So tell me your story...

With DD I wanted so badly to bf I didn't even buy bottles when she was born. I got a huge slap in the face when the nurses in the hospital gave her a pacifier and a bottle behind my back while she was recieving her PKU test. She was underweight and they were freaking out about it. Obviously this hospital was not bf friendly. When they brought her back in they tried to act like they forgot I specifically said to not giver her a bottle or pacifier. Instantly she hated the breast. and why not? She got milk easier and faster through the bottle nipple. It devastated me to no end. I tried everything that the lactation consultant told me to do. We had skin to skin contact all day and the moment I brought her to the breast she would scream bloody murder. Did I forget to mention that after I gave birth to her the stupid nurse shoved her on my breast violently and it freaked her out. So on top of it she was scared of the breast. Nothing was working. So I exclusively EBM for a month and half. After that time I was so depressed I couldnt bf that I gave up...which I still regret to this day.

So now that I am pregnant I want to be educated on all of it. I am switching hospitals to a more bf friendly one. I really want to bf! I have a great supply for it. I have decided that if worst comes to worse I will still exclusively EBM for as long as I can, but in the mean time tell me your story! Tell me how you initiated bf and if you have any tips you can give me in the first few moments following birth to make bf easier.

Hey hun. Firstly, I'm sorry that BF didn't turn out the way you'd hoped, but you should be proud of what you did achieve last time. This BFing caper is a hard gig, it definitely may be natural but it certainly isn't always easy! I hope this post makes sense, 4am and a little frazzled lol (just finished feeding in fact!)

I think one of the most important things you can do is make sure your birthing venue is BF friendly. Your post-natal care needs to include informed, consistent BF advice that's good for you and your baby. I also can't recommend getting a doula strongly enough. Most people think of doula's as birth support only, bit a good, experienced doula will also provide good care and guidance post-natally. Worth their weight in gold IMO! I'm on my phone so can't see where you are, but if you're in Melbourne I can pm you some recommendations.

Obviously things like a straightforward, natural labour and birth will help establish a good BFing relationship...but birth doesn't always follow our schedules and ideas :lol: How was your last birth? Getting informed and prepared for that will help, as well as boost your confidence. Similarly for boosting confidence, is read read and read about BF. Become an ABA member. Read their book. Read lots of BF threads here on BB.

Skin to skin straight after the birth! DD was very crackley in her chest when she was born, so she was given a quick (but gentle) look over by the midwife shortly after she was born. I'd cuddled her to my chest when she was born, but her first real skin to skin was with her daddy while I jumped in bed. We asked that all the routine stuff be put on hold until later, as most of the time that sort of stuff isn't essential...weighing etc can happen later. Also, if it doesn't gross you out, don't have your baby wiped down, have all that lovely gooey goodness stay on her and you. Small things like that often get overlooked but are important factors.

For me, BF went great in hospital. I was only there from when I had her (3.30am) until about 7pm the same day. I got a lot of conflicting advice from the midwives, I found following the advice of just one person (my doula) and following my instincts worked best. Unfortunately when I went home, things started to decline, as DD couldn't attach. I started by hand expressing into a spoon and feeding her that way, then hand expressing into a cup and cup feeding her. Cup feeding is preferable to feeding with a normal bottle teat, from what I understand, but still not ideal, as although bubs is not getting any confusion about the nipple, they're still learning that they can get food instantly and in large amounts without the effort of sucking for letdown. Eventually we moved on to a pump and expressed exclusively for a week, and cup fed her. After that, our doula brought over some nipple shields, and a new (and expensive, $25 for a bottle!!) bottle by Medela, which has a special teat that mimics a boob, in the way that the baby really has to suck to her a 'letdown' into a little reservoir, and has to continue to suck to get milk, so no dripping or flowing like normal bottles. These were both lifesavers. Now, at 4 weeks, I'm no longer expressing or using the bottle (we did when I was expressing lots and DH would take turns feeding her when I was tired), and just BF with the nipple shields. She still doesn't take my boob really without them, so this is where we are sitting at the moment. It's currently working well for us :)

Sorry about the novel, and I wish you all the best with BFing :) I never realised what a struggle it can be, but it's so worth it!

Thanks PZ that was a big help. Unfortunately I am from America, but if you know a good doula over here...:)
I had a hospital birth as well with an epidural. I dont regret that epidural because without it I probably would have had a c-section because I couldnt calm down. Though, somedays I wish I had the strength to do it naturally.
This time I will make them wait to do all the weighing stuff so I can bf first...good idea!

Glad your bf'ing is working out for you now...:)

Oh yeah, no I don't know of anyone in the States lol!!

Hey, natural birth is so not about strength! Like I said, we can have the best intentions in birth, but sometimes our bodies will just have other plans. I'm glad you don't regret your epi...don't have regrets! :) I'm sure TeniBear won't mind we mentioning, but she too had an epi that saved her from a csection. Sometimes the body just gets exhausted, and the break the epi gives can mean the difference between progression and surgery IMO. I'll be following your journey, and here for support when bubs is born :) Let BB be your village, so many people here have been there, done that :)

Thanks! Yeah my anxiety was so high from my water breaking that I stayed at a 1cm for 9 hours. It didnt help that my stupid dr kept checking up on me and saying things like..."you only get 16 hours and than we are giving you a c-section" ...So I finally caved and had an epidural and with 45 minutes my body went from 1cm to 10cm and I pushed for 5 minutes and she was out. Though, the downfall to an epi is that afterwards you and your baby are so groggy. Strangly enough, she took to the breast immediately after. Probably would have been a great bf'er if those dumb nurses didn't screw it up.

