Honestly never thought I'd be here... again..

I was so confident. It was meant to be. The universe was smiling on me.





But here I am again. We lost our angel this week. An ultrasound showed a beautiful baby, without a heartbeat. 8w4d...

I've opted to wait to see if my body will pass baby naturally. I'm also booked in for a D&C on Wednesday.

My questions.
If you decided to go naturally. How long did it take?

If you decided to have a D&C, did it hurt?
Is it the type of procedure you need your hubby with aswell? Or can you go it alone?
How long did it take?

Thank you ladies.
xo

I'm so sorry :hug:

D&C wasn't too painful, not much more than a period. I didn't have the option to wait, so I don't know. The worst pain was in my heart when I woke up from the GA.

Sending you lots of love :hug:

Sending more love via a double post :hug: :hug:

Oh god Audax... I know that pain in your heart you're talking about :cry:

:hug: I'm so sorry :hug:

:( Im so sorry babe :hug: I have had a D&C at 12 weeks and it didn't hurt at all. I felt fine the next day, but you can't drive because you go under a general, so it is better to have someone there. The hossy gave me mitaprostol the day before my procedure to take the morning of (to ripen the cervix). It was the most horrible painful experience of my life, worse than labour IMO.
It's totally up to you what your comfortable with hun, im so sorry you have to make this horrible choice in the first place :hug:
Lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I had mine at 13 wks I guess - bub was 6 wks but I had it 7 wks after bub died, as I was still bleeding. Apart from the whole 'no driving' thing, I really wouldn't recommend waking up alone after a D&C. I don't think I've ever felt so empty or alone as I did when I woke up from the anaesthetic, I was glad to have Professor there. Beyond glad really. Ahh, I'm welling up now remembering it. Audax put it well :cry:

So many hugs coming your way sweetheart, I definitely think D&C's are the hardest part, as if it wasn't crappy already :grouphug:

I've had a couple at the 8wk mark. One D&C the other naturally, personally I won't be having a D&C again if I can avoid it. I really don't like them but I know others prefer them because there's no "waiting around".

The bleeding in both cases was more like a heavy period, but naturally there are some differences, I don't want to upset anyone if you want details on going through it at home and what to expect instead of going with the D&C feel free to pm me and I'll let you know how it went from my experiences.

I'm so sorry for your loss :hug:

Thank you so much ladies. I'm really appreciating everyone taking the time to reply. It is definitely helping.

I'm worried about the D&C, honestly DH will have to look after our two kids, so I just can't imagine them all waiting around the hospital with me... So it will be very lonely indeed. My eyes welled up in your post Keike... I can only imagine... And then to lie there in that bed, trying to hold it all together. It was so hard trying to hold it together on Friday, when I heard those words.. "I'm sorry... there is no heartbeat" - again, I was alone, as I just couldn't let my kids be there. They're kids. Noisy kids. Not a place for them. So DH looked after them while I went. Then I sat in the ER, alone... it was horrible.

toomanyshoes. My last miscarriage my body passed naturally, so yes.. I know those not so nice bits and pieces :( It really is horrible isn't it? Horrible either way.. I imagine.

I just... I really can not believe I am here. I just can't believe it...

I am still suffering morning sickness... my uterus still feels bloated... i still feel pregnant. I just wish this was all a horrible dream :cry:

I just had my last miscarriage in Feb. 2011 bub was 9.5 weeks and no longer had a HB after having great HB readings at 4+, 6+ and 8+ weeks then came the day when I was 9.5weeks and after having a gall stone attack they took me in for an ultra sound of both bub and my gall bladder thats when they found bub no longer had a heart beat. I have never cried so hard as I did this day and for many many weeks to follow. It then took another approx. 2 weeks before I started bleeding and then passing my baby whom I sent off to be tested hoping to get an answer to what and where it all went wrong on me. I never had a D&C with any of miscarriages they have all been natural losses. The last being the hardest of all for me.
I am so so sorry for your loss hun and sending you a tonne of love and emotional support not one of us should ever have to go through a loss at any stage of our pregnancies.
Hugs to you darl you are in my thoughts.
xox

Personally thats a reason I don't really want D&C's anymore, just incase. It's probably naive though.

