DD1 needs help again

As some of you know from previous threads my DD1 has had an eating disorder since she was 9. We are starting to tumble back down that black hole again. She looks like a POW. All you can see is bones. I'm afraid to hug her in case she snaps in half. She has been spotted by friends making herself sick again. She is not eating at all if she can get away with it. DD1 has also been smoking weed. Not just one or two hits but the whole bowl. I know she has an addictive personality as my dad does too so I know what to look for but she now smokes cigarettes, weed, doesn't eat and is piercing her body. She has her nose done, her lip done, her belly button done and she has done her ears 3 more times after the initial one I had done. I'm so scared for her.

I have booked her in to see our GP next Tuesday (1st appointment available) and he phoned me this morning so I could talk to him about what she has been doing and I hope he can suggest something to help.

We have tried to get her into see the child eating specialist at John Hunter Hospital but they don't think she is severe enough :o I wouldn't want her to get any worse and the counselling she has had has been a bandaid solution :wall: . She just tells them what they want to hear. She has her whole life ahead of her but I'm scared she won't be here to enjoy it.

I'm sorry if this is rambling a little, just need to get it out so I can take a big breath and start again with her. I thought we were over this but apparently not. Now a newborn and two diabetics kids aren't enough - my big girl still needs help too.

Kim, I just want to give you the biggest warmest embrace right now, you are going through so much. I hope your GP will be able to work with her to help her.

Regards,
Dianne

Massive hugs huni...praying you get the help you need for your dd and family x

Lots of love to you - I had a disorder as a teenager too, I shudder at what my mum went through...
I hope you and she can get all the help you need.

I was badly anorexic when I was younger. I still fall into the habit of not eating for a few days.
I hate to think what my parents went through. At 5 foot 7 I only weighed 39 kilos.
I weigh 64 now and am still borderline underweight.

I think be thinking of you, honey.

Thanks guys.

charlotte - my DD is 5'10 and at the moment I'm not sure how much she weighs. I don't keep scales in the house for this very reason. She used to weigh herself all the time. She has only weighed 50kgs once. From the look of her I would say she is in the low 40's now. She usually stays around the 47kg mark but lately just look so scarily thin. She has no boobs any more to speak of and her legs, which were ok due to horse riding, look like sticks. Her face and body have broken out in big sores due to the lack of nourishment.

My heart is breaking for her and there is nothing I can do. We have exhausted every avenue where we live. We may have to look at Sydney somewhere. Oh god I just want her healthy.

Oh hugs hun I hope you can get some help for her, when I first started nursing I worked on a peads ward and we had a frequent flyer with a severe eating disorder and she would come in for NG feeds and would have a nurse with her 24/7 even in the toilet watching that she doesnt spew or disconnect the NG etc.

I would suggest if GP cant help presenting to emerg at hospital that has a peads ward and demand action.

Hugs hun you know how to contact me if you need xoxo

Hun as someone who has suffered with an ED for the last 10ish years, i would say she sounds bad ebough to take the the eating specialist at the hosptial!!!! If she has sores, and weighs under 50kgs at her height I would take her in as soon as possible, more because it is such a destroying and obssessive disease. It needs to be addressed before it get any worse. It is scary but i cannot stress how important it is for you to get her help as soon as possible.

Big hugs to you!!!! It is such a crappy and horrible disease, for the person and for the family and friends. Just keep telljng her you love her and that you will be there for her always. Xxx


Sent from my iPhone so sorry for the spelling and punctuation!!

I have phoned the specialist that my DD was referred to last year. Her receptionist was very helpful and seems to think that she didn't even get to see the last referral (via the hospital system) as she doesn't turn kids away. Any way I have contacted my GP about writing another referral for her and also it was suggested that she get one for CAMHS as well. Luckily they are both in the same building. DD has already been through CAMHS but hopefully these ones are trained to spot where she is lying. I'm feeling a little more hopeful but don't want to get to excited iykwim. This is going to be another long road to travel. Not sure if I have the energy to keep going much longer though.

I have no advice but just wanted to offer a :hug:

I really hope your able to find the help she needs to beat this.

just want to offer you a million :hugs: its was hard watching a sister go through. I can't imagine what it's like as a mum.

Massive hugs... If you dont have the energy to go through it, we will carry you through it.
Xx


Sent from my iPhone so sorry for the spelling and punctuation!!

That's sounds so incredibly tough on all of you. Sending loads of hugs

No advice, just a :hug: I hope your family finds the help you need!

Just wondering how your DD is??

We have the GP appointment today. I haven't made it a big thing though to DD as she might very well run off and not go :rolleyes: I have told her it is for a check up and to have her wieghed and see if she needs the dietician again. Sneaky I know but I also know DD.

She is still not eating breakfast and if she can get away with it lunch as well. We have been sitting down and eating at the dining table lately so we can watch how much she eats. I don't put a lot on her plate so she doesn't feel daunted but I have noticed she is not eating everything on there either. If she could she would live on energy drinks and cigarettes. Real healthy.

Fingers crossed my GP remembers my talk with him and can just start assessing her when we get there.

hope it goes well. let us know. hugs

All the best for today Kim, will be thinking of you.

Regards,
Dianne

Another one with a history of an ED here. I also had trouble again after the birth of DD. :hug: it's such a horrible thing for both the sufferer and those around them. I spent 3mths in one treatment facility and short stays here and there. It upsets me when doctors put people in he category of not bad enough, because the earlier ED are treated the better! Hope all goes well today and she gets into treatment soon! Dr Phil is on ED today if your interested. :hug:

Oooooooh thanks em. If I can get to my telly (DD2 & DD3 are watching ABC2) then I will switch over. I think I have seen just about every show that Oprah did though :)

Thinking of you and your DD on this extrememly hard journey - sending heaps of hugs.

**UPDATE**

DD saw our GP who questioned her quite extensively re her drug habit. Apparently she has smoked a $50 by herself :o She must have been off her face after that much. She told him about smoking cigarettes as well and he was not happy with her. He weighed her and she is 47 kg (more than I thought) and she is 174cm tall. He wrote up a new referral for us to see the specialist and hopefully this time we get in. I'm hoping, that by her knowing we know what she is up to, that she will stop itms lol. Oh well waiting to hear from the specialist now. Not to long I hope

I'm glad things are moving forward for you. Each step forward is closer to your DD getting better.

Thinking of you! xoxoxx

Thinking of you today Kim, I hope the appt goes well :hug:

I've been where your daughter is, at the same age. You're doing an awesome job just by KNOWING what she's up to. My mum didn't realise I was slipping into an ED or that I was smoking. It took me until I was 20 to realise the damage I was doing and help myself. Part of the reason I'm slightly chunky now is that I don't want to fall into the trap again. I can't describe how addictive it was to deny myself EVERYTHING. And I still can't explain why.

Keep in her face about it. Do not back down. She needs your loving hand to guide her. You're a wonderful, present and observant parent. :hug: Sending you all some strength.

I have only just seen this, but wanted to offer some hugs. Your DD is much the same age as mine... it's a scary thing, parenting teens, at the best of times, much harder to be dealing with what you are. Much love & support to you :hug:

**UPDATED UPDATE**


DD1 has moved out as of last night. We found another bong in the caravan so, as per our previous discussion, we were moving her back into the house. She told us that "she liked smoking pot and that she was going to continue to do it and that it was our problem if we didn't like it" :o We didn't shout at her or anything but she still went and packed a bag and left. Her brother (DS1) was devastated as he looks up to her so much. I think this will affect him for quite a while.

I am a little sad but mostly just disappointed. I thought I'd raised her better than that. She has chosen drugs over her family. All we have been able to do is tell her we love her and that she can come home when she is ready.

WHY is all I want to know......

Oh hun really sorry to hear this, I can only imagine how you must be feeling. There will come a time and I hope it's soon but she will come back home, she won't forget her family. Sending you lots of :hug:.

Regards,
Dianne

Hugs hun as I said in sms I hope she wakes up to herself and realises what is good in life.

HUGE hugs for you you dont beed the stress with all the rest you have xoxox

Thanks Dianne and Fiona. Knowing I have support helps. DF, and surprisingly my mum, have been really supportive too. All this hasn't been helping with my depression though. I have been fighting it but some days it wins. Those are the days I have suicidal thoughts. I won't actually act on them but I still think of ways to go. I want to be my sunny, cheerful self again soon.

Chant to the universe

"Let all my anger and despair turn to laughter and love"

Oh Kim how utterly devestating for your family. Nothing I say will make this better but I truely hope your DD is back in your home soon :hug:

lots of hugs to you.

How is everything going hun, how is your DD? Been thinking of you xxx.

Regards,
Dianne

DD is still out of the house. She seems to be handling everything ok and is even determined to still get her school certificate. I'm trusting her to follow through on what she says because I can do nothing to help her. DF is having the most trouble letting go. I think me having a melt down has helped him realise what his constant talking about her is doing to me. She is still smoking (cigs and weed) but they are now her choice. We still talk on the phone and irl. I let her know she is loved and that is all I can do.

Dianne thanks so much for thinking of us. It helps to know people care xxx

Sorry to read your update Kim. Hopefully she will get her head together soon. Love and constancy will see you all through ... it is so hard. Big hugs :hug:

couldnt read and not post. sending you lots of hugs and support and hope that your DD returns to you soon. your so very brave and very strong

Sending lots of hugs and love. xoxox I hope that your doing okay xox

Well DD is telling lies again. She has told a friend of mine that DF called her " a f-ed up junky whore" At no time has he ever called her this. She is making stuff up to suit the situation again and she loves to play the poor me victim. I hope when she gets older and remembers what she has done she will be very embarrassed and ashamed. Times like this I'm glad she doesn't live here :(

What an awful situation, thinking of you.

Regards,
Dianne

Oh hun hugs so sorry to hear she is saying such horrible things.

Hope things improve soon.

xoxo