Yeah BB was here for me when I made the painful decision to stop EBM...it was hard but nice to have the support. Looking forward to the same with this bub

Hun I have posted a link in the EE thread to Belfies story, it is a great thread. Will post it here for others
Breastfeeding plan

:

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Oh yeah, no I don't know of anyone in the States lol!!

Hey, natural birth is so not about strength! Like I said, we can have the best intentions in birth, but sometimes our bodies will just have other plans. I'm glad you don't regret your epi...don't have regrets! :) I'm sure TeniBear won't mind we mentioning, but she too had an epi that saved her from a csection. Sometimes the body just gets exhausted, and the break the epi gives can mean the difference between progression and surgery IMO. I'll be following your journey, and here for support when bubs is born :) Let BB be your village, so many people here have been there, done that :)

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^Yeah, that.^

I can't really add much, PZ's given you such great advice (she was my doula, before she even had Isla!) so I'll just back her up. Immediate skin to skin is great - even if you pass out from still being drugged up :rolleyes: - and learning to feed laying down (if you're going to bedshare) was my godsend. Even now, a great deal of Amelia's feeds are done laying down - it's so easy to feed her to sleep that way, I just let her go until she drops off and don't have to worry about moving her to a cot :lol:


PZ - When I first read that post, I thought it said "we" had an epidural :lol: I really don't recall you having to bend over a pills while someone put a needle in your back as well, but if that's how you remember it... ;)

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WHen i was pregnant with my dd i attended a class on breastfeeding run through the hospital. Many breastfeeding organisations (la leche, ABA, ) also run classes. I joined the ABA, and read the book that they sent out (Breastfeeding naturally) 3 or 4 times. I birthed in hospital, and when bub was born she came straight to my tummy/chest where she was rubbed down (she needed a little stimulation). We had skin to skin for about an hour, and during this time she did the breast crawl and had her first couple of feeds. Awesome- check out Australian Breastfeeding Association - Baby-led attachment (there are videos on you tube too).

I was quite weak after the birth and unable to carry bub or walk more than a few steps, so i learnt how to feed lying down early on. I was fortunate that i had a big bed that could move up and down and raise the head by remote control. I would lift my bed up to the height of baby's cot and then i could transfer her across to my bed. I kept bub with me at all times. thankfully, she let me sleep a bit the first night. I had my book "breastfeeding naturally' on the table/bed and if i wasn't comfortable with the midwife, i would wave it around and say we were going fine. like you, i don't think that shoving baby and boob together is the start of a good relationship.

On the 3rd night, it was tough. i was very tired, bub was unsettled and wanting non-stop feeding and we were both waiting for my milk to come in. A horrible midwife was on that night who told me 'i was starving my baby' when i asked her if it was normal. she said that she had paperwork to do but if i could hold out, she would be back later and would take bub to give me a break. When she came back, i said we were fine and bub would stay with me. I didn't want her to take bub in the first place, i just wanted a second opinion to see if everything was ok, but even more so i couldn't trust that she wouldn't give her formula or just let her cry so bub stayed with me. My only regret is that because we were so tired, i didn't watch how bub was attaching and i got a bit of nipple damage that night.

Bub stayed with me the whole time i was at the hospital. DH came in during the day and i had a nap a couple of times while he would hold bub. Here they do the PKU test with mum holding the baby. Tell them that is what you want- it's your baby, they shouldn't just take her away from you.

My bub had colic, and at 6 weeks we gave her a dummy. At 4 months, she spat it out and didn't want it again. Not having a dummy in the first few weeks helped to get breastfeeding working, cos she would suckle at the breast for comfort as well as food. Bub had low weight gains, but we worked around this by offering feeds more often even if they were only small ones.

Every baby is different, there are a number of women here who weren't able to breastfeed their first bub for very long but went on to breastfeed subsequent bubs for 12 months or more.

Getting informed, and having skin to skin early is great, but if it doesn't happen it's not the end of your journey. mums who have to be seperated from bubs can still go on to get breastfeeding established.

Just a quick one right now as I'm getting organised to take DD to daycare, but I will be back later to give you my story. When my first DD was born, it was a very traumatic birth and BFing never got properly established due to a few factors (each on their own may have been overcome, but put together it was a huge obstacle and I didn't know where to start), so I gave up expressing at 6 weeks and we never had a proper breastfeed. When DD2 was born, she was exclusively breastfed for just under 6 months with barely any hiccups - so there definitely is hope for you!! Gotta dash, but I'll be back later to edit and give you all the details I can, hopefully I can help out a little :) x

Thanks everyone! Lots of great advice

Hot1- I will look into abreasfeeding class and see if I can get a book from our breastfeeding organizations

Glamourcide- looking forward to your story

Yeah, for me I just really need to figure out good latch techniques, and how to stick up for myself against nurses who are weight hungry! Im with ya Hot1...my DD weighed 5 lbs and they kept freaking out about it. As for my supply I never had a real problem with that. I started leaking tons of breast milk at 5 months PG with DD and am already starying to leak breastmilk at 11 weeks this time. With DD I could pump 3 ounces at a time right off the bat...it just sucked that I couldnt figure out how to get DD to bf to get it.

Right... got a cuppa ready? here is our story...

When I was pregnant I always knew I wanted to bf cause I am a cheapskate and why wouldn't I want to do something for free :D. My sister had fed her youngest for 12 mnths so I knew it could be done. What I didn't know was that while bf is natural it is still a skill that needs to be learned by both you and the bub.

DS was born after 17hr of labour via emergency for failure to progress (I wasn't on BB then and didn't know any better but to trust my OB who advised the c-section - my mum believes there was no way I could have avoided a c/section due to DS's position but I will try different things next time) He was born at 9.24pm, he developed nasal flaring and they put him into a humidi-crib for the night. I got to touch him through the screen after midnight and the nurses came in and expressed me a couple of times. I am grateful for my lack of education because I trusted the midwifes knew what they were doing. They gave me a pethadine shot at 4amish (I never objected but never agreed).

I fed him properly for the first time the next day about 8amish and couldn't believe it as I didn't feel any pain, little did I know at the time that it was the pain relief. He slept a lot that next day.... went over 8 hrs without feeding, I didn't know any better and I think this contributed to my milk not coming in until day 5. I would let him feed constantly for an hour and then for my own sanity would make him wait an hour before putting him back on. I was lucky that the hospital never once mentioned formulae topup's even though DS did loose more then 10% of his body weight and they didn't let me leave until day 5 when he had regained a bit of weight. They were a bit understaffed so I think I fell through the cracks. I had trouble feeding him and most of the time in hospitals the nurses just shoved my nipples into his mouth. On the last day in there I had an older midwife who gave me some great tips.

At home DS was very unsettled (I think he had undiagnosed silent reflux but not bad enough that it was ever diagnosed) he never slept for very long and was always feeding. I remember in those early days I watched a few DVD's and in one a lady said she put her bub to the breast everytime he cried. I took this very seriously and did the same... not saying that is ideal but I think it helped us with attachment cause it meant that we practiced and practiced. At the time I put it down to his body getting use to processing food, it had never done that before, he had never experienced pooing and he didn't like it :D

I ended up from cracked nipples but I think that's cause we were falling asleep feeding at night we succesfuly used a nipple shield mostly at night and slowly weaned. I 2nd the laying down to feed, I wish this is something I did more of in the early days but our bed wasn't really big enough for us to co-sleep on, getting DS a king-single at 6 mnths meant we had somewhere to go. At this point I was desperate and on the edge, OH brought a tin of formulae but as I felt I had failed his birth I really had to succeed in feeding him and literally took it 1 feed at a time, there were many tears from all of us :D

It took us a good 3 mnths before we got the hang of it and even then when I thought we had a handle he would change.... I learned to follow him by this stage as I wasn't coping otherwise. One day he went from feeding for an hour at a time to just a few minutes.... I didn't care if he was feeding every 2/3 hrs 24/7 it was better then feeding for an hour every 3/4 hrs 24/7 lol

We went onto feed until DS was 33 mnths old... I never dreamed that we would have fed for that long and if it wasn't for BB and other research into the benefits I doubt I would have fed for that long.



ok have rambled enough now... goodluck with your journey

If you had a fast let-down (which is common in the early weeks), maybe the flow was too much for bub? There are things you can do to help this, there are solutions to most issues, it's just having somewhere to get ideas when you need them.

I found reading the threads in the breastfeeding section helpful cos it gave me an idea of problems that can come up and how to prevent them or fix them before they become big issues.

I've been wondering, due to the effects of tv and movies (and because dh is American but can't answer my question), is rooming in routine in the usa, or do babies stay in a nursery like in the 1950s?

If you have a choice, insist your baby stay in your hospital room with you so you can demand feed.

I changed hospitals this time to a baby-friendly hospital (see UNICEF). They provided great, consistent advice for breast feeding.

I struggled to breast feed my son after terrible advice at hospital the first time, we lasted 5 months, but there was a lot of screaming and fighting and topping up with formula from 6 weeks on following a very early case of mastitis when my milk came in. I introduced a bottle of expressed milk because my nipple was too huge for my 2.5kg baby's mouth. Big mistake.

This time I am determined, no bottles, no expressing to feed, no dummies (I have to keep arguing with dh about this), but most importantly for me is dropping all social obligations so I can stay home, relax and feed on demand.

My baby is 4 weeks old, my supply is good and this time is already so different. I just came down with mastitis, which apparently I'm prone to because she attaches fine and my nipples aren't sore at all, but I'm not stressing about it. I got antibiotics and I'm still not expressing.

I did learn how to hand express for comfort, which is quite fun actually and doesn't make me feel like a factory cow.

It seems like you did all the right things the first time, how the hell could you know the nurses would do what they did? I like the sign Belfie put on the baby's crib in hospital, that's genius.

Good luck, I hope we all can make it this time.

