At what age did you leave your child with.....

The grandparents for a weekend away?

DH's parents came to visit today as they haven't seen DD for 3mths as they've been away travelling.... they made comments on how much she's grown since Feb etc. I commented on how she's in 'big girl undies' now and doing really well with that and how proud of her we are :D They made a comment about how that's handy for when the baby comes and FIL said "that's great, now we can take her away for the weekend as you've got another baby now". :o
DD is only 2.3yrs old.

I calmly and politely (very matter of factly :lol:) said to them "oooh no, not yet, bit too little for that and besides I'd miss her too much.... there will be plenty of time for that later down the track". DD has never even spent an entire night away from us yet..... hours yes, but not a night let alone a weekend. I think she's too little. She hasn't even been left overnight with my Mum yet.

So what age was your youngest left with the grandparents for a weekend away?

I really don't think I'll be ready to allow DD to stay with the grandparents for a night and 2 days until she's 'at least' five or six!!!! :lol: am I mean??? I have to be comfortable with the decision right??
Hoping they don't bring it up again. I don't get why you have another baby then all of a sudden people think you can't wait to get rid of your eldest :( :shakehead: Besides if they want to see her, they can do it while enjoying our company aswell!

At the end of the day it is what you feel comfortable with. But if you have a non-clingy child who has a great relationship with the grandparent's I don't see what the issue it??:dunno: It is a lovely way for them to bond and enjoy some quality time together.

My children have been staying over grandparents houses from a very young age (DD1 was 2 months old her first time!). And no I am not a parent who doesn't love her children any less or wants to get rid of them all the time either. We have simply had functions over the years where it is not appropriate for children to join us so they sleep over the grandparents houses.

And they love it!:DBoth the kids and the grandparents.

As for weekends away, the first time when we went away for a whole weekend DD1 was 3 and DS was 6 months - that was 2 nights, 2 days. Yes I missed them but I also enjoyed some quality time with DH.

If you trust and respect the grandparents then I say go ahead and do it!

My kids have done it from early on, dd1 was probably a few months old and was about 6months. It was harder for her as she hated to take a bottle. Haven't done it with Ds but it's hard to expect them to take all three.

I think it depends on the relationship they have with the grandparents as well as how you feel about it.

All three of mine were scn bubs and were used to being cared for by a tribe of people, it is something we have carried on with after they got home. It has meant dh and I could take a bit of time out together on the odd occasion and the girls get spoilt by nanna.

DD1 is 4.5 and never been away for the weekend..only overnight.
she was left overnight for the first time the night DD2 was born, so 2.4, DD2 was left overnight at 23 months

DD1 started staying overnight at 17 months & that's because DD2 was born. She loved it.
DD2 hasn't stayed overnight yet & that's because she doesn't cope being away from me or DF for long periods of time.

I don't think i would let DD1 stay a weekend till she was a little older, i'd miss her too much.

dd1 has spent one night away from me in her almost three years and that was the night i spent in hospital after having dd2. she hated it and asked me not to leave her again...bless. you have to feel ready and if its something neither of you are used to it probably wouldnt be as much fun as your inlaws think it would be for her.

for use we have had no choice, we have nofamily or close friends near us that could have her, i often wonder if my parents lived here if she would go and stay with them, but i doubt it really....like you said, id miss her too much! ;)

I'm the same Shanti. DD1 has only been away from me the night DD2 was born and the next time probably won't be until number 3 comes along. I don't see the need this young. She has plenty of fun with them when they visit but we're not ready for overnight yet.

Not for a whole weekend, but overnight DD was over 6 months old but under 1 yo, but I can't remember how old to be exact

My DS had his first sleep over with my parents when he was about 10months old. :think: He would have been still breastfeeding and co sleeping at that stage, I must have sent EBM along too, I can’t remember it very well. He did have a well established relationship with my Mum though, he spent a day with her a week at that stage. After he had weaned (at 14 months) he then had sleepovers at PIL too. My DD has only just had her first sleep over (at my parents) now that she is 2 1/2. I didn’t know why she didn’t have one earlier (she weaned at 22 months), I think we’ve all just been too busy and it’s been too hard to organise.

We see both sets of our parents very regularly and our children have well established relationships with all of them. The clincher for us though is that we trust them. Both sets of parents are very gentle with our kids. They would never let them become distressed about anything and are happy to co sleep with them if they need it (but they usually sleep really well at their grandparents houses. :dunno: )

I personally think it’s really important for my children to have good strong relationships with other people, other than their parents, so I do what I can to make that happen. I know this might sound ridiculously morbid but I just think if anything ever happened to me there are already well established buffers in place and they will be OK.

The grandparents get so much out of it too. Small children (in small doses) can be invigorating for the body but especially for the mind. It keeps them young.

DD1 did not spend the night away from both DH and I (either one of us had her if the other went away) until she was almost 4. It was one night and my parents, that is our choice though. DD2 has stayed at home for one night without us, again our choice.

Its a personal thing. Do whatever you feel comfortable doing xo

ETA DD1 only stayed 2 nights at 5yo before that only one night:)

DD hasnt been anywhere overnight yet and Im not planning on it anytime soon (unless this baby decides to come at an innapropriate hour ofcourse lol... but even then, she will be staying home and my mum will be staying here).

Shes 2.7 years.

I'm very similar to Epacris in my approach. My DS has had one night sleepovers with both sets of grandparents since he was about 3 months. Now he probably averages once a month at either house. For us it's not about babysitting but developing a close relationship.

He is totally the boss at both of their houses and co sleeps to his hearts content.

Once he was away for 2 nights at my parents place as we had a wedding away. It was less disruptive for him to stay the extra night rather than get him up early to drop him off.

Not sure about them going away from their homes with him.... We'd have to take it on a case by case basis but he'd probably need to be a little older yet. That being said, I can't see either sets of parents asking something like that. If they went away we'd probably go too.

DD stays over at my parents for a night probably every 4-6 weeks. She's still breastfeeding, sleeping in my bedroom and occasionally waking for night feeds but my parents and her have worked out their own groove too so it has never been an issue. She probably first went around 18 months? Can't quite remember! She loooooves staying at Grandma and Grandpa's, she sees them every few days so they are all very comfortable with eachother.

IF that ever happens I think my children would have to be at least 10 years old.

You're lucky they're offering. My kids have only been away from me and DH at the same time when I'm in labour. Other than that, never and it's likely that they never will be, though not by my choice. If I had someone I trusted enough, like my mum or dad or a best friend, I would do it in a heart beat, though DS2 is a frequent feeder so he couldn't go for a whole night, only a few hours. Once he could go for a night I would be offloading them for a night or two for sure! Time for DH and I to be alone, time for me to regather my sanity (or what's left of it) time to just be me and not worry about other little humans, yep, definately!

DS had his first weekend away with the grandparents last school holidays, he is 5.

My parents won't have the kids overnight until theyre sleeping in beds (as opposed to cots) which was 3 for DS1.

So not any time soon for DS2

Just do what suits you :) DS was probably about the same age as your DD when he first spent the night away from us, and has had a few sleepovers since with my parents. 2 nights is too long though! :redface:

I still haven't. DD turned 2 in March. She's been looked after of an evening, but we've always come home. I'm not comfortable with it at this point in both our lives.

I haven't yet. They are 3.5 and 2. And i don't see it happening in the near future. Maybe after they start school i'll rethink it. My MIL always mentions it, but there is not a chance i would send my girls away with her for a weekend at the moment. They will be with my parents overnight when i have this baby until my husband arrives. I'm freaking out a little about it, but given i have no other option i just have to deal with it. :)

My girls stay overnight with my parents fairly regularly - probably about once a month - and have done since DD1 was about 3.5 and DD2 about 2.5. It is definitely not for babysitting reasons - the girls absolutely love it and so do my parents. They have a routine worked out well and truly - sleep in Gran's bed, get up, Gran makes pancakes, take the dogs for a walk and then I come to pick them up. They have never stayed at my PIL's house though and to be honest I can't imagine a situation so dire that I would allow it to happen.

I think it all comes back to your comfort level, and that has little to do with the age of your kids. Girls are 4 and 3 now and lately I have been wondering about a proper weekend away with DH, with the girls staying at my folks. I have no doubt the kids would love it - just not sure I'm ready for that much separation yet!

DS spent the night at my parents when he was 10weeks old. It was our wedding night and we wanted to have the night to ourselves after the reception. Luckily he was good at taking EBM at that point and sleeping like an angel.
Staying at PIL's would be a different story - hasn't happened yet and I don't plan on it for a long time yet.

For a weekend though, I'm not comfortable with it, but might do it for our one year anniversary.... we'll see how I go... but you have to be comfortable in your decision

They haven't yet... Oskar was 4 in March and Elijah was 2 in April. Some people think it's wrong, but to us, it's not. They are our babies and our responsibility and how we like it.

Interesting how we are all so different :D

Until I'm comfortable and 100% good with the idea, DD or any of our kids won't be staying a night away from us. It's not that we don't trust the grandparents, we know they would be in very safe hands it's just that they are our babies (like someone else said) and our responsibility and TBH, we'd miss them like crazy!!! Yeah, the break would be good, heck I'd love more sleep but at the expense of my DD's happiness or my happiness? Nup, to me, not worth it. She still wakes at night and needs cuddles with her Daddy and me.

A PP commented that 'you're lucky' they offered but TBH, I would much rather the PIL's offer to help out throughout the day with DD so I can get some sleep because right now, I am so tired from waking hourly at night (very sore hips) from pregnancy and really could do with more rest during the day time..... they are retired but they don't offer to help out in other ways. Instead they want to take DD off our hands and away from us and that just doesn't make me feel comfortable until she's older. Yes, it's a nice gesture but suits them, not us. KWIM?

I also don't think I'm sacrificing DD's relationship with her grandparents by not letting her stay overnight with them. She can spend as much time with them whenever they choose to visit and still have a wonderful relationship with them without the need to be away from her parents while she's still so young. MIL and FIL would be able to see her alot more than they do if they didn't 'choose' to travel away for weeks at a time so if they really want to see her more, it's up to them to be home more often and to visit more really. :D

Her first sleep over with grandparents would be at their house too, not in their campervan at some caravan park somewhere 2hrs away or so!!! eeek.

Entirely down to what suits you :)

Pie hasn't had an overnighter yet, and I'm not in any hurry. And there isn't anyone I'd be comfortable leaving her with, TBH.

My other kids all had their first sleepovers much younger, at a few months, but we lived closer to my mum & saw her a few times a week... quite a different scenario.

Would you be comfortable asking them to take her for a few hours during the day?

Do what works for you! it's not up to grandparents to tell you when your child is old enough to have time away from you - that's why YOU are the parent!

FWIW - DD had her first time away from us (at all) at 7 months (while we went to a concert - mum came to Melbourne and had DD at my cousins place). She has been with either myself, DH or my mum the rest of the time (she started going to mum's while i worked when she was 10.5months). We are going to do a trial overnight stay in probable October/November as a friend has just bought us concert tix for December. As much as i KNOW Sopdet would love having DD there while we go to the concert, I feel DD would be more likely to settle at Mum's where she already knows the environment. I want to do a test sleep over first with me at home which is only 20 minutes away, as opposed to two hours or more if she is really unsettled. if it doesn't work out, we can revisit WHY and make sure she is happy by the time it has to happen. By then, DD will be 2y7m - we'll drop her in the arvo so we can head to Melb, and pick her up first thing in the morning

DD1 went away for a couple of nights with my mum when she was 18 months - DP and I were so sick with the flu that we couldn't physically look after her so thankfully my mum came and took her. She often goes away and stays there for a few nights now. She loves it!

DD2 went for 3 nights with DD2 earlier this year so she was about 2 I think. She also had a ball. My mum looks after the girls one day a weeks while I work and has done all their lives so they do have a close relationship with her. DD1 went to MILs for a few nights by herself just recently but MIL is deaf so we had to make sure that DD1 could get up and look after herself before she could stay by herself so DD2 hasn't been there overnight alone yet.

DS1's only night away from us was when he was 2 1/2 and we went way for our 10 year anniversary. 9 mths later DS2 was born! He hasn't had another night away from us :p

For our family, I don't feel the need to be away from them. They both spend heaps of time with my parents & have a good relationship with them & if we had somthing to go to I wouldn't be too unhappy leaving DS1 with his grandparents, not sure about DS2 as he still bf to sleep - DS1 had weaned about a month before our anniversary. I'd feel more comfortable waiting till he weaned before having a night away from us, I'd be too worried that he'd be upset & I don't want to put my parents in that situation.

I haven't read all of the replies but I would say it is totally dependent on the relationship. DS had sleep overs from quite young with my parents but hasn't yet with DH's mum and probably will never with his dad/MIL.

We went to a wedding away(5 hours) when ds was 14 months and my mum stayed at our place for 2 nights. At that time my cousin lived with us who my ds adores and was like another mum so it wasn't much upheaval, except for DH and I who felt really lost without him.

Last month he had his first sleepover at my mum and dads so DH and I could go out for out anniversary. We could have picked him up after but having him sleep over gave mum and dad so much pleasure it was worth my bit of angst and he had a lovely time.

I (and ds) see my mum and dad 5-6 times per week so he's very comfortable with them.

DD4.5 has only ever slept at our place, or daddy's place (on access night). But we have no grandparents for her to stay with, so i guess it's a moot point. i would love for her to get to know, and spend time with older people.

i think do it when you feel it's right, not when the grandparents pressure you to do it. You have your instinct, that will guide you, as to when YOUR child is ready.

You know your child best, and what the relationship between your child and the grandparents is like. Do what feels right I guess.

DD is 9 years old and has never stayed overnight with my mum. Not because I wouldn't trust her, quite the opposite in fact, but simply that the opportunity/situation has never arisen (mum being on the farm and often extremely busy). On the other hand, she regularly has sleepovers with her Grandma (X-MIL) and Grandad, she's also gone on holidays in the caravan with them and an assortment of other grandkids ever since she was about 4 years old. She absolutely loves it, she comes home with so many stories about the exciting things she gets to do with with Grandma and Grandad, the places she's been and everything.

I do think it's important where-ever possible for kids to get used to spending time with extended family without their parents there, or with other trusted adults. It really helps build that community and teaches them to understand different dynamics and that different rules apply in different places. But it has to be when you're comfortable with doing it, not before.

These questions make me sad when people have a choice. When the court tells you your baby has to spend night away from you, it's hard not to feel jealous of others who have the luxury of deciding at what age, when and how long their children will be away from them.

MJ started staying over at my mums when I went back to work, mum looked after her Thursday and Friday and suggested that she keep her overnight as the traveling backwards and forwards each day would be too much and would be very rushed for me.
I hated the idea of it (not mum having her, but me not having her) but Mum was doing me such a favor in caring for her I agreed to give it a go.
MJ loved it and the relationship mum and dad have with her is incredible.
So that use to be one night every week from the age of 1-3 years.

Prior to that we would have sleep overs Together so she was very use to staying there.

It is however very individual and if I wasn't working, I don't know when it would have been. Mum and Dad have never had MJ for a social event, we either go separately, take her or have someone at our house to look after her (2 times I think).



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