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At what age can they:
- walk next to you in a carpark or across a quiet road without holding your hand?
- cross a quiet street totally unsupervised (e.g. walking to school)?
- cross a busy road at a designated pedestrian crossing totally unsupervised?
Of course it’s going to be slightly different for different children, but I just want some ball-park numbers (just interested, it's all still a long way off for my kids). :D
DS is 3.5 and I generally don't hold his hand walking down the street or across quiet roads ie my entire town but if it is tourist season or if we are in a city then I do across the road. He must have been around 2.5 when I stopped holding hands everywhere, but he is not the sort of kid that would ever dart out in traffic or run away.
I am not sure about unsupervised. Our town doesn't have much traffic so it would probably be earlier here than in a city.
Many of the school safety campaigns say 9 to 10 for all of the above
Really? 9-10? There are children who walk to the local primary on their own and they cross unsupervised, they seem about 7ish.
DS1 (37mth)s walked through Bunnings carpark with me today without holding my hand because he had a water bottle in one and half a sandwich in the other. My eyes were glued to him though!! Thankfully Bunnings is pretty quiet at 1.30pm on a Tuesday :) You've got me wondering if i should have.
Whoops, seems I am quite liberal!
Nah, I'm with you Lenny. Sometimes between my bolter (DS) and anything else I'm carrying, DD just holds onto my pocket ot cardigan or whatever she can. She's really good like that, but DS is such a lunatic, I wouldn't even entertain it with him.
My sister however is happy to let her toddlers run anywhere, including car arks, and was happy for her 5th to walk to school on his own around the block (roads, but no busy ones to cross, but alongside a main road).
I'm sure I read somewhere that the brain doesn't develop enough to accurately process distance information until after 8 years old which is why they say over 8 for walking to school and crossing roads unsupervised. Before that age they can't actually judge distance and speed well enough to determine if it is safe to cross a road with traffic.
I trust my 5yo to walk next to me in a carpark but I still make sure she holds my hand as I don't trust other drivers and I am also fully aware of how easily she can be distracted or lose concentration.
No matter where we are or how quiet it is.. My DD (3.5) and Ds3 (5) always hold my hand when in a car park or crossing the street..
Generally you just teach your children the dangers of moving vehicles and I also teach my kids not to hop or run or jump near roads. NOt because they will go on it but it might scare the drivers.. Think to when you are driving and you see a child playing on the sidewalk (eg) I always find my heart skips a beat if they are jumping or hopping ect.. (does that make sense)
A few times Ds2 (7) has been a bit silly so for the next few days he has to hold my hand when in a car park ect..
Yep 8 years old is the age they say - children under that age don't have the ability to process how close something is to them, so whether they have time to safely cross. Also little children are easily disracted and should always hold a hand crossing a road incase they decide to take interest in something else! I see some parents allowing their 6 year olds go to school with older (maybe 8 and 9 yrs) siblings - often on bikes or scooters and it just terrifies me. I drive the pick up bus from a school and it's a hectic time of day with cars and kids everywhere and my heart is often in my throat when I see unsupervised kids.
DD was about 7 or 8 when she started being allowed to walk to/from school or down to the park on her own. She's 9 and we're now gradually letting her start riding her bike on the road with minimal supervision, but only in quiet areas - when she's riding with us we get her to make the decisions about when to cross and what's safe to get her used to it in controlled circumstances.
She would've been 5 or 6 when I no longer insisted on holding hands in carparks etc. I think it's important to teach kids road safety by giving them the chance to make decisions about what's safe and what's not, to give them confidence in themselves when they get it right - but you're right there to keep them safe if needs be.
Does everyone else seriously hold hands every time?? Surely I am not the only person that lets their 3 year old walk down the street without holding on to them? What do other people do when they are carrying a smaller kid and shopping?
What about riding bikes along the road? How do you get across the road when everyone is on a bike? DS has been riding his bike on the footpath with us on our bikes since Christmas, so 3y 4m. He stops at the road, checks if it is clear and then rides across. I now let him ride on the side of the road where there is a 3-4m wide gravel strip because it has puddles he likes to ride through.
I think it really depends where you live Arte. I would never let Dd cross the road alone here. It's busy, lots of people, lots of cars. She wants to but I just don't think it's safe.
In PNG she rides her bike up the road because there is hardly and traffic.
JM, I was wondering if it is because we are country hicks lol.
Dd1 still gets distracted, she loves a good puddle and will veer off if I am not careful, but we can ask her to stand by a tree while getting others in the car. It's harder for me with three so young. I cant watch them all or get to them quickly. In the shops dd1 walks quite happily beside me.
