My Baby is Gone

I lost my baby on 14 July. I was 6 weeks & 6 days pregnant.

I started bleeding on Saturday night. After a visit to emergency on Sunday morning I had a scan on Monday & my baby was alive. I got to see that little heart beating away.

After a heavy bleed on Thursday & another trip to the emergency room another scan was booked for Friday morning. This time I was empty.

I know that my body did what it was supposed to do, that something wasn't right with the baby so it had to go, but it doesn't make it any easier. It doesn't make it any easier tht I have two beautiful little girls at home. I had already had hopes & dreams for this little one. I had already seen my girlsplaying with them - helping with nappy changes baths. I'd already seen myself getting cranky at them when they wake the baby. And now it's all gone.

I have to wait until Monday to see a doctor at the Early Pregnancy Clinic(it's a bit cruel that I have to go there) to see if this pregnancy has completel left my body. I think by then it would have, so many clots have come out since Thursday.

I just want m baby back.

So sorry for the loss of your precious bub :hug: I know exactly how you feel.

Again hun I am really so very sorry xooxx....

Oh sweetie i am so sorry :(

So sorry for your loss.

Regards,
Dianne

I am so sorry.

I hope that there are loved ones around you to healp you grieve and heal.

:grouphug:

Oh littlelove I am so sorry :( I have been there too. Please look after yourself and take time to grieve xxx


Sent from my iPod touch - sorry for any mistakes!

So sorry for your loss :(

I am really sorry :hug:

So sorry for the loss of your baby littlelove

Oh Littlelove :hug:
It's a horrible place you are right now... Like others, I know this hurt - and I know how horrible it is. :(
Lots of love, support and strength. No one should have to be where you are right now. :hug:

I am so sorry for your loss :hug:

huge :hug: sweet.

No matter what rationalisation we give it it neither makes is easier or fair.

:hug: I'm so so sorry you lost your baby. That is just devastating. Whether there is a reason or not, it still isn't fair. Look after yourself.

im so sorry huni xx

Im so sorry for your loss xxxxxxxxx

So sorry for your loss :( :hug:

:( I am so sorry :hug:

I'm so very sorry. :hug:

I'm so sorry your little baby couldn't stay here with you. It broke my heart to read of all your dreams being taken away with this little one and you already picturing your little one with your girls. It's just not fair to rip someone's dream to pieces like that. Take time to heal hun and I wish you all the very best if you decide to try again. Big hugs sweetie :hug::hug::hug:

I'm so sorry x

I'm so sorry for your lost baby. It just isn't fair.

Oh sweety, Im so sorry for your loss. :hug:

Ive had to go through this too and I know the hurt and the broken dreams. Its so very hard :hug:.

Thinking of you.

I'm so sorry for your loss

:comfort:

Hug xoxox :comfort:

Sorry to hear of your loss xxx

Oh hun, I am so, so sorry :hug:
Go gently. I hope you have all the support and love that you need.

I'm very sorry :(

*hugs* I'm so sorry hun :( It's never fair, never easy and it's just darn cruel that our bodies do this to us xxxx

Thank you all so much for your kind words & support.

I still can't believe that his has happened. I left the house for the first time today for something not hospital related & I found it so hard. I guess it will get easier.

Looking at your signatures, I can't believe how many of you have had to endure this so many times. You are all so strong & amazing. I hope that I will be able to be as strong as you all.

I had my last(hopefully) appointment at the hospital today. I've decided to let nature do it's thing. I've bled so much that I can't imagine there being anything left. I can't believe how many of the medical staff are so non chalant about this. The gyno I saw didn't even acknowledge our loss. And to add insult to injury I've had an allergic reaction to the gel they used for the internal ultrasound & look like the friggin elephant man down below. Now I'm hoping that this stupid backache will just stop.

Through all this the one thing I've known is that I don't want to wait to try again. This I am certain of. We have wasted too much time waiting. Waiting for the right time. I want to try again, not to replace the little one we have lost -because I think that having another will only remind us more of them, each & every day - that will never be possible. There will always be an empty place at our table, an empty place in our hearts.

Thank you all again. I hope & pray for all of you that you will once again get to hold a precious baby in your arms. I'm so sorry for each & every one of you that have had to go through this too.

xx

It is hard to leave the house at first, but you are right it will get easier with time. :hug: I had my D&C about two and a half weeks ago and its still really hard for me to go out in public because there are just too many reminders.

Im sorry the medical staff were so non chalant. I was treated the same way by the nursing staff and anethatist at hospital. They told me not to cry because this m/c was for the best. How could it possibly be for the best that my little one, who was very much loved, very much wanted died? What I lost cant be replaced but they didnt seem to care less. My Obs was the only medical person who truly showed me compassion for my losses. I am so grateful for that.

Trying again for me was filled with nervousness and fear. When I got my BFP with the next pg I cried for my little angels that didnt make it. Be prepared for some unexpected emotions when you do get your BFP. You may find you are in tears one minute and filled with sadness then absolutely estatic and happy the next.

I hope your body heals quickly so you can try again.:hug: