Absolutely desperate for help - re: DS and bottle refusal

I've posted about this before but I'm reaching a point where I'm losing sleep over this. DS refuses a bottle and has done so since he was just about 3.5 months old. He is now 7.5 months. The most luck we have had is 20 mls on Monday night - but Tues and Wed he cried and cried until he got the breast (OK, crying was like 10 minutes, but I just can't accept the approach of let him cry until he succumbs and takes it - that's not what I want to do).

We have tried EVERYTHING suggested - every type of bottle, sippy cups, cups, expressed milk, formula - EVERYTHING. In 6 weeks I am going to be away for 48 hours and I am freaking out. What can I do? How will he survive those 48 hours if we don't get him on a bottle before then? Not to mention that I am returning to work part time on Monday and although I will be mainly working from home, I do need to pop into the office every now and then and I can't manage the pressure of doing this around feeds because I am the only one who can feed him.

My husband is convinced we will get DS "on the bottle" - I am so NOT convinced.

Also, if anyone has a recommendation of a sippy cup WITHOUT the anti spill valve, let me know - the ones that I have are so hard to suck (I've tired) and I want to make it easy for DS.

Sorry if this sounds a bit nutty but I am so worried about this.

When BF was going really badly for me in the early days with DD, my doula bought us a new Medela bottle, not sure if you've tried it. Basically it's teat is designed to be similar to a breast in the way that it has a little reservoir in it, and the baby has to suck to get the milk in there and then into their mouths, instead of normal bottles where it is right there and drips or flows. It's a bottle made for BF babies, maybe that will work for you? The other thing we did was cup feed, out of a medicine cup. It's not ideal, as they get the milk super fast with minimal effort, but maybe worth a shot at this point. I hope you can get your DS 'on the bottle' as your DH says :hug:

we found an old fashioned sippy cup from coles. It was a cup with 2 handles and a sippy bit with just 3 holes. You could see if you could get hold of one of those tuppaware cups with the sippy lids.

has you husband tried feeding bub while you aren't around?

I like the Tommy Tippee cups - DS still drinks from those, ideal at night because they'd pretty hard to spill from (no valves). And they don't spill in my bag. He's going to school soon so I'll have to get him used to his big boy non-spill flasks now.

You can get open cups for babies - can't remember the name of them but they're sort of slanty so the child is more cautious about up-tipping them all over themselves.

Hi,

Babies and bottles - they just seem to be part of the same package. but the truth is lots of babies never have a bottle pass their lis - and they do beautifully. The drag with the bottle is you spend so much time getting them to take it and then at some point you have to go through the painful process of getting them off the bottle.
Babies this age LOVE a straw cup. Dunno why - but they love it. To get him started, try him on a juice box - you can squeeze the liquid up into his mouth. There will be no going back. Already you are not the only one who can feed him - I guess he is having food? He can pretty much feed himself, or his carer can feed him. Not to say that when he cottons on you are at home he won't want you - but that's because he wants his mum, not about how he is fed.

Oh I feel your pain! Did you know you can take the valve out of the sippy cups?
Dd has only just figured out how to use a straw cup, at one year old! But before that, I just couldn't leave her side. I wish we tried the straw cup earlier thoughbecause she probably would have taken it!

I read in an aba mag about a woman with a similar problem, and she started getting the bub to suck a washer in the bath and then started putting the washer over the bottle teat and then from there bub associated sucking with the bottle. Not sure how old her bub was though.

You can break the no spill valve of zippy cups...dd used to chew through hers.

If you go for a straw cup, make sure it's one without the valve (ie the cheaper the better).

Otherwise I would be cup feeding.

Good luck!

I was also going to suggest the straw cup hun. IGA has a good one for only $3 ,DS drinks his liquids from that. There is also a sippy cup called Heinz baby basic that has a valve if you want the non spill option or you can take it out and the spout has 3 holes in it so the fluid flows fairly easily. I can feel your stress and frasturation, but keep trying a few different things hun and hopefully there will be one he is OK with. My DS refused most sippy cups but then loved the straw cup. GL!

^^ that's a great idea! Definitely going to try that.

The anti-spill valve in our Heinz sippy cup is removable. We took it out to help DD learn that sucking on the cup = water. Which she did, and she kind of likes sucking on it, but very much prefers drinking out of a grown-up's glass or cup :D I got mine at the local IGA, but I'm sure you can buy them at Target etc

Thanks everyone - there's a couple of new ideas here.

PZ - I've tried that bottle - DS didn't like it (I've spent at least $300 on different kinds of bottles and teats - what a waste).

kelebek - my husband and my mother in law have both tried feeding DS when I've been out of the house - no luck.

I haven't tried a medicine cup - I have a soft (silicone?) cup with 2 handles that I've been giving him after his solid feed - with water in it (currently just lunch as we just started 2 weeks ago and he's only eating a tiny bit). He lets me put the cup in his mouth and tilt it, but he mainly chews and if liquid goes into his mouth he spits it out or he swallows it incorrectly and coughs.

On Monday, I'll have in hand a sippy cup from Ikea that I've been told has no valve so the liquid just flows...I'll also take a look in safeway and coles (the 2 chains close to us) and also see if I can remove the valves from various cups

I've tried a cup with a soft straw - the first times I used it (with water), he just chewed the straw. The next time, I filled it with formula to see what would happen - and because I mixed formula it was quite full which meant the liquid came up the straw very easily - and he cried and cried!

FlyingButter -that open cup sounds interesting (although it may not be that different than the type of cup I have already tried) - let me know if you remember the brand

I have 1 Tommy Tippee that came with one of my many bottle purchases but it has this weird spout protector that is like a flip cap (doesn't detach from the cup) and it gets in the way of DS getting the bottle in his mouth - maybe it is made for an older child?


Barb - I'll continue to try the straw and the juice box is a good idea, however I don't want him to only want sweet juice. My preference is to stick to EBM/formula/water. I wish they made a box with water in it just to get me started (but how ridiculous and non-eco would that be!). Solids are new to him...and I am, so far, the only one who has been with him during his solid feeds so far...but my carer will take that on during my work days. My main concern is peace-of-mind (mine) - I want to know he'll take a full feed from a bottle/cup/whatever - as mentioned, in 6 weeks I will be away from him for 48 hours (this is fixed and cannot be changed) and each day that goes by where he cries when an alternative is presented, I freak out.

Arcadia - now that's creative and worth a try - I'm going to get on to that - thanks!

Thanks everyone else as well. I've expressed a whole bunch of milk to practice with this weekend - I hope something works!

:crossfingers: goodluck hope you have some success this weekend

Give him a "cup" (we used the little lids off the avent bottles) in the bath and see if he drinks the bathwater.

And taking the valves out of the Heinz cups worked for us too - just don't make it very full!

Is he eating much? My DH resorted to weetbix (which sop up a huge amount of EBM) to get milk into DS.....

Hi,

I wasn't meaning feed him juice - just one time so he gets the idea of how a straw works. If you want to you can tip out the juice and fill it with water

:hug: if you want, I'll buy that bottle off you, I'd like another one for mums place for when she baby sits. $300 is a crazy amount, you poor thing!

Barb - that's a good idea - I'll get some juice boxes tomorrow.

PZ - I am hoping that there's a baby #2 in our future - and that we have better luck with an occasional bottle feed when the time comes, so I'm going to hold on to them and hope they weren't a complete waste.

That's a great idea to put a little cup in the bath and see if he drinks the bath water - as is the wheatbix idea (although he's not quite there yet but soon).

I really appreciate all the suggestions.

The other thing I read in an aba magazine was blindfolding a baby who had feeding problems. It seems strange and would feel bizarre, but I was thinking maybe it's the whole co ours and visuals bub doesn't like... Maybe if it was just ebm it would be familiar? I'm clutching at straws but I can tell you're open to anything at this stage!

bulief - I know your pain! I've just been through this with DD. We had tried all sorts of cups, bottles etc since April with no joy. DH, MIL, SIL, my mum, my sis & a friend had ALL tried, as well as me. The bad news from our perspective is that we just got nowhere. And finally she started family daycare (8 hour days twice a week) 2 weeks ago. For the first FOUR days she drank nothing, not one drop. Then on Monday (5th day) she was given a Nuby straw cup (... and she downed 50ml of chilled EBM happy as larry (and yes we'd tried it warm, cold, defrosted, fresh... you name it). Incidentally we felt the Nuby (with valve) or the MagMag seemed to be the most likely options to work. If I were you I'd try to get her to do full days without you prior to that 48 hour stint. Also, my DD eats really well, so she still ate & slept ok(ish) without me, and my carer tried to give her liquid foods too (we were both relieved it wasn't summer!).

Now that i know it took her four full days, I can see why it didn't happen with me & my boobies around!

And my only other suggestion, lots of happy faces & cheering, try outside if that calms him down. GL, I hear your pain :comfort: it's really stressful isn't it.

