occasional night (like last night) where he wakes crying and needs one of us to go in to his room to resettle him. I think that he might sometimes have nightmares that causes the wakeups.

My DD is a totally different story. She started sleeping up to 6 hours over night the week she was born, and she sleeps up to 7 hours in a row during the day! I'm amazed how much I miss her while she's sleeping!

When she's awake and I want to play with my DS as well, I try to play games that she can be involved in. Sometimes we put the Wiggles on tv and all dance (me holding DD), or we do things sitting at DS's table, like puzzles, the matching game I made with his little animals and photos of them etc... That way I don't feel guilty about not spending enough time with him. That doesn't mean I never have those moments when I feel like I'm neglecting him though!

a couple of things you could try, wear a tshirt all day and then put it over the mattress so he can still smell you when you lay him down. Also make sure the bed isn't cold, warm it up a lil bit first so it's not such a shock to go from warm mummy to cold bed!!

Another one saying your not alone. And another one whose house looked like a bomb hit it and felt she was neglecting her other children too.

Turned out DS had silent reflux and since going on meds he's settled from doing this a huge amount. Im not saying thats what your little one has reflux, just saying thats what caused and fixed ours. We have also just started tummy sleeping too like a pp mentioned, i wont have him on his belly without the movement monitor on though. I dont like sleeping him on his belly at all but it seems to keep him more settled.

I understand how frustrating it is, i had days where i couldnt put him down at all.

Hi,

it sounds like you have a perfectly normal, well adapted human baby. Remember, 2 weeks ago she was in your uterus, always fed, always held by you, never alone. She could always here your heartbeat, breathing, voice. Who knows what it's like to be born, but I bet it's a bit of a shock! Often babies are fairly mellow for the first 10 days-2 weeks after the birth, probably getting over the birth, drugs you may have had in labour, jaundice etc. But, then they wake up and become demanding. This is a good thing! These are the babies who will demand to be feb and grow and thrive!
You are a great mum to your other little one - this is the lesson. sometimes the needs of another are greater than your own needs, and sometimes you have to share. Sometimes you have to wait. It does him no harm to learn this.
The housework will wait - accept all offers of food, help with housework and childminding

I am sitting here writing this with DS#2 strapped to my tummy in my ergocarrier. TBH he is not too bad for short stints in the swing, but I just like to have him close, not at the other end of the house. Besides, he sleeps for far longer in it and I have my hands free (to type on here of all things!). I think the position helps his tummy too as he burps alot better in it.

good luck hun, it DOES get better and the others are right, before long you will have forgotten all the fuss of the early days. I know my DS#1 was a really bad sleeper from 6 weeks onwards. We tried EVERYTHING and the only thing that solved it was a visit to Ngala here in WA and they diagnosed it as a sleep issue. Once he learned how to self soothe (he was 12 weeks old by then) with a very gentle approach by us, he was just perfect and started sleeping through the night.

Just to add, if money is tight and you can't keep trying new slings, try and swap with a friend or borrow one from someone to see if your bub likes it. They can get expensive and finding the right one might cost too much.

*hugs* babe

Thanks for popping in barb, it's reassuring to hear that from a professional, unlike the cyh nurse I just had come to visit... She basically said I had created a bad habit and I need to get him to "snap out of it" otherwise I'll have sleep issues with him for years! Honestly don't know why I agreed to have them come and visit.

How is everyone going with their little ones? I've managed to get kody in his bassinet a couple of times but it doesn't last long, I'll be lucky if he sleeps 30 mins. Glad I'm not alone though!

that was awful advice! i am sorry that she was so determined to undermine you like that :hug: (we co-slept, carried in slings for day sleeps feed on demand etc and we have NO sleep "issues"...we have a healthy happy baby that also just happens to like sleeping through! both my girls were into sleeping for longer periods of time but with DD1 i did it the more traditional way of not feeding to sleep and then stressing about leaving her to cry, so this time i thought stuff it and just do what feels good for both of us, and that meant feeding when she wanted and sleeping where she wanted: less tears from us all and she sleeps beautifully at the same age that DD1 did! :)). you dont have to snap out of ANYTHING! do what feels good for your family and fly any mean comments like what the CHN said to the wind my dear! :hug:

Jaycee, I did all the supposed "bad habit" forming things. I held DS in my arms constantly, had him sleep on me in a sling during the day, he slept in my arms for the first 3 months, next to me for the next few months, then in the cot in side-car fashion within arms reach until well over a year of age. At 19 months of age it was light a switch was flipped and he started sleeping through the night perfectly!

In contrast, I had a friend who did all the "right" things to get a baby to sleep longer (CIO, sleeping in own room, never sleeping in arms etc) and she now has a 4 1/2 year old who still wakes at least 1-2 times a night.

I'm sure it can depend on the baby, but I often think that DS sleeping through the night so perfectly now is because he knows we're always there for him, that we won't leave him to cry, that we'll come to him if he's scared, and that he generally just feels secure and safe :)

I'm a strong believer in doing what feels right to you and in your heart, and that will be what is best for you both ♥

Despite our best efforts - we did everything wrong too - DS sleeps very happily in his bed every night. I'm totally ignoring that little voice in teh back of my head this time :lol: