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DP asked her to be in it. I didn't really want her in it. (SIL).
She's being a mole all over FB about me, reporting my status updates to MIL who then rings up and abuses DP about them.
How do I *nicely* get rid of her?
Wedding is in a few weeks, this needs to happen ASAP.
Thanks.
You tell DP to deal with it...
he then rings up SIL and tells her to bugger off outta the wedding party.
Discussion closed.
He can't!! He's too soft!! I'm freaking out.
*Pick up phone
*Dial SIL phone number
*Say hello, but do not enter into small talk
*"SIL, I am not very sad to have to say this, but I do not wish to have you standing up beside me on my wedding day. I don't feel you are a friend to me and so I will not have you in my wedding party. Thank you, but your services are no longer required. Good night."
*Replace reciver
*Pour glass of wine.
I'd only add - *pour glass of wine first and drink.:
or new FB status ... "Tag SIL since your so good at reporting back to MIL, could you please go and tell her that you are no longer my bridesmaid. thanks"
I agree with Limeslice and Divvy. But don't get too beswipst before calling.
Or you could always text her from your DF's phone, with his knowledge. Or respond to facebook with "and you really think I'd want you as a bridesmaid after that? That's right, I don't." (Actually, just un-friend her on facebook and save your sanity.)
As you didn't ask her, you could always just not get her a dress/outfit, not tell her when the rehersals are and act all surprised when she thinks she's a bridesmaid. My mum asked some of my cousins to be bridesmaids/pageboys that I didn't want at all, so I ignored the whole situation and she eventually had to un-ask them because I wasn't doing anything to include them. Wow, I'm a wuss.
:rofl::
Either this or what Lime said.
Exactly that!:
Thanks Ladies (still open to more suggestions!). I'm thinking Mumme's suggestion is the one I'll probably go with (coz I'm a sook!)
TFB- Her dress is already been bought and she's tried it on.... Gah, its this stupid fight between MIL and us (as of the last conversation I'm a stuck up, self righteous biatch who needs to get off my high horse....umm, full of 'poo', overprotective, she doesn't know if she's coming to the wedding because she doesn't approve of DP "marrying that".)
This is just so stressful....
That's awful, all I can say is hugs and I hope your wedding goes off without a hassle.
Combine both of them...
Pour glass of wine...
Write status....
once message is recieved Delete toxic people out of your life (inc FB)
Have another wine
and enjoy YOUR day. xoxox
rofl, go with MN's idea!
Good luck! ;)
I HATE MY SIL!!!! She is the same are we related :p
Ok so I've had to do something like this DH's mother invited her to my baby shower I just sent her a fb message saying " look I know you've been asked to attend my baby shower but sorry you are not invited" and left it at that and she never rocked up short and sweet always works! I never had her mobile number as I CANNOT stand her!
So why not try " Look I know you have been asked to be a bridesmaid to my wedding but unfortunately you are no longer needed, thanks for you willingness to be my bridesmaid it means alot" Pretty much slaps her in the face but also has a nice twist at the end :p You could also add please feel free to wear the dress still though HAHAHAHA!!
Once its done, its done. Don't think about it...just be straight out about it....you will feel 1 trillion times better once you have done it.
You can't have her in your wedding- she is already spoiling YOUR day...off with her head I say!
Just do it hun...
This is your ONE day.
It is YOUR day.
Stuff anyone elses feelings, this is the one day you can be totally selfish (not that I think you are) and demand what you want!
You don't want to 1) have a bad day and 2) look back on wedding photos with her in them upset , just to please others.
I say, pour the wine, pick up the phone, say your piece and hangup and be proud for standing up for yourself
yep, yep and yep!:
your wedding, no beating around the bush! go do it!
Sounds like my sil too!
Write her a letter explain why she is NOT a bridesmaid.
Or
Write a status thanking all your beautiful bridesmaids for being the best, tagging them all, BUT her!
Actually, forget about the bridesmaid bit. That isn't as important as the next bit.
Let her know she isn't invited to the wedding any more. Do either of you want such a horrid person there? Well then.
Some good suggestions here! If you really don't want her, make sure you do something about it - don't decide to have her in it just to keep the peace. 3 of my friends have all had bridesmaids that they weren't really sure about and all of them now no longer speak to the 'bad bridesmaids ;)'. One of them even hates the girl so much she doesn't even like looking at her wedding photos :(
Try not to stress and just get it over with. Who knows, maybe she will be relieved!? It sounds like this might be the case. Good luck with it all!!
Also: I suggest you try to be as mature (and nice) about it as you can. You don't want to start a war, especially right before your wedding.
id tell her stright out...