Sent from my Desire HD

I was determined to BF Jacob, I attended BFing classes at the local hospital/health centre, I trawled through BB for information, things that could go wrong, obstacles that could come up, I read articles from the ABA.
But nothing prepared me for the cs I ended up having.
In the end it didnt really affect DS's BFing but I was scared it would.
He attatched really well the first feed, but then everyone left me alone in a room with my baby in a plastic crib, I culdnt get out of bed, I couldnt lift him even if I could have. I had t buzz a nurse to get him for me. (he was born just after midnight, my partner and parents left around 2-3am) I woke the first morning, groggy, in pain, at about 6am, nurse came in for obs and said she would be back so I could feed and have breakfast, she never came back...
I buzzed at around 7am, DS was mewling, about an hour later I was freaking out when finally another nurse came in and I asked her to get DS for me, I was confused and very out of it so asked for some help to attach him, she violently SHOVED my nipple in DS's face and he latched on YOWCH!! Man, that hurt! I waved her away and "yep, all good, I got it from here.." she left...I fed him as best I could, then fell asleep with him on my chest, to be woken rather nastily by another nurse telling me off for not putting him back in the crib! (umm yeah, I cant walk!!)
anyway...I never asked for help again, I copped criticism form my mum and various others during my 5 day stay in hospital but honestly the thing that worked best for me was just perseverance, I would put him on, if it hurt, I took him off, tried again, and again, and again, etc...eventually we got it right :)
My milk took a while t come in, I was bleeding internally and it wasnt picked up till I was nearly incoherent and passing out, the nurses kept asking me if my milk had come in yet (as in at least 3x a day) I would just smile and nod, yep I think so! but I know it hadnt, I'm pretty sure it didnt until the day I left hospital (after a blood transfusion and iron supps etc). Also DS had jaundice and was borderline having to go under lights (ended up not needing it) but he was very sleepy, I'm sure all the painkillers I was on didnt help much either. I would wake him every 2 hrs or so and put him on.
OK, so my story is not like the others, I didnt have HUGE obstacles to hinder my Bfing, BUT any of those things could have been enough for me (had I not been as educated and determined as I was) to give up.
I am fortunate enough to say that since those first few horrific days, we have never really encountered any problems, I am still feeding now! I have never had mastitis, grazed nipples, or pain of any sort.

I wish you a fantastic pregnancy and hope that BFing this time around happens for you.

The things I tell my friends when they ask: if it doesnt feel right, it probably isnt, take the baby off, try again, as many times as you need/have to. Don't get caught up with having a routine early on, feed, often, with DS, I fed him every time he made a noise, every time he woke, every time he was sleepy, all the time!
Sorry that was so long, god luck!

Kuriaza- I liked Belfie's sign too..Im actually considering copying her already lol. As for our hospital's they have both nursery and baby sleeping your room. But, they give you a decision. I chose to have DD with me the whole time. and usually they only let you have the baby in the nursery for the first night so you can get some rest. I felt I learned a lot prior but I am still kicking myself for missing my bf class I had signed up for.

Hot1- I had wondered that as well. I generally have small breasts. I was an A/B before I got pregnant and when my milk came in I was at a D...:) It was nice for awhile lol

Kelebek- I also have a smaller bed. Though, I found these bassinets that connect to the side of your bed so it is like co-sleeping. Think I will try that this time.

Starrysky- It sounds like you had some crappy nurses as well. I guess it doesnt matter what country your in lol...My nurses complained about having to come check on me every 8 hours to give me a ibuprofen!!! Iwas in pain...excuse me for wanting some pain medication..

Though...(in defense of nurses) I have met some really nice nurses :)

For me, we had a very pro bf hospital. They were wonderful and didn't ever mention stopping even when I was having issues. It just wasn't an option. DD was born and she was skin to skin straight away without me asking (or even really understanding it at the time). They left us alone until they could see DD was starting to do the boob crawl, where the midwife showed us what to do. DD took to it straight away. The problem I had was my nipples cracked and bled quickly. I didn't know there were things you could get, and one midwife sent DH on a mission to buy a nipple cream to help seal them. If I had known about it, I would have been preparing them before DD came along. It got to the point they were so bad I had to express and DH had to catch the milk drops in a tiny syringe so we could try and get it into DD that way. The cream worked well and quickly, I learned that the football hold was best for us and we were on our way! We bf after that for 14 months. Good luck with it all!

**This is REALLY REALLY long! If you want to read it, grab a cuppa and some bickies, make sure the kids are asleep and go to the loo before you sit down, lol!** Exerpts taken from my Baby Buddies threads over time. Lily is now 4yrs old.

Breastfeeding Lily and those first few weeks….

Written between- 28/7/07- 22/9/2010

I actually can’t really remember my first feed with Lily, which I find so sad. It wasn’t directly after birth I know that much. I remember the nurse asking me if they could give her a bottle and me in my drugged out awake-too-long, lost-lots-of-blood stupor said yes she could, even though I didn’t want her to. I remember in hospital a lot of the midwives trying to help me but all giving me conflicting advice. I was very sick with having lost a lot of blood after birth, and quite shy of the midwives fiddling with my boobs when they were trying to help me feed Lil. Then I had a visit from the Lactation Consultant, who was a god send! She gave me a double pump to use to try to get my milk flowing, and also helped me with latching and the different positional holds for feeding. My milk came in about 6-7 days after birth, and Lily had slight jaundice and urates in her urine (can be a sign of being dehydrated in newborns) when she was about 3 or so days old, so I was formula feeding her a fair bit in hospital. Even now, 3 ½ yrs later I can remember those first few days with quite some detail.
Here are some excerpts from my Baby Buddies threads in those first few weeks:

28th Apr 07
We've had a few sleepless nights; she usually sleeps for at least three hours at a time, though usually four.
My main problem at the moment is Breast feeding. I had issues with my birth which I think has also caused issues with my b/f and I am lagging a little behind in that area. I am on medication to stimulate milk, but I think it is working too well and my boobs are engorged. Lily can't latch on properly because they're so hard, but when I express I can only get about 40ml from each side. I am also using breast shields as I can't get her to latch on properly and she's created big sores on my nipples, which in turn is causing blocked ducts. So now I'm worried about mastitis....oh the joys!

29th Apr 07
I have seen a LC and she is coming back tomorrow to see us. I have been told about Karitane day stays and they are just around the corner from me, so I will see how we go for today. The LC said she's a bit lazy and has a bad sucking action, though I think she's getting it slowly. Sometimes I think it is because Lily gets so agitated and seems so hungry she just gets cranky and can't latch on well- she scratches me and waves her arms about and arches her back. Once she's had half a feed and I change her nappy I can usually get her on ok and during this part I don't use the shields to try to toughen up my nipples. My boobs are less full today thankfully so she has been able to get on better and we had a whole feed without shields- wooohooo! I do have to take the meds until finished and come off slowly, or so the Dr. says, I have a few more days on them then I'm on my own. Luckily for me though she sleeps really well (knock on wood!) at night- for about 3 1/2hrs at a time so feeding isn't getting to me too much- I haven't cried over it for a few days now, LOL. Since I have kind of scabs on them, I think when they are healing they are getting blocked, I don't want to get mastitis after what I've been through with bf!

May 1st
We had a pretty bad night and day. Lily hardly slept and was really unsettled last night- I think I jinxed myself by saying how good a sleeper she was at night! She also only cat napped today and woke whenever I put her into her cradle. I tried feeding her to sleep and sleeping with her but even then she wouldn't sleep. We couldn't put her down or she'd cry and she was feeding every two hours.... Finally at about two this arvo, she fell asleep and she's STILL sleeping. I think I'll have to wake her to feed and try to get her to sleep for the most of night like she was before.

2nd
My DH has been home for the past few weeks but goes back to work on Friday. I'm a bit nervous! I have been on my own with her, but still, it will be 12+ hours of just her and me...without being able to call DH to come home. Oh well I have to get used to it!!
Well we had a great night again last night, thankfully Lily went back to sleep after her marathon sleep in the evening. I ended up having to wake her at 8pm for a feed because my boobs were so full, luckily she ate like a piggy! She was back in her usual 3-3 1/2 hour routine last night and slept until 7:30 this morning.
BF is still challenging for me and I really don't enjoy it at all, though I'm going to persevere for at least 6 weeks to see if it gets easier.
We're going to try going to mums again today. We'll see how we go. Last time Lily was really unsettled by the end of it and we had to come home. I was stressed out too with my niece (3) and nephew (6) attacking Lily every time she moved!


5th

We had a horrific day yesterday!!! Lily and I were on our own as DH went back to work and all Lily did all day was cry, she didn't sleep until 4:00pm and we'd had a dreadful night too. So I joined her after a while and cried all arvo with her! Poor DH didn't know what to do when he called . But we're back on track today thank god!!
Well, today ended up being a MUCH better day! We tried to go down the road as I had a few things I wanted to get, but Lily started screaming half way through my trip so all I got was a few things for her. I wanted to get some thank you cards, birthday cards for a few friends and some clothes for me, but I started to get flustered and she wouldn't settle unless I held her so I went home! We'll try again tomorrow, maybe DH can come... But overall a much better day, she's having a sleep now. I have managed to do washing, prepare dinner, do the washing up and even get dressed today, hehehe...unlike yesterday, I was in spewy pj's until DH came home yesterday...such a horrible day!
I have been giving Lil some top up feeds of formula which the nurse suggest I do, but I find that if Lily had formula that she has trouble pooing the next day. Plus I want to BF her, I don’t like giving her bottles!
I also think I may have been getting mastitis yesterday, as I skipped a feed the day before. I had a fever of 38.4 for most of the day even though I took paracetemol and sore boobs (more than usual!). I guess it was good she fed every two hours. It's gone now and I called the nurse who said it should be ok and to keep an eye on it and not to skip a feed!
It's amazing what a good sleep will do for you, or should I say what a lack of sleep will do for a perfectly normal person. I think that was partly my problem yesterday too. My DH gave up going to play soccer for me yesterday, which made me cry more because I felt guilty. He loves his soccer and rarely goes to play with friends. Then he stayed up until midnight so I could sleep for a few hours, even though he had to be up at 5:30am to go to work.

6th May 07
Well we had a great night last night. Lily slept from 10:30 ‘til 3:00, then from 4:00 til 7:00! I got to bed at 11pm so I got a great sleep too, as well as a snooze yesterday arvo, I might even have gotten too much sleep....is that possible with a newborn?!
DH is home today, he's on night shift tonight, so I'm hoping Lily has a repeat of last night with her sleep tonight.
It makes things so much easier with DH home. Even though he just burps her or snuggles with her, it's a relief not to have her on me the whole time. A friend asked me if I'm enjoying motherhood, and honestly, at the moment, I don't think I am. Not that I'm not enjoying it so much as just getting the hang of things I think. I mean I wouldn't change it, and once Lil and I sort each other out, I will enjoy it, but for now it is so tiring and draining.

8th
Well Lily and I are still trying to figure each other out. I think she's been trying to talk the past few days. She makes noises which don't lead into cries, it's very cute!
She's not sleeping much in the daytime either, but instead of catnapping, she screams and screams for hours, except when she’s feeding which is every 2 hrs in the day, until she’s so exhausted she goes to sleep for 5 hours, then we do it again in the night. I can't figure out why...and she won't take a dummy which is sooo frustrating



9th
Lily was pretty settled, but I was feeding her every 2 hours. She did have a huge sleep first off last night sleeping from 9:30 until 3:30!!! I couldn't believe the time when she woke me up. Then we were awake and feeding on and off for three hours... we went to mums and to the shops and she was even good then.
Lily just smiled at me and I think she meant to!!! She just did it again.... oh how cute!! She has a dimple in one cheek, lol!
She's been pretty good so far today too. She's sleeping now after trying to put her down about four times... she just doesn't like to sleep in her cradle in the day for some reason?! She's fine at night but in the day time....she doesn't sleep much aside from catnaps. Oh well, as long as she's good at night I can handle it!
She's been feeding less today too, thankfully! Yesterday it was every 2 hours until 10:30 last night when she finally went to bed for the night. Today she's feeding more like every 3 hours.
I'm still using breast shields on and off too. I'm trying to only use it for every second feed or for half a feed, to try to toughen up my nipples, but they just don't seem to be getting used to it! She's attaching properly since I've seen the LC, so I don't know why they're still sore, maybe its just the normal pain people get? Or I'm just a wuss...that might be more like it. They were pretty bad before though, being scabby and blistered really badly. They are better now really, and I'm lucky Lily is such a piggy and isn't fussed with using the shields or the bare nipple. Hopefully soon I can get rid of the shields.

10th

Lily has been difficult today, I really shouldn't say how great she is when she has good days, I seem to jinx myself and it's always when DH is at work for 12 hour+ shifts. All she did all day was feed and grizzle, literally. She was attached to me every 1 1/2- 2 hours for at least 40mins each time, usually 1hr, and would only sleep when feeding. Whenever I put her to bed she woke up 10 mins later.
Though one good thing is we managed to feed for a few feeds without the shields!! Wooohoo! Though when she detaches she just pulls off without letting the nipple go so she stretches it and squishes it between her gums and it HURTS!!! I don't know how to stop her doing it...
Thankfully she's finally asleep in her cradle for the first time all day and has been asleep for more than 1 hr at a time. I think I might even go sleep with her soon. She didn't sleep so well last night either and I had the weirdest dream which kept me awake, but which I now can't remember, LOL! So I'm pretty tired, hopefully tonight is better.

11th
Well we went to Parramatta today to get a mothers day pressie for mum and a few other things. It went pretty well. Lily slept for and hour or so then had a formula bottle after a bit of convincing and screaming. I think I will try to continue to give her a bottle once or twice a week, so that it is easier to wean (presuming she goes onto a bottle one day...)her or to leave her if we go out. It took DH a bit to get her to take it where before she'd take it no problems. She's such a booby baby now!!
I just read an article about thrush and think we may have it does anyone know the symptoms? I only read about getting shooting pains in the breast on attachment and from her sucking and afterwards, which I get. But they might be normal? Lily has a white tongue all the time which I thought could be normal too from my milk? But then it could be thrush...

13th
Happy Mothers Day to all of you new mummies!!! Hope you all have a great day.
Well we didn't have a great day, today was probably one of the worst days I've had. Lily was awake every two hours last night and then she was awake for a couple of hours in between last night too so not a good night for us. She has cried all day and has hardly slept at all, except when she's feeding when she'll sleep for about 30mins. Then I burp her and she won't go back to sleep. I spent the morning in tears. DH thankfully took her for a walk in the baby carrier for an hour so I could compose myself and have a bit of a sleep. She's still not asleep now. There are no times in the day where she's content; I can't put her down even when she's asleep. There has to be something wrong I think. I'm going to the Dr. tomorrow to see if we can figure out what's wrong. I think she might have reflux. She seems to have the symptoms to me.

19th May 07
I've had a difficult few days/week. Lily was becoming really difficult and I had no idea why. She was screaming all day and hardly sleeping at all. I was a mess and in tears almost all day, and was petrified I was getting post natal depression. DH was at his wits end too, having to work and look after Lil and I. When it came to him having to do 2 night shifts at work, I fell apart! So we went to the Dr. who suggested that I might not have enough milk for Lily and giving Lil a bit of a bottle again, which I did and she slept for 5hrs! So after more tears from me, mourning not having enough milk and for unwittingly starving my daughter, we are now breast feeding and bottle feeding again. I am looking at putting her solely on the bottle, because my boobs are still sore and she's starting to reject me anyway. She gets really frustrated when I put her on the boob and she doesn't latch well, probably because she's such a piggy and just wants the milk without having to do the work!!
I am sad to put her on the bottle on one hand, but on the other, bf has been such a tough thing for me to do, with my milk not coming in straight after her birth due to me being sick, then I had horrible blisters and sores from her not latching well, then blocked ducts, then oversupply due to the motilium I was on, to feeding her every hour...now this. It's just been one hassle after the other. I'm tired of worrying about feeding her- if I have enough, if she wants it, if she's on correctly. It's becoming too stressful for me. Though I keep putting off weaning her!
I stayed at mums for the past three nights while DH worked night shift and it has made such a difference. Dh has an arvo shift today, and we're back at home so we'll see how we go.
To those of you having trouble bf, I understand! And I take my hat off to those of you who are persevering despite your problems. It is so stressful to have a screaming baby at your breast and being unable to settle them. Or having them on your breast all day. I was crying every time I put her on because I was dreading it. Now it is so much more pleasurable, because I am at ease with giving her a bottle if she needs it.