We have kids as well so DH wasn't able to be there when I woke up, the nurses were lovely though. After I woke up I was there for a little bit then moved to another room where other day patients were, had something to eat and DH picked me up soon after that.

Huge massive gigantic :hug:

Really wish no one had to go through m/c's

I forgot to say mine always seem to happen really fast, within a day or 2 of there being no heart beat the process tends to start.

Thank you Clairesmummy :hug: Did they ever find a reason for it?

You're right, no woman should have to go through this...

2 weeks before you started bleeding.. was it hard not knowing when it would happen??
I remember with my last loss, it was kind of like... BAM. Pain. Extremely heavy bleeding. I put a pad on, and within a minute it was full and blood was dribbling down my legs. I guess I'm worried this will happen again, while I'm out and about ?? I just dont know..

toomanyshoes.. not naive. Deep down I still have hope. I know its silly..... I saw for myself.. but I just can't help it. x

TT No reason has been found to date why I lost my last bub, which is horrible as I feel like I lost my baby for nothing and for no good reason but then it's also a good thing as I don't think I would cope well if it was something that is not fixable IYKWIM. I have my first OB/GYN appointment this Thursday to sort out what is going wrong with us, that was my 3rd MC and we have now been TTC for 3 years with no luck at all. I was on Clomid with my last pregnancy, which worked great as it was the first time I had been on it. It was hard not knowing when the bleeding was going to begin but also in saying that I never bled as heavily with this loss as I did with my first loss. The first loss I experienced was by the sounds of it identical to yours darl lots of bleeding and soaking pads with in minutes. My last loss however was just like AF starting no overly heavy bleeding just last alot longer than the first. The worst past of this loss for me was the morning I passed bub, sorry if this is graphic hun. I was awoken at 4am by huge cramps, very much like the early onset of labour pains no matter what I did or what I took I could not ease the cramps but then at about 8am when I stood up from sitting at the table with DD I felt like a pop inside me then gushed with watery liquid raced off to the loo and I had passed bub, again I was devastated and crying uncontrollably again. But I needed answers as to why so I had to take my baby into my GP and send him/her off to be tested.
Now I have had to many blood tests to count and hormone levels checked and they are all coming back saying that there is nothing wrong with me, which is driving me insane but I am still holding onto a small ray of hope in my new OB/GYN that he will get us our very sticky little bub to take home with us.
Darl I wish I could make it all better for you and please know that if you need to talk please feel free to PM. I made a very good friend on BB through my last loss and with out her I would not of got through it all. If I can help anybody else like she has helped me it would be wonderful. It made a huge difference to me to be able to chat to someone who knew exactly what I was going through at the time.
Take care of you hun and please know we are all here to support you along the way and to try and help ease the pain you are feeling right now.
Hugs to you and your family darl.

Tellytubby, I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your baby. Huge hugs to you & your partner.

With all my m/c I decided to go natural. All but one were like a heavy period & lasted no more than 1 week. One m/c I had lasted for nearly two weeks, but I was advised not to have a D&C and to let my body do the 'work'.

Tellytubby :hug: :( I am so so sorry this is happening. It's so hard to hold it together, i can honestly say i didn't, i lost it in the u/s room and couldn't have gotten through without my DF. You are so brave. It's ok to not be ok though hun, you just lost your baby.....

It's not stupid to have hope, it's such a horrific thing to try to comprehend....i remember asking for another scan because i couldn't wrap my head around it and i was convinced a mistake had been made because they had the screen turned away from my DH and I (i didn't see this scan at all).

If you want to go naturally, do that hun, it's your body and your angel baby. It's a huge slap in the face that you still feel sick and pg :(

Huge :hug: and i am thinking of you xxxxxxxxxxx

Telly, you know I am right here with you, holding your hand as you are mine. :hug:.

I know the sadness and the shock you are feeling. My DH was with me this time when they told me there was no heartbeat this time. However I was by myself when I found out about the last one. I could barely drive home because my eyes were so full of tears and my heart was so sore. Im so sorry you had to find out when you were alone. I know difficult that is.:hug:

My D&C in Jan was not painful during or straight after the procedure, however for the next 2 days after the procedure I had severe cramping, similar to labour, but this was because it was a missed m/c and my uterus had not contracted prior to the procedure. Emotionally I was a wreck. It was the worst day of my life. I'll never forget the emptiness I felt when I awoke. I felt like my baby was gone and I didnt get to say goodbye the way I wanted.

Im sorry you have travelled this road before. It is so hard, I thought I could never hurt more than I did in Jan but I didnt expect this. I know you didn't either.

Forgot to mention that I know what mean about hope. I saw the u/s screen too, but I keep hoping they will find a heartbeat at my next scan, which is rediculous because there was no h/b at 9.5 weeks, so how could there be one now?

I think the m/s and bloating continuing is just so cruel!

:( I'm so sorry darl :hug:

To answer your question, when I lost my bub earlier this year I opted to go naturally. My experience is a bit different as I 'knew' for about 3 weeks that things weren't going to progress, in that time my HCG levels were still increasing. So I know that hope that you're feeling :hug: Once I actually started bleeding it went on for about 10 days after which I had an ultrasound that showed nothing left. From memory the first 5 days were the hardest physically.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

TT: big :hug: for you, i have had 3 miscarriages and they have all been natural (2 very early and one at 9 weeks), i never really had to wait long until the bleeding started (the 9 week one was small for dates on ultrasound and i started bleeding a week later) so im not sure what i would do if i had to wait weeks for the bleeding to start....

sorry you are having to go through this

TT: big :hug: for you, i have had 3 miscarriages and they have all been natural (2 very early and one at 9 weeks), i never really had to wait long until the bleeding started (the 9 week one was small for dates on ultrasound and i started bleeding a week later) so im not sure what i would do if i had to wait weeks for the bleeding to start....

sorry you are having to go through this

telly darling, you know how much i love you. you were there for me i hope i can be for you

My loss was called a missed miscarriage. measured small for dates at first ultrasound, then second ultrasound nothing more to see. i knew then. I had some spotting but it was old blood. had hormone testing and showed no increase then last one was lower than the previous. I didn't want a d&c but dr was keen as bub measured 5 weeks but my dates were 10 weeks. they were worried about me bleeding out and possible infection. I think my body was scared and started naturally. i spoke to dr thursday about levels dropping and that the pregnancy was no longer viable and i lost baby saturday. my bleeding was over the next friday. unfortunately i think i lose babies as well as i deliver them.

I hope you find some answers and i definately see the hope that you see x

love you with all my heart

x madame x

Im so very sorry for your loss xxx

I'm so sorry TT :hug:

I hope you can take the time you need to process all this. Be kind to yourself.

:comfort:

I'm sorry hun. Wish it was different :hug:

I've had both a natural and d&c. The d&c wasn't painful, it was over and done with quickly, and my body went into the normal cycle mode for me pretty fast. The natural one, well I feel like I'm still travelling it. M/C was end of April, and things are still all over the place for me. I had 10 days of bleeding for the m/c, then an 11 day AF and this time around, she's 4 days early. I just want my normal back. If it happened again, I'd probably request a d&c.

Hugs hunny. Thinking of you.

I'm so very sorry :hug: I choose a D&C as I simply couldn't wait..... I was lucky there was no physical pain..... but very glad I had DH with me just before I went in and as soon as I was out of recovery.

Thinking of you :hug:

oh Tellytubby, i am so sorry to hear of your news. I wish you well, whatever you decide to do (naturally or DnC way).

for anyone, that was mentioning, finding out reasons behind miscarriages, i will share a story, JIC it might help someone, sometime. i met a woman who had five pregnances, miscarry, five in a row.

it turned out, that her husband's sperm, made her miscarry each time (rare but it happens). So the sixth pregnancy, they used condoms during pregnant sex, and her sixth pregnancy carried to term successfully. Despite all those miscarriages, her husband would not agree to no sex during any of the pregnancies.

Hi tellytubby- Just popping in to see how your going xxxxx

Ahhh, great minds think alike Yas :) Gentle cuddles for everyone, this is a pain that no woman should ever have to know :grouphug:

So sorry to hear of your loss.

D&C's arent too painful and dont take long either. You just feel a bit crampy after and its much like your period.

I do think its something you need DH there for, not only physically but emotionally. They wont let you drive yourself home after either, because of the anesthetic.

Thinking of you xxx

Hey ladies..
I'm still here. Just kind of been avoiding this whole thing. Wishing it was a bad dream I guess.
Tomorrow is my D&C day. I'm still so undecided. I just can not stop hoping that they were wrong..
I don't think I"m going to do it..

I've begun very light bleeding. Nothing really unusual for me (I've bled with all of my pregnancies, including the healthy ones). But when I do a wee, I look in the bowl and there are a few floaties. Kind of like bits of tissue or something.. strange really (not clots or discharge). Last night I was washing up and I felt blood, so raced to the toilet, thinking it was about to begin. A kind of squirt of blood came out. Then completely stopped, and then nothing for the rest of the night (and half of today). I just don't understand why its not getting heavy. Its been super light now for days. I mean.. super light.

Its suppose to be 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Why are my odds 1 in 2. This is so effed.

Then a friend of mine who is pregnant, due a couple of days after my EDD, started talking pregnancy today. I felt so bad... I just had no happiness for her. I feel like a ****ty friend. I don't want to feel uncomfortable or awkward.. I dont want her to NOT share her journey with me. I'm angry at myself.

Vent over. Thank you for listening. x

lots of hugs to you TT im so sorry for you loss..your not a ****ty friend at all and if you friends was any friends i think she would understand you not being excited for her.. i think every M/C is diff i started bleeding at around 7 weeks and had my d/c at 9 weeks my body just wouldnt get rid of it.. i had a fair bit of pain with the m/c but nothing after the d/c not even any bleeding
Once again im so sorry bubs couldnt stay xoxox

thinking of you today. :hug:

Thinking of you today also :hug:

TT~ Just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts today darl. Sending you some massive cyber hugs.

Big hugs. :hug: :hug:

I just want to send you big hugs. Im in the same boat as you, my miscarriage stats are 1 in 2 instead of 1 in 4. If you havent already, and if you feel you want to TTC again, I would highly recommend getting testing done. I did so after my 5th miscarriage and came to find I have a clotting disorder. I now have a plan of attack in place when I feel ready to TTC again. It raises my odds back to the 1 in 4 like normal women.

I would def try and go for the d&c. Ive had 4 d&c's and one natural loss and my natural loss was the hardest physically and mentally because it took forever. You are well within your right to ask them for a final scan just before surgery, and most of the hospitals Ive been to have done this. Just for your peace of mind :hug:

TT - thinking of you today. I hope your DH is able to be there to support you and someone else could look after the kids. I've had a natural m/c and while the advantage is that they say you can start trying straight away, I did go through a mini-labour type thing and wound up in the ED with blood loss. It was not a pleasant experience by any stretch of the imagination. But as many have said - I don't think it matters how it happens, it is always an awful experience and something no one should have to go through.

Your friend will understand. We m/c around the time two of my friends found out they were pregnant - and the same night another friend announced their pregnancy. I was happy for all of them but felt left out, sad and angry all at the same time as being happy. I still count down to my EDD (5 Aug 2011), even though I have another healthy little soul on board. It's a pain that will never go away - and my practical DH doesn't quite get that.

All the love in the world to you. :hug: Thinking of you today. I send you healing for your body and your heart.

Wannabemum... my first angels EDD was the 5th of August too....

I had the D&C ladies. I just couldn't continue on.. constantly waiting. It was pretty horrible. I went in, so so scared. I cried, and cried. The anesthesist had to keep wiping my tears for me ..

Thinking about it a lot tonight. So worried I made the wrong decision.



I can't believe my baby is gone :cry:

:hug: thinking of you as you heal