This just sucks.

:crying: I don't want to be designing my son's headstone as his sister sleeps next to me! I want to be curled up next to BOTH my babies, not trying to decide on his epitaph. I don't want to be trying to work out if we can afford to have a photo of him on it, which quote I should have. How do you sum up someone so big and small in such few words? Do I put his middle name on it? Can I get away with a song lyric?

Yep, I'm going to start properly organising Ianto's headstone (or, if we can't afford that, plaque :cry:) - I've found which company I want to do it, and hooray, they have an instant online quote thingie where I can design it fully, get a quote, change it, blah blah. So no being incredibly embarrassed when someone tells me how much it will be and my eyes bug out at how expensive it all is. And their products are fantastic, so different to anything I've ever seen before. Not that I tend to hang around cemeteries, but you get what I mean. They don't do the tired old boring type of headstone.

I dunno, I'm feeling crappy that I can't decide which quote/picture/wording I want on it, but I'm feeling good that I'm finally getting around to doing it. Spewing that the font I want isn't available on the type of headstone I want, though. It's so pretty...

:hug: Teni. Some things just aren't right. Xx

Don't feel crap about it, the right words and composition will come. X

*big hugs*

It will work out. It's so crap doing it, but when you do find that quote or style, it will fit well and feel right to you and that will help your decision. I know its such a personal thing but if there is anything I can do to help let me know.

I really wish you didn't have to do this. *hugs*

Huge :hug:

No advice, just love and strength.

Oh Teni, big hugs hun. I'm in the same boat, We are designing Rileys at the moment and it feels so bad :(

hugs hunni xox

oh hun :hugs: whatever you decide will be perfect xx

Hugs hun :hug: I remember doing Joshua's plaque a couple of years ago. I re wrote the words a hundred times, they were only giving me so many lines and I thought, how can I fit in everything I want to write? I finally came up with something short enough but something that had meaning to us. GL hun, you'll come up with the perfect one (eventually!).

:hug: to you and strength at this time xo.

Oh :hug: sweet.

I can only imagine how hard it is to organise all this. You will find the right words, they will come xo

:hug: I know it's nowhere near the same, but when my dad died I was 15, and somehow I got landed with the responsibility of doing his headstone. You'll find the words.

:hug: im sure you will find the words you need. :hug:

If I showed you all a couple of my ideas, could I get some feedback?

Sure!

of course!

I've just stuck the ones I have saved on my phone to photobucket -

http://s997.photobucket.com/albums/a...stone%20ideas/

ETA - They grey ones are what I was talking about. They're stainless steel with glass in the middle for colour. If you google "forever shining" you can see more for reference :D

Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks ;)

I don't feel really qualified to help, so please ignore my thoughts if you like... :)
I really like photo two. I like the black and white. The words are really lovely too. Can you add a photo to that one? The photo of Ianto's hand on the sixth photo looks gorgeous on the black and white...

they are all beautiful Teni, the one that stuck out the most to me was the black and white one in the seccond pic, i also agree with jm about seeing if you can get a pic on it?.

I agree, the second one is just beautiful :heartbeat:

I like 2 and 6.

A friend has a lovely one for her daughter. It's stone, with a stained glass insert of a rainbow that the sun shines through. I'd be scared someone would break it though.

I'm sorry you're going through this but I know how important it is to get everything right. Take your time.

i like 6, but you could also word it as 'we said hello whilst saying good bye"????

i like the blue colour too...

if you cant decide but cant keep doing 'this' then i suggest you set a date to decide??? We did the for our wills so totally not the same but it was an emotional time and i just dont think we would have ever got there if we just didnt set a date.......

anyway who am i to talk about this stuff...... hugs!

Oh Teni :hug: I like the sentiment of #2 with the "beloved firstborn"

It's strange, but I was looking at some Dr Who / Torchwood merchandise, and there are buttons "I :heartbeat: Ianto" and "Team Ianto (he has a Pterodactyl)" and was thinking should get a button for you.

:(
I like the second one

I like both 2 and 6.

Hugs and thinking of you.

I like the 2nd one also, the wording is beautiful.
I am so sorry you are going through this :hug:

I rememmber doing our angels & writing and rewriting it so many times

:hug: teni. They are beautiful.

I like the 6th one best.

I think the date would look nicer at the bottom though.

Like:

Photo top centre

Name name name

Beloved 1st born of name & name

We said hello at the same time we said goodbye

Date

Tenibear
DH and I did this in March and its one of the hardest thing we have had to do. We had the same problem picking the fitting words to have a photo or not too what style colour. If you would like to to give me an email addy i could email you a pic am unsure on how to add pics here.

I really like 1 and 2!!
They are gorgeous..
I remember doing isaiah's it's the worst feeling ever having to try pitting your feelings and love for them in a couple of sentences
Huge :hug:
They are all gorgeous hun xoxo

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk xoxox

I really like photo 2 it's lovely and i like the wording :hug:

I think they are all really nice Teni. I think out of all of them i like #2 the best though
Goodluck with the right one, i too believe that the right wording will just come to you
xx

Teni - you're right, it does suck. There is no easy way around it. If you want it done, then you're the one that will do it, you and Scott and Amelia. But I know how you wish you didn't have to. I know how much it costs and how much that makes it all so much harder. Seriously... it costs HOW MUCH???? It just add to the grief.

Just sit with each one a while, and you will know. It's too important a decision to rush. You need to feel comfortable. But having said that you have known all along.

Everything that you create for Ianto, is beautiful, and each one just shines with your love for him.

Teni, I like number 6, it made me cry:cry:

You have given me a little inspiration, I have to tackle this and do my daughters as well.

thank you and hope you are happy with the results, keep me posted, would love to know if you are happy with that company.

Teni, I'm sorry that you have to do this :hug:
I like 2 and 6, probably 2 better.

I hope you can get what you really want xx


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Teni honey, big hugs xx

I like number 2 ... With the photo of number 6. I know Amelia wasn't around but maybe add something like proud big brother to amelia? Xx

Sorry you have to do this. This must be so hard for you xx :grouphug:

If you need to chat just inbox k? X

Sent from my iPhone (via Tapatalk) so please forgive the spelling mistakes...

Hubbys been gone nearly 18 months , and everytime i sit down to do it i cry and cry some more , i think i know what i want but not what everyone else wants . I like all your deisgns they are all beautiful im sure what ever u decide on with be perfect - Take ur Time .

I've only just seen the last few replies, sorry if I seemed rude! Thanks everyone for your help, I'm still procrastinating :-/ I spoke to the lady at the cemetery because I had no idea where to start, so I'm half a step closer at least! I think part of it is the knowledge that once it's done, it's done. I can't do anything else for him that will be permanent. Getting his headstone is the very last thing I'll really be able to do for my little boy, and I'm not sure I'm ready yet :(


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:hug: i know i cant say anything helpfull at all. i do know that no matter what you do it will be very special and just right for your little man :hug:

:

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Getting his headstone is the very last thing I'll really be able to do for my little boy, and I'm not sure I'm ready yet :(

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:(