When I walk the schoolies to school (so 5 and up), I don't hold their hands other than to cross the road - unless they want to, sometimes they just want to hold my hand and chat. If they were 3 year olds, and we were going on a waling excursion somewhere, I'd hold the hands of the ones I know aren't trustworthy! I guess parents know their children's 'levels' of understanding.
If it were in the city though, I'd be a bit more panicky!
We still hold DD's hand to cross the road or to go through the carpark. It's usually initiated by her - she'll just reach up and hold our hand or hang on to our clothes.
We are in a pretty quiet area (except in summer holidays) and we don't hold her hand when just walking along the footpath. She knows to stop one join back from the road if she gets a bit ahead of us. I think it comes down to how well you feel you understand your kids too. Unfortunately, she takes after DH and I and is super sensible. My niece however...... she takes after her mum and she'll still be getting distracted walking across the road at 15!!
Arte, I'm thinking there's less traffic where you are than most of us! LOL:
this is an interesting thread. i see lots of unaccompanied kids walking to school (from my window) each morning.
At bike safety school a few years ago, i thought i remembered the instructors saying kids need to be 12, before they ride to school alone, something to do with when peripheral vision kicks in. Maybe i remembered the wrong age.
We're near a busy main road, takes ages for me to get across in a car, and it's often a hairy experience for ME, as an adult in a car. Cannot imagine bilby navigating that, i think she'd need to walk her bike across a pedestrian crossing. So many hoons, stolen car activity around here, broken glass - punctures etc - keeping her safe is constantly on my mind (more than anywhere i've ever lived before). I drive her (and her bike) to safer neighbourhoods, just so she can ride her bike in parks and playgrounds. God, i will only be able to do that for a short time, the bigger she gets, i won't be able to put her bike in the carboot when she gets bigger. hmmm.
Where there are cars / or places where cars are likely to be my kids hand will be held. I make it a rule. Once I feel they are mature enough to make smart decisions and that they respect the road will i then revisit this rule.
Kids can be unpredictable, as can drivers and other road users. Many kids can't differentiate between a busy or quiet road; kids think differently to older people. Even if there are 'safe' crossing locations, I simply don't trust road users. I have had to pick up the pieces too many times through work.
Not to mention kids witness bad crossing behaviors demonstrated by older kids, adults etc and many will copy.
Yep the road safety rules here in vic say 9 - 10. And don't be fooled by the ease of country roads. I have 2 friends who's children were hit by cars on country roads, and not because they were naive or irresponsible.
My GF, 2 weeks ago was nearly hit by a car, and they were crossing the road at the right time. She was with her husband, a car came speeding around the corner and refused to stop. Her husband ended up with bruising because he lept out of the way. Luckily their son wasn't with them. If he had been I hate to think what would have happened.
I think the biggest problem is we've forgot how to teach our children things. Just because we grew up in a different time and had different amounts of freedom doesn't mean that needs to be the yardstick for our own children. I've seen people just assume that once a child reaches a certain age that they are capable of all these things, yet not once have they been taught. KWIM?
We often do that with the 3 of us, not because our local area is unsafe (quite the opposite actually) but to go to different places to ride that are a bit more interesting, such as national parks or around the river etc. We have a strap on bike carrier that doesn't need a tow-ball that comfortably takes 3 adult sized bikes - wasn't particularly expensive either at a decent bike shop. Ebay might have them cheaper too :):
DS1 started walking to school only this yr so 8.5 yrs he turned 9 in April. I just couldn't trust him to cross the road as he was unpredictable at times and we only live 400metres from the school. Both my boys have been lunatic darters as soon as you aren't holding there hands.
DD1 at 9 walksto school unsupervised in a small down. School is about 3 blocks away. DD2, at 6 will occasionally walk with DD1 to a friends house down the other side of our street. Crossing the road at this end, down through the middle of a block of houses & across the other road. Again, very quiet street, Kinda supervised, as in I can see them at the top, my friend can see them at the bottom.
In a bigger town DD1 does not cross a road unsupervised & DD2 will hold a hand/pram.
ETA - DS at 3 never walks when we are out. He's in a pram. He is a bolter & I can't do it. Here, if we walk I prefer him to hold hands on the road, but again, he's usually in the pram coz he runs.There's nothing I can do once he's gone, so I don't risk it. I can't run because of my SPD.
I still don't let my 11 year old walk to
school on her own! She is very responsible, the school is on our street (about 1.6kms up the road) AND we live in a small town BUT I still wouldn't feel comfortable with her walking on her own. I just wouldn't be able to relax not knowing if she actually made it to school or not!
That's just me though. I'm a bit of a worrier!