21st May 07
As for me and Lil, well we're going along pretty nicely. She's still alot more settled than she was. Though she's still not sleeping well. A friend of mine who is a midwife came over yesterday and said that she’s not getting enough sleep. I will try to get her into some sort of rhythm this week. I know at this age they are pretty lax with 'routines' as such but at least we can start some rituals. We don't have any yet due to the hard times we had over the past few weeks. Now she's happier, we can start trying to get a routine going. She seems to be getting a cold though and she's really snuffly. I got some saline and a nose cleaner thingy (can't think of the name now...). My girlfriend also said that we do have thrush. I thought we did, but when I asked the Dr last week she said no! Though I had just fed her...but still you'd think she'd know!!
Our breast feeds have gone down to four a day for 10 mins each side now, so we are slowly getting there. Though today I have been feeding her for longer because she's a bit sick and she sleeps when she's on the boob! I also think that breast milk might help her get better too! And she just seems so eager to have it today which has been kind of nice since she's been rejecting me for the past few days.
I have seen an LC. I saw one in hospital, and then saw her a few times when I got out of hospital. She helped with the attachment issues, and got Lil feeding bare- nippled again, but then we got thrush (I now realise...) which caused my nipples to get sore again, so I started using the shields again... I was also on motilium for three weeks. It seemed to work for me for those few weeks but then I got oversupply and Lil wouldn't latch on even if I expressed and then a week or so later my supply seemed to really drop off. Lily was crying all day and I was a complete mess, crying along with her, by the time I went to the Dr, we were so sleep deprived and Lily had a hoarse voice from crying so much (it took me almost 2 weeks to get to the Dr- I didn't realise what was wrong...).
So bf has just been such a huge ordeal for me that I think it is kind of a psycological thing for me. I think it will be better for us if I just get her onto the bottle. I know that bf is best for her and I do feel a bit guilty for piking out on her, but I was just such a mess and I don't want to worry about if she getting enough if we went back to exclusive bf. I think it just all started off on the wrong foot for us and now I find it stressful.


22nd May 07
I can't help but feel a little guilty about weaning Lil. She’s only 5wks old. Although my girlfriend put it well the other day, saying 'Can you tell in the playground' -meaning can you tell who's been breast or bottle fed when they grow up? Which, of course you can't. But I still have it in the back of my mind the bf is better.
I have begun the routine thing today and so far so good, mind you the day is young! I hope I can get her into some sort of pattern. It would make life a bit easier. My house is a bomb site too and I haven't been anywhere! All I want to do when Lil is sleeping is relax, so I do.

23rd May 07
Well we have had a pretty good night. Lily and I were alone for the first time since my meltdown a week ago and we were fine. I was a bit nervous because she'd been very unsettled and sooky with her sniffles and she had been vomiting up half her feeds. I think because of the mucous going down her throat (yuck!). I've tried using the saline and aspirator to get it out but I can't get much, so she's very snuffly. So she's wanting to be fed every 2 1/2- 3 hrs and she wants more breast milk, she sticks her face between my boobs and rubs her face in there- it's very cute.
I have given Lily a bath and she played in front of the heater for a while- she loves to have her nappy off. We actually had a nice bath this time. She usually screams blue murder in the bath, especially when I get her out, but she didn't even cry then, just a few whimpers. She did sream when we were getting dressed though, she really hates it, especially taking things off over her head for some reason...??
We fell asleep on the lounge at about 6pm last night and I slept until 11. I put Lil to bed and she slept until 12:30! I fed her and we went back to bed until 4:30 then woke at 7:00 this morning, she had about 60ml from a bottle then slept again until 8:30. And now after a big feed she's sleeping again....WOOOHOO! I just hope we don't have an unsettled arvo as my DH is on night shift again tonight...

24th May 07
Well another good day for us, YAY!
Lily seems to have gotten into some sort of routine already....I thought it'd take us at least a week or so to do. She now wakes at about 7ish, has a small feed, has a bath and a play in the sun, sleeps from about 8-9:30ish has a big feed a bit of a play, sleeps 10:30-12:30 ish another feed small play, sleeps 2-4ish, a feed, small sleep 6-7ish, feed at about 8:30 sleeps 9-12:30, feed, sleeps til 4:30, feed, sleeps til 7 and that’s been our days for the past three days or so. I can't believe that she's gone from screaming all day to not sleeping all day to this! She's such a different baby, I'm so happy that she's settled and happy now. She actually plays and smiles now. I can leave her in the bouncer and she's happy. What a difference and a relief!
Seems that more people find bfing difficult and tiring than find it easy and natural. We are down to maybe three feeds (supplemented) a day now.

27th May 07
I left her with daddy yesterday for the first time and went shopping for about four hours. She didn't sleep properly all day, only having cat naps, even when I got home. (Daddy's not good at settling her or putting her to sleep, unless she falls asleep on him and then he falls asleep too!) and after little sleep all day, she didn't go to bed until 9:30 which is kind of late for her! Then she was up at 10:30 for 1 1/2hrs, then at 3:00 for 1 1/2 hrs, then at 5:00 for 2hrs then at 6:30. So needless to say (after being used to relatively good sleep!) I'm buggered. DH has taken her for a walk in the babybjorn carrier now, so I get a bit of time for myself. I might take her to mums later and try to get some sleep there!
It was good to get out of the house for a few hours yesterday, without Lily. It's the first time I've been anywhere without her. I missed her and by the time I got home it was like I had a craving for her, LOL! Daddy struggled a bit with her I think, it was his first time looking after her, but he will have to get used to her. I asked him to give her a bath, but when I got home, she was still in the same clothes...the first thing he said to me was 'she hasn't slept, here do you want a cuddle'! And handed her over, I had to laugh. At least now he has some understanding of how it feels to have her on you, even if it was just a few hours for him

28th May ‘07
Well we had a better night last night thank goodness! And Lily's sleeping now, even though we were up at 5:45! She seems to have bad wind too, I have been giving her gripe water and it seems to help. She hates it though and spits it out, you should see her face when she tastes it...priceless!
Lily is such a pig and is still feeding every 3- 3 1/2 hrs. Even having mostly formula! I thought she'd be a bit more content on the formula because it is heavier, but no....she's such a guts and is getting chubby!
Lil is a bit unpredictable at the moment and we are still getting to know each other. She seems to be more unsettled if I'm not around. Daddy really winds her up too. Even just hearing his voice does it to her. I have to tell him not to talk to her if I'm trying to settle her!

22/9/2010
After many weeks and months of combine feeding my gorgeous girl, Lily, we ended up putting her solely on formula when she was about 7ish months old. This is when I discovered I was pg with #2! I tried for a long time to get Lil off the bottle when she was about 12wks old, I went back onto motilium and went back to the Lactation Consultant. I really did want to bf my girl full time, but it wasn’t to be. We never managed to get the formula right down and she always had 1-2 bottles per day. I battled many demons and did what I could. But I did my best and in hindsight, I was brave and determined and now Lily is none the worse for any of it. She is a bright, funny, clever and loving 3 ½ yr old now.

Well, Cooper was an induced, medicated, hospital birth and we completely failed at BF'ing after 2 weeks. My mother (a midwife) was our saboteur who gave him his first bottle at 2 days old claiming he looked jaundiced and my milk wasn't in. After the second week of her getting up to him during the night with a bottle (her room she was staying in was next to his - ours was the other side of the house so she'd hear him, turn off his monitor and get a bottle) we finally threw in the towel.

Second baby and I was determined to do it. I still to this day hold very bitter feelings for not being stronger with Coops, but you learn.

We had Cary in a birth centre, skin to skin immediately, let her "breast crawl" at her pace, then latch and stay put til she was ready to drop off (1.5 hrs - little piggy).

At home DH moved into the spare room for the first 4 weeks so that I could co-sleep in peace and offer boob whenever Cary wanted it. This helped to establish our supply. That first month we used no dummies etc - it was all me.

Coops got "toy chests" to unpack whenever I needed to feed bubs, so that kept him amused and I am not sorry to say ABC Kids was an AWESOME babysitter LOL

Then we introduced a dummy at around 3 months to let her use it for comfort sucking - took a while to get her to take it - and once a sippy was introduced I found she was wanting more structured breastfeeds.

Nowadays she feeds twice per day, once at nap time and once at bed, although some days she'll ask for more.

So my advice is:

1) Never doubt yourself. You have the ability to feed your baby so don't let formula etc into the house if that's what you believe (and choose)
2) Never feel guilt. If you try and for some reason you can't or don't want to feed - then praise yourself for what you've done and move on happily (this is something I still work on til today xx)
3) Let baby take the lead and if something *seems* out of place, don't beat yourself up, get advice and move on. Let bub latch as much or as little as they like in the first weeks - you're both learning and you perfect this with practice

LASTLY

4) Just when you think you've found your groove, bub will switch things on you. Don't stress if previous 40 minute feeds become 10 minute feeds. Watch bub closely and take their lead. Overall if there are lots of wet and dirty nappies - then all is fine and if you are offering often enough then bub will take what's needed. Don't get hung up on mins feeding etc - and bugger off the charts. Trust your mummy gut

Enjoy my love!!

I was determined to BF and thought that any problem could be overcome. Hmmm :)

DD1 - tried for five days in the hospital. Huge problems attaching. Sometimes the midwife tried for 1.5 hours with barely any success. Lost a lot of weight. Hospital threatened not to discharge me unless I gave her bottles. Sent me home with instructions to try attaching, then express, then feed her the expressed milk. That took an hour and a half every feed. Tried attaching for a week at home. Still no luck. Crucified myself. Had no support (DH had gone back to work) and I could barely walk from pelvic instability. Something had to give. So went to expressing. Did that for 8 weeks. Tried to attach again at the seven week mark. Seemed very easy but I fell for the line that once they have bottles there's no going back so didn't try to resume BFing.

DD2 - Put my first experience with DD1 down to lack of experience and was once again determined to make it work. Exactly the same scenario. Couldn't attach, despite all the efforts of midwives. DD2 lost weight. Sent home with the same instructions. Saw an LC who just told me to "keep trying". Tried to attach eight times per day for three weeks. Still no luck. Crucified myself AGAIN which was ruining my enjoyment of being a mum. Doing the "trying to attach, express and feeding the expressed milk" was even harder second time around because I had DD1 to look after too. Stopped all efforts and went totally to bottle. Something in me made me try to attach again around the seven week mark (same as with DD1). Easy peasy. Did some research on the web. Figured out I just have REALLY large nipples and my babies just need to get bigger before it actually works. However, by that stage I had no milk. Decided to relactate. Expressed every hour for two weeks, took Motilium for supply and fed DD2 through a supply line. Got some supply back but not enough to totally BF but did that until DD2 was about six months old.

So my advice is that it's never too late.