I will go for the straw cup as well. I'm currently getting my 10.5 month old used to it before I go to work, I will be gone for around 14 hours when working so she has to drink something. Bottle she didn't really care for, she would suck on and off but not interested in it. The straw cup is an absolute winner. Will sit happily and drink her milk now and gets shirty at me if I try to take the cup away. I have 2 nubby ones and a cheapo $7 one from kamrt.

My LO wouldn't take EBM from a bottle - not cold, not room temp, not heated, not nothing: booby milk came from the boob or no where! DH tried numerous times to get him to take a bottle and at the most he would have about 20ml.

When he was about 8 months, I was having one of "those days" tired and emotional (DH was away) so I gave DS1 (who's 16) a bottle of Bellamy's formula to give to my LO - he drank it all! My LO - not the 16YO!!

It took until he weaned for him to take a bottle off me, even then he was a little sceptical and would poke my boob.

Good luck and try not to stress - I'm sure he won't starve and will take food/milk from his carer when you are not there.

Happy to report that we have had a bit of success...

DS is allowing water to go into his mouth from a small Ikea sippy cup without a valve - I think he is swallowing some although a lot of it is coming back out - but he seems happy to allow both the cup and the water into his mouth. Today, our nanny (on her 2nd day!) got him to take 40 ml of formula from a bottle (I'm around - working from home in a separate room and he can't see me). I had run out of EBM and didn't want to skip a day of trying with a bottle. Funnily enough, he did this 2 hours after a breastfeed so he wouldn't even of been that hungry or thirsty.

I've also been putting EBM into his food and he's taken it and the nanny put formula in his lunch today - so he received more liquid via his breakfast and lunch as well (and his eating has improved). I'm finally beginning to believe that we will get there. Tried the straw including Barb's suggestion above - he didn't take to it but we will also persist with the straw option but he's a bit younger than Little Chicken's or Belfie's little ones (plus he was a month early so he's even younger) and I think that he's not quite ready for a straw as he just wants to chew it. I do have to "show" him how it's done a bit more though.

The times he has taken the bottle (these little amounts of late), the people (DH or nanny) have used distraction techniques. Although I did not want DS exposed to television, DH was watching sport while he was trying and that seemed to distract DS from the fact that there was a bottle in his face and he took 20mls. Today, the nanny walked around while feeding him. Although I know my MIL had tried the walking around approach before - it could also be the nanny's attitude - like "this will happen"!

Gosh Belfie - they are stubborn aren't they - FOUR days!!! silly little ones! they like what they like, that's for sure.

Now I'm encouraged to get back into an expressing routine - I was throwing so much out that I lost motivation to make the time to express - but now that it won't all get tossed, I'll get back to it....although maybe he will only want formula from a bottle and BM from the breast - who knows!

Wow - Cass 72 - your post wasn't up when I posted mine - I think that's going to be the case with us - and that's the formula that we are trying as well! I'm fine with him getting the boob when I'm around, I just want to know that when I'm not he will get what he should be having in terms of milk/liquids.

Been there, done that, complete and total refusal of the bottle. I persisted and persisted for a few weeks (I had to go back to work so she HAD to go on the bottle) and about 2 days before I went back to work she finally realised that you actually need to suck the weird plastic thing instead of screaming about it not being a boobie and boom, that was it, no more issues at all.

Thanks Rumpled Elf...It may be the same with DS. The most he has taken from a bottle is 40mls (formula - I've stopped pumping for these trial feeds as I was throwing out so much EBM) - twice from the nanny and 3 times from DH in the bath (DS loves the bath and is so relaxed that we figured we'd give it a go)...but that is certainly not enough to replace a feed. We've also been trying a non-valve sippy with not very good results with formula although he will take water from it (but for some reason refused to this morning for the 1st time). DS also doesn't seem to get that he needs to suck from the weird plastic thing which is why we thought the non-valve sippy might do the trick. I hope he gets it soon. Thurs will be an interesting experiment as I am going to be gone (for the first time) for 5 hours and our carer is going to offer him the bottle/sippy when he usually BF's. I am dreading hearing that he cried the whole time.

I realized that given his solids intake and his morning/bedtime BF, he'll probably be OK the 2 days/week that I'll be in the office (although OK is different than happy). However, I am still dreading the upcoming event I have where I will be away for 30 hours. It's going to be so hard on DS - he'll wake-up and I (and my boobs) won't be there. At least DH will be, so DS will have his dad, but I don't know how he's going to go for 30 hours if he continues to refuse to suck the bottle (or take it from the sippy).