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I co-sleep with my 12 week old as its so much easier to feed him during the night (he wakes often)..(hubby sleeps on mattress at the moment) but a comment was made to me today that perhaps he is waking and feeding often due to his insticts of being so close to me and mums milk and perhaps I would have a better nights sleep if he were in his cot next to my bed instead?
thoughts ladies??
I co-sleep and have with both. Yes they can wake more often, but you don't have to get up :) Plus there is evidence that these more frequent arousals are protective against things like SIDS and baby learns to regulate breathing by being close to mum. It gets better but you have to do whats working for you! Grab a copy of Pinky's new book, 'Sleeping Like a Baby' which is great - just been released and great reviews already ;) Covers all aspects of sleeping with facts and studies and most importantly, real life experience!
thanks kelly, have already ordered the book!
I'm all for people doing what works best for them. For us, it has been since we made the decision to move Maddy into her own room & own cot. As a result we basically co-sleep half the night. Maddy starts off in her own bed for the big portion of her sleep, and I get some rest. Halfway through the night she wakes and she comes back to bed with us for a feed and a cuddle back to sleep. We stay that way through til the morning.
I've known plenty of women who succesfully co-sleep; but I did find Maddy was constantly nuzzling at the breast when she spent all night in bed with us. It meant I didn't get much sleep at all and led to a sleep-deprived and somewhat cranky Mummy!
WM comes into bed with us most nights. This usually happens after he wakes early in the morning, having spent the first part of the evening in his cot which is also in our room. It means that both he and I get to sleep a little longer, even if that sleep is light on my part. At the moment though, because I am on maternity leave, missing sleep is not so much of an issue for me.
I second what the others have said .. you have to go with what works for you. Some people find it too difficult to have a child in the bed and others wouldn't have it any other way.
We have Sammys cot pushed up next to our bed with the side rail off. He starts off in there and spends the night mostly cuddled up between DH and I. For day sleeps he is happy to sleep in his own cot with all of his specials to look at. I think bubs wake anyway and easy access to the breast with cosleeping throughout the night can ensure that milk supply is adequate.
Jo
We "mostly" co-sleep and have done since Maggie was about 3 months. Most nights we start her out in the cot, as we are still up doing things and she will then come to bed with her first wake-up after we have gone to bed. Some nights though she when she is difficult to settle, so she will come to bed with us straight away.
Much easier for breastfeeding, but I do think some nights she does feed more often for it.
That's a great idea Jo with the cot!
Elijah will start off in his cot these days too (which we've altered into a bed now), so he comes in when he needs to. We were doing so well with night weaning until he got sick *waaaaaah*. Will keep trying :) I know that him sleeping through the night is soooo close though, have been patiently waiting my four and a half years to sleep through the night, so when I do it will be heaven. And my legs will be crossed :D
I have co slept with all 6 of my kids and they are all (besides Bella and Patrick) in their own beds. The only reason Bella stills sleeps with us now is because there is no room for another bed in the caravan. Pat will sleep in his capsule most of the night and then he comes in with us.
We co-sleep and I think it's great! I don't think Tamsin's waking more often because I'm close, but even if she was I think I'd still get a better night's sleep co-sleeping and feeding more often, than I would if I had to get up (less times) to feed her.
ETA: Fletch, to answer your questions - I only sleep with her at night, although she sleeps better during the day if she's on my lap (or DH's); she goes into our bed on her own if I'm not ready for bed and I sneak in later, but we've moved the bed off the frame and onto the floor so if she rolls off the mattress (and she doesn't normally even wriggle) she won't get hurt.
DH and I plan to co-sleep, but as the bed is small and we're both nocturnal wrigglers we'll be having Baby in a cot next to the bed with the front down, so I can reach over and cuddle Leibling or BF during the night easily (ooh, another excitement - I'll have a baby to feed in the nighttime too!). If DH and I moved around less then we would consider having the baby in with us, but right now we feel that the risk is a bit too high - we don't want to roll over and squash Leibling!
So we're not yet co-sleeping, but will be, I just got all excited that I could answer this.
We co-sleep with both our bubs. Imran sleeps in our bed and Yasin has a double bed so when he wakes up in the night and is upset DH can go and sleep in his bed.
Fletch at the moment Imran has most of his day sleeps on my lap or in a rocker but we've also got a hammock and a crib and I'm hoping to convince him to sleep in them at some point.
We've also got one of those things with the bolster on each side to stop them from rolling but it was waste of $20 because we never use it.
We co sleep, usually in the early hours of the morning. It's especially cold at the moment here and we find that if Ivy and Noah wake up for a feed, it's easier and cosier to just feed and sleep in bed. I didn't do it with my first set of twins but we did it with Lily. There was a difference in sleeping patterns but I think it had alot more to do with the nature of Lily than the co sleeping!
we co-sleep. we have with all of ours josh (11), zak (8) and now oscar. having co-slept with all 3 i have found that re the feeding more often it depended on my baby. josh was happy to have a feed before sleep and then in the morning where as zak would feed most of the night. oscar feeds early morning. fletch re when do you co-sleep during the day early at night. oscar sleeps on my knee or den's knee or we have a little bed where we watch telly in the play room and he goes on that until we go to bed then we pick him up and put him in bed. re the day sleeps he often sleeps in the sling still or i put him on the bed in the play room while i scrap book while he sleeps or i lie down with him on our bed and have a snooze too. just depends on where i would like to be really.
i find co-sleeping the easiest and most natural way for oscar and me. it works for us.
beckles
Harry goes to sleep every night in his own bed but ends up in our bed at some point - he just comes in when he wakes up, climbs in and most of the time I don't even notice until I wake up in the morning! It is nice having him sleep in our bed, although it gets a bit cramped because we only have a double. We are planning to remedy that pretty soon, hopefully before the new baby comes. Grace only co-slept when she was a newborn and ever since then she has slept in her cot in her own room - I have brought her into our bed on occasion when she has been unsettled but she actually doesn't like it and wriggles and squirms and ends up settling better in her own bed. Little miss independent!
Gemma co-sleeps for half the night, she goes to bed in her cot then wakes at about 2am and comes into our bed for the rest of the night. If shes sick or a bit clingy we just bring her to bed with us when we go to bed.
We co-sleep on and off depending on how Seth is, most of the time he wants to be in his bed, but if he's unwell or in unfamiliar territory (say when visiting friends) he'll be in and out of my bed...
*hugs*
Cailin
We have done co-sleeping in various ways with Aidyn.
Funnily enough it was only when he was a newborn for the first month or so that I couldnt sleep with/near him as I was so completely anxious and edgy with every noise that he made which stopped me from getting any sleep!
But when he was 1 month+ most commonly we would settle him in our bed with us, then transfer him to his cot once asleep. Then he would be back in our bed after his early morning feed.
When we was older (8 months +) we took one side off his cot and put it between our bed and the wall, so it was like an extension, and it stayed like that until he was over a year.
I used to co-sleep with him at nap times quite frequently when he was younger as well, but not so much when as he got older.
Now that he is over 2, co-sleeping pretty much doesnt work anymore. He comes into our bed for his early morning bottle, but does not go to sleep again with us. If he ever cries and come in our bed during the night, he is usually really restless sleeping between us after a while, and will ask to go back to his cot.
DH and I sleep head to toe with a child each. I often wake up with a foot up my butt. I dont know where this baby is going to fit :)
My 7 month old co-sleeps too and nuzzles at the breast all night. It has definitely been a great and easy 7 months but, as much as I hate to say it, I would LOVE for him to sleep in his own cot now. He goes to bed at night in his cot but will wake at around 11 and come in with me and stay there until the morning. However, lately I have been trying to put him in his own cot after a feed but he just wakes straight away and screams until he comes back into bed with us. I start a night time mothercraft nursing job in mid aug and desperately want him sleeping through the night by then so my hubby can get some sleep!! Does anyone have any ideas about getting them out of co sleeping????
Our three year old still sleeps with us every night :)
I have co slept with all of my children too. During the daytime naps they go into their own cots and they go down there at first in the night. When Tehya wakes for her first feed she comes into bed with me and thats where she stays til we get up in the morning. Can't say that I get a great nights sleep though.
I got told tonight that co-sleeping is not allowed anymore, can someone please clarify this for me?
I have not heard that anywhere Jess.... There is no way that co-sleeping couldnt be allowed!! People have a right to sleep next to their own children!!!
On the Sids and Kids website, it does say that co-sleeping is not recommended, but they do give a list of safe guidelines for people that do choose to co-sleep.
I honestly believe that no-one has the right to tell any parent that they are not allowed to co-sleep, unless maybe it was being done unsafely?
I co-sleep with both Pat and Bella. Pat sleeps next to me and Bella sleeps in between me and DH.??The lady tonight said that because of SIDS co-sleeping is not recommended and when I mentioned that I can think of plenty of people who co sleep their children she said well if you do it then I will have to remove him/them from your care!
That is just so, so, so, so wrong... they cannot do that... and surely they cannot even threaten to do that???
I am absolutely gobsmacked... why are they wanting to remove babies from loving parents who co-sleep, when no doubt there are many neglected and uncared for little ones out there.
That is just SO wrong.
There must be somewhere that you can file a complaint about this. They should not be able to get away with threatening that???
We co-sleep with Bella until she was 3, but not with Aleisha because she seems to sleep better in her cot. They are so different to each other. She likes to move round in her cot but Bella was different, she hated her cot and would wake up after an hour or so when she realises she was in it.
I co-slept with DS and found in the first 3-6 mth yes he woke more often but who could say he wouldn't have woken that often if we hadn't coslept. On the other hand I found he then slept more peacefully from 6 mth on because we coslept.
I did have the cot beside us and DS would sleep between me and the edge of the bed as DH didn't feel comfortable with he baby between us. This time around I am looking at buying a co-sleeper which attaches to the bed. Enjoy this beautiful time. I loved sleeping with my bubba and still love it when DS crawls into bed with us.
Right on!!! how DARE they :angry::
Jess, these are the current co-sleeping guidelines from the SIDS and KIDS website
As you can see co-sleeping is not considered intrinically dangerous and they don't recommend against it. What they recomend against is unsafe sleep environments such as parents affected by intoxicants or sleeping in waterbeds etc.:
11. Is it safe to bedshare with my baby?
Many adult sleeping environments are unsafe for infants and may increase the risk of SIDS and fatal sleep accidents. Each year, several babies die whilst bedsharing.
An adult sleeping environment can be hazardous for infants and young children partly because the bedding generally includes pillows and duvets, which are not recommended in an infant’s sleeping environment.
Research has shown that the risk of SIDS and fatal sleep accidents increases in the following circumstances.
If a parent who smokes bedshares with their infant
If a parent is under the influence of alcohol or drugs that cause sedation
If a parent is excessively tired
If other children share the bed with an infant
If the infant gets caught under bedding e.g. pillows and duvets
If the bed is a water bed or if the mattress is too soft
If a parent falls asleep with an infant on a sofa
If an infant gets caught between the bed and the wall or falls off the bed
If the infant is rolled on
Research in New Zealand and the UK has shown that sleeping baby in the same room, but not in the same bed, with the parents in the first six to twelve months of life is protective. This is thought to be because parents can see the baby and easily check to see that baby is safe. This protective effect does not work if the baby is in the room with other children probably because the children do not know if an infant is safe or not.
Never sleep baby on a soft mattress, couch beanbag, or waterbed with or without a parent as there is a very high risk of a sleep accident.
I would tell that woman to learn the SIDS guidelines instead of misquoting them.
We have co slept with all of ours, I wouldn't have it any other way. My older 4 are all in their own beds and have always slept through the night, sure we have had nights where baby has fed all night but that just goes with their growth spurts. Baby no. 5 is currently sleeping with DH and I and he also sleeps 8 hours at night. I have a crib next to the bed but he hasn't slept in it at night yet. Miss 3 is the only one to still come in at night for a cuddle, but even those a few and far between these days (sniff, sniff)
I co-slept with my first, but after dh and i got together we made the decision not to, only as DH rolls around alot, and because we watched his sister rock her first to sleep, and co sleep... now her child is nearly 4, and wont go to his own bed at all, and insists to be cuddled to sleep. She now has 2, (dont know when they were able to get time alone to conceive!) and never has time to spend with #2 as #1 is very clingy all the time.
My ds starts the night in his cot, but ends up in my with me bed at some stage through the night. I find if he sleeps with me all night, he doesnt seem to sleep very well, feeds more than hourly and is grizzly and tired in the mornings. If I have him in his own bed til about 2ish, then bring him in with me when he wakes, he will only have a couple of feeds overnight, and wakes up much happier. He sleeps in his cot during the day. He had a bassinette when he was first born that he would sleep in occasionally, but most slept in my arms in the day, or in my bed, and was with me all night. My dd never slept with me, and life was so much harder with her when she was a baby. Co sleeping is soooo much easier on everyone. If I could go back, I would have dd in with me too, I never got that new baby exhaustion with ds that I had with dd, and I had a husband to help me out back then and no other kids to look after!!!! If Im lucky enough to have more babies, they will all sleep with me.
We tried a few different combos earlier on, but now what works for us is this:
We have our mattress on the floor with our son's cot mattress on the floor next to us. He has day naps on our mattress. He starts night sleeps on his mattress, then when he wakes he comes up onto our mattress.
Re the Sids recommendation> I've done some research and tha actual statistics on baby deaths reveal that co-sleeping is MUCH safer - so I get really angry that sids and kids recommends a cot. They don't actually have any good reason or evidence to show WHY they recommend this. The trouble with stats is that they record co-sleeping in a variety of situations, eg on a couch/beanbag etc, which just isn;t safe. When SAFELY co-sleeping, there are only a handful of SIDS cases at most; and 'accidents' are just as rare.
Basically you make sure that the mattress is firm, baby can't be suffocated by bedding/pillows, or get trapped anywhere. Also you shouldn't co-sleep if your or your partner smoke, are drunk or affected by drugs......
We co-sleep because we like the bonding, it feels natural, we don;t have to get up in the night, and we believe its quite safe to do so.