Agree lol:
Yep you just need to tell her as difficult as that can be, could one of your other bridesmaids help you out with this perhaps? I know with my own experience I had a bridesmaid who became a real pain and I didn't really want her anymore or know how to tell and also found out she was *****ing about me behind my back anyway, so one of my other bridesmaids spoke to her and suggested "look your obviously not happy with being in the wedding why dont you let (me) find someone else", this then led to her *****ing "oh what she doesn't want me anymore is that what she said" and my bridesmaid said "No but thats what I am suggesting as I dont think either of you are happy". This then gave her an out and she opted out I enlisted another friend who I would have much rathered and it was all good, and the other girl still came to the wedding no fuss and it was all good.
Best of luck with your situation and I really hope you can sort it all out.
This is a really good idea. Could it work for you?:
I am also thinking that your SIL may not want to be your bridesmaid anyway (it doesn't sound like you get on, so what's in it for her???), and may be relived to be given an out.
GL with it.
I know how you feel I was in a similar situation and had to tell one of my bridesmaids to beat it, it’s not a nice thing to have to do no matter your feelings towards the person.
I called her and told her EXACATLY how I felt and that I no longer wanted her to be a part of our special day, and that judging by her comments and actions it was obvious she didn't want to be a part of mine. I felt sick to the stomach before doing it (even though she showed no respect for me), but was relieved and at peace once I had done it. I offered to buy her dress and shoes off of her so then she had nothing more to ***** about, as like you it was only a couple of weeks out.
Weddings are a day to celebrate the love and commitment of two people, you don’t want ANYONE there that doesn’t wish you well. Your MIL and SIL obviously have no qualms about disrespecting you (and your DF) so my advice would be to get them out of your life. Life is too short to have to deal with people like that.
i kicked one of my Bridesmaids out of the wedding party ummmm only a couple of weeks before the wedding. She was being a right biatch! was in the bridal party as i'd been in hers, she was DH's family, we were going to keep just two couples in the bridal party, and their five kids. one couple turned on us after DH's brother passed, and were saying some pretty horrific stuff about me. she rang, with a mutual friend there, saying some nasty stuff, and i just said "look, i'm over this cr@p - if you can't treat me with respect now, how the hell can you think i'd want you anywhere near the most special day of my life. I don't want you in the bridal party. Decision is made, not going to discuss it, goodbye"
her hubby rang up and DH answered the phone - he asked if he and the kids were kicked out - hubby said no, that was up to him, it wasnt' him being a twat - was his wife. the hubby (DH's nephew) got drunk that night, drove out, attacked DH (they came to blows to the point the police had to be called to remove him from the property) so he wasn't in any more either. they decided their kids couldn't be in anymore - fine, their call.
our wedding day, and our memories of it, were MUCH better having made the decision to kick her (and, by default i guess, him and their kids) out of the bridal party. i look at the photos and smile - i don't feel cr@p about it at all
just bite the bullet and do it hun - this is about you and your DP sharing your love for each other - you don't need their negative BS around you to tarnish that day
I don't think you should do it on facebook, or get another bridesmaid or anyone else to do it for you. You're angry about her behaving in such an inappropriate way and you shouldn't lower yourself to her level. Pick up the phone, tell her that her behaviour has made you really angry/upset and that you don't want any tension on your wedding day so you think it best she is no longer in the bridal party. Acknowledge the issues between you and your future MIL and say that you completely understand if your SIL would rather not come to the wedding at all. If you and your DF agree not to have her at the wedding at all, then just tell her straight out. And your DF has to grow a spine and deal with this too - if he just avoids the conflict then he's a huge part of the problem. You are entitled to his public support, even if privately you agree to disagree on it.
just call her and get it over with, just tell her inlight of all the comments posted about you on facebook, she is no longer entitled to be your bridesmaid.. I made the mistake of keeping one of my "bad" bridesmaids, just to keep the peace and it turned out horrible. My matron of honour had to tell this bridesmaid to leave at the reception, due to her talking crap about some of my family members! and because she had borrowed a pair of my shoes, my matron of honour made her take them off because she wouldn't being seeing me again lol ahahah
don't leave it until its too late, you will regret it.
Its all done. She rang and pulled out herself. Its a weight off my shoulders. Thanks ladies!
Yay!!!!! Here's to a fantastic wedding :d
Oooohhh yeah!! Wedding here I come!! Only 27 days and 1 hour to go!
Hehe I'm counting down with you, I love weddings!! I'M excited :lol: I'm gonna do a fb countdown with you I think!!! :d you're going to have the best time!!
yay!! so glad its sorted hun!!!!
cant wait to see the pics!!!!
Nice that you get out of it and she can't whinge about you kicking her out!
I was going to suggest a shotgun and a shovel but I see that you've resolved the issue using legal means ;)
Bahahaha, thanks Onyx! That still might come up...